A/N: So this is my first post and I today I felt like I needed to write this. Reviews welcomed.

Clara POV

I often think about this. I sit and I ready my hands and then. and then what? what comes after that? I stop and wait for the next time. all I do is think about it. But is it me thinking it? I'm not sure. It's almost like there is another voice, whispering in the dark. It wants something, needs something. But what? I feel alone, always. The more people the worse it is. I feel my chest tighten. Slow down, breath. In, out, in, out. My jaw tightens and I swallow the pain. I mustn't feel. I can't let them see. I smile and hope they can't see. Everyday gets harder. I slip away. Who am I now? I hear the voice again, telling me my fears. please make it stop. I struggle to find the light, but every time I swallow I bury myself deeper. I feel heavy and week. Stop! Stop telling me what I know is true. The words repeat in my mind, stupid, useless, fat, ugly, unloved. Every word hits harder then the last. My insides scream. I feel myself being ripped to shreds. Please make it stop. I feel worse when I'm happy, because I know it will end soon, I feel the tug at my smile. You know why you can't be happy no one could ever love someone like you. Please, what do I do. So I sit and I think and if I'm lucky I cry. At least then it lessens the weight. I wish I could just sleep. But laying in the dark, I'm more scared then I ever have been. I hear them loud and clear. I am nothing. I roll myself up tightly and hold myself till I fall asleep for exhaustion. Maybe It's time. I hope it's time. What else can I do. I sit and write and then I fall to the floor. I don't remember ever feeling this relaxed before. My vision blurs and I think I can hear something. Oh no please don't find my like this. At least know that this makes me happy. I reach up and stoke his face. "I feel light" and then nothing. beautiful nothing.

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Doctor POV

Where is she? I have been checking each room with no luck. She looks fine. But I can see under the surface shes barely holding it together. At last I find her room. I feel myself shatter and I hear myself scream. I run to her scooping her into my arms. "Please Clara, please don't leave. I know it is hard living with so much but please, please don't let go. I need you. I need you to be with me always." she smiles and stokes my face "I feel light" and then shes gone. I howl and sob rocking her madly. "Please, please I need you, come back" I press my lips to hers and feel nothing. I weep holding. "Why did you do this to me!" I scream and then I fall silent, tears still streaming down my face. I whip her the tears from her eyes, some her, some mine. I kiss her forehead one last time and I see her note in her hands. I take it and struggle to calm down enough to read it.

'Doctor,

I hope you will understand in time that this is best. Please know I will always love you.

Clara.'

I look down at her, she looks peaceful. I sigh and press my head to hers hoping she can hear me 'I'm sorry I failed you. I love you my impossible girl.' I sit for hours gently rocking her as you would trying to put a baby to sleep. I'm sure I even hum to her, as if I could calm her. Eventually I get up and take her home one last time. To be with her mother.

Fin.