Title: Luck of The Draw
Author: Kookykrumbs
Rating: PG-13 (basically if you can watch the show, you can read this)
Spoilers: Seasons 1-4 (especially seasons 3 and 4)
Setting: Post BT, then AU
Disclaimer: Henson and Company own Farscape, I'm just borrowing their characters.
Summary: An unexpected visitor complicates the perfect life that John and Aeryn have made for themselves, forcing the couple to re-examine their relationship and to settle some neglected issues from their past.
Author's Notes: Some people may wonder why this story is a post-BT-AU as opposed tosimply being post-PKW. Well, my explanation is simple; I wanted the crew of Moya all alive and together for my story. I guess I'm asking the readers to pretend like PKW never happened while reading my story. This story's already finished, and I'll be posting the last half Sunday morning in the same thread.
Special thanks to Chaz for all her input and the hours she put in meticulously going over my story and making sure no silly mistakes make it through. I learned so much from her over the past month and a half.
Chapter 1
It was one of those rare mornings that John Crichton treasured so much. There was nothing on Moya that needed fixing, there were no errands to run, and best of all, there was no monster-of-the-week after him. It was just him, his wife and their three-cycle-old son enjoying each other's company.
"Aeryn, look, Jack built that tower with his blocks all by himself. It really looks like a castle and it's almost as tall as him!"
"Oh, no, you don't, John Crichton, you are not changing the subject! Besides, I know just how talented our baby is, and I'm not surprised in the least."
Before John could answer, little Jack chimed in.
"Ah not a baby, mommy!" This brought a laugh from both his parents.
"Silly mommy, huh, Jack? You're daddy's big boy, right?" John said to his son with a wink.
"Yup, ah am!" Little Jack replied enthusiastically, which brought out a wide smile from his mother, something his father lived for. As Jack turned back his full attention to his building blocks again, his mother did the same thing to his father.
"As I was saying, John, why was I a blonde princess?" Aeryn asked, playfully running her fingers through John's hair, a favorite pastime of hers. "I mean, the princess part I was actually kind of flattered about, but blonde?"
"Honey, I have no idea! It was Stark's game, remember?"
"Yes, John, but a large part of it was based on your neural template. Besides, from what I heard from Chiana, the princess was very much based on one of your Earth fairy tales."
"Baby, really, I have no idea why you were blonde in that silly game. I mean, it could have even been a glitch in the system or something."
"A glitch?" Aeryn asked skeptically, her eyebrow arching slightly. After a moment she spoke again, "John, would you prefer me as a blonde?" The fact that she stopped playing with his hair didn't go unnoticed by John.
"Aeryn, what would make you ask such a ridiculous question?" John asked, putting a little extra bit of incredulity in his voice.
"I don't know, it just seems that all your old girlfriends were blondes…"
"What, like Alex and Caroline? That's, like, two examples, Aeryn!"
"There was also Gilina…"
"Ok, ok, maybe as a young man I had a subconscious propensity for blondes, but that doesn't mean anything. Anyway, it's all a moot point as I only have eyes for you," John said, tenderly kissing Aeryn on the tip of her nose. His gesture made Aeryn smile a bit and he relaxed slightly.
"You'd better if you want to keep your mivonks intact." Aeryn's voice was serious, but the smile in her eyes betrayed it. "So, you still haven't answered my question, would I look more pleasing to you if I were blonde?"
"Absolutely not. First of all, I didn't fall in love with your looks, though I'll admit those didn't hurt. Second of all, I fell in love with who you were, not in spite of who you were."
"Good answer, John Crichton."
John never got a chance to say anything more because Aeryn leaned down and gave him a long, deep kiss. They were soon interrupted by little Jack, however.
"Daddy, come p'ay wif me!"
"In a microt, Jack. I'm still kissing mommy."
"But yer always kissing mommy!" Jack reasoned, sounding quite exasperated. This made John and Aeryn pause what they were doing and laugh wholeheartedly at little Jack's observation. It was, after all, true.
"Alright, I'm coming, Jack," John said, sliding out from under Aeryn. However, before John could pick up his first block, D'Argo's voice came through the comms.
"John, Aeryn, a wormhole just formed out of nowhere and a ship's just emerged from it!"
"Shit, I knew I felt something weird," John mumbled, having felt that niggling feeling right before a wormhole opened.
"D'Argo, what kind of ship is it?" Aeryn asked, ignoring John.
"Umm… well… it looks sort of like… the Farscape module."
XXXXXXX
The whole crew stood in Command just watching the tiny replica of John's Farscape module float outside the Leviathan. No one was sure exactly what to do.
"Look, daddy, it's yer mojule!" Jack pointed to the ship, wide-eyed.
"Yes, little one, it seems so," Jool, who was holding the little child, answered. Aeryn's eyes met Jool's, and that was all she needed to know that the little boy's mother wanted him elsewhere in case there was a possibility of danger.
"Hey, Jack, you want to help Aunt Jool with some work in her lab?" Jool asked, trying to entice the boy. Jack agreed enthusiastically, and Aeryn gave Jool an appreciative smile.
While Jool and Jack headed out, the rest of the crew looked on at the tiny ship outside. "I don't know what we're all waiting for, Pilot scanned the ship and it's not armed," Chiana said impatiently. "He also detected one life form inside that could be injured. Crichton, what if that ship's from Earth?"
"Don't be a fool, Chiana. We all know John closed that wormhole three cycles ago!" Rygel answered.
"I say we bring the ship in." John added, "There's no one but its pilot, and we more than outnumber him."
"It could be a trap," Aeryn said, taking John's hand in hers. It was her way of reminding him not to let his curiosity get the best of him.
"I know, hon. That's certainly a possibility, but my gut tells me it's not. The pilot hasn't answered and I'm betting he's hurt." Aeryn nodded, knowing John couldn't turn his back on someone in need. "Besides, I really am curious as to why this guy's got a ship exactly like mine," John added, looking at his wife sheepishly.
"I don't agree. Bringing strangers on board would more likely bring complications than anything else! I say we let that fahrbot pilot float out there, and we go about our business," Rygel complained. This brought out several glares from his shipmates. "Alright, we'll do it your way," Rygel acquiesced.
"Fine, we're in agreement then. Pilot, pull that ship into the docking bay!" D'Argo ordered.
XXXXXXX
Chiana, D'Argo and Aeryn stood behind John as he approached the ship that had just docked. Their weapons were at the ready, in case of any surprises. John made a full circle around the module, studying it. It was an exact carbon copy of his module, down to the IASA logo, though the ship in front of him did seem a little more battered.
He looked back at his friends as if to ask permission if he could open it. They in turn each gave him a simple nod. John could see his wife's nervousness, wanting to ease her mind, he gave her one of his boyish grins and a wink for good measure.
John then focused his attention on opening the module. He didn't realize until then just how much his heart rate had increased. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he was nervous. He took a deep breath, swallowed what nervousness he could, and opened the cockpit.
When he looked into the Farscape module, his heart stopped for a microt or two. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. For the unconscious pilot in the cockpit he came face to face with was none other than Aeryn Sun.
Chapter 2
"I've scanned her three times over. I don't know what else to tell you all, she is Aeryn." Jool said, with a hint of frustration.
For the past three arns, since the arrival of the visiting Aeryn, the crew of Moya had kept watch over her in the med bay. The questions had been adding up in the backs of their minds ever since. The only absent crew member was Chiana, who was looking after little Jack.
"So what's wrong with her, Jool?" John asked, unable to hide his worry for this woman who, for all intents and purposes, should be a stranger to him.
"She's dehydrated. I assume she's been in that module for several solar days, without food or water. My scans have also shown that she's suffering from a mild concussion, which probably explains her unconscious state."
John nodded at Jool's assessment. He was thankful that the Interion was once again part of Moya's crew. Her medical expertise and youthful insightfulness had been greatly missed during her absence. It was fortunate that she'd decided to leave with them a cycle ago when they had visited her on Arnessk. She had learned a lot during her time there, but it had been lonely, for there was no one there even remotely close to her age or background.
Speaking of age, John's thoughts turned to their old crew member, Noranti. During their trip to Arnessk, Noranti was fascinated that the resurrected priests on that planet were none other than the race of missing Eidelons that disappeared thousands of cycles ago. None of them understood the old woman's fascination with them. However, it was strong enough to make her stay. No one on Moya's crew really complained about her departure. Between her and Jool, they would rather have had Jool.
"Ahem, since Jool's established that we now have two Aeryns in our midst, what in Hezmana are we going to do about it!" Rygel said sarcastically.
Rygel was a lot of things, but he was never one to beat around the bush. Despite the annoyed glances the Hynerian received from everyone, it was an understatement that they had a problem on their hands. Not that the thought hadn't been floating around in everyone's minds, but Rygel has always had a way of fleshing out a situation and bringing it to the forefront of everyone's attention.
"There's very little we can do for the moment. Believe me, no one has more questions than I do, but I believe the only person who can answer them is her," Aeryn said, pointing to her 'twin', for lack of a better word.
"Since we know nothing about her, I don't want anyone visiting Aeryn's double unless they have someone with them. Also, when no one's here with her, I suggest we lock the med bay and post DRDs. She could be dangerous," D'Argo suggested.
"We're not going to lock her up like some criminal!" John said, unable to disguise his anger.
Aeryn seemed somewhat confused at her husband's sudden protectiveness over the stranger with her face.
"John, D'Argo has a point," Aeryn tried to explain to John gently. "We know nothing about her. I mean, if I were in her position seven cycles ago, I would have killed all of you without a second thought if I had felt threatened." Aeryn glanced away, face pinking with shame, but continued doggedly, "My point, John, is that Aeryn Sun in any incarnation is capable of things I'd rather not talk about. It's only sensible to be cautious in our dealings with her."
John was calmed by his wife's soothing tone and acknowledged the practicality of D'Argo's suggestions. Glancing again at the injured Aeryn, he acquiesced, "Fine, when coming here, we'll always have a bathroom buddy, and we'll have little security guards at the door. But we will not lock her in." John's voice left no room for argument.
After a moment of silence, Jool spoke up, "Aeryn's right, there's nothing more any of us can do. I have a tube inserted in her arm to re-hydrate her, and I'll be giving her doses of vitamin supplements every six arns to compensate for her lack of nourishment. There's nothing more that any of you can do here."
With that, everyone turned to go, John a little more reluctantly than everyone else.
XXXXXXX
John and Aeryn entered their quarters where Chiana and Jack had been playing for the past couple of arns. The trip had been made in silence, both having too much on their minds to be able yet to put any of their thoughts into words. This made Jack's exuberance all the more welcome in distracting them from their current predicament.
"Mommy, daddy, me an' Chiana made a Gam'ok Base wif my b'ocks!"
"Really? A Gammak Base, huh?" Aeryn gave Chiana a look that said, "Couldn't you have just stuck with the castles?" Chiana, being a kid herself in so many ways, just grinned back.
"So, old man, you always used to say that you could only handle one wife, what's it like having two?" Chiana teased.
As tactless as Chiana was on most days, she didn't miss how Aeryn winced at her words. Realizing that she may have crossed the line a bit, she quickly added, "Anyway, Jack and I already had lunch, and I bet he's ready for his nap, right, little Jack?" Chiana asked, turning to her little companion.
"Nope, ah not s'eepy!" Jack protested.
"Thanks a lot, Pip, we really appreciate you looking after him for a while." John picked Jack up from the floor and handed him to his mother.
"No problem."
Chiana had a lot of questions, just like the rest of the crew. However, she had enough sense to know it would probably be better to ask D'Argo. With that, she left the little family and headed out to find the others, and to get a closer look at their new visitor.
"Did you have fun with Aunt Chiana, Jack?" Aeryn asked her little boy.
"Yup, ah did! We p'ayed hide an' seek an' den we p'ayed wif my b'ocks an' we builded a…"
"… Gammak Base. Yes, so I've heard," Aeryn said, ruffling her son's hair.
"Daddy, Aunt Chi tode me dat der's two mojules now! Can ah hab one?" Jack asked shyly. As always, Jack never failed to make his parents laugh.
"Son, I think the other module belongs to our guest," John saw the look of disappointment on Jack's face and quickly added, "But I'll tell you what, when you're old enough, you can have my module."
"Mommy, daddy said ah can hab his mojule when ah'm growed up!" Jack exclaimed, thrilled with the revelation.
"Yes, and you know how much your father loves that piece of… I mean, that module of his." John didn't miss his wife almost calling his beloved ship a piece of dren, and made a wounded gesture with his hands over his heart. This brought a giggle from Aeryn.
"Well, before you go flying any ships, you need your nap first. C'mon, buddy." John took Jack from Aeryn and proceeded to tuck him into bed in the cell next to theirs.
When John returned, he found his wife sitting on the edge of their bed staring off into space. John had a bit of an idea what it was like to end up face to face with one's self. He guessed that he probably knew every thought that was swirling in Aeryn's mind at the moment.
"Penny for 'em."
"You know, I will never understand that human saying of yours," Aeryn answered dryly.
"You know what I mean," John said, putting his arm around Aeryn. "Tell me what's on your mind."
"None of this makes sense, John!" Aeryn pulled out of his embrace, and moved to stand up. "How can there be a woman out there who has my DNA, a woman who as far as nature is concerned, is me?"
"Honey, I don't know. I'm as confused as you are. I'm guessing since she came out of a wormhole, that maybe she's from another time or another reality or both."
"What's going to happen when Jack sees her? He's too young to comprehend any of this."
"Aer, it's a big ship. I'm sure it'll be no problem."
"There are just too many 'what ifs', John. What if she's hostile, what if she's a clone sent by some organization so they can get at you? The Nebari, the Scarrans, the Peacekeepers, they have all been working on the technology over the cycles. You well know that the only reason that a war has been avoided for as long as it has, is because of the threat you made that you would use the wormhole weapon against the side that would start the war. What if…"
"Shh, your concerns are valid, Aeryn, and I hear ya, but deep in my heart, I can't believe that any incarnation of you could ever be evil. I'm actually more worried about her health than anything."
"Yes, you've been worrying over her enough for the rest of us," Aeryn said pointedly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" John looked genuinely confused.
"It means…" Aeryn couldn't seem to find the words and ended up saying, "…nothing."
XXXXXXX
It was the middle of the sleep cycle and John told himself that he was only checking up on the injured Aeryn, making sure that no complications had arisen since Jool did her last checkup. That was why he was all the more surprised when he realized he had been sitting by her bedside for the past arn.
He took the opportunity of being alone with this Aeryn to really observe her, without the distraction of the rest of his shipmates. The years seemed to have taken more of a toll on this Aeryn than his wife, assuming of course they were the same age. She was thinner, and she didn't have the look of peace that his wife had when she slept. He had a feeling, that this Aeryn was not as lucky.
"What's your story, Aeryn?" John whispered. "Were you looking for us, or did fate lead you to our doorstep?"
John took her hand in his, examining it, and in his own way, he was also trying to share some of his strength with her. "Whatever it is, we'll help you through it, that's a promise. You just have to help yourself first. We've done all we can."
John was disheartened to see this woman in such a condition in front of him. John didn't even want to think what it might do to him if it was his Aeryn that was hurt instead of her. The thought made him ill, and he quickly pushed it out of his mind.
John suddenly felt a stab of anger. How did this Aeryn end up like this? Where were her friends? Was there a version of John where she came from? There must be if she had the module. Why wasn't he looking out for her?
Whenever his wife would leave Moya for errands and such, he always made sure to tag along, much to her dismay at times. He couldn't help it, she's been taken from him before, and he would never let that happen again.
John realized how unproductive his thoughts were and put a stop to them. He didn't know the story, and wouldn't know it until this Aeryn woke up. He decided to head back to bed, but not before he tenderly brushed a strand of hair from Aeryn's face. He immediately wondered why he did that, when a voice broke his thoughts.
"John, what are you doing here?" It was Aeryn, his Aeryn standing by the entrance of the med bay.
John wasn't sure, but he had a feeling Aeryn saw that little gesture from him. John wasn't even entirely sure what made him do it. He guessed it was probably out of habit, since he did it with his wife so often. Perhaps, for a moment, he just forgot.
"Umm… nothing, hon. I just went to get a drink and stopped by here, just making sure everything's ok."
His wife didn't look like she believed him, but she didn't seem angry either, maybe perhaps a little hurt. No doubt from that stupid gesture of his, John thought.
"What are you doing awake at this hour, Aer?" John asked, as he and Aeryn walked out of the med bay.
"I was looking for you." That was his Aeryn, blunt and to the point. "I can't sleep when you're not with me," Aeryn whispered.
John wasn't sure what to say to that. He knew Aeryn usually waited up for him before going to sleep, though she'd never admitted as much to him before. Besides, she was already asleep when he left her.
"I was actually on my way back, when you got here."
"Hmm… yes, I saw that." John wasn't sure if Aeryn was being sarcastic or not.
"Look, Aer, I know how that must've seemed to you…" John paused for a moment, thinking of what to say next, "Hell, I still remember how my stomach would twist when you would so much as place your hand on his back or something."
Aeryn stopped walking and looked at John, knowing very well who he was referring to.
"And we weren't even married then, John."
"Look, I know I crossed the line, but it meant nothing. I was just… just…"
"Giving her the kind of affection you should reserve only for your wife?"
"Aeryn, it wasn't like that!" The problem was that John himself didn't know exactly what it was.
"Look, John, I understand you better than you give me credit for. You've always been drawn to 'damsels in distress'," Aeryn said, using his English term, "And I suppose it's natural for you since you have such an inherent need to save everyone. I suppose the fact that she looks like me magnifies that tendency in you –"
"Aeryn, please –"
"But don't you dare forget which one of us you promised yourself to."
John wanted to be angry. Angry that his wife had insinuated that he could love anyone else, that he could be unfaithful. But as much as he wanted to be angry, he couldn't, because he knew too well how Aeryn was feeling. He knew too well the ugly feeling of insecurity and fear of possibly becoming the twin less loved. In fact, for a time, he did become the twin less loved.
So instead of becoming angry, he tried to reassure his wife. "Baby, there could never be anyone else. I thought you knew that by now."
"Sometimes you make it difficult," Aeryn said stiffly. "And she isn't…just anyone."
With that, she walked away from him and headed back to their quarters. John could only stare at her retreating form.
XXXXXXX
The following morning seemed pretty normal to John. Things were going pretty routinely at first meal, and his encounter with his wife the previous night seemed to have been forgotten.
Actually, if it weren't for the knowledge that Aeryn had a double lying unconscious in the med bay, he would have believed everything was as it should be.
"Jack, your food goes in your mouth, not in your nose," Aeryn admonished her son sternly. However, John could tell that his wife was trying hard not to crack a smile.
John, Chiana, Rygel and D'Argo, however, did not have the same discipline as Aeryn and burst out laughing. Aeryn could only roll her eyes.
"You know, Jack, when I was your age, I used to put little peas up my nose and see how far I could shoot them across the room," John said proudly. "I must say, they flew pretty far."
"That's disgusting, John," his wife said, making a face.
"Wuz a pea, daddy?"
"Well, buddy, it was a kind of vegetable from my home planet, it actually tasted pretty good as far as vegetables went, anyway, it's kind of like those takrootballs you and Chi love to snack on."
"Wow, I wanna try –"
"Don't even think about it, Jack," Aeryn said, interrupting her little son's thoughts. John didn't miss the glare he got from her either.
"Aww, mommy…" Jack pleaded, giving her that John Crichton puppy-dog look, something she was still learning how to steel herself against.
"How about after first meal, you and I do some maintenance on my Prowler?" Aeryn asked, trying to make him forget John's ridiculous idea.
"Okay! Can I sit in yo' P'owler an' pertend to be da pilot?" Jack asked, with such hope in his eyes that his mother would've had to have a heart of stone to even consider saying no.
"Of course you can, Jack."
"Yay! Ah'm gonna get my pilot suit, wait fo' me, 'kay, mommy?" Jack yelled behind him as he dashed out of the Center Chamber to get his pilot costume that his father bought for him a few weekens ago.
"Wait, finish your food first, Jack!" Aeryn yelled.
"Aww, let him go, Aer, he's just excited." John turned to his favorite pet, 1812 and said, "Keep an eye on li'l Jack, would you?"
After a few moments of getting used to Jack's absence, Chiana broke the silence.
"So, is there any change in the condition of you-know-who?"
"I spoke to Jool this morning, she said that Aeryn was fully re-hydrated and replenished, she should be coming around pretty soon," D'Argo answered.
"If she's anything like our Aeryn, she won't let a bump on the head keep her down for much longer," Rygel added.
"I agree," John said, "It won't be long until we get answers."
"Why do I have a feeling, we're not going to like them?" Aeryn asked.
All of a sudden, their conversation was interrupted by the familiar crackling of their comms.
Jool's excited voice came through, "Guys, come to the med bay quick… she's awake."
"I guess you'll find out soon enough, Aer," her husband said.
Chapter 3
The crew rushed to the med bay upon Jool's announcement. Knowing how anxious everyone was for answers, she met them just outside the med bay, to prevent them from overwhelming the visiting Aeryn.
"She's lucid, but she's still weak. It would be best if you all did not see her at once," Jool insisted. "Especially you, Aeryn."
"Alright, I'll stay outside, but just outside, in case anything happens," Aeryn agreed.
"Ok, then, I'll go in. I always did have a soothing effect on women. Isn't that right, hon?" John was trying for levity, and Aeryn knew it was how he dealt with nervousness.
"Chiana, could you please look after Jack?" Aeryn asked. "Make sure he stays off this tier."
"Sure thing, Aer."
"Ok, well, here goes nothing…" John said as he turned to enter the med bay, but Jool stopped him to give warning.
"John, wait, Aeryn, the one in there, recognized me. She said my name. She said something like, 'Thank Cholak, you're safe.' She also asked me where everyone else was. I have no idea who she was referring to when she said 'everyone else'. She has no idea where she is, so go slow, ok? The good news, at least, is that she didn't seem at all hostile."
"Alright, thanks for the heads-up, Jool. Any other last-minute advice?"
"No, I guess not."
With that, John entered the med bay.
XXXXXXX
Aeryn was lying on her side on the metal slab that had become her bed the past solar day since arriving on Moya, her back to him. Apparently, she hadn't heard him enter. John's palms were clammy with anxiety. He wasn't sure how to approach her, so he decided to keep his distance.
"Umm… Aeryn?" John said so softly, it was almost a whisper.
Aeryn froze, not even breathing. John was about to call Jool when she slowly turned around.
The blood drained from her face when she saw him. John saw the confusion and fear in her eyes and instinctively moved closer to try and comfort her.
Aeryn sprang off the metal slab, her body language telling him not to make another move. Her eyes frantically searched the room.
"No, it can't be…" Aeryn whispered to no one in particular.
"I'm not here to hurt you, I just want to help you," John said reassuringly, slowly bringing his hands up to show her that he was unarmed.
"This is a trick, you're a trick!"
"What's a trick, Aeryn? I don't understand," John asked calmly.
"You, you're a trick! Stay back!"
"I promise you, I'm not a trick…do you…do you recognize me?"
"Stop it! Stay away from me. Who sent you? What are you trying to accomplish by this imposture!"
"Imposture? Who do you think I'm posing as?" John looked genuinely confused. "I'm just John, and I think you do recognize me. What's wrong?"
"You, you're what's wrong. You're a bioloid or an Ancient or… I must've been captured, this is some kind of interrogation mind trick."
"I assure you that you haven't been captured and are free to leave whenever you wish. Jool told me you didn't react this way to her, why to me?"
"Jool, where is she! Have you harmed her?"
"No, no, she's just outside the med bay, as are my friends." John called Jool in, hoping she could help calm Aeryn.
Jool quickly entered the med bay.
"See, Aeryn? She's fine."
Aeryn looked back and forth between Jool and John.
"Who is he and where did he come from?" Aeryn asked Jool angrily.
"Umm…he's John, Aeryn. He lives here. This is where he's always been."
"He's dead and you know it!" Aeryn screamed at Jool.
Then it dawned on John. Wherever she came from, her version of John had died.
"Look, Aeryn, do you remember flying into a wormhole?" John asked.
Aeryn pondered his question for a while, struggling to remember. Then her eyes grew wide, as she realized something.
"Yes…umm…I was trying to escape…and I was being followed…and…umm…I remember, a wormhole opened! Yes, I was sucked into it. I…I don't remember what else…"
"Well, we saw you emerge from that wormhole. My friends and I took you in and brought you back to health," John explained, "We really don't mean you any harm, we're actually just as confused as you are."
"Aeryn," Jool spoke up, "I don't believe you're in your universe anymore, and I'm not the Jool you believe me to be."
"Aeryn, do you know anything about parallel universes?" John asked.
"Parallel universes? I've heard about them before, I never paid much attention…I always thought the idea was outrageous."
John could tell by the expression on her face that Aeryn was beginning to give their theory some consideration, trying to decide what to believe. She looked at John intently, studying him. John couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, like he was trying to pass a test, a test he couldn't fail. After several more moments, Aeryn broke the silence.
"So, who else is here?"
It was then that John knew that she had accepted their story, for the moment, at least. He gave her a quick roll call of Moya's crew, and then commed all of them to come to the med bay so she could see for herself.
XXXXXXX
The meeting of the two Aeryns turned out to be less eventful than John had anticipated. It was probably due to the fact that his wife already knew she was there, and that the other Aeryn had been warned ahead of time.
John always stayed close to the other Aeryn, making sure that she was alright and that she wasn't too overwhelmed by everything. Though over time, John realized that what was overwhelming her the most was his nearness, and so he backed off, albeit only a little.
"…We tried to treat him, but the radiation he was exposed to was too massive. He died on Talyn." Aeryn was struggling to keep her tears at bay as she told her story of how her John died.
John left her side and sat beside his wife, taking her hand in his. The visitor Aeryn's story was identical to the one that Rygel and Crais told the crew of Moya upon their return. His Aeryn had never spoken of it in such detail, as this Aeryn was doing now. John had never forgotten, though, how destroyed the woman he loved was, when she came back to Moya from her time on Talyn.
It astonished him that the reality this Aeryn came from was virtually the same, up until the point in which her John should have been twinned but wasn't. In her timeline, she explained, John, D'Argo, Chiana and Jool never went on the Leviathan that this John called Rohvu. She said that while their oxygen was depleting, they decided to keep going and were lucky enough to be picked up by a passing cargo freighter.
"Wait, wait, if you only had one John, then who gave him the blood transfusion after the refreshment house was bombed? You know, when he was trying to get the Chromextin," Chiana asked, having joined up with everyone in the med bay as soon as Jack took his nap.
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," the other Aeryn looked at Chiana, a little confused.
"I'm talking about the time soon after your John, D'Argo, Jool and other me returned after being picked up by…what was it you said…a cargo freighter?" Chiana said, "Didn't Talyn need Chromextin?"
"Yes, and the Rygel, John and Chiana from my reality got it for us. I don't understand the problem," Aeryn's twin said.
"Well, didn't your D'Argo beat the dren out of the security officer whose approval you needed to get the Chromextin?" Chiana asked.
"The D'Argo from my reality stayed behind to keep an eye on Crais."
"Ahh, that makes sense. Since the other me wasn't there, there was no altercation with the security officer, and he most likely approved the sale," D'Argo said.
The visitor Aeryn still didn't seem entirely sure what it was the people around her were talking about. So she continued on with her story.
"Anyway, about how I got here," the other Aeryn continued, "I was flying the module when Moya was captured by Peacekeepers. Three Prowlers were sent to try and capture me. I evaded them as long as I could, but I knew that without the intervention of some kind of miracle, they were going to get me, too. The Farscape module wasn't designed for combat maneuvers. I guess my intervention came in the form of that wormhole that opened up out of nowhere and swallowed me."
John wasn't the least bit surprised that Aeryn had outmaneuvered three Peacekeeper pilots, in state-of-the-art Prowlers, with his Farscape module. She really was, hands down, the best damn pilot he'd ever seen.
"Aeryn, why were you flying around in the Farscape module? I'm not too sure about you, but Aeryn here has always hated it," John said, looking at his wife.
The other Aeryn shrugged and simply said, "It's all I have left of John." She was clearly drained and looking very fatigued.
John said to Aeryn, "I think it's time you got some rest, a lot of it, in a real bed. Pilot had some DRDs prepare one of the quarters for you. Come on, I'll take you."
"It's ok, John, I'll do it," his wife said.
John figured Aeryn had more questions to ask. Aeryn, his Aeryn, had been unusually silent the whole time the rest of them had taken turns asking her twin various questions. Perhaps her questions were more personal in nature and she didn't want an audience.
After the two Aeryns left, Rygel broke the silence.
"So, explain to me again how all this yotz is possible?"
"Let me try to simplify it for you, Buckwheat. I believe that our universe and Aeryn's universe started out as one. I believe it was when D'Argo, Chiana, Jool and I decided to go on Rohvu that our two universes split," John explained, "You see, there's a theory within the scientific community on my planet that says universes split each time there are two or more possible outcomes to a situation, each with an equal probability of occurring."
Everyone just looked at John as if he had grown another head. It was something he had gotten used to over the cycles on Moya.
"So let me see if I understand your fahrbot theory correctly. This morning at first meal I had a hard time deciding whether to eat the Tarrow or the Grolak. I ended up deciding on the Tarrow, however my decision could have easily gone the other way. Are you telling me that the universe split then and that there is now a version of myself in an alternate universe that ended up eating the Grolak?"
Leave it to Rygel to make him sound stupid, John mused.
"Umm…well…yeah, theoretically, I suppose so." John quickly added, "I'm not entirely sure of the details, I'm not a quantum physicist. All I know is that there's a theory of Quantum Mechanics called Indeterminacy that says there can be more than one correct answer to a problem which physically can only have one answer."
"Well, the fact that there are two Aeryns with us now seems to support this theory of yours, John," D'Argo said, supporting his friend.
"Ok, well, now that we've established that, what are we going to do?" Jool asked.
"Well, that still remains to be seen," John answered.
XXXXXXX
"I want to thank you for your hospitality. I certainly would've died if you hadn't taken me in," Aeryn's twin said as she followed her down the hall.
"Don't thank me, it was John who insisted that we help you."
Aeryn, in her own subtle way, was making a point. Although she knew the right thing to do was to help her, she really didn't welcome her.
"Yes, I figured that was how it worked out. Nevertheless, all of you have treated me very well."
"Did you expect any less from us?"
Aeryn did not like the way she was acting towards her twin, cold and unapproachable, a persona she had hoped she would never return to.
"No, I guess not."
After the two Aeryns reached the guest quarters, Aeryn proceeded to leave her twin alone, however, her conscience wouldn't let her leave without some sort of apology.
"I'm sorry if I've been less than welcoming. But I suppose you understand that it's not easy to come face-to-face with a twin you never knew existed."
"Don't be sorry, I understand completely. I understand your resentment towards me. I've developed a kind of resentment towards you that I don't completely understand myself. Keep in mind that I am essentially you. How would you feel if you saw the love of your life happily married to someone else?" Aeryn's twin asked.
"You seem to be handling it well enough."
"Yes, it seems that way, doesn't it?" Aeryn's twin chuckled mirthlessly, "But if there's one thing we do well, it's mask our emotions."
Aeryn couldn't argue with that. If she was being honest with herself, she didn't think she could have handled herself as well as her twin had so far, had their situations been reversed. Perhaps all the hardships her twin had had to face had made her that much stronger.
Aeryn suddenly felt a pang of sadness for her twin, realizing that their situations could, in fact, have easily been the other way around. One event in her past made all the difference, and she selfishly thanked Zhaan's goddess that fate had been kinder to her.
"So what's your story?" Aeryn's twin said, interrupting her thoughts, "How was it that you ended up with everything and I with nothing?" Aeryn's twin held no malice in her voice, only fact.
"My story's rather long. Is there any part in particular you'd like to hear?"
"Chiana mentioned something earlier about my only having had 'one John'. What was she talking about?"
"In this reality, John was twinned. A creature with the power to duplicate a person did just that to John. Actually, John seems to believe that it was around that time that our two realities diverged," Aeryn said.
"That's unreal," her double said with disbelief.
"Anyway, soon after he was twinned, half of Moya's crew was separated, half went on Talyn, the other remained on Moya. I ended up on Talyn, as did John's twin. The John that is with us now was the one who remained on Moya."
"So the John you were with on Talyn, was he the original or the copy?"
"There was no copy. They were equal and original. That's what I believe anyway. Even if there was a copy, there was never a way to know which one it was," Aeryn said. "Anyway, while John and I were on Talyn, events unfolded much the same way they did for you, as far as I've gathered from your story."
"You mean that he and you became lovers?"
"Yes, and like your John, he died on Dam-Ba-Da."
"Except the difference in this reality was that there was another John waiting for you on Moya," Aeryn's twin said, realization dawning on her.
"Anyway, the following cycle was the most difficult of my life. But I got through it, in my own way. I suppose the knowledge that there was another John helped. It was like having a light at the end of the tunnel, as John would say. Eventually he asked me to marry him, of course I said 'yes'.
"However, it was just our luck that moments later we were crystallized by an unknown assailant. Of course, our friends didn't let us down and we were reconstituted soon after. At the time there was also a war looming over our heads between the Scarrans and the Peacekeepers. John threatened to use a wormhole weapon against the side that would dare start the war. The Peacekeepers knew they could never win a war against the Scarrans, and the Scarrans have seen firsthand the power of a wormhole. So war was averted, and we've lived peacefully since, though there will always be danger as long as John possesses wormhole knowledge."
Silence followed as the other Aeryn tried to absorb all she had been told. It was a remarkable story, perhaps a bit on the unbelievable side. But Aeryn knew it wasn't the implausibility of her story that made her twin so pensive. It was the heartache of coming face-to-face with what-might-have-been.
No one knew Aeryn better than Aeryn herself. Aeryn didn't have to be in her twin's position to know the conflicting feelings she had inside her. Aeryn also knew that if she were in her twin's position, she would've wanted to be alone. So she turned and left her twin to gather her thoughts.
Chapter 4
The visitor Aeryn stood alone on Moya's terrace, staring at the star her beloved John had named after her. She found some solace in knowing that despite all the randomness of the universe, there remained something constant in any reality. The star brought pain and comfort in equal measure, reminding her that once upon a time, she had been loved.
She was still trying to come to grips with everything that had happened to her so far. It was all so overwhelming. She supposed it was why she ended up on Moya's terrace; it always was her favorite spot on Moya. It held comforting memories of John. She was about to head back to her guest quarters when her thoughts were interrupted by the pitter-patter of little feet.
She turned around to see a little boy run into the terrace and hide in the corner. A red, white and blue DRD followed close behind. She didn't get a good look at his face, as his head was down. But his hair was a close color to her own, and if she were to guess his age, she would've thought maybe two or three cycles old.
The little boy sat huddled in the corner with his legs tucked to his chest. He was breathing heavily, but when he finally caught his breath, he looked up at her. He had the most shocking blue eyes and he was sporting a wide and mischievous grin.
"Shh, mommy, ah'm p'ayin' hide an' seek wif daddy. Don' tell him ah'm hewe."
It wasn't so much that he called her "mommy" that made her heart freeze, but it was his face. She instantly knew whose son this boy was. He had the face of John Crichton. They had the same eyes and the same smile. He was the most beautiful child she had ever seen.
She knew that the boy thought she was his mother. She knew that telling the boy the truth would only serve to confuse him, and she didn't want to do that. So she played along.
"You're hiding from your father?"
"Yup, me an' Eighteen Twew've we cawled in da aiw ducts, daddy can' go dere becuz he's big, but ah'm yiddle. Den we go'ed into Unc'e Rygew's woom, an' ah ate his candies," the little boy whispered secretively. "But don' tell anyone, 'kay, mommy?"
Aeryn couldn't help but chuckle, "Well, I wouldn't want to be in Rygel's path either if he ever caught me stealing some of his sweets."
This brought a giggle out of the little boy, and Aeryn couldn't help but have her heart melt at the closeness this boy obviously shared with his mother. After a microt or so, the boy stopped giggling and looked up at her intently.
"Mommy, how come you hab yor haiw tied? Ah don' yike it," the boy said with a small frown.
Aeryn did notice that her counterpart from this reality always wore her hair down. Her John always did like it when she used to let her hair loose, she figured the one here was no different. Like father, like son, she supposed. She would argue with her John that the braid was more practical, but she would always end up letting it down. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done that.
"You don't like it? Ok, well the next time you see me, I won't have it like this anymore," Aeryn said, making a mental note to be more careful about not bumping into the little boy in the future.
Before the little boy could answer, they heard John's voice boom from the corridor.
"Jack! Jack! C'mon, buddy! I give up, you win! It's time for bed. Your mother's –"
John stopped in mid-sentence as he entered the terrace and saw his son and his wife's twin crouched in the corner. A look of worry came across John's face, but he quickly masked it, in fear of offending their visitor.
"You foun' me, daddy!" Jack squealed, delighted.
"Yeah, you're hard to find. Your Aunt Chi taught you well," John said, giving what seemed to Aeryn an apologetic smile for not having mentioned Jack to her before.
"Can we p'ay again tomowwow?"
"Sure, why don't you go find your mother, and she'll tuck you into bed."
"Mommy's wight hewe, daddy!" Jack said laughing.
John seemed to realize that this Aeryn didn't do anything to dissuade his little son of the notion that she was his mother. John smiled thankfully at Aeryn, clearly grateful that he didn't have to explain such a complicated situation to his little son.
"Silly me, you're right, Jack, she's right here. But you know what? I need to talk to mom for a little while. Why don't you and 1812 go to your room, and she'll follow shortly?"
"Okay, c'mon Eighteen Twew've! Time to s'eep!" Jack said as he trotted out of the terrace, with 1812 in tow.
The moment Jack was out of earshot, John commed his wife and gave her the heads up. She sounded worried, but John told her what had happened and she seemed satisfied with his explanation.
There was a moment of silence between John and the visitor Aeryn after Jack left, neither one not knowing quite the right words to break the silence. So Aeryn said the first thing that came to mind.
"You and your wife have a beautiful son."
"Thanks. We think so, too," John answered. "I'm sorry we didn't mention him to you earlier. We didn't –"
"Don't be sorry, I understand completely. You don't owe me an explanation."
"We should have warned you anyway."
Aeryn only smiled in response. "He looks just like you, you know?"
"That's what they say, but he has his mother's hair, and a lot of his mannerisms come from her. For one, he's absolutely stubborn," John said.
"Stubborn? Well, if you're anything like the John I knew, I would say that was more your trait," Aeryn said, half-jokingly.
John could only laugh, knowing she was probably right.
After a microt or two, John asked, "So what brings you out here on the terrace?"
"Habit, I guess. My Moya is identical to yours, after all. It's my favorite place."
"Speaking of your Moya, tell me more about the reality you came from. How are your D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Jool?"
"D'Argo, Chiana and Rygel are dead. It was just me, Jool, Crais and Pilot onboard Moya."
"They're dead!" John exclaimed. "How?"
"D'Argo and Chiana were already dead by the time I came back from Talyn. Jool was the only one to survive. She told me about some creature called Tallip and an energy rider taking over Moya. Tallip killed the energy rider, but by the time Jool was able to figure out how to drive Tallip out, D'Argo had already been killed. Part of Jool's plan needed for Chiana to join two wires in Moya's starburst chamber to kill Tallip. Chiana however only had a small window of opportunity to get out, and she never made it."
"Oh, my God! In my reality, we were able to come out of the whole ordeal unscathed for the most part."
"I think your presence in this reality made the difference."
"And Rygel, what happened to him?"
"Shortly after we came back from Talyn, Rygel was kidnapped by a female Hynerian. We weren't able to rescue him. I tried to go after him on the module, but it wasn't good enough, and he was on the enemy transport pod when it blew up."
"Holy shit, in this reality, Rygel was kidnapped by a Hynerian named Orhnn. They were making their escape, but we got on D'Argo's ship, Aeryn and I, and rescued Rygel. I guess that it makes sense how things turned out in your reality, since D'Argo had already died by that time, and his ship couldn't have been used."
"I have since stopped thinking about life in terms of 'if only'," Aeryn said. "Anyway, that's what happened to them. That's why my Moya's crew is much smaller than yours."
"So, if Crais is part of your crew, what happened to Talyn?"
"He had become dangerous and paranoid. We were forced to shut down all his mechanoid systems. Unfortunately, we weren't able to bring him back."
John was quiet for a few moments. It looked like he was trying to gather his thoughts. Aeryn's reality was such a lonely one, nothing like his at all. She could tell that John was having a hard time accepting the cruel fate that she had had to deal with. She certainly didn't want his pity; it was how things turned out for her and she has long since accepted it.
"So tell me some of the things that happened to you. Your wife told me about her and your twin. I don't imagine you had an easy time," Aeryn said.
Aeryn knew she was being a little vague, but at the same time she figured it would probably be a little hurtful to just come right out and say, "So what was it like being the one left behind?"
"Well, it was a hard time, but I got through it. Though I guess I didn't have much of a choice," John said, laughing mirthlessly.
"I can't imagine it. The whole situation, I mean. I don't know what I would've done in her place. Two John Crichtons. I wouldn't have been able to handle that. How would I have been able to love one when both loved me equally?"
"Well, for my Aeryn, fate took away her decision. She ended up with one of us on Talyn and things just took on a life of its own there. Things just progressed between them like I didn't exist. It hurts to think about it. It still tugs at my heart knowing that if he'd never died, I would still be alone. A lot happened between the two of them on Talyn. I'm not naïve enough to believe that I could have had a fighting chance to get her back."
"So in other words, you think she wouldn't have given you a second thought had the other one not died, is that what you're telling me?"
"Maybe, I don't know. What do you think?"
"Perhaps you're right in that she wouldn't have had the strength to give up her John for you, their experience on Talyn would've made an unbreakable bond, but I can assure you that had she come back to Moya with the other John, the reality of your existence would have come crashing down on her, and your presence would have weighed very heavily on her mind."
"I can picture that scenario," John said.
"I can imagine it's difficult to accept the fact that you came in second. But remember, she loved John Crichton long before he was twinned. Take comfort in that."
"I do," John answered. "It was difficult when she came back from Talyn. She was like a shell of a person. She wouldn't even look at me. I felt like she saw me as the copy, the one without a soul. That hurt more than I can ever say. To this day I still wonder whether or not she hated me, even if only for a time, for not having been the one to die."
"I can't answer that, John. It's such a difficult position to imagine myself in, let alone figure out what I would have done or how I would have felt. But I do know that's not how she feels now. If there hadn't been two of you, she would have ended up exactly like me…what was it you said…a shell of a person?"
"Perhaps," John answered, absentmindedly.
"Trust me, John. She got what was probably the best of a lot of awful possibilities. I'm living proof of that," Aeryn said as she placed her hand on John's back.
"Thanks, Aeryn. You know, she and I have never really spoken about this in such detail. She told me that there was no longer a distinction in her mind between him and me anymore, and we just kinda left it at that."
"You two should talk, clearly it still hurts you."
"Nah, some things are better left unsaid."
Aeryn looked at him skeptically. She knew he was being a coward, but at the same time, she couldn't blame him. The fact that her double had told this John that there was no distinction in her mind might have led him to believe that she saw him as the other John. She probably didn't mean it that way, but John was so emotionally fragile that perhaps he felt that he'd lost a part of his identity. She pictured him having tried all these cycles to live up to his counterpart, the one who died a hero, the one his wife had put up on a pedestal.
"Well, clearly you two worked things out. Tell me how that happened," Aeryn said, wanting to steer the conversation to better times.
"Well, shortly after she came back on Moya from Talyn, she left again. She joined some ex-Peacekeeper squad and became an assassin. She never told me much else," John said with a hint of bitterness in his tone. "Anyway, about the same time, the crew disbanded as well, and I was left alone. I remained alone for monens.
"A lot of things happened between then and the time she came back. Let's just say I changed a lot. During the time she was gone, I learned to accept that I would always be 'yesterday' to her. Imagine my confusion when she came back wanting to be with me."
"So you two got together after she came back?"
"Oh, no, we got together much later. I was hurt and I'd lost my trust in her. I even took drugs for a while to ease my pain and try to forget her. There was also Scorpius onboard who further complicated things –"
"What in Hezmana was Scorpius doing onboard!"
"Aeryn got sick with heat delirium while she was away. He found her and saved her life in exchange for sanctuary aboard Moya. Aeryn didn't have a choice," John said. "Anyway, she made it hard for me to push her away. She was persistent, but she also gave me a lot of space. It was on Earth that I realized how much my rejection had hurt her. And despite all that, she still wanted to be with me."
"Wait, wait, you made it back to Earth?"
"Yes, by accident, but I made it back nonetheless. Anyway, Aeryn really supported me during that time, even when I wouldn't let her in. She made such an effort to learn about my culture and my family. It really opened my eyes to how much she cared about me."
"And that's when you two started to fix your relationship?"
"Soon after, yeah, I guess that's the story in a nutshell."
"I'm happy for you, John. I guess it's a comfort that somewhere amongst the many universes out there, you and I ended up together in some incarnation or another," Aeryn said, unable to stop the tears from coming.
"Hey, shh, don't cry, ba – er…Aeryn," John said as he took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry…I just…being with you, even with a different you…it's just –"
"I understand, it's alright. I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did for you, Aeryn."
"I can't stay here, John," Aeryn said through her tears.
"Sure you can, we'll figure something out."
"No, I mean this isn't my reality, and my Moya was captured by Peacekeepers in my reality and I have to save them."
"How can I help?"
"I can't navigate through a wormhole, John. There's no way I could find my way back, but I know you can help me."
"Aeryn, I don't know if you should go back to your reality. From what you've described, it's not a safe place to be. Not to mention –"
"It's my decision, John. Please, just escort me there. Just drop me off and come back. It won't take long. I think a universe is only big enough to hold one Aeryn Sun."
John nodded in agreement, knowing that she was right. He took her in his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. Aeryn didn't realize that her double was standing at the entrance watching their exchange, until she made a sound to clear her throat. Aeryn pulled away from John rather abruptly, cheeks hot with embarrassment. For whatever reason, she couldn't bring herself to look her twin in the eyes.
"John, Jack couldn't sleep and wanted you to tell him a bedtime story," John's wife said.
The other Aeryn knew that she could have just commed John, but she also understood why she came all the way down there. If she were being honest with herself, she would have done the same thing in her position.
There were times during her conversation with John when she'd felt the line between yesterday and today blurring. It scared her.
"It's alright, John. I was on my way back to my guest quarters anyway," the visitor Aeryn said.
John acknowledged her and quickly followed his wife out the terrace.
Chapter 5
It had been a half arn since John finished telling little Jack his much-rushed bedtime story. Afterwards, he and Aeryn just sat in their quarters, staring at opposite ends of the cell. He wanted to smooth things out with her, but he knew that she would talk when she was ready.
John knew his wife couldn't have been happy with what she'd just seen in the terrace. She had marched out of there so quickly he actually had to jog a bit to keep up with her. He wasn't exactly sure how much of it she saw, but he told himself that it didn't matter because he'd done nothing wrong. Why then did he feel like he owed her an explanation?
When John couldn't stand the silence anymore, he broke it. "C'mon, Aer, no more of the silent treatment, please."
"I'm not giving you the silent treatment, John. I simply don't know how to put into words everything I'm feeling right now."
John didn't give an answer. Instead, he let the microts tick by, letting Aeryn gather herself.
John knew very well that Aeryn wasn't a typical 'girl' in the sense that she didn't have a tendency to beat around the bush, nor force the other person to drag the truth out of her. He always was annoyed of those girls, who, when asked if anything was wrong, would answer, "Nothing," all the while making it clear through their body language that there obviously was, and they wanted it pried out of them. Aeryn wasn't melodramatic that way.
After a few more moments, Aeryn stood up and said, "I think I've been very patient these past few solar days, John. But I don't think it's entirely unreasonable for me to be upset after seeing another woman in my husband's arms."
"Aeryn, it wasn't how you're making it sound! The other Aeryn, she's been through so much, she was distraught, and I was just comforting her. You know, we wouldn't even be having this discussion if it had been, say, Chiana or something."
"Well, it wasn't Chiana, was it?"
"Aeryn, I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to say! Do you want an apology? Well, you're not getting one because I don't believe I did anything wrong!"
John regretted his words the moment they came out of his mouth. His wife's eyes began to glisten with tears, and he instantly hated himself. It was true that he believed he did nothing wrong, but he would have been lying to himself if he believed that he wouldn't have felt the same way she did if he were in her position.
"Honey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I…I'm sorry. I should know better than anyone the insecurity you must be feeling," John said.
John got up and took his wife in his arms. Aeryn let him embrace her, but she made no move to return the gesture.
"I've seen the way you look at her, John. You look at her with such concern, awe, care…and love. And not in the way you would look at a sister, either. How can I not be scared?"
"You have absolutely nothing to fear, Aeryn," John said, firmly. "Do you seriously think I would ever be unfaithful to you, that I could ever leave you?"
"No, John, you're an honorable man, and I know you would never do that. But I also know that you're a man ruled by his heart. You can't just turn your feelings on or off anymore than I can stop loving you. And that's what frightens me," Aeryn said, pulling out of John's embrace.
"You see, John, I know what it's like to be led by the heart. No matter how hard you fight against it, you eventually lose. That's what it was like for me on Talyn, you know. I tried so hard not to act on my feelings for him, especially knowing that you remained here, all alone. But he was John Crichton, the same man I'd been falling in love with for the past three cycles, and I couldn't help myself."
Aeryn had never spoken of her time on Talyn before, other than to say it was 'perfect'. John knew he was being selfish, but he didn't want to hear anymore.
"Don't lump me in the same category as you, Aeryn. Just because you had no self-control, don't assume that I don't!"
The words were barely out of John's mouth when he was struck across the face. He stood there, holding his cheek, stunned.
"John, I didn't mean to –"
"You think that I would fall for another woman right under my wife's nose? That's rich, Aeryn," John said, with as much snark as he could muster. "After everything we've been through…"
"That's just it, John. You've been through so much… so much because of me. Just because we've never talked about it much, it doesn't mean I don't realize how much I've hurt you over the cycles," Aeryn said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How could you not see my double as the better incarnation of me? After all, she wasn't the one who left you, treated you poorly when she came back, then left you again, and hurt you again after she came back. Yes, I heard that part of your conversation with her. She's the ideal Aeryn Sun."
"Not my ideal. Only you, Aeryn. Only, ever you."
John had had no idea that certain aspects of their past still bothered Aeryn so much. He always thought it was just him. He often felt petty for even dwelling on those days. It never occurred to him that Aeryn was right there dwelling with him.
"But you love her," Aeryn whispered.
John sighed, knowing what he was about to say would hurt the woman he loved, but he also knew that she respected the truth, and he would give it to her.
"I love her because she is Aeryn Sun, yes. But I don't love her as a husband would love his wife."
"I don't understand…"
"I am husband to only one woman, and that's you. My love for you is unique and unequalled, and don't you ever think otherwise. But how can I not love the other Aeryn when she is the same Aeryn who beat the dren outta me when we first met, who stole my underwear but never admitted to it, who tried so hard to pretend she didn't see the smiley face I made with the food cubes, who risked her life to save me on that Gammak Base so soon after being on her death bed?
"I've always loved Aeryn Sun, but my love for her evolved over time. I don't love you the same way I did five or six cycles ago, Aer. I loved you first as a friend before it became anything more. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that's how I love her, the other you."
"As a friend?"
"As I loved you that first cycle here on Moya," John said. He knew the term 'friend' lacked something important, something he couldn't put into words. Aeryn had always been more than just a friend, and he believed she knew that, he could only hope that she could understand beyond his simple, almost childlike explanation. "Does that make sense, babe?"
"I… guess," Aeryn answered, her voice filled with uncertainty.
John picked up on her doubt right away and tried a different approach. "The John on Talyn, you loved him."
"Don't, John. That was different!"
"Different! A moment ago you were comparing your situation to this one! What's different!"
"You were the same, you and him, you were the same!"
"So are you and your twin! Everything, up until the time our realities split, you two were the same. Your different experiences are what separate you two, nothing else! I was twinned by a madman; you were twinned by a mad universe. It's not as different as you want it to be!"
Aeryn opened her mouth as if to say something, but quickly shut it. She was smart in that she most likely knew their conversation would turn into a screaming match if they didn't cool off first. So she said nothing.
After John collected himself, he said, "We may never see eye-to-eye on this, Aeryn. But I want you to know… no, I need you to know that no one could ever take your place, not in my heart. There is nothing for you to feel insecure about. Nothing at all, you have to believe that! You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, no one else."
John knew he was getting through to his wife when she slowly wrapped her arms around him. He knew the toll the past couple of days had taken on her. She once again showed him just how strong she was with how she'd kept herself together. If anyone was entitled to a few tears, it was Aeryn. So he let her cry on his shoulder while he held her with everything he had.
"I love you, and you're mine, you stupid drannit!" Aeryn managed to say through her tears.
John could only chuckle, knowing that while it was disguised as a joke, his wife had never been more serious. "That I am. I'll even make a t-shirt that says 'Property of Aeryn Sun' on it, if you'd like."
This brought a small laugh from Aeryn, just as John had hoped. After her tears had subsided, John gently carried Aeryn and laid her on their bed. The sweet gesture was just what Aeryn needed, and she visibly relaxed. He realized it was something she hadn't done in days.
"You want to know the main difference between you and her, baby?"
"I have you?" Aeryn answered, feigning innocence.
"Well, besides that," John said. "The difference, Aeryn, is that I can live without her. But I can't live without you."
Aeryn nodded, taking her husband's face in her hands. There was complete understanding written on her face, and relief washed over John.
She kissed him slowly at first, tentatively, but it soon became more passionate. She pulled his shirt over his head and began struggling with his belt buckle. John followed suit, knowing that while he had reassured her with his words, he could reinforce that message with his body as well. He trailed kisses down her naked body, enjoying the soft, familiar sounds of pleasure coming from his wife. He then covered her body with his own, and soon nothing but moans and sighs were heard from their quarters.
XXXXXXX
The next morning the whole crew stood together in the docking bay to bid their guest good-bye.
"Well, as interesting as it was having two Aeryns, I think I'll be able to think more clearly after we're back to having just one again. But do fly safely, Aeryn, and don't forget to send our fahrbot human back here, remember this one's ours," Rygel said with as much tact as was possible from him.
The visitor Aeryn could only smile at Rygel's insensitivity. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed Rygel until she was face-to-face with him again.
"Good luck, Aer, I hope you get to save your Moya," Chiana said.
"I agree, best of luck to you, Aeryn. Remember, you are our friend and comrade and you are always welcome here. Take care," D'Argo added.
Jool also added her goodbye through the comms as she was looking after little Jack. "Remember, Aeryn, take it easy, you're still recovering from a concussion."
After everyone said their goodbyes, they left John and the two Aeryns alone in the docking bay. John's wife spoke first.
"I still think I should come. You attract trouble to you like a magnet attracts metal. I would feel better being by your side."
"I understand, Aer. But the module just barely holds two occupants. Besides, it'll be a quick trip. I'll be home in time for dinner," John said, giving his Aeryn a quick kiss on the lips.
"John's right, Aeryn. He just has to find the right exit for me. Once we're on the other side, there should be a commerce planet nearby where he can drop me off. He'll be back in no time."
Knowing that it truly was goodbye, Aeryn turned to her twin and said, "I wish the best for you. I really hope you find happiness."
The other Aeryn gave her a wistful smile in return. Both Aeryns knew that there was no such thing as happiness without John Crichton. Aeryn's twin, however, was graceful enough to simply say, "Thank you. I hope so, too."
"Please take care of John," Aeryn said.
"With my life."
Chapter 6
"Well, this is it, John. Welcome to my reality. It's not that much different from yours at first glance, is it?"
John had had no trouble navigating through the wormhole and easily found the right exit. Things seemed relatively quiet upon their arrival. John could only hope that it would remain that way for the duration of his stay.
"Well, we are in the middle of space, Aeryn. I don't imagine it would look too different."
"There should be a commerce planet an arn away, here," Aeryn said, pointing at the navigation screen on the module. "Just drop me off there."
"What are you going to do once you're there?"
"Well, I was thinking about getting you a ship so you can get back home."
John gave Aeryn a puzzled look.
"I kind of want to keep this ship, if you don't mind, John. Anyway, after that, I plan to find an ex-Peacekeeper unit and hopefully they'll help me free Moya and my friends. They won't be sympathetic to my cause, but I do know they have no love for the Peacekeepers. I'll hope for the best."
"And prepare for the worst. What happens if they decide not to help you, Aer?"
"I can't very well force them if they don't want to help. If that's the case, I might turn to mercenaries. They'll do anything for currency."
"Yes, in my reality they helped save me when I was being held by Scorpius in the Shadow Depository. Did that happen in your reality, too, is that what you were thinking?"
"Along the lines of that, yes."
Aeryn seemed to notice that John looked very pensive.
"What's the matter, don't you think my plan will work?" Aeryn asked.
"It's not that, I think under the circumstances, it's a very good plan. It's just that these people…well…neither the ex-Peacekeeper unit nor the mercenaries, whichever you get to help you…they won't care what happens to you. It's not like having D'Argo, or Chi, or even Rygel watching your back."
"Well, John, they're not with us, are they?"
"All I'm saying is that I don't like the idea of strangers watching your back."
"It's not your problem, John. When you're back in your reality, I'll be nothing more than an unrealized reality to you. Don't worry about it."
"Of course, I worry about it. I worry about you. I need to know that when I turn my back and leave you here all alone, you'll be alright."
"I can take care of myself, John. I've been doing it long before I ever met you. Trust me, I'll be fine."
John had never felt more torn. He wanted so badly to help Aeryn free her friends. He wanted to go back home knowing that she at least wouldn't be alone. He thought back to the time he and his Aeryn had had to deal with that mad scientist who injected Aeryn with Pilot's DNA. After the scientist gave the crew false hope of finding their homes, Aeryn was left with the realization that she didn't have a home. It was the first time it occurred to John just how scared Aeryn was to be left alone. He didn't imagine the Aeryn with him at the moment was any different.
However, as much as he wanted to make everything alright for her, he knew that he couldn't. More than that, he knew, as a husband and a father, it would be irresponsible for him to put himself in any danger.
"Do you have any currency in case you end up going with the hiring-the-mercenaries plan?"
"Yes, I have plenty. They're in the back. I made sure to put currency in every ship that was on Moya in case of an emergency. I guess –"
Before Aeryn could finish what she was saying, she was interrupted by a crackling from the ship's comms. John looked down on the ship's radar and noticed seven ships were heading their way. The comms' static soon gave way to a man's voice.
"Officer Sun, we have locked on to your ship and you are surrounded. Do not attempt to escape, or we will open fire."
"Dren!" John yelled. "Were they waiting all this time for you, Aer?"
"Probably not for me, though I'm guessing they've been monitoring wormhole activities in this region."
"Then how did he know that you're piloting?"
John looked out the window and saw seven Prowlers closing in on them. He knew that if Aeryn had been alone she would've tried to outrun them. But he also knew that she knew that the odds of her coming out of the ordeal alive were slim. He knew she wouldn't risk his life.
"Well, it is the Farscape module. It's the only ship of its kind here. There's also the possibility that he could've been one of the Prowler pilots on my tail before I fell into the wormhole."
The Peacekeeper spoke through the comms again, "I have orders, Officer Sun, to take you and anyone else aboard your ship, to Scorpius' Command Carrier. You can choose to cooperate or we can take you by force. It is up to you."
"My ship is unarmed. I will not try to fight you. Do not engage your weapons. I repeat, do not engage your weapons."
Aeryn allowed the Peacekeepers to escort her and John towards the Command Carrier. John knew they didn't really have a choice. John thought about his wife. Boy, was he gonna get his eema kicked! If he ever made it home again, he thought.
"I'm so sorry, John," Aeryn said.
"Hey, shit happens."
Chapter 7
"Well, well, if it isn't the infamous John Crichton. I must say, you and your friends did a remarkable job in leading everyone to believe you were dead," Scorpius said.
After John and Aeryn arrived on the Command Carrier, they were immediately escorted to Scorpius himself. Scorpius didn't know that he wasn't the same John Crichton that he had chased for cycles. John's first instincts were to correct him. However, he decided that it wouldn't be wise to educate Scorpius on parallel universes. If Scorpius knew that there were other John Crichtons in other universes, he would surely make this John find them so he could use them for his unending research into wormholes.
"Yeah, well, I thought the playing-dead thing was a pretty good idea, myself. After all, it kept you off my tail for several cycles, didn't it, Grasshopper?"
"Yes, but I have you now, don't I, John?"
"So it seems. Anyway, now that you have us," John said, looking to Aeryn. "What are you gonna do with us?"
"Do you really need me to answer that, John? Very well, you will help me with wormholes, and you, Officer Sun," Scorpius said, turning to Aeryn. "You will be my insurance that he does."
"You keep her out of this!"
"Unfortunately for you, I won't, John. You see, I learn from my mistakes. I've asked myself a dozen times, why didn't the Aurora Chair work? Well, the answer was simple; I underestimated you, John. I realized that to get what I wanted, I have to wait for you to give it to me. I doubt there is nothing you wouldn't do for me with your beloved as my leverage."
John and Scorpius stared each other down for what seemed like arns. But John knew that Scorpius could easily see through his bravado, and he soon gave up the charade.
"Alright, Scorpy, you win…for now. I'll help you with your research, but you have to promise me that Aeryn will be safe from any harm! She will not be treated as a prisoner. I want her treated as a guest of the highest order. You will make it clear to your crew that if they even look at her the wrong way, you will not get your wormhole knowledge, and I will not give you a second chance."
"Do not presume to make demands, John. Keep in mind that you are on my ship. However, I have the utmost confidence in my crew to keep you and Officer Sun in check for the duration of your stay. And since I don't see her as much of a threat at the moment…I'll give you that much. Anything else?"
"Yes, Moya's crew goes free," Aeryn said, beating John to it.
"Getting greedy, aren't we, Officer Sun? However, to show my goodwill, and to keep John from arguing and wasting time, they shall be treated as honored guests, just like you."
John and Aeryn nodded, knowing that it was the best they would get at the moment. John saw the fear in Aeryn's eyes, which mirrored his own. He knew that she feared their separation.
"Oh, one more thing, Scorpy, Aeryn and I will not, under any circumstances, be kept from each other, do I make myself clear? I want comms on both of us so we can communicate anytime we want. That is not a request, and it is non-negotiable. If I don't know where she is, or if I can't communicate with her, then I'll assume the worse, and you won't get anything out of me," John said, hoping Scorpius would give in to this request as well. John wasn't stupid and he knew that he did not, by any means, have the upper-hand.
"Your comms will be on an open channel, of course. And remember, John, if I don't get what I want from you in a timely fashion, if I think you're deliberately obstructing my project, then it will be Aeryn who suffers the consequences."
"Fair enough."
"Very well, John. Now that we understand the conditions of our deal, let me escort you to the research facility on this ship. You, Officer Sun, are free to wander the ship as you please," Scorpius said.
Before Aeryn turned to leave, John pulled her in for a hug and whispered to her, "Find your friends, and tell them what's going on. I'll comm you later and we can meet in the sauna."
After Aeryn left, John and Scorpius made their way to the research facility. John had realized soon after arriving on the Command Carrier that it was the same one that Talyn blew up in his reality. He knew that the fact that he had been on this ship before might prove to be an advantage.
"Why did you capture Moya?"
"I had hoped that you had stored wormhole data in her databanks. So far, she has been less than cooperative and we haven't gathered anything of any real substance."
"I have stored nothing in her databanks pertaining to wormholes."
"So you say, John. So you say."
John and Scorpius walked the rest of the way in silence. Upon arriving at the research facility, John broke the silence.
"How far are you in your wormhole research?"
"We can predict when wormholes will open. That has proven to be a great advantage in that we can give the illusion of control to our enemies. However, our Prowler pilots' molecular structure still deteriorates after traveling through the wormholes. Also, even if they did survive it, we still don't know how to navigate them."
"Well, Grasshopper, it looks like I've got my work cut out for me."
"Then you shouldn't waste anymore time now, should you?"
XXXXXXX
"That is quite the tale, Officer Sun," Crais said, after Aeryn told him about what had happened to her, and the John Crichton she had found.
"I can't believe it. John, alive again," Jool whispered.
"I've already explained this, Jool. He's not our John, and he doesn't belong here. I have to get him back to his reality. He has a wife and child waiting for him back there."
"I…I am sorry, Aeryn. You shouldn't have to lose John twice," Jool said, surprising Aeryn with the sincerity in her voice.
"Don't be sorry. I only lost him once. This one was never mine to lose," Aeryn said, leaving no room for further argument on the matter.
Soon after Aeryn, Crais and Jool were reunited, they decided to go straight to the sauna to talk. Aeryn had no idea how John knew that the Command Carrier had a sauna, but it gave her the idea nonetheless. Aeryn knew that the mist in the sauna interfered with surveillance. She also made sure to leave her comms in her guest cell.
"The situation is grim, Officer Sun," Crais said, bringing everyone's attention back to the problem at hand. "I used to be the Captain of this Command Carrier, and I assure you, there is no escaping from here, and most certainly not with the resources we have."
"We can't give up hope, Crais," Jool argued.
"I grew up on this Command Carrier, Jool. And I'm afraid Crais is right. We have nothing at our disposal. We are all under constant surveillance, with the exception of this room, and Moya's locked in a control collar. I know that she would rather die than have to endure that again."
"And I know Scorpius, he will not let John go until he's gotten everything he wants from him," Crais added.
"Which he will never get. I know John and he will not give him the power to wield wormholes. John's only trying to give the illusion that he is cooperating, to buy us some time," Aeryn said.
"And so far, we've come up with nothing," Jool said, dejectedly.
"Well, not really nothing…" Crais said.
"What do you mean?" Aeryn asked.
"I've been toying with an idea the past couple of days, and the longer I've been locked up here, the less insane my idea seemed to me."
"Well, what is it?" Jool asked impatiently.
"If I could somehow get aboard Moya, I could perhaps convince her to starburst in close proximity to the Command Carrier near one of the Armories, which as you know, Aeryn, are located away from crew quarters. It would cause enough damage to destroy the Carrier, slowly enough to allow for evacuation. Moya is, after all, hovering just outside the Carrier at this moment," Crais answered.
"Absolutely not! Moya is a living being. She is our home, but more than that she is our friend. We have no right to ask that of her!" Aeryn said, angrily.
"What if we don't even have to ask her, Aeryn? What if she's asking us? You said it yourself, she would rather die than spend another microt under Peacekeeper control. Perhaps she's just waiting for the opportunity to ask our permission if she can end her misery," Crais replied, calmly. "As it stands, Moya will most likely be a Peacekeeper leviathan for the rest of her life. Do you really think that's a fate better than death?"
"Moya would never agree. There are over fifty thousand occupants on this Carrier. A good portion of them are children. Moya would never agree to mass murder," Aeryn answered, beginning to contemplate Crais' plan.
"There are lifepods all over this Carrier. Jool, go and find out whether or not they're still operational," Crais said, turning to Jool. "I'll be honest, I don't think the lifepods will save everyone aboard, but I do believe they'll be able to save the majority."
"This is insane," Jool and Aeryn mumbled in unison.
"Do you two have a better idea? You yourself admit, Officer Sun, that the security aboard a Command Carrier such as this is virtually flawless. We have no friends on the outside coming to rescue us. I don't know what it is you're hoping will happen. As far as I can tell, our situation is hopeless."
"We still have John…"
"Who is doing nothing more than keeping us alive for the meantime, while he keeps up his charade. There is nothing he can do for us. Besides, this is not his fight and you know it," Crais said.
Aeryn was hit hard by the reality of the situation. She knew in her mind that Crais was right, even though deep in her heart she was praying for a miracle. Aeryn saw tears glisten in Jool's eyes, knowing that she realized the same thing.
"Alright, Crais, you do what you have to do. Keep the rest of us updated so we can prepare accordingly. Jool, you check on those lifepods," Aeryn said.
"What about you, Aeryn?" Jool asked.
"I'll talk to Crichton. But first, there's something I have to do."
XXXXXXX
"When was your last medical check-up, Officer Sun?" the Peacekeeper medic asked.
"In a Peacekeeper facility? About seven cycles ago."
Before going to talk to John, Aeryn made a detour to the Peacekeeper medical facility. She trusted the Jool from John's reality implicitly in her check-up of her. But Aeryn knew that she didn't have the technology that was available on the Command Carrier. Aeryn wanted to know that she hadn't suffered any permanent damage during her whole ordeal with the wormhole.
"Well, you're pretty much completely recovered from your concussion. Any dizziness or headaches?'
"No, not at all," Aeryn answered.
"You mentioned you traveled through wormholes, is that correct?"
"Yes, I got my injuries because of it."
"Well, I'm amazed that your molecular structure seems completely undamaged. As a matter of fact, you're completely fine, as is your fetus. If you get anymore symptoms of headache or –"
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"I said you were fine."
"Yes, and you said, as is my fetus. What are you talking about?" Aeryn demanded.
"I thought you'd like to know that your child is fine, and that your wormhole voyage did not have an effect on it."
"I…I'm pregnant?"
"Yes, you didn't know? It's held perfectly in stasis, you have nothing to worry about."
Aeryn was stunned. It amazed her at that moment that it never even occurred to her before that she could have been pregnant. She laughed a little out loud, thinking back to how often she and John had made love all those monens on Talyn. 'Frelling like babbits', John had said.
"Is everything alright?" the medic asked.
"Yes, thank you," Aeryn said, as she walked out of the medical room.
Aeryn tried not to think of this new revelation. There was nothing she could do about it at the moment. There were more pressing matters to deal with. A stasis could only last seven cycles and she had not been with any other man but John Crichton in that span of time. The knowledge that she carried John's baby brought her at once both comfort and fear.
XXXXXXX
It was the middle of the sleep cycle aboard Moya, but even the late arn didn't help anybody sleep. The crew was gathered together on Command, waiting for a wormhole to open. Their thoughts wouldn't let them rest as they were with John Crichton, a universe away.
"Aeryn, you haven't eaten since John left. At least get some sleep."
"I can't, D'Argo."
"If you can't sleep, at least lie down and, and get some rest," Chiana said, putting her arms around Aeryn. "We'll keep watch for you."
"Chiana is right, Aeryn. There's no use getting yourself sick worrying over John. I'm sure they're just having mechanical problems with the module or something and are still looking for spare parts," Jool suggested, optimistically.
"With John's luck?" Aeryn asked wryly.
"If you asked me, I'd say that Peacekeeper bitch kept him for herself," Rygel added. "I saw the way she looked at him."
Not surprisingly, Rygel only received a glare from everyone. The crew was too tired to dignify his comment with a response.
At that moment, everyone's reverie was interrupted by a little voice from behind them.
"Ah can' s'eep," Jack said, standing in his pajamas by the entrance to Command with 1812 beside him.
"Oh, baby, what's the matter?" Aeryn asked, scooping up her son in her arms.
"Ah go'ed to yors an' daddy's woom, but yo' not der. Ah had a bad dweam."
"Why didn't you just use the comms, Jack?" Jool asked.
Jack shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ah fo'got."
"Go ahead and tuck Jack back into bed, Aeryn. We'll keep a watch out for John," D'Argo said.
"Thank you."
Aeryn carried Jack back to his quarters. He was growing so fast. He seemed to be getting heavier and heavier each time she carried him.
"You know, son, you're beginning to get too heavy for me. Soon I won't be able to lift you anymore. You're heavier than a sack of Molack!"
Jack giggled at his mother's comment. "Yup, ah'm gonna be bigger den daddy!"
"Yes, I think you will be, but not too soon, I hope."
Aeryn was glad that Jack couldn't see the tears in her eyes at the mention of his father. She was carrying Jack with his head on her shoulder, and she held him even tighter to her. The very thought that her son might grow up bigger than his father without John there to see it gripped at her heart.
When they arrived at Jack's quarters, Aeryn tucked her little boy into his bed. She then laid herself down under the blanket beside him.
"Mommy, how come daddy's not hewe yet?" Little Jack asked.
"Well, baby, I'm sure he's just having trouble with his ship. You know how his module is always acting up on him, right? He's probably just trying to find the right parts to replace," Aeryn said, using Jool's much-too-innocent theory.
"Den he's coming back hewe?"
"Yes, of course," Aeryn answered, praying that she wasn't lying to her son.
"Good, 'cuz daddy didn' finish my stow'y."
"Oh, you mean your bedtime story?"
"Yup! Mommy, can you finish da stow'y fo' me?"
"Umm… I suppose I could try… what was it about?" Aeryn asked, thankful that she had read some Earth fairy tales during her stay there.
"Der was a p'wincess an' da bad Scawans taked hew, an' hew han'some knight go'ed to look fo' hew at da castle Katartsi."
"You mean Katratzi?"
"Dat's what ah said," Jack answered, bringing a smile to his mother's face.
Aeryn made a mental note to herself to have a word with John about the stories he'd been telling their three-cycle-old son. But she quickly changed her mind and promised herself she wouldn't care what stories John told in the future as long as he came back to tell them.
Aeryn noticed that John's story wasn't entirely accurate. Technically, she wasn't rescued on Katratzi, but instead it was at the Scarran border station en route to Katratzi. Aeryn could understand, however, why John had decided to simplify the story for their son.
The memory of what really happened during that whole ordeal brought a spark of hope to Aeryn. Throughout her life, Aeryn had found herself in so many hopeless situations, she had lost count. Her torture under Scarran hands, however, had been the most hopeless. Actually, it had been beyond hopeless, but John hadn't given up on her, and he had saved her. She realized that in all the cycles she'd known him, he never had. Aeryn could only hope that her husband would find his way back to her again.
"Ok, Jack. When the knight reached the castle –"
"Da han'some knight, mommy," Jack interrupted.
"Right, of course, when the handsome knight reached the castle…"
Chapter 8
"Such a bold move on your part to approach me like this, Crais. Please, tell me, why should I take you up on your offer?" Scorpius asked.
"So, then you admit that you haven't gotten far in accessing Moya's databanks?"
"I believe you know the answer to that, otherwise you wouldn't be here… Still, you haven't answered the question to my satisfaction. It's rude to answer a question with a question, you know."
"I believe you should take me up on my offer because I'm the only one who will be able to get you the information that you need. Imagine having the knowledge you've wanted for cycles, right in the palm of your hand. You, in turn, would be able to dispose of Crichton and move on to more productive matters."
"And how do you know that I won't do the same to you?"
"I don't. However, that's where my proposed deal comes in. The way I see it, I'm dead anyway unless I can make myself useful to you. I know you're having problems with Moya, and I can help. In the end, we both get something out of the deal."
"So, you'll give your help in exchange for your life?" Scorpius asked skeptically.
"Oh, no, not just for my life. Living life as a fugitive has since lost its novelty. No, what I want is to be reinstated as a Peacekeeper," Crais answered.
Scorpius didn't answer for a few microts. He seemed to be contemplating Crais' proposal. Crais counted on the fact that Scorpius would understand the driving force of ambition; Crais believed he even respected it. This was what Crais pinned his hopes to.
"You understand that this is my Command Carrier now."
"Of course. In fact, I don't want to be re-instated on this Carrier. I am too well-known here. I would like a fresh start elsewhere. I know you can make it happen, and it won't take more than a microt of your time."
Crais stared at Scorpius long and hard, keeping his features impassive. Scorpius understood ambition. Crais knew that a self-serving motive would lull the half-breed's suspicions. After all, in another time, under other circumstances, he might have made the same offer, with the intention to follow through. However, it was not another time. It didn't matter to Crais whether or not Scorpius meant to keep his end of the bargain and reinstate him. It wasn't Crais' goal. He just needed Scorpius to agree to let him help.
"So, tell me, Officer Crais… how exactly can you get me Moya's databanks?"
XXXXXXX
John arrived at the sauna soon after Aeryn had commed him. She sounded very worried, but of course, she couldn't say more over the comms. John knew just by the sound of her voice that something was up, so he told the techs he was working with that he needed a break and would return after an arn or so.
"So that's Crais' plan?" John asked incredulously. "And they say my plans are magra-fahrbot!"
"It's what we have at the moment. And anyway, we still don't know if Moya will do it. There's also still the obstacle of getting Crais aboard Moya. We still need to hear word from Jool about the lifepods as well," Aeryn answered.
"I see there's not a lot for me to do."
"There's really not a lot for any of us to do."
"So we're going to play the waiting game, huh?"
"I guess so," Aeryn answered, absentmindedly.
Aeryn was overly pensive. This worried John since she wasn't usually distracted during a crisis situation such as the one they were in. But he knew that, whatever it was, she would bring it up when she felt like it.
"John, when did you find out Aeryn… your Aeryn, was pregnant?"
John was a little surprised by her question. He had no idea why she would suddenly bring the topic up. But he didn't question her.
"I found out not too long after she returned from her time on Talyn."
"So your Aeryn conceived on Talyn?"
"Most likely there, yes, though there's also a possibility it may have been on the false Earth … but it's unlikely."
"I was just curious."
"Just curious?"
Aeryn stared at the floor long and hard. She looked like she wanted to say something, but for the life of John, he had no idea what. She turned to look up at him shyly, then turned away from him again. John couldn't stand it anymore.
"Aer, please, talk to me. What is it, what's going on?"
"I…I'm pregnant."
For a microt or three, John and Aeryn just sat there in silence. Aeryn just kept her head down, and John just stared at Aeryn, unsure whether or not she had more to add. When it was clear she didn't, John spoke up.
"A…Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive."
"Umm…is it…I mean…do you know…"
"It's John Crichton's. It couldn't be anyone else's."
"But your John's been dead for almost four cycles. Do you mean…"
Aeryn only had to look at him, and already he knew the answer. It saddened him that even after all these cycles, she still hadn't gotten over the death of her beloved. No one should grieve so hard for so long.
"Hey, it'll be alright. Don't worry about that now, everything's going to be fine," John said, putting his arm around Aeryn, hoping that he was telling the truth.
Their moment was interrupted when Jool came into the sauna excitedly.
"They're operational, the lifepods, they're operational!"
John and Aeryn drew apart abruptly and gave each other a look that said they would continue their conversation another time, and gave their undivided attention to Jool.
"I'm impressed, Jool. How'd you come by that information?" John asked.
Jool opened her mouth to answer, but no words came out. She stood there in the middle of the sauna and just stared at John for a few moments. When she realized that John and Aeryn were staring at her, she quickly regained her composure.
"I…I'm sorry. I just…seeing you again, is just…unbelievable."
"It's alright, Jool. Imagine me the first time I saw him," Aeryn said with a hint of a smile.
"So, how'd you find out about the lifepods?" John asked.
"Hmm…Let's just say…I have my ways."
"On second thought, I don't think I want to know."
Jool winked at him and continued on, "There's more. Scorpius still hasn't been able to access any information of importance from Moya's databanks. She has been completely uncooperative. He has lost patience. Crais anticipated this, even before your arrival. Crais offered Scorpius his help and maintained that the only way he could do that was to go on board Moya. Scorpius wouldn't allow it at first, but eventually he changed his mind."
"Why is Scorpius still intent on getting to Moya's databanks now that he has John?" Aeryn asked.
"Perhaps he's hoping that the other me, the one he thinks is me, stored enough data on wormholes in Moya that he won't need me anymore. It would certainly save him time if he did find it," John said.
"Anyway, Crais is being escorted to Moya as we speak. He also knows about the lifepods. So, as of now, we're just waiting for Moya's decision," Jool added.
"What about the soldiers that are escorting him?" Aeryn asked.
"Crais told me that he made a deal with Scorpius, and that everything's taken care of over at his end. I don't know the details of their deal. He didn't elaborate."
"How will we know what's gonna happen? How will he warn us if or when Moya decides to starburst?" John asked.
"If she decides not to, Crais won't contact us at all, but if she decides to go through with it, he'll give us a signal somehow."
"But the comms are on an open channel," Aeryn protested.
"He might not even use the comms. Anyway, it doesn't matter. It will take Moya only microts to starburst. By then the Carrier will be far too damaged for anyone to be able to do anything but try to escape. He told me to tell you to just be ready at any time."
"Fine, we'll all go about our business as if there's nothing wrong, we don't want to draw any attention to ourselves. All we can do now is wait for Crais' signal," John said.
"How are we supposed to get off this Carrier after it's been damaged? We can't very well get on the lifepods," Jool pointed out.
"We'll steal one of the Marauders. There are several hangar bays in this Carrier; when we get the signal, we'll all meet up at hangar bay nineteen. It is on the seventh tier. It's the closest hangar bay to the research facility. So, Jool, make sure to be around that area," Aeryn answered.
XXXXXXX
After leaving Aeryn and Jool in the sauna, John put in another seven arns in the research facility. He was exhausted, afterwards. It wasn't easy pretending to work. He had to make it seem like he was making progress to the other techs watching him without actually making any.
Knowing he couldn't keep up his charade much longer, he asked to take a break. It seemed the techs and guards around him were pretty tired themselves because they didn't protest. John went to get something to eat at the mess hall. He found Aeryn sitting by herself and proceeded to join her. There weren't a lot of Peacekeepers there at that arn, but the ones that were there did look at them both occasionally, with much disdain. John couldn't have cared less.
"How are you holding up, Aer? People treatin' ya alright?" John asked, knowing that Aeryn had grown up on this Carrier and she knew many of the crewmembers.
"They haven't hurt me, if that's what you're asking," Aeryn answered absently.
John just nodded. He could only imagine how difficult it must be for her to 'come home again', so to speak. So he dropped the subject.
"Where's Jool?"
"She finished her meal a quarter-arn ago. I think she went to get some rest. She knows to stay close by, though. How are you? You've been working for arns, you must be tired."
"I'm a little tired, but I'll be ok. I'm more worried about you, actually."
"I figured you would be," Aeryn said, with a hint of a smile. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I've been through worse."
John didn't doubt that. He wished there was more that he could do for her, but knew there wasn't.
"You seem to know your way around here…" Aeryn said, wanting John to elaborate.
"Let's just say I've been aboard a Carrier similar to this one a few cycles ago," John answered.
He wanted to tell her about the time he went on Scorpius' Command Carrier in his reality, and everything that happened. But he knew there was a good possibility that their conversation was being monitored at the moment.
"That explains a lot. You're going to have to tell me about that adventure."
"I will."
They sat in silence for a while. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, they were just careful not to say anything that might give their captors a reason to take action against them.
A few more Peacekeepers entered the mess hall. There was one female soldier in the crowd that looked like John's old girlfriend Caroline. He couldn't help but look. Aeryn's voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Blonde always was your natural taste in women," Aeryn said, looking at the female Peacekeeper that caught John's attention.
John scoffed at that and said, "You know, you sound just like my wi… er… I meant you sound just like… her."
John didn't want to give anything away to anyone who might be monitoring their conversation. But he knew Aeryn would understand who 'her' was.
"Well, John, I can't imagine we're really all that different."
"No, I guess not. She was teasing me about my 'propensity' for blondes just a few solar days ago," John said wistfully. "I'm sorry… I just miss her."
"Don't be sorry, John. I'm sure she's missing you, too. Not to mention she's worried sick about you, with your propensity for finding trouble."
"She's gonna kick my eema when I get back."
"Oh, you can count on that, John Crichton!"
Surprisingly, despite their situation, they laughed. John and Aeryn laughed wholeheartedly at the image of John getting the dren kicked out of him for coming home late. John thought back to the first time he met his Aeryn. The welcome she gave him was… memorable, to say the least. For a moment he imagined that scenario playing out again when he got back home. He couldn't help but laugh even harder.
They continued their comfortable bantering until Crais walked in and sat at their table. He spoke aloud of inconsequential matters while using common military hand signals to communicate to Aeryn out of sight of the ubiquitous surveillance cameras. After a short time, he said he was tired and going to bed, and suggested they do the same before taking his leave of them.
John gave Aeryn a look as if to ask, "What was that all about?"
Aeryn didn't answer his unspoken question for a few moments, stricken by the cold reality behind Crais' message. Gazing at John sorrowfully, she faked a yawn and said, "If Crais says it's time to go, then it's time to go. I'm ready to drop dead of exhaustion in about 300 microts, anyway."
John nodded his understanding; the countdown had started. He reached over and clasped Aeryn's hand, knowing that a part of her had hoped that Moya wouldn't go through with it, that maybe they could find another way. His Aeryn had always been close to Moya and Pilot; he had no doubt that this one was, as well. He wanted to comfort her and wished he could tell her that what Moya and Pilot were about to do was both brave and noble and that the only thing they could do now was to make their sacrifice worth it.
"Let's go, then," he said quietly.
Biting her lips to keep the tears at bay, Aeryn nodded and tightly clasped his hand in both of hers for a few grief-stricken moments. As they rose to their feet, they were approached by a tall female officer.
Ignoring him completely, the woman said scathingly to Aeryn, "I had heard that you were back. But for the life of me, I have no idea why they haven't sentenced you to death yet, deserter."
"Henta… I… It's not what you think," Aeryn said, clearly recognizing the Peacekeeper accosting her.
"I heard about what happened to you. Declared Irreversibly Contaminated by the traitor, Captain Crais. You could have come back after he was gone, but you didn't!"
"I –"
"Hey, back off!" John snarled, hackles raised by the Peacekeeper's attitude. "Aeryn, we don't have time for this dren."
"So," Henta sneered contemptuously. "This is the 'lesser species' you've taken to recreating with. Oh, don't look so surprised. The rumors about you and the infamous John Crichton have been disgustingly widespread. Have you really stooped that low, Aeryn? It's too bad the rumors of his death turned out to be just that: rumors."
John knew that that last statement hit Aeryn hard, but the clock was ticking. He tugged at Aeryn's arm, trying to disengage her from the confrontation between old estranged comrades. "Let's just go, Aeryn."
"Oh, so now you're taking orders from him? Where is your pride, Aeryn Sun? Have you no shame left at all?"
The woman would not let them pass, determined to have her say. People were starting to stare, watching the drama unfold for their viewing entertainment. John broke out in a sweat, knowing their time was running out.
"Look," he said placatingly. "We don't want any trouble. We were just leaving."
"Does he do all your talking now, too?" Henta taunted.
Matters were rapidly escalating out of control. Holding Aeryn's arm, John tried edging past the angry Peacekeeper among the crowd of tables.
Suddenly, the ship was rocked by a massive explosion that seemed to have originated several tiers above them. The impact was so strong that John and Aeryn were flung across the mess hall, debris falling all around them. Almost immediately, klaxons began to sound.
By the time John was able to compose himself, he realized that everyone who wasn't injured had rushed out of the mess hall to report to battle stations, including Henta.
He turned to Aeryn, who was getting to her feet, and asked, "Are you alright!"
"I'm fine. C'mon, we have to meet up with Jool at the hangar bay!"
Blaring announcements over ship-wide comms began directing everyone to make their way to the nearest lifepods and abandon ship.
It wasn't easy getting to the hangar bay. There were so many people trying to get to the various lifepods that there was stampede-like movement everywhere they went. The ship was also falling apart around them. Several tiers had collapsed onto theirs. Walls and pillars fell down all around them. The entire southeast side of their tier was consumed by fire.
They had to make several detours. It was amazing they made it to the hangar bay at all. When they reached their destination, Jool was already there waiting for them.
"We can't get out of here! The hangar bay doors are jammed!" Jool said, a panicky edge to her voice.
"Shit, what do you mean, they're jammed!"
"I mean, they will not open, and therefore we can't get out!" Jool answered sarcastically.
John was reminded of Sikozu for a microt there.
"Calm down, you two! I have an idea," Aeryn said. "There are two separate control systems for these hangar bay doors. One is clearly broken, but I'm willing to bet the other one isn't. I can access that other one from the control room which is near the other side of this carrier –"
"Nuh, uh! No way, Aeryn! This Carrier is falling apart exponentially! You won't make it back here with all the walls and tiers collapsing all around you!"
"Do you have a better idea, John? Remember, I grew up on this Carrier, I can navigate it with my eyes closed. I can get to the control room in no time at all and open this hangar bay door from there."
"And how are you going to get out?" Jool asked.
"There's another hangar bay on that side of the Carrier. It's not far from the control room. I'll get out through there!"
"Why don't we all just make our way to that hangar bay instead!" John asked.
"Because it would be foolish, John! It would be easier for me if I went alone, I'll be able to move faster. With everything falling apart all around us, there's a bigger risk of one of us getting injured if we go back to that area of the Carrier. This hangar bay should hold for another quarter-arn or so. Please trust me, John."
"Fine, Jool and I will take that Prowler parked over there," John said, pointing to one of only two Prowlers there. "We'll meet you on the hammond side outside the Carrier. That's where your hangar bay is, right, Aer? The one you'll escape out of?"
"Yes, it'll be there. Now you two wait in that Prowler and take off the moment those hangar bay doors open."
"Wait, what about Crais?" Jool asked.
"We can only hope he made his way out as well, Jool. He didn't give us a chance to find out what he was going to do," John answered.
Aeryn turned to leave when John grabbed her hand and said urgently, "You be careful."
Aeryn allowed herself the small indulgence of caressing John Crichton's cheek in response, before running out of the hangar bay.
XXXXXXX
John and Jool waited anxiously in the hangar bay, almost a quarter-arn, by John's count, since Aeryn had left. She hadn't really given them a 'point of no return', but they were getting more and more nervous as the microts ticked by.
They hadn't heard from Aeryn in over two hundred microts, so John decided to comm her and ask how she was doing.
"Hey, Aeryn, is everything alright?"
There was nothing but static for a few microts, as John held his breath. Finally Aeryn's voice came through.
"Yeah, I'm in the control room. I'm just trying to get past all this debris in my way."
"Do you think you can get the hangar bay doors open?" Jool asked.
"The controls don't look too damaged. I guess we'll find out in a few microts."
After twenty microts or so, John and Jool felt a rumble and realized that the hangar bay doors were opening. Jool shrieked in joy and John let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was still holding.
"Great job, Aer, the doors are open! We're flying outta here and we'll meet you on the other side. How long will it take you to get to your hangar bay?"
"Look, John, don't worry about me, I'm on my way there. Just hurry up and take off!"
"Yes, ma'am!" John answered cheerfully.
John and Jool took off and immediately headed to the hammond side of the Command Carrier.
John couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the whole Command Carrier. The tail end of it was blown away, no doubt that's what Moya aimed for when she starburst. It made sense since it was the least populated sector of the Carrier, and the area where most of the armaments were kept. More than half of the Carrier was on fire and he could see parts of the ship collapsing in on itself.
When they got to the hammond side of the Carrier, John couldn't find the entrance to the hangar bay that Aeryn said would be there. As a matter of fact, there wasn't a hangar bay anywhere to be seen.
"Do you suppose you're on the wrong side of the ship, John?" Jool asked.
"No, no, Aeryn said hammond side. This is it! It should be here!"
John, in a bit of a panic, quickly commed Aeryn.
"Aer, Jool and I are hovering right outside the hammond side of the Carrier and we can't find that hangar bay you're talking about! Where are you!"
"I'm still on the Carrier, John," Aeryn answered through her comms.
"Is everything alright, can't you get to that hangar bay? Aeryn, are you hurt?"
There was only silence. Aeryn didn't answer, and John was frantically flying his Prowler all around the hammond side of the Carrier trying to find the hangar bay that was supposed to be there.
"Maybe she made a mistake, and the hangar bay she was talking about is elsewhere, John. It is a big Carrier," Jool said.
"No way, Aeryn knows this Carrier like the back of her hand, there's no way…"
But John couldn't finish his sentence as realization dawned on him. There never was a hangar bay.
"Damn it, Aeryn! What the hell were you thinking!"
Aeryn's voice crackled through the comms, "Please, John, don't be angry with me…"
"I'm coming back for you!"
"No, John, don't! It's too late. Don't be a frelling idiot. It's too late to come back for me, and you know it! You'll only kill yourself!"
"She's right, John. It's suicide," Jool said.
John knew Aeryn and Jool were right. But he didn't know if he could bear it if another person he loved died for love of him.
"How could you do this, Aeryn, what about the baby!" John cried.
"The baby and I will be fine, John. Goddess willing, we'll be with our John, somewhere on the other side."
John was sick with the realization that it was too late. There was no way out for Aeryn. The Carrier was caving in on itself before his very eyes.
More and more static was interfering with their comms signal as the Carrier crumbled. Aeryn said her goodbyes to Jool while John stared numbly ahead.
"John…? I don't have much time, so just listen to me. I promised your wife that I would take care of you, and that's what I did. I did it the only way I knew how. I know you understand it, you just don't accept it. Please don't be angry with me, John. I don't want your last thoughts of me to be filled with anger," Aeryn pleaded.
John choked back his tears and answered, "I'm not angry, Aeryn… I just wish that things… could've been different."
"Me, too... Go home to your fam… don't… 'bout… me… nev… felt…b…"
John couldn't make out anymore than that as their comms failed and the static took over. He felt so ashamed that he couldn't even tell her thanks for saving his life.
He looked on through the tears in his eyes at the Command Carrier where Aeryn began and ended her life. He could only hope that she was finally at peace.
Epilogue
It had been three weekens since John came back through the wormhole. Aeryn had never seen a man look more destroyed than her husband did when she saw him come out of that Prowler he was piloting.
Aeryn had tried more than once to get John to talk about what had happened to him and the other Aeryn while they were in the other reality. But all he would say was that he wasn't ready to talk about it. She was just so happy to have him home that she didn't press the matter.
But just because she didn't press the matter, didn't mean that she wasn't worried about him. John hardly ate anything since returning, and he slept even less. On the bright side, he had begun acting more and more like the John she knew as the days passed.
So after getting off the emotional roller coaster Aeryn had been on the past few weekens, she now found herself sitting alone in the terrace, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. It wasn't easy. She had so much on her mind that she didn't even hear John enter.
"Hey, baby, penny for 'em," John said as he sat next to her.
"You know, I still don't understand that saying."
"Now, how did I know you were going to say that," John said with a grin. "No, really, what's on your mind?"
"You."
"Aww, I'm flattered, honey. You're always on my mind, too."
Aeryn didn't say anything, she only stared at him, at his wide smile. She realized she hasn't seen him smile since he left with the other Aeryn.
"What, do I have something stuck in my teeth?" John asked playfully.
"Huh? Oh, no, I just… It's nice to see you smile again," Aeryn said. "Which leads me to my next question; what put you in such a good mood?"
"Aren't I always in a good mood?"
That got him a raised eyebrow from Aeryn.
"Ok, ok, that was in poor taste," John said. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Hon, I'm so sorry I haven't really talked to you these past few weekens. I know how much you wanted to help me… I just couldn't bring myself to talk about what happened… It was just awful."
"Are you ready to talk now?"
"Yeah, yeah, I am."
"Why the change of heart?"
"I was watching Jack sleep after I put him to bed, and I realized I've got a really great gift and that I shouldn't waste it. And that's what I've been doing these past few weekens. By pushing you away, and trying to deal with my pain on my own, I wasn't honoring the sacrifice of the other Aeryn."
Aeryn nodded, having suspected that something awful most likely did happen to her double. It was the only explanation she could think of that would explain John's anguish.
"Tell me, John, what happened?"
So John told her everything that happened. He told her about Scorpius and the Command Carrier. He told her about the other Aeryn's pregnancy. He told her about what Moya did to help them escape. And he told her about how the other Aeryn saved his life, at the cost of her own.
Aeryn knew that John once again shouldered the blame of the death of another person dear to his heart. When will it end? she wondered as she put her arm around him to comfort him. Why was it that the universe loved to torture the man with the gentlest heart she'd ever known?
"She's in a better place now, John. There are some things worse than death. Being Aeryn Sun without John Crichton is one of them."
John nodded, understanding what it was like to be without his one constant. It was a fate worse than death.
"I didn't even get to thank her."
"Neither did I. But I believe I know my twin well enough to know that the best way to thank her is to live the life that she saved to its fullest."
"I know. It's just sad to think, there must be so many parallel universes out there. How many of those universes have a John and an Aeryn? And out of those universes, in how many of them have they been torn apart from each other? How many didn't even allow them to meet? What I'm asking is, why are we the lucky ones? How did everything fall so perfectly into place for both of us? Is it like the lottery, luck of the draw?" John asked, somewhat frustrated.
"I can't answer that, John. I guess a lot of it has to do with luck. But I also know that a lot of it has to do with how hard we worked to stay together, even when fate seemed to be against us."
"You know, for the longest time, I was so bitter for being the twin left behind when you went on Talyn. I guess in hindsight, I was the lucky one. I mean, here I am with everything."
"I know what you mean, John. There were times in the past, when things got too complicated, that I had wished you were never twinned. We both know how I would've ended up if that had never happened. And I'm selfish enough to be thankful that I never had to live the life the other Aeryn was forced to."
"I'm thankful, too."
"I've always known we've been lucky, but I never appreciated just how much until the other Aeryn arrived."
"I guess the best thing to do is not to dwell too much on the 'what ifs' and instead just appreciate the 'what is'. C'mon," John said getting up. "We should get some rest. I'm sure Jack will be waking us up bright and early tomorrow morning."
"You can count on that," Aeryn said. "John?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I'm happy you're back," Aeryn said.
"Me, too."
"Hmm, now take me to bed and I'll show you just how happy I am."
"I really am the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe."
"Glad you know it."
