Three Years in the Defacing

by Kimiko Heroux

Three years of writing about the Frontier gang brings me to this. Warning: May cause head trauma. Rated T because of Mirai's potty mouth.

A/N: Here it is! The center of my attention for the past several months, and the most crack-filled fanfic I've ever written. And my God, it is LONG! I didn't expect it to turn out like it did at all. I jumped in with about six pages for an outline, no plot, and no ending, and this is what became of it. I received a lot of help from Toshiku Yumari and without her, I'd probably not be finished. I'm sort of planning it to be like the Island of Lost Digimon movie in that they make no references back to it in my actual story (though I wouldn't blame the Frontier gang for agreeing to never mention this again.).

I'm pretty much the world's biggest procrastinator. I found a new anime to fall in love with called Sword Art Online and it is pretty much the awesomest thing ever next to in the invention of the square watermelon. I'd found it very very easy to get distracted with it and leave this one-shot to rot for a while.

Anyway, I guess I should apologize for pretty much dropping off the face of the planet for the last several months. I've been caught up writing this, watching anime, doing college scholarship stuff, I've had my running, and all sorts of crap. But I'm just glad that I finished this by Wherever You Will Go's 3rd anniversary like I said I was, despite how totally messed up this is. The narrator—*coughakamecough*—is very bipolar at times, which I guess isn't exactly inaccurate… *shot'd*

Please don't flame this for its stupidity. It may just be the most retarded thing you've ever read, but when you're exposed to really weird things while outlining this, you tend to write things equally weird. Though I think the strangest thing is that it actually starts out halfway normal. The protagonist actually seems pretty level-headed…well, until you get to the fourth paragraph or so. You have to feel a little bit of empathy for the Frontier gang, namely Takuya. And Patamon (because I kinda forgot to put him in here… oops…). And Mirai, even though she kinda has it coming…

Sooo…yeah. There's a bit of language in this; Mirai gets a little angry at certain parts, but it's rather understandable. And about that antagonist, well…I'll just stop here. I'll just say that you should totally check out the manga that's mentioned in here, it's really awesome. Also check out Sword Art Online, it's really awesome as well.

That said, please enjoy (is enjoy even remotely the right word?) the 3rd Anniversary one-shot for Wherever You Will Go. It's been a long, crazy journey and what a way to celebrate, with a long, crazy one-shot. God have mercy on the Frontier gang's souls so that maybe they'll last more years to come with me writing of them…

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.:Three Years in the Defacing:.

I felt amazing. Breathe in, breathe out. Not too fast, not too slow. The rolling up to the toes with each drop of the foot, smooth and fluid, felt great. This was perfect. This is how I wanted to always run. It felt like my form couldn't have gotten any better if I was Alberto Salazar. Too bad that this time around was all luck and I actually had the worse running form in the world. Now, let us see here… I flexed my arms, rolling my wrists around as I checked my watch. Two miles down, two point five left. Where was I now? Oh yeah, Chapter Fourty-Seven. I need to add a lot more crap to that one. I only have half a page of notes…

Yup, this was typical me on a typical run on a not-so-typical morning. On most occasions, especially when school was in session, I spent my weekend mornings snoozing until around noon, but today I wanted my creative juices to start flowing early so I could spend my day putting the Frontier gang through hell and back once again. After all, I had a complex when it came to taking three months to update one freaking chapter. Actually, I had a complex with many fanfic-related things. A visitor complex, a review complex, an update complex, a page number complex, etc etc. But point being, my runs were what got me thinking and without them, I'd probably pop.

The weather was perfect. The leaves were changing and full of color. This was the time of year I loved to run. People always thought I was nuts, going outside in athletic shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up when it was not even sixty degrees Fahrenheit, but I really didn't blame them. If a version of myself about six years younger saw me right now, busting my butt and dressed like it's summer, she would've thought I was a little bonkers too.

Okay, so maybe I was a little crazy. I was a senior in high school going nowhere fast, running in the cold pretty much just because I could, and getting ready for college to do the weirdest combination of classes in existence. Dual major of Japanese and Athletic Training, with a minor in Creative Writing. Yeah. Random.

Come winter, people will slap me for my stupidity. Trudging through the snow in sweats and a paper-thin sweatshirt, freezing my fingers off because I "conveniently forgot gloves", wasn't really victim to supportive comments. But my consolation was that the looks that I got from people weren't quite as bad as the frostbite that never seemed to forget to nip my fingers. And nose. And ears. Okay, confession: Everything I had that could get frostbitten has fallen victim to that impending evil at least once on runs.

But I crossed that bridge when I came to it. Right now, enjoying the Midwestern United States' autumn and thinking about Digimon were my top priorities. The usual. When I wasn't breaking my running times down into a science, I was obsessing over my favorite anime. My ringtone on my phone wasn't the Frontier theme for no reason, and saying, "Bring on the beef, baby!" whenever we had hamburger for dinner wasn't much of a coincidence, either.

Correction: Digimon wasn't an obsession. It was a lifestyle.

Okay, so if—[spoiler] happens, then what if I have—[spoiler]? Hmm, yeah, that could work. And when Lucemon goes bat crap crazy, they could—[spoiler]. Yes, I like that! I made out a grin when that decision was made, veering off the road I lived on onto a bit more empty road. I had taken the route many times; it sloped slightly uphill and had a narrow, gravel shoulder on each side to which I ran upon when the occasional car passed. It was your typical country road with its fields and forests about, farmhouses dotting here and there. It was the road with the creepy house that I had reason to believe a serial killer lived in and all of the dogs you could ever want to attack your legs while barking up a storm.

My mind went over my current point of writer's block. My method was to play the situation as if it were the real anime and go from there, stimulated by how much my imagination decided to run around. Some days it could run faster than my legs could, others it could barely crawl. Today, however, I was feeling pretty hopeful. There was something about the songs I was singing off-key in my head and the rhythm of my footfalls that brought me a sense of upcoming fortune.

Yup, things are gonna be lookin' up from here! I snickered, but my triumph was short lived, because when I looked down to reassure myself of my form, the ground was suddenly gone from under me. All there was below me was blackness. "Oh, sh—"

Falling. Oh yeah, and screaming. That's all I really could remember of the moments that followed. I wasn't sure if I had my eyes open or closed because it just all looked the same and I was too busy saying my final prayers to even care either way. And I sure as hell wasn't gonna bother thinking about where the hole came from that I fell in. A good question would be when I was going to land—if I was going to land, that is. And how hard.

And then in a flash, there was blue. Green. Sky. Trees and grass. Apparently my eyes were open. Omigosh, it's the—and without finishing my thought, THWACK!

I felt like I had just run into a steel door (not that I knew what that felt like). That, or a steal door fell on top of me. "Dear God, I've never been in so much pain," I moaned. My voice morphed into a whine. "Why am I not dead? Any lucky person would've been dead…" I curled my fingers and was surprised when instead of grasping dirt, my fingers wrapped around… cloth? It was then I took into realization that I wasn't exactly lying flat, either. My eyes snapped open and transfixed on my clenched fist. I had grabbed onto a green cloth, a gentle green—

I was up into a sitting position before my mind could question. I knew that green anywhere. But… My face contorted with skepticism. …that can't be right. The hair was all correct though. Sleek, yet fluffy-looking ebony hair that fell down to almost shoulder-length. Skin was accurate too. Soft and pale complexion, but not a pasty white. Yeah, this has to be some sort of twisted dream. It's so not fair that this isn't reality, otherwise—

Then I heard his voice. "Oww, what happened?"

Now was when I pretty much had a panic attack. I yanked him up by the shirt, exclaiming in a girly tone, "Oh my God, Crispin Free—I mean, Koichi Kimura!" and then embraced him all in one, big motion. Talk about a fangasm. If there was anyone I loved more than Crispin Freeman, it was that cute little Warrior of Darkness that he voiced.

My insanity must've scared him because it took him a second to respond. But when he did, dang did I enjoy it. It was like listening to Kyon from Haruhi Suzumiya, but better. Much, much better. "Uh…how do you know my name?"

I pushed myself back from him, highly against my mental advisements, and stood up, pulling him up from the ground with me. At this point, I was nothing but smiles. I had pretty much forgotten the pain that had come from falling from the sky and landing on one of the most awesome anime dudes ever. Right now I was just focused on that awesome anime dude; not much could beat meeting Koichi Kimura. "Oh yeah, I'm Kimi! I'm a really big fan of yours!"

He looked slightly unconvinced of my cheerful remark, his pretty, round blue eyes exhibiting this. And this was the point where he really started sounding like Kyon. Only he would give a statement as critical as this. "You mean a stalker, right?"

My beaming didn't fade. I actually had to restrain myself from commencing the huggling. "Nope, just a fan!"

It looked like maybe he was going to smile lightly and a slight pink began to envelope his slightly round cheeks. I could've died with how cute he was. So cute it must've been illegal in a million and one ways. "Well, I'm flattered…I guess."

"Koichi!"

Omigosh, I know that overprotective, instantly-fearful-over-Koichi voice! I spun on my heels like a hound veering towards the scent of game. Instantly, my eyes didn't fail me, because two figures came running in our direction. I knew exactly who they were just by how they ran. That, and I could see Koji's ponytail going flowy-flowy behind him like a ribbon. I should totally get ponytail advice from Koji! His is so prettiful! "Koichi, we heard a scream and we thought you were in trouble!" And that voice… mmm… Steve Staley…

"Wait!" I suddenly took into consideration his words, getting past how his voice could seduce a lady. "You thought that girly, high-pitched scream was Koichi?!"

I never thought being looked at by Koji and his girl could be so intimidating. I had almost forgotten that one certain OC of mine had a glare that could make a rabid bear turn tail and run, but man, did she look accurate. I couldn't contain myself; she was exactly how I had pictured her. "Mirai!" I scrambled over to her, ignoring the looks that a second ago scared me, "You're exactly how I imagined you! The dark hair, purple eyes, flat chest—"

WHACK!

One thing that came back to me in a second was that she resorted to abuse on many circumstances, namely ones like these, leading me to suddenly know how Takuya felt after getting slapped so many times. She was pretty good in that area precision-wise, supported by her tone, "Who are you and why the hell are you so happy?!"

I took the chance to introduce myself once again. I was having a lot of fun wallowing in this reality I was in. "I'm Kimi! I'm the one that created you! You know your angsty, homicidal nature and star-crossed backstory? Yup, that was all my doing!" My grin stretched from ear to ear. And before she could get angry at me again, I then pointed to her fingers that were subtly interlaced with that gorgeous Warrior of Light's. "Buuut… I'm also the one that caused this!" I crossed my arms and dropped them against my chest with a huff. "Youuu're welcome!"

They all took turns giving me odd expressions. I knew full well that they thought I had gone off the deep end—maybe from hitting my head from falling from the sky—but I was just fine with this. As long as I got to meet the rest of the Frontier gang, then I'd be perfectly content with this awkward silence they were offering me. It wasn't every day that an author could personally be introduced to her characters and so I was going to flounder in this for as long as humanly possible.

"Can we leave her here?" Mirai's question made it sound like she had forgotten I was here. Rather, that she didn't care that I was here. She looked to the twins with genuine annoyance that revealed she was being completely serious with the voiced inquiry. How rude.

I pouted. "Don't do thaaat~!" I whined as if they'd actually do that. I knew Koji probably wouldn't have a problem, Mirai certainly didn't, but Koichi had enough heart. He of all people wouldn't leave me here. "You don't have anything going on right now! Take me with you!"

They gave me incredulous looks but it was Koji that voiced their thoughts in his cool, level-headed voice. "How do you know we don't have anything going on?" He gazed at me with that suspicious Koji-stare that he was ever-so good at.

I was rather pleased that he asked. After all, it helped prove that I was the author of this twisted story and this wasn't some weird happening that the Frontier gang could deem me psychotic for. "Wellll, judging by the scenery and the fact that Mirai is still wearing Taky's goggles from when she stole them on the moon, I'd say that I've landed in the period of time in between Chapters Thirty-Nine and Forty! And since not much happens in between the two chapters, I'm assuming you guys set up camp." I smiled and clasped my hands together to continue with my begging. "Can you please take me with you? If you leave me, I might die and then the universe will implode on itself!"

The expressions that they gave me after this made me think they were in pain. And when Koichi agreed to my request, I thought for sure that Mirai was going to commit bloody murder. How a girl like her spawned from my mind, I would never figure out.

But by the time we got to their camp that was the last thing on my mind. The other Warriors were gathered around a fire and instantly my fangirlisms began to take over without a single warning.

"Taku-kuuun~!"

*GLOMP!*

Yeah, this is exactly how things went. Not only did Takuya seem like the ideal character to glomp, he was my favorite character of the Digimon franchise, so I pretty much had no choice but to do so. It was the things that followed that choice made me make the wrong decision. First off, how creepy my next words were, "You smell even better than I thought you would!" In the midst of this, I saw one fuming Italian girl giving me a look of death. She probably adapted it from Mirai, I figured as I told her possessively, "Back off, Sister! He's not yours yet!"

Ignoring everything I had just said and the fact that I was pretty much sitting on his lap now as result of my sporadic glomp, Takuya just gave me a WTH?-based expression. One eyebrow was curved really dramatically. "Uh…who the hell are you?"

I thudded my chest with my fist and took the honor of introducing myself again. "I'm the author of this twisted story you're in, but you can just call me Kimi! As for you, you're Taku, my favorite character of all time!"

Koji's voice came from behind me, sounding rather unimpressed and actually a little bored. "We have reason to believe that she hit her head a few too many times." Oh, JiJi, if only you knew the half of it. If only, if only, if only…

"Yeah, kinda like you, Taky!" Mirai added almost cheerfully, the most optimistic I had heard her all day, a half of a smile present on her face. But that's how she usually was, only happy when a) she was getting alone time with Koji, or b) when she was insulting Takuya. It was then I realized that I really should've broadened that girl's horizons when creating her character.

The abused Warrior of Flame let out a groan, but over all just ignored my OC's insult. His bright, chocolatey—mmm, chocolate…—eyes stared at me with distinct curiosity, tempting me to hug him some more because he's just so pretty, as he moved onto another question that I was pretty sure everyone else was wondering as well, "All right, so…why exactly are you here?"

I brought my hand up my mouth as I tried to conjure a response (which was rather hard with Takuya being right here and thus I was highly distracted). "Well—" Okay, Kimi, time to make sense. Don't blow it. "—all I know is how I got here…sorta. I was just on a run out by my house—my pace was amazing today, by the way—and a portal opened up under my feet. I fell in and of course, with Koichi's luck, he broke my fall, and here we are. As for why…" My eyes darted about, trying to dig for an answer. "I believe I was sent here to fix a plot hole or something that's affecting the balance of my fanfiction."

Tommy's shining eyes flashed to me from under his big, puffy hat that I just adored. "Wait, what do you mean fanfiction?" he questioned with his child-like innocence.

Ooh hoo hoo, here's the fun part. I broke out into a smile when I began to answer the littlest Warrior's question. "Yep, originally all of you guys, except you—" I pointed to Mirai at my last two words and in response, she just glowered at me from her place on the other side of the fire beside Koji. "—were merely characters in season four of the well-known anime called Digimon that aired…oh, about ten years ago. But three years ago, I decided to make your adventure all screwy by adding my even more screwy OC, Mirai Kimishima, to the mix! And thus, my rewriting of the fifty episodes began!" My smile twisted to exert some of my excessive pride.

And just as I did so, Mirai decided to cut in, her violet irises flaring with irritation. "Wait, so I'm not even supposed to be here?! What the hell, man?! What the actual hell?! You realize my existence could screw up the space-time continuum, right?"

My voice answered quickly, since I knew such words were going to be coming my way from her eventually. "And that, my bust-less OC, is why Space and Time are your Elements." My proud smirk managed to grow still larger. "Sure, I messed with a few things here and there in your series—like making twelve Legendary Warriors instead of ten, making Cherubimon pretty much in love with Ophanimon, morphed the canon characters' backstories…—but you'll still receive closure in the end. Don't worry, I planned it allll out!"

"That's what we're afraid of…" Koji muttered inconspicuously.

"But wait!" Zoe leaned forward toward me with an expectant expression. She really was a pretty girl now that I saw her in person rather in my low-quality Digimon Frontier DVDs. "If you're in control of all of this and have the rest of our journey planned—"

JP saw where she was going with this and continued to make the point, his voice way more excited than hers. "Does that mean you can give us spoilers?!"

"Hey, aren't spoilers for sports cars?" Neemon interjected, earning a scolding from Bokomon and one of those famous snaps of his waistband. His yelp made me chuckle; I had almost forgotten about their running gag. But it did surprise me he knew about cars.

After that little display of Bokomon's discipline, I got back to Zoe and JP's inquiry. "Huh, now that you mention it, I'm not sure. If anything, that would screw up the space-time continuum…" My thought was interrupted by the sound of my stomach begging for food. As usual. "Well, looks like falling through deranged portals can work up an appetite!" A few people groaned at my lame attempt at humor. "What's on the menu, guys?"

At the sight of freshly-cooked meat apples, I almost died. I had always craved apples when watching episode nine as they ate them, and when I did go fetch myself an apple, it just wasn't the same. The fact that anime food always looked better than real food still applied here, even though in this reality it actually was real food. I squealed with delight and began to scarf down the strange meat-fruit. The Frontier gang just sat there watching wide-eyed as I devoured several quite quickly.

Yes. I like to eat. A lot.

During my moments of gluttony, a thought came to me, causing me to turn to Bokomon with stuffed cheeks. I was pretty much void of manners as I asked with a full mouth, "Ay, Bofomawn…" I paused to swallow, since apparently I couldn't speak correctly. "Can I see your awesome book?"

He studied my face for a moment and pondered, putting his paw up to his chin as if that helped the whole process along that much more smoothly. "I suppose it wouldn't do any harm. Maybe there's something in it about your arrival in the Digital World."

As he pulled it from that rather gaudy pink waistband, I turned my head slightly to whisper a question to Takuya, gesturing with one index finger back at the white Digimon, "So, exactly…how does that fit in there without…collateral damage?"

An incredulous expression crossed the pretty boy's face, but then he briefly smiled when he caught the meaning of my words. And dang was that a heart-stopping sight to see. "Believe me, we've been wondering the same thing for a very long time."

I took the book when it was handed to me and I took a moment to just stare at the binding. The cover, spine, and back were covered with the Digimon language that always looked more like squiggles to me and then also Bokomon's radish head. I had always been a little disturbed with its design and, seeing it up close, I fully knew why. Flipping it open, I began to scan the pages, taking time to look at the drawings that seemed to be all done with crayon in a preschooler's spare time. The words that were written were illegible to my human mind so I was disregarding them. Until I came to one page that caught my complete attention.

Not only was it the only page with no child-like drawings in it, but it was also the only page written in English.

"Uh, Bokomon…?" I didn't know what to make of the page, so I showed it to him. There was a part of me that told me that he probably wasn't the one that wrote this. "Can you read this writing?" As soon as he gave his negative response, saying he'd never seen such writing before, I turned to the Frontier gang. "How about you guys?" Aside from Zoe being able to probably recognize a few of the words that are idiomatic as in Italian, I doubted it, and so when I received the response I had been predicting, I couldn't help but think out loud, "Wait, if I'm the author and I write in English, why can't you guys read it? And if you're speaking Japanese, why isn't there a language barrier?" I groaned and my voice turned up to a whine. "Why is this so confusing?!"

"Well, I suggest..." Bokomon try to pull me out of the rant I was about to go on with a not-so-subtle hint. "Maybe if you read the text, we can figure out just what is going to ensue." Aka, you want me to shut up now, right?

I casted him a look that consisted of narrowed eyes and a childish pout, but he didn't see it, so I gave up and turned my head down to the book in my lap. The text wasn't very long, and what was written was really quite elegantly scripted, unlike the rest of the book's sloppy writing and artwork. "Okay, lemme see here…" I did a quick double-check that there wasn't another page with English before beginning to read. "The creation that—"

A rough, cold gust of wind blew out the fire and interrupted me mid-sentence by blowing the book shut. Aww crap… I didn't even have the chance to turn my head towards the direction the wind came from before I was abruptly dumped off the Warrior of Flame's lap into the dirt. "What the h—?" My question hardly could be formed before I saw exactly what triggered his rough-and-tumble action. "Oh…well, this has kinda begun to suck."

The figure was a tall, green Digimon with a mostly mechanical design. Its hands were revolvers that were currently pointed at us, it had a small head with two large ears protruding from it, and it had very long feet that reminded me of elf shoes. As soon as the thought came that it reminded me heavily of a bunny, I knew exactly what it was. "I've been waiting a very long time—"

"Rapidmon!" I exclaimed, jumping onto my feet with a little bit too much excitement. "Momentai!"

The Digimon stared at me with his big, blue, bunny eyes. "What the hell is a 'momentai'?"

The Frontier gang also gave me some confused expressions, to which I sheepishly responded with a cheesy smile, "Just…trying something. Carry on." Internally I was crying; my hope of this being a 03-04 crossover and seeing Henry was suddenly demolished like a little bug being squished under a boot. Now all there was remaining was icky bug guts.

Rapidmon stared at me for a moment longer, to make sure I was completely done with my Tamer-based interjections, and then continued in a rather annoyed tone, "Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted—" I gave him a shrug and a cheeky grin at the emphasis he put upon his words. "—was that I've been waiting a very long time for the one to come along that can read that text. In a Wisconsin accent, no less…"

I crossed my arms and pouted. "Shut up! My accent is sexy!"

The bunny-dog-thing narrowed his eyes at me and said in a very as-a-matter-of-factly voice, "Just because you say it, doesn't make it true, you redneck—" I glared at the name, but he just overlooked my irritation. "—No matter, Master Lucemon requires your knowledge—"

My ears caught the sound of Mirai chortle, once again interrupting Rapidmon. "Ha, what knowledge?! Only if it takes knowledge to be annoying would she have any notable brains." Wow, that was a really low blow. I gotta hand it to that girl; she really knows how to kill self-esteem. "But go right ahead and take her. We don't want her; she's been eating all of our food." Why does everyone say that?! If you don't want it eaten, put a sticky note on it!

Rapidmon didn't appreciate being cut off again, even if it was to insult me, and it was evident in the deranged-looking scrunching up of his face that he did. "If you're about done, I'm about to make my master's proposition. …If you don't mind." He casted every one of us a look that dared us to speak against him.

And my stupidity wanted to say something, so I raised my hand. "Question."

The Digimon groaned. Apparently he didn't really appreciate the bombardment of dialogue that was going on here. "Yes, country hick?"

I used my fingers to count off my points, speaking with the as-a-matter-of-fact-ness that he had earlier displayed. "One, I don't appreciate the Wisconsinite stereotype, and two, by calling Lucemon your master aren't you implying that you're lower in rank than everyone who calls him Lord, which is virtually everyone that serves him, meaning you're the lowest of the low out of all his flunkies?" As soon as my mouth shut, I could feel stunned stares smacking me from all of the Warriors. I tried to make my response sound reasonable-ish. "What? Writing about you guys takes a lot of character analysis."

JP became the spokesperson for the humans in an instant. He could've done without the insult, though. "It's just the fact that you actually made an intelligent observation." Gee, way to leave the surprise out of your voice.

Rapidmon crossed his arms—er, revolvers?—and stared hard at us. "Excuse me!" Does this Rapidmon have an accent? Ha, and he mocked me for mine… "If you're about finished again, I'd like to continue." A long pause ensued to emphasize his point before he resumed speaking. "All right, so Master Lucemon desires your presence when he's resurrected to assist him in his goal of destroying the Digital World." …Wait, what? This is not part of my plot.

I threw up my hands before me and shook my head frantically to begin my refusal in the most practical way possible: Degrade myself. "Woah, woah, woah! I think you got the wrong dude! I'm harmless—I can't destroy anything!"

From a few feet away from me, Mirai began to tick things off her fingers. "Let's see… DemiVeemon, my brother, Karin—"

And apparently this meant Takuya had to join in. Why, Taku, whhhy? "My dignity, my innocence—"

As much as I hated cutting that cute little Flame Warrior off, my mouth forced me to. "All right, all right! But I have another question: If Lucemon is as good at destroying things as his Digimon Wikia page says, why does he need my help? Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you," Rapidmon muttered, but proceeded to answer my inquiry. "It's not your ability—or lack thereof—to destroy. It's your ability to create."

Folding my arms across my chest, I huffed and caught the meaning behind the words. "Huh, and seeing that I'm the author, I create things all the time… Ohhh, I see, he wants me to make his new world for him. Yeah, that makes sense." I looked at Takuya and instantly, innocence overcame me. It was hard to have anything other than cheerfulness when he's the one you're talking to. "Hey, Taku, wanna come with me to make a new world that's full of darkness and evil stuff?"

His eyebrow twitched as he gave me this beyond-dubious expression. "Not…really…"

Accepting his answer, I turned back to Rapidmon and my mouth flat-lined. "Yeah, if Taku ain't gonna be there, I'm not gonna be there, either. So why don't you scurry home to your master like a little puppy with his tail between his legs and leave me be? I want some Taku-time while I'm here and you're wasting it!"

Completely ignoring my Takuya-fangirlisms (but I did happen to hear said Warrior groan), he proceeded to be offended. "For a hillbilly, you sure are rude." In response, I just shrugged in indifference. "Fine, then. If you won't come voluntarily, you'll have to be taken by force." That is the most cliché line I have ever heard. How dare you invade my Frontier with your overused lines and your freaky accent that I still have yet to completely identify!

"Crap, we have to protect her now, don't we?!" Mirai muttered, probably purposely loud enough for me to hear. I had made myself one feisty OC and it took me this long to realize it. Isn't that reversed dramatic irony in all of its glory?

Koji's perpetually-sexy voice answered her. "Unfortunately, that is how it appears."

"C'mon, guys!" Takuya pulled his D-Tector from his pocket and gave each of the Warriors a determined glance. Man, did I love when he got his hero complex on; it was pretty dang hot. "Let's Evolve and try not to get too annoyed with the author as to let her get hit with a few, ehem, 'stray attacks'." Well, at least he knows Mirai enough to make a point of saying that.

When they complied and Spirit Evolved, I was really hoping it was just as showy as it was in the actual anime (*cough*as in Takuya's clothes ripping off in front of me *cough*), but I was sadly let down. All it was from the outside was the encasing of the Warriors in that sparkly blue Fractal Code. Despite how disappointing the Evolution sequence was, it still was a dream come true to see all of them in their awesome Legendary Warrior forms. Although, it did appear that somehow Kazemon's armor was even skimpier in person. That, on the other hand, wasn't a dream come true to see.

"Your attempts to beat me will be very amusing to witness." Rapidmon's smugness bugged me. No one mocks the Frontier gang! Only I'm allowed to do that! He outspread his arms and pressed his legs together. "Tri-Beam!" Little orbs of light appeared at the ends of his revolvers and the tips of his feet and between them a green triangle appeared. I knew all-too well from Tamers just what was going to happen next, so I quickly took shelter in a very conveniently-located tree (which is needless to say, since we're in a forest).

The entire tree shook with the impact of the beam hitting the ground. Dirt erupted into the air and I clung to the trunk of the tree for dear life. About this time, I heard all sorts of attacks flying about, and I knew that this wasn't exactly the best time to be glad I arrived here, since I was now a sitting duck (the most overused phrase in Digimon) as the Warriors and some dumb enemy made this forest a battlefield. Oh God, I'm gonna die here, aren't I?

There wasn't anything quite like Mirai getting frustrated and vocalizing it. I had never realized she swore so much, especially in battle. And Takuya as well. I gave him a mouth in this fanfic, which pretty much almost made me cry because I made him very, very OOC. He was right; I did destroy his innocence.

…Regardless, he still was pretty badass.

My tangent that I had gone off onto was abruptly interrupted by that aforementioned Warrior of Flame using a fire attack and all-too opportunely setting the tree I was in on fire. Pointless to say, I was out of that tree faster than Izzy can say 'Prodigious!' and with a whine in hand. "This is why I usually don't insert myself into my fics! I only write about battles!" The temptation to go into the fetal position and think about pancakes was beckoning me highly at this point.

Koichi, who was in his awesome Lӧwemon form at this point, turned to me with wide eyes. They were like rubies and dang, were they awesome. "Wait, that's it! You're the writer of this story, therefore, you can control what happens here! You just have to write the battle!" And that is why Koichi is my favorite Crispin Freeman-voiced character. He is a genius.

But then a little part of me clicked a little bit. Man, I hated those rare moments when my common sense kicked in. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?!"

Mirai as Gryphanimon (who probably had the blandest appearance out of all the Warriors. Bleh, my bad.) looked back at me, her voice more feminine than as her human self's really was calling back to me, "Do like I used to do with my song lyrics!" Huh, now that you mention it, I haven't had you writing lyrics in the dirt in a while…

The thought dawning on me, I dropped down to the ground and pressed my finger into the moist dirt. In my messy, yet somehow legible handwriting, I wrote the words, With no given warning, a blade consumed in a raging fire materialized in Agunimon's hands, the Symbol of Flame burning with a golden hue in his eyes. When I lifted my finger, the writing was redrawn in a bluish light and the sky above flashed a matching color. A beam of light shot down and consumed Agunimon, materializing in his grasp a long, Samurai-style sword veiled in flames.

The Warrior of Flame grinned at this latest development, twirling the sword about like it was a Hawaiian torch dance. "Hell yeah! I guess it helps being your favorite character!"

I smirked with silent agreement as he lunged forward with the agility of his Human Spirit, his eyes ignited like the sun…or…something. He's got 'im! I laughed and threw up my fists. "Yeah! Kick his ass, Taku! Ganbatte! Ganbatte! Ganbatte!" I hoped about, cheering one of my favorite Japanese words. This was turning out to be a lot better than I first anticipated.

He leapt up and with that snaggle-toothed grin and his eyes set aglow, eyed up Rapidmon. "See ya, buddy!" And came down hard with his sword.

The mecha-bunny Digimon crashed to the ground and semi-typical-almost-cliché dust rose up at impact and his body cratered into the earth. Despite that I had just witnessed Takuya commit totally merciless homicide without any sort of hesitation for it, it was still pretty sweet and therefore I was beaming from one ear to the next. "Dude, that was AWESOME! And that is the exact reason why you never mess with the Frontier gang!"

The blade disintegrated into dust after its purpose had been fulfilled, and the Warriors as one unit approached Rapidmon from all sides. First image of the way they surrounded the Digimon was of some sort of cult preparing for a ritual and the thought probably would've made me laugh if I had been less caught up with what I actually witnessed. His body was growing distorted, almost like a pixilated image, and it seemed like his body was pulling itself apart. Flash, blur, flash…flash, flash, flash!

I turned and shielded my eyes from the pulsating of light as it grew faster and faster so rapidly that my head began to hurt. The moment I could look back, my eyes widened in recognition and my mouth dropped open slightly. Oh. Crap. I looked up at down at the Digimon standing before us with its lanky arms and legs, small head with golden-hued hair, and the bull-like horns that protruded from the sides of its head. How the hell…? "Diaboromon?! What the hell is this, The freaking Digimon Movie?!"

Kazemon poised herself near Agunimon, staring at the devil-based creature grinning at us like this was all some sort of game of which to him it could've easily had been. "Wait, what just happened?! He couldn't have Digivolved, could he?"

Bokomon had his green book out and had it open to a page that had a scribble drawing of the aforementioned Digimon and non-English text. "No, far from it. This is Diaboromon—" I just freaking said that was his name. "—the devil Digimon whose goal is to deplete the Digital World of Fractal Code to the brink of destruction! He takes pleasure in bloodshed and slaughter!" Well, the movie never really said that he did that. That's….new. And a little scary.

His voice sounded exactly as it did in the movie, that Paul St. Peter voice if I recalled correctly, but his words reminded me more of Cherubimon's dub script. "This battle is far from over. It amuses me that you think you've won." He chuckled darkly. "Legendary Warriors, let us see what you think." Like in the movie, apparently he had the ability to create copies of himself which right now was pretty much cheating because we didn't have Omnimon, nor could Koji and Takuya activate the Ancient Spirit Evolution yet. They were like mosquitoes, swarming about but not attacking until the initial command. There had to be at least fifty of them, each one as annoying and freaky-looking as the last.

As Mirai took the time to let out a cuss that she was ever-so famous for, I heard Kumamon question with his innocent, child-like voice, "Can't Kimi just write that we win again?"

Oh yeah! I smiled and perked up with confidence. "Yeah! You're really stupid if you forgot about that!" I darted my eyes around, looking for the real Diaboromon. "…whatever one you are…" I scratched my chin. "Uh…yeah, you know who you are!"

That smile that the devil Digimon could conjure up was more disturbing than anything else I'd ever seen, and just the curvature of his mouth could show me just which one was the original. "You honestly believe that I had forgotten?" He raised up one hand, his long, crimson fingers pointed upward. "Let's see how fast you can write." And dropped his arm down.

I dropped to the ground out of more fear than to set off writing the battle, only to hear Agunimon and Gryphanimon arguing while slaughtering Diaboromon copies, which totally distracted me, since it regarded me. The Warrior of Flame conveniently told my OC to protect me for her only to complain, "No way! I was created to kick ass, not babysit!" You don't know that; you're just making a total assumption. Besides, you should obey your creator.

Lifting a finger up, I piped up and retorted a little louder than I had anticipated, "Actually, you were created as Koji's love interest!"

Agunimon grinned and used this new information to his advantage, "Yeah, so if you want any more Koji Make-Out Sessions, I suggest you protect Kimi." Oi, I love the way he says my name when he's got his hero complex going on! Hee hee hee, I am such a fangirl and I really don't care!

The Warrior of Time took the time to go back and forth between us with a harsh silence, and with clenched teeth, she conceded after a long enough pause, "Fine…" Yay! Quality time with my OC! Despite the fact that we're in the middle of a battle, that makes me so haaappy! "If you're gonna believe this is quality time with me, you're mistaken." Her look nearly killed me right then and there. I was so terrified of that expression that I almost wet myself.

How the hell she read my mind?! Maybe we share a special creator-character bond! I smiled, showing all my teeth, to which she just stared at me with pure annoyance. Okay, so much for bond… "Eh he he, I guess I'll start writing!" And again pressed my finger into the dirt, but this time, didn't make any sort of movement to write. I just stared down at the ground, despite all of the death and crap going on all around me, my eye twitching. "Oh crap…"

Gryphanimon finished off a couple copies of Diaboromon and turned back towards me. "What is it?!" How the hell she was able to hear my little mumble over the racket of the battle was a mystery to me. And did I happen to hear a little bit of concern in her voice?

"Gaaah!" I beat my forehead with my palm. "Writer's block!"

I thought I saw a sweatdrop form on her head and one corner of her mouth droop down in a funky way that could only be formed in the world of anime. "What the hell are you talking about?! Just write what you need to write! Don't give me this crap—we're busting our asses for you!" She roundhouse kicked a Diaboromon and sent it spiraling to the ground before charging at another. Her eyes were glaring back at me with sheer fury. "Write, bitch, write!"

A pout went across my face, realizing she swore a lot more than I thought she did. "You don't have to be so mean about it…" I mumbled, looking back down at the dirt. I pressed my finger back in and began, slowly yet steadily, Then, without any known causation, the copies of Diaboromon suddenly di—

"Cable Crusher!"

In an instant I felt my organs being crushed by my ribcage. Diaboromon's claws tightened agonizingly around my frame and the scream the ripped up my throat confirmed ever-so clearly that this was all reality. No dream was like this. In no dream had pain been so on-hand. Now I knew exactly what sort of hell I put the Warriors through every time my fingers touched the keyboard. And my hell was now whispering to me in that taunting, crisp voice, "If only your muse was with you, then maybe you wouldn't have been so slow."

Slow, slow, slow… I narrowed my eyes, my teeth clenched tight enough that my gums were hurting. I hated that word used on me. Slow. "Shut it," I muttered, beginning to curl my fingers around into a fist. My muse isn't going to help me here; I'm here, it's not.

Diaboromon chuckled and turned his wrist so as to turn my face towards his. A crooked grin was the one thing that I wished I could've killed at that moment. "Oh, what was that, little author? Is the little writer not happy how her story is going? Maybe if she spoke up a little—"

"I told you to shut it!" My fingernails were pushing hard into my palms and only then did I realize I was just about to start ranting. "You're just a sporadic character that popped out of nowhere; you know nothing of Frontier! Sure, my fanfiction utterly sucks sometimes and it has a ton of plot holes, most of them I probably don't even know about, but who the hell are you to judge it—you're not even from this season, you *bleep* *bleep*-ing * mother-*bleep*-er!"

I'm not sure who decided to pipe up at this point, but whoever it was clearly didn't care how loud they were. "Well, I can see where Mirai gets her colorful language now."

The devil Digimon cackled, ogling down at me with twisted gaze. "Oh, so this is where we stand? You attempting accusations and me with full ability to crush that pathetic human life out of you right here and now. If Master Lucemon didn't have a purpose for you, I wouldn't hesitate with killing you right now. I wonder…does a human such as yourself turn into a DigiEgg? After all, you are from the real world, one far more real than the one these children are from. An experiment for when Master Lucemon is finished with you…"

If I would've been smart enough to stop to wet myself from his mental spinning, I probably would've been better off. But no, I had to be snarky. "Again with the 'master' title, Diaboromon? It's surprising that Lucemon trusts you with any of his plans, especially when dealing with such a delicate situation as this one. What if you accidentally destroyed me before his mission is complete? What if my death would tear apart this entire reality? Can you risk it?" I didn't realize I had the nerve to stick out my tongue until it was hanging out at him.

"I don't like you. You kinda disgust me, actually." I knew I was pushing his buttons, but he knew not to try anything, realizing the validity of my words. For all anyone knew, they either could be absolutely correct, or absolutely false.

I smirked at him, rather cheerful despite my current predicament. I had a habit of being rather bipolar. "What can I say? I'm an annoying little redneck."

"Annoying isn't even the half of it!"

Gryphanimon's voice drew my head up just as she struck Diaboromon from behind, veiled in an encasement of fire, her Burning Oras. There was a crude exchange of vulgar words between she and her target in the midst of the next few moments and unfortunately more came from one certain Time Warrior, as the most her attack did was get Diaboromon a little warm. I, on the other hand, was cooking like a worm on a sidewalk in the heat of summer. Dear God, it's not Diaboromon or Lucemon that's gonna kill me; it's gonna be Mirai, isn't it?

"Why won't you die already?!" Mirai now sounded about just ready to start ripping this guy apart with her own two hands. A large part of me didn't really put that possibility past her, either, and that thought utterly terrified me more than Diaboromon holding me captive at this point. A murderous Mirai was definitely not a happy, well-controlled Mirai; even I as the author and her creator had difficulties making her comply when her temper got bad.

'Cause apparently we need Tai and Matt and Omnimon to do it, I thought, growing more and more claustrophobic as time passed. No one could make an effort to get to me, as they were still busy slaughtering the Diaboromon copies, and Gryphanimon was worn out from the Burning Oras. Gaah! Why did I make that attack so useless?! was my thought as Diaboromon gave a smug answer, holding me out toward Gryphanimon as if I was a prize he was taunting her with, "Oh, but wouldn't that be too easy? If you hadn't noticed, the battles drag out in these fics."

Instead of Mirai getting annoyed with my captor at this point for his words, her eyes flashed to me a blaming look. Yeah, thanks. "But if you hadn't noticed…" She snapped her head up at Diaboromon, a spark igniting in her irises. "…in these fics, we always win."

I turned my chin up to look at him, admitting, "She is right, you know." I puffed up my cheeks and smiled, pushing the air out through pursed lips to make a very annoying sound. "And you what is also very, very common in these fics?"

All of the Warriors' voices came from all around us, growing instantly near as their words rang out to answer my question, "TOO MUCH DIALOGUE!"

A barrage of attacks upon Diaboromon began, from every Element and every given direction. The bombardment was acutely planned, because not one attack came close to hitting me (unless it was because Mirai was angry and kept missing). And when Diaboromon's surprise made him drop me, I had the distinct pleasure of being caught by that awesome Warrior of Flame himself. I gave him a cheeky grin as he told me, "Seriously, Kimi, there is way too much dialogue."

"Too much dialogue that just let you land hits on that nutcase." I patted his mask where the Symbol of Flame was located, to which he only narrowed his eyes. "Now, go finish him off, pwetty pwease." I think that pushed his buttons a little too far because it was about then he dropped me. No, seriously. He let his arms fall down to his sides and watched me fall down onto my butt. How nice of him.

I got up to my feet, thankful for being on the ground now, and just as I turned back toward Diaboromon, he erupted into a bright light. Unfortunately it wasn't the light that appeared when a Digimon's Fractal Code became visible, nor was it part of a DigiEvolution; it was different somehow. Wait… I furrowed my brow as his silhouette morphed into something that made a little part of my memory click a little bit. My mouth moved to annunciate two syllables, "Oh, crap."

Its body was large and ovular. Two long arms with three-clawed hands curved out before it and six red, spike-like wings flared out from its back. It was mostly green in color with a small, navy blue head atop a craned neck. It had a panel on its belly that looked a lot like a screen of some sort or a chest plate to protect vitals. It had no feet, just a long wispy tail that came from under its large body. Was it my fault that it reminded me of an evil sperm…?

My eyes shifted to look Agunimon as soon as I knew exactly where I had seen this Digimon before; he had a look of distinct recognition in his eyes, his jaw set tight. Before now, I hadn't been sure if he'd know who this enemy was, but seeing that expression, I was certain he recognized this enemy that we had been tangling with the entire time. After all, they had fought once before; not in this Digital World, not in the anime, either, but in the V-Tamer manga with Taichi Yagami.

Both he and I identified this Digimon simultaneously, lacking no due emotion, "Metamormon."

The others snapped their heads back to give Agunimon a distinct owlish look of confusion. It was Kumamon in his curiosity that questioned for the group, "Takuya, how do you know that Digimon?" His round, black eyes looked so child-like and innocent, as if they weren't in the middle of a battle right then.

I shot up my index finger and grinned. "I can take this one!" Taking a deep breath, I prepared to do a very quick synopsis, "So, besides the Digimon anime and the video games there's also a bunch of mangas, one of which is called V-Tamer, which centers around a boy named Taichi Yagami—not to be confused with Tai Kamiya from the anime who is based off of him—and this manga has some special issues, including one that features Digimon Frontier. And in this issue, Takuya and Taichi are taken to a parallel Digital World to stop Metamormon from wreaking havoc. They kick Metamormon's butt, yadda yadda yadda; it's a great manga, you should read it sometime." Annnd exhale… "But I think due to continuity errors or something, it means nothing that they already killed this guy."

If Metamormon had a mouth, I'm sure it would've been smiling. It seemed to have gained some intelligence from its last appearance in V-Tamer, and also a bit more personality from its 'I will copy you, I will copy you!' attitude. Geez, my fanfiction screws everyone up, doesn't it?! "It's good to know that you still remember me," it noted, peering down at us from high above in the sky. "But you must know that I am far different from what I once was."

I decided to cut in right now to make a point. "Okay, just so we're clear, guys, I have nothing to do with this character development! This guy is just whack!"

I wish I would've been able to tell if Metamormon was staring at me or not. It felt like it was, but there was no way for me to be certain. "Again with all of these insults? You know, you can't sound serious with that accent of yours, you cheese-head." I made a specific contort of my face at the way too cliché stereotype; sure, I love cheese, but this was ridiculous. "Let's see how seriously you can take someone with a dialect like that." It erupted into a light and—

Next thing I caught was Mirai's voice. "Oh God, as if one wasn't too many, now there's two of them!?"

Yes, apparently Metamormon had gone through some serious changes, as in the V-Tamer manga, it couldn't transform into a human. Now…it was a different story. It felt like looking in a mirror, and suddenly I knew how Mirai felt when confronting her double. But I think I was a little more insulted, especially when Metamormon decided to open its—er, her? mouth, "I reckon we aughta go skinny dippin' down at the crick after we're done tailgatin' at the Packer game! Then we can head back to the farm and party it up with cheese and a keg of beer! And for the little kiddies, they can drink from the bubbler over yonder we've fixed up with dat roll of duct tape!"

I facepalmed, not sure if I should feel insulted by the barrage of stereotypes or confused by how badly they were taken out of context. "That doesn't even make any sense?! Who has a bubbler at their hou—ugh, never mind!"

At the appearance of someone that looked just as harmless—is that the proper adjective I should be using?—as me, the others decided it was safe enough to De-Spirit Evolve and at the babble that surprisingly wasn't mine, Tommy whispered to JP a question that probably would've made me laugh in normal circumstances, "Uh, JP, what's a bubbler?"

And the Warrior of Thunder's response literally made me chortle a little, "Beats me, kid."

These Japanese kids don't know what they're missing, I thought with a little bit of a smirk before directing my attention back to the Digimon that dared look like me. "So exactly why did you turn into me? Just to throw baseless insults at me? I know plenty of Wisconsinites that haven't ever gone tailgating, gone skinny dipping, or drank from a keg." A disbelieving expression was sent my way, causing me to frown. "Okay, yeah, you win."

Until I saw my reflection shrugging indifferently in front of me, I didn't know just how stupid I looked when I was completely clueless. "Throwing insults was just an added bonus—" Gee, thanks. "—and now is the real objective at hand. Because I am you, it is obvious that I possess all of your abilities as well. And thus…" It bent down, eyes drawn to the ground, and in an instant, I knew what this whole plan was. Metamormon was not just about to take control of my fic. Not with me standing right there.

As it descended downward, I decided to take matters into my own hand. "Back off from that dirt!" Wow, that sounded so stupid… And made a mad, probably-more-dumb-than-smart tackle, which probably really looked weird to anyone watching, because I was pretty much tackling myself, but the action did prove effective. With my double pinned down, I showed off a snaggle-toothed grin and asked smugly, "So what do you have to say about this?"

Metamormon narrowed its eyes at me. "I was going to tie my shoe, you moron."

This made me blink in confusion, look backwards, and notice the untied laces. "Oh…well…my bad."

[A/N: Stop! *clears throat* okay, I would just like to make a point of saying this one-shot has taken a large turn for the weird. It's impossible to control a story that seemed like it was on crack during its formation and outlining, and this is the living, breathing evidence. It's not hard to notice that this is nothing like my stories usually are, and now impossible to get back on track, so I'm winging it at this point. Hence, all of the disconnected-sounding dialogue, Metamormon's changing of gender identifiers every time it transforms, and the actions that seem to be heading somewhere, but end up falling flat on their faces. So please enjoy my discombobulated fanfic, because I'm far too lazy to start over from where it started getting weird, as that would mean deleting the entire thing.]

Maybe getting me close was its goal all along, since as soon as I figured out it wasn't about to start writing out everyone's deaths in the dirt, it started wrestling with me and trying to beat the crap out of me. This turn of events consisted of a lot of rolling so that one might pin the other down, and eventually (actually not so much eventually, since it happened quite quickly), I got very dizzy. I was one to be able to get nauseated by one rotation of an office chair, so this was pretty much killing me. And since Metamormon had adapted all of my characteristics, I was able to share these make-the-world-stop-spinning feelings and was in no way at a disadvantage. Winning.

Thus, we were both just lying on the ground, my head moving around in an involuntarily circular motion, and moaning like a freaking zombie. If it wouldn't have hurt so much to look over at my double, I would've done so and noticed it was in the same condition I was, but unfortunately, I was stuck staring up at the sky, which didn't bother with slowing down its spinning for me. And it made it even a little bit more nauseating when the Warriors entered my field of vision, looking down at my copy and I with expressions I was too dizzy to identify.

"Well, this is fan-tucking-tastic." Mirai's tone revealed she wasn't very amused, but then again, that wasn't much of a surprise. "How the hell are we supposed to tell one from the other?" She glanced over at her fellow Warriors and then decided to ask, "Does this mean we can leave them both here?"

"It's simple!" I responded, clutching my hand to my head, regaining some of my marbles. "I'm the real one, durr!"

Metamormon practically mirrored my actions, but instead said, "No, I'm the real one!"

Mirai facepalmed and began to wander away, not wanting to deal with this anymore, as Koji muttered, "Oh God…" and followed close behind her. Yeah, I'll admit. The Frontier gang has seen much better days. But if anyone asks, this is not my fault.

My copy pouted and sat up, sitting on its legs folded directly under it like some sort of girly girl crouched to tend to her flowers. Okay, I would never sit like that! She reached over and hugged Takuya's legs, looking up at him while asking, "Taku, you believe me, right?" If you say you believe that thing, I am gonna smack you so—no, I couldn't smack Taku! I sorry, Taku, for thinking such a mean thing! …Oh my God, I'm totally screwed.

The Warrior of Flame's eyes darted back and forth between us, all the while going, "Eh, eh….ehh…" in his effort of trying to make heads or tails of things. I could see the panic taking over, more and more with each passing moment of growing tension. It probably didn't help that we were both staring intently back at him with matching expressions. If I were him at that moment, I probably would've thought that was the freakiest thing I'd ever seen.

"Taku!" I threw a disapproving frown at Metamormon before locking eyes with him and puncturing my lip with my teeth. "Don't believe her—er, him—wait, it! C'mon, Taku, where's that awesome Warrior of Flame intuition that I love you so much for?!" His eyes continued to be all shifty as they moved back to and fro. "I'm the one that's been here writing about you guys for three years now, I'm the one that fangirls over your anime, and I'm the one that paired the bishie with the tsundere!"

At this, Koji and Mirai turned and scowled at me at the titles I had just handed them.

I was now fired up, so I jumped to my feet, feeling offended that Metamormon had the nerve to transform into me and try to lie to Takuya so openly. "And you!" I pointed at my lookalike, causing it to turn and stare at me with wide eyes. "How dare you try to manipulate Taku like that!? He is way too awesome to be messed with like that—only I, as the author, am allowed to use the characters as my personal punching bags! Sure, some days I feel bad for it, but to say that you have the right to claim these highly-abused, OOC characters is going too far, dude!"

It turned its head to the side at my slight rant, released its arms from around Takuya's legs, and stood up to face me. I thought it was going to do something really freaky, like contort its face really creepily like someone from Mirai Nikki, but instead, all it did was begin to laugh. Wait…w-what…? Is that what my laugh sounds like? I sound like such a moron… "You're silly! You're not gonna fool anyone with that charade! So my question is, how can you try to manipulate Taku?!"

At this, my defensiveness kicked in. "I am not! You are!"

"No, you are!"

"No, you are!"

"No, you are!"

"No, you are!"

"Will you two shut up?!"

WHACK! WHACK!

My voice hit soprano, a feat of mine that didn't occur too often, my cheek suddenly burning. "Owww~!" My eyes turned to Mirai, who didn't hold much emotion beyond annoyance and held no pride from her action of smacking each of us, and then to Metamormon, which looked like it didn't expect such a blow and had wide, confused eyes. Of course it didn't suspect it. It doesn't know Mirai's character like I do. "Again?! Why didjya have to slap me again!?"

Her mouth was flat as her gaze shifted to Koji next to her without turning her head. This seemed to be a silent gesture between them to decide who was to speak, and in a single moment, I knew it to be Koji. "The counterfeit…" He lifted his hand and pointed with his index finger to Metamormon. "…is that one." His eyes displayed coolness, but they also held a little bit of confidence in his realization. That guy should be a detective…

Despite that Mirai probably wanted to beat up just about anything that remotely resembled me, a little part of me wanted to do it too, so I tried to play tough guy (which was a little weird after having whined in a high voice) by grabbing my lookalike's t-shirt collar and saying, "Only wussies try to prove a point by slapping people! If you really wanna prove a point, you punch them!" But in an instant, I felt like I'd be trying to ruin my own face if I punched its in. So dropping the hand holding its collar, I thrust my fist into its chest.

Metamormon doubled over, clutching its chest, clearly winded from my blow to its sternum. Oddly, its whole body convulsed and trembled, something I know for a fact I didn't do when I was hit in that particular place. The Warriors and I could only watch as it crumbled down to the ground, shaking like my phone set to vibrate. It opened its mouth, eyes squeezed shut, and a soundless scream tried to escape. It began to expectorate gruffly, saliva mixed with drops of blood.

I stepped back to place myself beside my OC, who shared a common expression with me. It seemed like I wasn't the only one not exactly sure what to do. I knew that I wasn't exactly the strongest person in the world, since all of my strength lied in my legs from running and rendered my arms pathetic and stick-like, so why exactly my punch had any sort of effect at all was a complete mystery. I blinked a few times in my perplexity and decided for the soul reason of filling this awkwardness to question, "Okay, so…anyone know what's happening here? This is kinda new…and gross…for me…"

"Nuh-uh," came the consensus.

"'Kay, just checkin'."

But at the sound of our voices, Metamormon's head snapped up and ogled at us with a twisted expression that I had prior anticipated. Yeah. Definitely something out of Mirai Nikki… I shuddered at its eyes that I hated to recognize as mirroring mine. It's brown, green-flecked eyes were bent into an expression I couldn't call one I possessed; I thought they were going to roll back into their sockets. Either that, or pop right out of them. And I really didn't feel like seeing either one of those take place.

But then I saw its chest, the place where I had connected with my fist. The Data making up its body was distorted and ripping apart, creating quite literally a hole where a sternum should've been located. I caught ear of Takuya suddenly let out a slight gasp and say, "Wait, Metamormon's one weak spot was its chest. You hit its weak spot." Yay for accidentally causing a lot of damage!

Blinding light began to palpitate from Metamormon's form and with each flash, the Digimon transformed into something entirely different. It was like watching crappy animators try to make a sequence of something Digivolving by just using images thrown together with Windows Movie Maker; just as annoying as it was dysfunctional. Most of the time it was almost impossible to determine if what it was transforming into was even a Digimon, as one form only lasted a split-second before going on to the next.

But then it suddenly stopped. Stopped when what Metamormon transformed into was none other than a little bug.

A strong, thick silence came over all of us humans as we leaned in to get a look at it as it puttered around in a confused manner around in a little circle. "It looks pretty helpless right now," Zoe stated, as if that made a difference when noting the fact that it had taken on much more threatening forms, tried to kidnap me, and tried to kill all of the Warriors, all without a second thought. Yeah, not exactly the dude that we should put our sympathy on.

Mirai walked closer to the little bug and crossed her arms while Koichi began to voice an inquiry, looking for insight from his friends, "Okay, now that its like this, what are we gonna do with—?" *SPLAT!* "—Never mind."

The Warrior of Darkness, along with the other Warriors, gave Mirai various looks at the fact she had just squashed Metamormon under her shoe. I felt the corner of my lip tug downward and my eyebrows twist, one of which was currently twitching. The Warrior of Time just merely stood there, arms still crossed, with an unimpressed look on her face. Clearly she thought that this solution was rather simple and should've been a no-brainer to the rest of us.

"Sooo…" JP decided to be the one to pull us out of that awkward soundlessness. "…seriously, is that it?" He gave me a look for this current development's lack of creativity, as if it was somehow all my fault, even though I was standing right there and had no current power over the fanfic.

Shrugging, I looked at Takuya, who was just staring down at Mirai's shoe like he was expecting more to happen. With the sound that thing made when it was totally crushed, I don't think it's coming back to life any time soon… "Not sure, JP," I responded with a bit of a sigh. "After all, I didn't actually write this…" Throwing my arms back behind my head, I thought of how to go on. Instead, my thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound of my stomach begging to be fed. "Hey, guys, we don't happen to have any more food, would we?"

They all took the distinct time to groan as I merely could give a cheesy grin in silent reply.

But as it turned out, back at the camp, they did have more food. I promised myself I was never going to forget of the glory of anime food, but for the sake of preserving the good memory, decided to ignore the expressions given to me as I ate pretty much the Warriors' entire supply. If I could've thought of anything to compare my rate of metabolism to, I would've, but I couldn't, so I just resorted to telling them I really enjoyed indulging in food.

If it were because they were holding in their irritation from me and my constant hunger or because they hadn't quite recovered from the rather deranged experience with Metamormon, I didn't know, but they were almost completely silent. A few times, when I bothered looking up from my food, I saw some of their eyes shift between me and the bug guts on Mirai's shoe. I had to admit it; that definitely was a new way to kill an enemy Digimon.

In the midst of this actually pretty soothing silence, Bokomon decided to get us back on track from where we left off before all of this crap began to take place. "My dear girl—" Why does he call everyone his dear? "—I believe you were in the middle of reading that intriguing text when that buffoon rudely decided to interrupt." Well, that certainly is one way of putting it. I'd just say I was in the middle of reading. That's it. I personally wouldn't use the word buffoon.

As he removed the book from his pretty pink skirt (DFAbridged, FTW!) I leaned over to Takuya and whispered to him hoarsely, "Watch for paper cuts!"

He snickered.

Mirai smacked him for laughing at something so inapt.

Bokomon handed me the book once again and I paged through until I found the one with the English text. I sat up straight, cleared my throat, and adjusted my invisible glasses. Everyone gave me a are-you-stupid look; I got on with it before they decided to leave me out in the middle of the woods somewhere. "The creation that agrees with the creator none be quelled. Forge a truce to put to rest all divergences and transform the bond once a battle against love and hate…" I looked up. "Uh…what the hell is this?"

"You mentioned before that Mirai was your own character," Koji began, casting a look from the said girl and then over to me. "So it's probably something to do with how even though you made her, she has zero respect for you." I saw a slightly mocking smile tug at the corner of his lips. He was such a pretty little lone wolf…

Koichi continued in his brother's place, no sort of ridicule in his face or tone, "I think you have to become friends or something." He looked over to his twin and they shared a smile, since apparently they just sort of completed each other's thoughts. Special twin link-power-thingy…

The look that Mirai gave me as soon as she heard the Warrior of Darkness's words was unmatched by any that she'd ever given me prior. I thought a part inside her probably broke. Or died. It didn't help that when we just sat there staring at each other, Takuya decided to start to chant, "Hug. Hug. Hug. Hug…"

She turned and looked pretty close to smacking him, but just glared at him. So I decided to make matters worse for my punching bag OC by standing up, outspreading my arms slightly, and saying with a smirk, "C'mon, I know you want a hug, girly."

A glower was sent my way, along with what seemed to be a death threat. "If you call me that again, I will ring your neck." And when she was distracted with threatening me, Takuya got the others to start chanting somehow too (aside from Koji. Chanting isn't his thing). She frowned as she knew she was going to submit to the chant's command, no matter how much she hated what she was about to do. "Damn peer pressure…"

I chortled at this, and walked up to her. She tried to wipe off the redness that was now starting to take over her face, but there was no hiding that she was really, really embarrassed inside. I didn't even bother letting her collect herself before I threw my arms around her, grinning, and utterly crushed her in an embrace, of which caused a bunch of yay's to echo around us from the Warriors. They were really having too much fun with this, but I digress. I was, too.

A good ten seconds passed and instead of saying something like 'let go. Moment's over,' like she usually did, she just pushed me away, her face burning with sheer discomfiture. She crossed her arms and dared not look at me. I, on the other hand, had a dominant smirk on my face.

"You know you enjoyed it," I said a little mockingly. "And I know you're gonna have a long talk with Koji about it later. You always tell him everything that means a lot to you." The hard stare she gave me in response to this made me laugh. "Oh God, I love you, Mirai. You're so fun." To mess with, my mind added. But then I did a double-take. "But wait, if that's all I had to do was settle differences with Mirai, then why aren't I…you know, leaving? Not that I want to leave—the Digital World is awesome, but you'd think that once my job is done, I'd be sent back home."

The Warriors exchanged glances at this. The mood of the camp had suddenly taken a turn. "Maybe the book says more about this," Zoe suggested, earning half-nods of agreement from the others for her idea.

I glanced at the page again and was totally caught off-guard at what I saw written in tiny writing at the very bottom. "Wait, there's more waaay down there…" I had to squint to just make out the words written. "Ha ha, psyche. It was nice seeing you hug Mirai, though. Har har har." I narrowed my eyes and groaned. This book really had some sense of humor. "Actually, you have arrived here to settle fangirlisms that have created romance discrepancies in your fanfic. So get your head off Takuya and get back to Mirkou. Have one moment with the gogglehead and get it over with."

I thought for sure I was going to cry. "Kyaaa~! Taku, did you hear that?!" Before now, I had never known I could get my voice up to that pitch. But hey, it was worth killing my vocal cords. After all, I was one nutty otaku. An otaku that never once considered consequences.

However, I didn't really know how to interpret the expression he made at that moment. Not only because of what the text had said, but also because this meant that he was chiefly the root of the problem that started this whole thing. His eyes grew wide and his face set aglow like a Christmas light. Poor 'lil dude was like a deer in the headlights, but hey, the words in that book were like law in the Digital World as far as its inhabitants were concerned, right?

JP snickered. "C'mon, Taky. Time to meet your maker." If that was the Warrior of Thunder's seductive voice, he did a pretty good job with it because I suddenly felt both very violated and like Bokomon's book was trying to mock me for my obvious fangirlisms. But I refused to be mocked in such a way; I wasn't one that went around accepting such a retort—I was far too proud for that.

"Like I said before," I objected curtly, the tone that came out of my mouth not only surprising the Warriors but also myself, "I'm only the maker of Mirai. No one else—I just twisted the rest of you into messes that only vaguely resemble who you once were!" A grin a little less than conspicuously came onto my face, but then dropped back off when their expressions were all just short of amused. "But maybe I should've twisted you into a bit more happier bunch…"

Mirai shoved the gogglehead towards me, her face plain as she stated easily, "Yeah, so get it over with, Taky, so she can go home and leave us in peace."

I crossed my arms and frowned at my highly-sarcastic OC. "Ouch, that is harsh." But before a further retort could be made between us, that unlucky Warrior of Flame stumbled forward, having lost his balance by conveniently tripping over something as was common in the Digimon series, and instead of stepping away like an intelligent human being, I yelped really loudly and just threw my arms over my head to protect it. That… pretty much…did nothing.

Except get me on the ground sorta winded and in a rather awkward position.

Was up close and personal the way to describe it?

"Is this…" Takuya paused to give me this awkward smile. He was so so so good at that, "...what you were hopin' for?"

Externally, I smiled awkwardly. Internally, systems were failing. The thing that I emphasized with him in my fanfic was his flirtiness, and his blunt words just now suddenly made that very evident. I had never known that his level of charm was this substantial, but now I was fully aware as I started heating up like a tea kettle beginning to whistle. My voice began to cackle something awkward-sounding before I realized I had even opened my mouth, "Oh yes, this is it! Das gut!" I ignored my own lack of German grammar, as a little fact suddenly dawned on me. "But why isn't anything happening? In most animes, this is considered a total fluff moment."

A long pause ensued when Takuya got the idea that this was not going to work and removed himself from on top of me, so we both sat up and I just crossed my arms, trying to think of the best possible way to go about determining where all of this just went wrong. I'd seen so many animes where someone just trips into someone and that alone was enough fluff to make many a fangirl squeal, so what was going on here? How was my thinking off here?

"But this isn't an anime, remember. This is your fanfiction." Koji's voice came out so suddenly I almost yelped. My head automatically turned to look at him at the sound of his ever-collected voice. He stood above me, only watching me from the corner of his gaze. "What do you consider a moment?" Wow, you're one to ask that, Mr. Minamoto. You're the very pineapple—er, pinnacle of the romance that I write about. After all, you're a total bishie.

To say that the thoughts his question induced were a little arousing was a total understatement, but I tried to hide that immediate outward reaction by making a pop! noise with my lips and answering, "Well, it's sorta…actual romance…stuff." When the r-word came out, I didn't dare look at one certain Warrior of Wind's face. After all, her thing for Takuya was a little more than obvious, so there might be a little death note burning in her gaze.

The moment got a little awkward at that point. How quiet it became didn't seem like it'd be too good at this point, because that usually meant the Warriors were thinking and even when I'm outside the screen of my laptop, I sometimes get a little scared. I quickly began to realize that I really shouldn't have made these guys that devious; they could kill a man and run ramped while laughing maniacally. And that thought was completely horrifying.

"You could just write something." Koichi's voice cut through the silence like a blade, his angelic innocence shining through his tone. Everyone turned to look at him at this and a little blush from the sudden attention appeared. The cutie. "I mean…it just seems like neither one of you are exactly…eager… and it seems like the only thing that'll set things straight. Even though you seem to enjoy it here, it's not your home." He tilted his head ever-so slightly. "Aren't you homesick?"

I bit the tip of my finger as I contemplated. "Well, actually, I've been a little too busy to be homesick! Hahaha!" But I couldn't pull my mind from his prior words. Despite how much I loved these guys, he was right. I didn't belong here; instead of hanging with the Frontier gang, as much as I wanted to stay, I was supposed to be writing about them. God, my reality sucks in comparison to this one… "But…" I looked down at the soft, moist dirt. It was so easy, yet so hard. But it was also something I had to do. "All right…" My fingers pressed into the dirt and moved about, scripting in the eloquence that I refused to write without.

Things went ever-so quickly. It felt like a split-second between the moment the letters I had impressed took effect with its blue-light-thingy and that Takuya lurched forward, outlined in the blue light, in order to connect lips with me. By the look on his face, clearly he wasn't the one in charge of his own body. Although, judging by how the muscles in my face were contorting, even though I had written the words I was definitely not prepared. Thus ensued an awkward moment where we just sort of sat there…lips locked…staring at each other in—what was that expression? Fright? Terror? Trauma?

But I had to admit that even though this really wasn't of his doing, he was one of the unsurpassed kissers I'd ever met. I had this policy in the real world that the only thing I allowed to touch my lips was my food, but hey, he could pretend to be food any day of the week. …Okay, so I'm a little bit of a perv…

The exact moment the light disappeared that was controlling him, I thought he was going to shoot back, his face a shade of red so dark it was borderline purplish black, but instead, he seemed to go in slow motion. This confused me and I let my face show it, so after a moment, he responded to my expression with, his tone almost seeming actually a bit collected, putting aside the subtle amusement in it, "Your lips taste like meat apples."

It took me a moment, but then a smile appeared on my face and I began to laugh. It wasn't just a light chuckle; no, when I laughed, I laughed, tears and chest pain and lack of breath and all. "A-aw, man!" I blurted out in the midst of my laughter that was trying to cut me off, "I…I-I-I lov-ove you, man!" I swung my arm and gave him a hard, good-natured slap to the arm. "You-you're so silly!"

As he rubbed his arms where I whacked him and was about to respond, a bright light erupted between two trees. It started as a rectangular frame, but then filled in to seem like a screen. Or more precisely, a portal. Wait, so was it the kiss that did it or the whack on the arm?

"Yatta!" I jumped to my feet, throwing up my fists in celebration. "We did it, Taku! Not sure how, but we did!" I grinned and walked toward it. "I had a really awesome time with you guys! I-I—there's just no words to describe this! All of my fangirl friends will be sooo jealous!" I snickered, but then suddenly remembered something, so changed my expression to seem like I wasn't up to something, which we all know is a lie. "Oh, Zoe, I was going to tell you something. Come hither."

She openly gave me a skeptical look, but still complied. Her mouth opened, probably to question what the hell I was doing, but I was quick to scoot over to her ear with my hand cupped around my mouth. My voice came out as a devious little whisper, "Just so you know, Taku is a great kisser. Better get practicing, girl! Hee hee hee!" When we exchanged looks, me with a smirk, her with a scowl, I thought she was about to smack me. I would've probably smacked me too…

Her face turned bright red and just screamed bloody murder as she noted defiantly, "You be quiet, Kimi! I'll knock the muse right out of your head!" She turned her back toward me and crossed her arms. But after a moment, her head peered slightly back so I could see one emerald-hued iris looking at me. "However…" Her head lowered slightly and her voice grew quieter, confirming to me that she stumbled across something. "There must be a reason you say that…"

"No spoilers," I retorted cheekily back, sticking out my tongue. Under the visage, though, I knew she was an intelligent girl that probably was now aware of what I was implying. "Well, I guess my work here is done. It was awesome officially meeting all you guys, especially you, Mirai—" The dark-haired girl merely scowled at me. "—and I'll be sure to never write anything like what happened here in the past…oh, I don't know, two hours or so? I've learned what it's like to hang with the Frontier gang, and that's something that I'll keep in mind when I'm deciding what crap to put you guys through next."

Mirai narrowed her eyes. "Just get in the damn portal."

A smile appeared on my face at her words. Even though she just swore a bit, it was still nice to hear my own OC's voice. "Whatever you say, Mi-chan." I looked at each of the Warriors, one-by-one to exchange silent farewells, and for a second, I thought I just might cry. But fear not, I did no such thing, at least not externally. "Hai, hai! Off I go, then! It's been fun getting you guys into all sorts of crap today!" My fingers touched the portal and sunk through. I looked back at them and grinned. "Sayonara! Think of me next time you find a plot hole! You could make it a drinking game! Every time you find a dumb error, take a shot!"

Laughing, I walked through and in what felt like a blink of an eye, light burst all around me. The world around me came into focus, trees and fields on every side of me and the beat up, back road under my feet. It took a moment to collect my bearings; it was so quick that what just was around me just changed into the Wisconsin farmland that I almost wondered if I had just happened to zone out and imagined the entire thing. I was standing right where I thought I had fallen. Strange…

I took in the smells of the land where I'd grown up, feeling the cool breeze flow around me. It was exactly the same as it was when I was on my run—I would've assumed that if I was truly gone, it would've been dark out from daylight savings already.

Bleep bleep!

The sound of my training watch beeping pulled me out of my thoughts, signaling that a new hour had struck. I looked down at it and my eyes widened at what I noticed. I had my stopwatch going to time my workout… And now here it was, still running, the time listed and still increasing. I quick stopped it and looked at the number. 2:53:32.97…

"…I'll be sure to never write anything like what happened here in the past…oh, I don't know, two hours or so?" The thought made me smile and I mumbled, "The past two hours…" Deciding to keep my watch how it was, I made sure not to clear the time recorded, and began running for home. Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Faster, faster.

I had to get home. After all, the Frontier gang was beckoning me to go write, and I needed to see them again.

---

A/N: And there you have it! A wacky 3rd anniversary one-shot with a happy ending! For all of you that have stuck around and read Wherever You Will Go for the past three years, thank you so much and this piece of crap is dedicated to you! But hey, if it weren't for you, these three years wouldn't have been possible, and for that, I give endless thanks! Hugs and kisses to all my supporters! I love you all!

Sincerely,

.Kimiko Heroux.