A/N: So I've been thinking about this story for a while now, but wasn't really sure exactly how to write it. I've tweaked my main character a lot (based on the gorgeous Tatiana Maslany from Orphan Black), and I hope you guys like her and the story. Please review with suggestions or comments. My spelling has never been the best…Enjoy!

Bare My Skin

Ch. 1 – This Is Now

You know that feeling when you're doing something you shouldn't be, but you can't get out of it, and you're just kind of stuck with whatever happens? That's how I was feeling as I tried to blend in with the small crowd at Durbrowski's Funeral Home. Charles (my pseudo uncle twice removed) woke me up at seven and dragged me here. To say I went to Dr. Tara Knowles-Teller's funeral under duress, was the understatement of the year.

The main issue with it was that I'd had sex with her husband. I wish I could say that I didn't know he was married, or even that I was completely obliterated when it happened, but that's not the case. Sure we'd both been wasted a couple of times we'd hooked up, but this whole thing screwed up thing had been going on for months.

Charles had promised he would have work for me if I came to this thing as his date. Even after pointing out multiple times people didn't need a plus one at funerals, and that it would make things even more awkward, his position didn't budge. We had a semi-close relationship since I'd moved back to Stockton, but that didn't mean he still wasn't shady as fuck on certain occasions.

However, he was the closest family my son and I had here, and I obviously wasn't in a place to judge him. So needing whatever shady business he would throw my way I'd gotten dressed in record time.

Helping out over at Collette's I'd overheard Jax would be in county for the rest of week. There wouldn't have been any amount of money or pleading in the world that would have gotten me there if he would have been here too. Walking over to one of the stands holding a large collage of pictures of Tara, Jax, and their kids, I couldn't help a sad smile from forming on my lips. They all looked so happy, even the baby. The Teller's appeared to have been the perfect little family.

My favorite one must have been taken a little while after their second son was born. Jax was holding him close, while the older boy sat on his mother's lap. The couple's faces were turned towards one another, whispering about something. It seemed like they'd forgotten someone was taking a picture at all.

It tore at my heart a little, as I thought about who could kill someone as innocent as Jax's wife? A kids surgeon, and a mother of two…The worst part was the way they did it. Charles, the over-sharer, had described bits and pieces of the story he had picked up on the street. The few details he'd told me were enough to make my stomach turn.

I'm not sure if it was the California heat or my guilt, but the temperature in the room seemed like it had risen. Stepping away from the pictures I looked around for a sign indicating the woman's room. Being there was feeling less and less like a good idea.

Spotting the restroom sign across the room I started to make my way over there. Halfway to my destination I happened to glance into the casket room. Standing on the steps beside it was a little boy. He seemed to be pushing at the lid with all his might. Although I was pretty sure he could never get the top off, it didn't seem right to just walk away.

"Hey buddy," I said lightly, not wanting to scare him. "Whatcha doing?" He turned to face me with biggest, saddest, blue eyes I'd ever seen.

"My mom's in here," he spoke so softly I almost couldn't hear him, and looked down at the floor the whole time. From the pictures outside I could tell that it was Jax's older son. He already looked so much different than in the photo s I'd seen outside. Lonely and defeated was not the look you wanted to see on a a five year old.

"And you want to be able to see her," I said, already knowing the answer. Abel just nodded.

This little boy couldn't be any older than five, so I doubted anyone had explained what actually happened to his mom. From what my uncle said the casket was closed for a reason, what was inside it wasn't a very pretty sight.

"Is it ok if I sit next to you hunny," I asked, sliding onto the step meant for prayer. For a second I was silent, trying to think of something that might comfort him. "My mom died when I was little too. She was really sweet, and kind, and funny…just like your mom was." This got his attention.

"You knew my mommy," he asked stepping a little closer.

"I only met her one time at the hospital, but she fixed me when I was sick." I left out my reasons for being in the St. Thomas E.R., and all of other details that should be edited out for his ears.

"She made you better," I nodded. He looked away for a second before turning back to me. "She always made me feel better, Tommy and daddy too." My heart was breaking for him. I'd been through this before, at nine, and couldn't imagine having to handle it any younger than that.

"It sounds to me like your mommy was an angel, like mine was." This got a bit of a smile from him.

"My grandma says she's up in heaven," he sat down next to me, "but that I won't be able to see her again for a long time."

"Is that why you were trying to open this thing, so you could talk to her again?" Abel stayed silent. "That's not a bad thing you know. I felt like that too. My grandma told me to write a letter for my mom, after she died." He seemed surprised, but I had his full attention. "I told her everything I wanted to say to her, how much I loved her, and missed her, and how good of a mom she was. You probably can't write yet?"

"Only some words," he looked down a little sad. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"That's ok, you could draw her a picture, or have someone else write it for you? Whatever makes you feel"

"Who the hell are you?" Looking up I saw a fierce looking older woman. She was standing in the doorway with her hand on her hip, looking furious. "Abel baby, come here." He stood slowly and cast a glance at me before walking over to her. The woman spoke to a younger guy behind her, and he took Abel's hand and walked away with him.

"I'm sorry about that," I said standing, "he was in here alone and I just thought that" Whatever I was planning on saying flew from my head as a tall, imposing figure that I knew too well, moved behind the woman. Although she had probably wanted to rip me a new asshole, I'd have taken that over even the look on his face any day.

"Mom can you give us a minuet." He spoke not as a question, but an order. She looked surprised to see him there, and then looked back and forth quickly between the both of us. His blue eyes murderous, and never leaving mine.

"Yea baby, let me know if you need me," she walked out with one last glance between the two of us.

Jax slid the partition doors closed without missing a beat. For the second he wasn't turned towards me I tried to figure out how the fuck I would talk my way out of this, but my mind went blank.

"What the fuck are you doing here Mina?" This was not how I had pictured the next time we saw each other going, not that I would ever admit to picturing it at all.

The last time we'd been together was about a week before his wife died. We hooked up like normal, dirty, explosive, and amazing, but then he told me that "this had to end". He wanted to work things out in his marriage, and fix things at home. Jax went on to convey that whatever "this" was wasn't helping. Although I'd been a little surprised, I hadn't expected anything to come of our encounters other than sex. My heart wasn't broken about it or anything, I was just surprised.

"I'm sorry Jax. I saw him in here alone and he looked like he needed someone to"

"My son doesn't need anything from you Mina! What he needs is for the trash and the bad shit to stay the fuck away from him! He's been through enough." Jax Teller was looking at me like I was the nastiest piece of dog shit he'd ever stepped in.

"Jax I came here with someone. I wasn't looking to see you, Collette said you were locked up and I didn't mean to end up talking to Abel it just" This enraged him more.

"You're nothing Mina, get that through your thick fucking head right the fuck now! You and Collette and all the other whores are nothing compared to the woman my wife was! You being here is disrespectful to Tara, to my kids, and to me!" He was shouting at me now, and however thick the doors were I knew they couldn't hold the volume of his voice.

"You know that I would never" I tried to get words in edgewise but he wasn't having it. It stung for him to call me a whore, and compare me to girls at the whorehouse, but in some way I deserved this.

"Whatever happened between us meant nothing. If I catch you around my family again so help me fucking God I will" he yelled, stepping up into my personal space. For the first time since me meeting Jackson Teller I was actually afraid of him.

"I didn't come here to stake a claim on your family," I yelled trying to shut him up, "or whatever insane bullshit you think seem to think I'm up to! I think you at least know me that well Jax."

"I know you're a crazy fucking bitch Mina. You said it yourself… I don't know what the fuck you were thinking coming here, but you have 30 seconds to get the fuck out," he spat. Now I was pissed.

You said it yourself. I heard the words but I couldn't believe that he was throwing that conversation back at me. In a post sex bliss I had opened up to him just the tiniest bit, which had obviously been a mistake. I'd told him how sometimes I felt like a crazy person. Like I was going around doing everything I could for no reason, because no matter what I did to make my life better, my action always seemed to throw me a million steps back. Sometimes giving up seemed so much easier then what my life had become.

"Fuck you Jax," I said with as much venom as I could muster.

Walking to the doors and pulling them open I'd been a little surprised to find not only Charles, but Jax's mom, and a few other funeral patrons quickly stepping back from the door.

"I told you a plus one was a bad idea," I said to my uncle.

"Don't blame this on me kid," he said shaking his head as everyone tried to piece together what the fuck was going on.

"I'll meet you in the car," I said lamely.

Jax start talking to him as I walked away, but I didn't look back. Charles Barosky had wanted me here so bad, he could fend for himself with that asshole for all I cared.