Awkward
Lazard reflects on how awkward it is working with his father and half-brother.
Hi again. I have been plotting out longer fics with Lazard, but something struck me today. He works around his father and half-brother knowing who they are, but they most likely have no idea who he is to them, so that inspired me. This is probably way before Crisis Core.
When he joined Shinra Electric Power Company, Lazard Deusericus had no idea how awkward things could be. His discomfort had nothing to do with becoming director of SOLDIER despite his lack of battle experience. What made him feel, at times, incredibly uncomfortable, was the fact that his mother had let him in on a secret. As she had tried to talk him out of working for Shinra, she let it slip that his father was none other than the president of the company Lazard planned to work for.
President Shinra had no idea he fathered a child in the slums. That also meant that his beloved son Rufus also did not know he had a brother.
When he first met his father, Lazard was terrified. He felt so sure that the man would recognize him as soon as he looked at him. Oh, he knew better to expect a tearful reunion, or that his father would try to make up lost time to him.
What Lazard fully expected to happen had his father expected him, was a quick assassination. President Shinra seemed to go nowhere without that black haired Turk, who was probably a lot quicker than Lazard.
Instead, what happened was that the president hardly even looked at Lazard when he shook his hand. Lazard did not realize he had been holding his breath until he let out a shaky sigh. The black haired Turk gave him a look before following the president out of the room.
What left Lazard feeling more ill at ease was Rufus Shinra, his younger half-brother. Much to his surprise, he saw more of a resemblance of himself in Rufus than in their father. Arguably the worst moment of his career came in an elevator ride with Rufus, and just Rufus.
Coming that close to his brother startled Lazard. It gave him the chance to realize that his appearance was much closer to his brother's than to his father's. Observing Rufus out the corner of his eye, Lazard winced inwardly as he noticed how similar their facial structure was.
Rufus himself said and noticed nothing, until he stepped off the elevator several floors before Lazard. "Good luck with SOLDIER, you'll need it," Rufus called over his shoulder as the doors shut.
Lazard leaned against the wall with a sigh. For a moment, he shut his eyes and breathed deeply. Carrying a secret was more difficult than he had ever imagined. He expected people to know, to call him out for hiding something.
There were times when he himself wanted to scream it from the rooftop, if only to make the situation as miserable for everyone else as well as himself.
When it came to meetings involving other department heads and various important figures within the company, Lazard always found his stomach squirming. What terrified him the most was getting placed directly across from Rufus. He would act attentive, but his mind would be filled with various scenarios involving someone looking down the table and realizing just how alike the two men looked.
No one ever did.
Something else happened, though, during one of those meetings, that made Lazard feel uncomfortable. He happened to glance up at Rufus, and found himself fighting the urge not to smile as he noticed his younger sibling doodling on a bit of paper, oblivious to what was going on and yet at the same time giving the air that he just dared someone to point out that he was not paying attention.
His mouth opened slightly in surprise. He did not even know Rufus personally, and still felt a fondness for him, just as an older brother should. Lazard was the first to leave the room as the meeting was wrapped up.
But the most awkward thing came to Lazard as he was looking through some training information on the third class SOLDIERs. The most awkward part of the whole situation was that no one else seemed to notice a thing.