The Song of that Sword

Author's Notes: Instead of going with something weepy and dramatic, I decided to make this a humor story.

Sorry if this is enitrely messed up -- yet again, I have another cold. I feel as if I've been roasted by a bunch of cannibalistic Dwarves, then cast aside because I was too tough, then trampled by a ton of cave trolls.
So point out whatever is wrong or misspelled and I'll try to fix it.

This is for you, Kailie.

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own anything -- Tolkien does. So I'm not getting paid...no need to bring the lawsuits...

o-o-o-o-o

"ELROHIR!"

The ear piercing shout of a six-year-old rang in Elrohir's ears. It was hardly morning, and the aforementioned child bounced on Elrohir's bed, as the Elf hid his head under his pillow groaning.

"What is it, Estel? It's not even light outside. Go back to sleep."

Estel, on the other hand, had to disagree. This was the day his brothers had promised they would teach him how to use a sword, even if it was only his wooden one. Ever since he had grabbed hold of a pair of shears when he was five, and given himself a 'haircut', Elrond had a fear of sharp objects mixed with a certain child. The haircut turned out to be some kind of Middle-earthy moehawk, which all had to be cut down, resulting in a nearly hairless Estel. And there was also the fact he didn't want Estel to accidentally injure himself, or another.

"BUT ELROHIR!"

"I will drag myself out of bed after the Sun makes an appearance."

The seven-year-old put a scowl on his face. "Fine, Elrohir. Since you won't get up, and do what you promised, I will tell Ada about the incident with the..."

Before Estel could finish what he was saying, a hand was put over his mouth. "Blackmail! And who taught you this? And how do you know about that?"

The young mortal pried Elrohir's hand away. "Well, did you even think that you could get away with that? It was so poorly planned -- really, Elrohir. I thought you could do better."

Elrohir growled and threw back the sheets. "Fine! I am awake! Are you satisfied? And if you ever mention that to Adar... You won't ever know what hit you." Complaining under his breath, he shoved his younger brother out of the bedroom so he could change into his normal clothes.

Oh, sure I won't know what hit me. If something like that ever happened, Ada would get mad. Very mad. Especially after I told him.

Swinging his wooden sword around in the halls in a make-believe battle with a handful of mindless orcs, Estel was nearly victorious when Elrohir came out of his bedchambers.

"DIE YOU FILTHY SPAWN OF MORDOR!"

Taking his 'sword' away as to avoid any imminent injuries, Elrohir nudged him towards Elladan's room. "You get to wake him up, little one. Good luck with that, he is even harder than I." Estel grinned in an onery way, and bounded off into Elladan's room, repeating the same thing he had done to Elrohir. In a matter of moments, Elladan was awake, rubbing his eyes wearily.

"He got you first this time, eh?"

"Yes, obviously. Is there even any sunlight out yet?"

"A little. But it is still too early."

"Elladan! Elrohir! Let's go! Hurry it up! You promised!" Estel excalimed as he tugged on the twins' sleeves. "You promised!"

Elladan yaned and looked down at the boy. "I know, I know. But I refuse to do anything until I have eaten something."

"Oh, fine. Let's go!"

"Estel, quiet down. Some people are still trying to sleep around here. Unlike myself."

"Stop whining, 'Ro. You're worse than Lindir."

"Estel, please. My name is Elrohir."

"So?"

"Can we please get some food?"

"Elladan, all you think about is food."

"No it isn't!"

"Yes, it is."

"COME ON! I WANT TO LEARN TO USE MY SWORD!"

"Estel, be quiet!"

"What is going on here?"

"Oh...good morning, Ada." Estel said with a nervous laugh. "Nothing, really. We were just..."

"Going to get breakfast."

"No we weren't!"

"Yes, we were."

"Silence!" Elrond bellowed as quietly as possible. "The day has hardly begun and you have already started your fighting. Now what are you wanting to do, Estel? And Elrohir, why are you swinging that wooden sword around like a flag? You could hurt someone."

Estel plastered on a innocent face, while looking up at Elrond with those big, grey eyes. "See, Ada, all I wanted to do is learn how to use my sword. But they won't teach me."

Elrohir gasped. "That is not true! We are going to teach you! But you're a bit impatient."

"A bit?" Elladan muttered.

Blinking a few times, Elrond looked blankly at his sons. "So you have to wake half of the household up at an unearthly hour? Just because of this?"

"I was not the one shouting at the top of my lungs that the filthy spawns of Mordor should die." muttered the oldest son of Elrond. "Nor was I the one bouncing around before dawn that we should wake up or be blackmailed for..."

Giving a worried glance to his brother, Elrohir kicked his shin with a smile.

Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking, Elladan! If you don't quit, it will be who knows how long until we are shipped off to some realm and scrub cellars for a living.

Elladan took the hint and stopped speaking, but maybe at a time too late.

"Blackmailed for what?"

The twins exchanged nervous glances. "Nothing, Adar!"

"Huh?" Estel questioned. "I told you if you didn't wake up I'd tell Ada that you were the ones who slipped a sleeping draught in Gandalf's wine for no apparent reason." He paused for a moment. "Couldn't you have thought of something more imaginative? That is the most overused prank out there."

Elladan and Elrohir groaned as Elrond glared at them sternly. "So you were the ones who did so? I should have known. I hope you don't get too exausted after teaching Estel to use his wooden sword, for you get to repair the stable roof. I hear it's been leaking. You two are handy at fixing things. As well as breaking them."

Elrond walked off towards his bedchambers, muttering under his breath the whole way.

"So, let's go get breakfast!" Estel said cheerfully. He skipped off to the kitchen, signing the whole way about a sword, a few orcs, and how they all dropped to the ground dead.

I am going to make this day a living nightmare for him. I told him to say anything...

o-o-o-o-o

Once Elladan had finally gotten his breakfast, the three were off to the practice fields. Estel was as happy as could be. Oh, but the twins were not.

"Alright, Estel." Elladan barked. "Since we have a lot of work to do today -- unlike you -- we're going to teach you a few basic things. First, we'll start on why you use a sword."

Then Glorfindel can take over tomorrow, while we are in some far off country...

"Right." Elrohir continued. "You use it in self-defense, not to go attacking someone for no good reason. Unless there is a good reason, then you can go attack them."

Estel sat on the ground, toying with the grass. He wished he was at some magnificent battle, ridding Middle-earth of all its perils, instead of with Elladan and Elrohir, who showed they could be incredibly dull.

"Estel!" Elrohir said sternly. "Are you even paying attention?"

"No."

Paitence is running thin...

"I just want to fight, fight, fight! AND YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD! NOT SOMETHING ON WHY TO FIGHT!"

The twins covered their ears at his shout. Could this child get any louder? Aparently so.

"I AM GOING TO TELL ADA!"

Elladan and Elrohir grinned at each other with a mischeivous glint in their eyes.

"Oh, little one, we can prevent that."

o-o-o-o-o

Elrond sat in his dismal study, going through that pile of documents that always seemed to be there. There had been a lot of noise coming from out doors, but it had quieted down after a bit. The half-Elf just hoped that it wasn't Estel getting injured. But the child had no sharp objects with him, so he couldn't have accidentally hacked one of his own limbs or apendagies off. Nonetheless, he tensed and waited for the twins to carry a battered up Estel through the door at any moment.

But that never happened.

Now all he heard was the the twins arguing on how to fix a leak the best way. He heard many pointless things, from putting one of Erestor's robes over the hole to stuffing it with some rock hard bread that was under Elladan's bed. In the end, they decided to look for a spare piece of wood to nail on there.

Shaking his head, Elrond went back to trying to examine the handwriting on the parchment.

Oh, never mind. That is Glorfindel's. He was never much of a caligrapher.

Throwing it aside so he could translate it later, Elrond decided to see where Estel had gotten himself off to. The young mortal had yet to return indoors and tell Elrond how his sword lessons went.

Now he started to panic. Estel was nowhere in sight, and according to a handful of Elves they had not seen him.

"ESTEL!"

Elrohir peeked his head around the corner with a bunch of sawdust stuck in his hair. "Oh, you're looking for Estel, Ada?"

"Yes! Now where is he?"

"He needed a bit of a lesson. So he's in the courtyard, listening to one of Erestor's heroic and important tales."

o-o-o-o-o

Estel sat tied to a bench, watching Erestor with growing boredom.

"...And that is how I saved Glorfindel from certain death. You see, if I wouldn't have intervined, then he may be in Lothlorien getting mental councilling from Lady Galadriel. Although you have most likely heard your adar say how she can drive one insane, not the other way around."

Elladan grinned and watched the two from the nearby stable roof. "And he thought I was boring. Oh, how the tables have turned."

Erestor snapped his fingers. "Estel! Are you paying attention?"

"No."

"Well, you better listen! I am telling a very important and heroic tale!"

"Erestor, even I could save Glorfindel from Elrohir's cat. Come on, Erestor! You're worse at telling stories than Glorfy!"

The advisor narrowed his eyes. "Oh, really?" He reached over and tightened up the few belts that kept him stuck to the bench. "Have a nice afternoon!"

Estel's eyes widened in shock. "You're not going to leave me here, are you?"

Erestor raised an eyebrow. "...No, I promise you I will tell you another story."

"I don't have my sword! How can I survive one of your stories without my sword? ELLADAN! YOU'RE LEAVING ME OUT HERE TO DIE!"

The End.

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A/N: Eh heh. I don't like this as much. Oh well, tell me how horrid it is. Really. Then I'll rewrite it when I don't feel like Goblin-feed.