Alright alright. I've been holding this captive since April. I'm finally going back to it to finish it so I figured I'd post it. Also, because some people (you know who you are) forced me into it. I have more written but I'll wait to see if you guys want me to continue it or not. Happy reading!
*Disclaimer* Must I be reminded that I don't own Big Time Rush or Dustin Belt? Cause I don't and I'm not happy about it.
Dustin made his way to Kendall's dressing room. The security guards that worked on the Paramount lot all recognized him by now. He'd been coming to visit Kendall at least twice a week since the show got picked up for a second season. However, he'd been going up there even more because he got the gig as Big Time Rush's official guitar player in the backing band. It worked for him. He got to play guitar and hang out with Kendall, two of his favorite things. He also got to make fun of Kendall for his cliché boy band moves that made the fangirls squeal. Poor girls had no idea they didn't stand a chance with the very blonde, very gay, heartthrob. Nope, Kendall was all Dustin's. The way they both liked it.
Dustin turned down the hall to Kendall's dressing room. He slowed when he heard the strum of a guitar. It wasn't necessarily the guitar sound that intrigued him, it was the timid strum. It definitely wasn't Kendall playing guitar in there. The blonde had a way of playing guitar rather confidently. He was a step away from appearing cocky. Whoever was playing right now was nervous and had obviously never played before.
He peered around the corner into the open doorway. He spotted a sad looking Logan sitting on Kendall's couch with an acoustic guitar in his lap. He was looking down at the strings with his eyebrows knitted in a determined fashion. He tried moving his fingers and strumming a little more defiant. The guitar wasn't having it. The sound was a random bunch of clipped notes that made Dustin cringe. Logan groaned and dropped his hands.
"Why do I even bother?" Logan said to himself. He grabbed the guitar's neck and went to put it down.
"Wait." Dustin walked quickly into the room to stop him. Logan looked up quickly and froze. Dustin even surprised himself. He was about to just head towards set where he figured Kendall was. Something about Logan and that determined look made Dustin need to help the younger man. Also, he hadn't talked to Logan alone since that night almost three years ago.
He hit the door with his hand to close it a little. It closed about half way. He stood there awkwardly glancing at Logan through his thick framed glasses. "Don't give up. If you wanna play, play. Do you know how?" Dustin already knew Logan had no idea what he was doing; he just wanted to hear the other man say something again.
Logan had been more than surprised to see Dustin come waltzing in the door. Kendall or the other guys were always around when they were together. The quiet, intimate moment made Logan uneasy. He was happy it was finally just the two of them again but he had wanted it to be under different circumstances. Not now.
Logan was always so confident, whether it be back flips or awkward dancing. He didn't need Dustin seeing him at his most vulnerable. However, just the fact that Dustin was talking to him again, with his full attention on him, put a small smile on his face. Until he remembered that the he had been asked a question.
Logan glanced down at the guitar, disappointed. "No. Kendall was going to teach me today but he got called back to set." Well there went any chance of impressing him.
Logan was pleasantly surprised when the other boy didn't laugh at him, but walked over and sat beside him on the couch.
"Well, I've got time. I kind of know a thing or two about guitars. Would you want me to show you some stuff?" Dustin gave Logan his best grin and the shorter boy almost felt lightheaded.
Logan's eyebrows shot up and he tried not to look too surprised by Dustin's offer. "Uhh, sure. I m-mean, if you don't have anything better to do." Logan shrugged trying to seem nonchalant even though he was tripping over his words.
Dustin raised one eyebrow, "Logan. It's either play guitar with you or go watch Kendall make ridiculous faces at the camera for a few hours." He laughed and Logan was glad he was sitting down. He knees wobbled just sitting there.
Logan laughed with Dustin and smiled his famous lopsided smile. Whether Dustin realized it or not, he picked Logan over Kendall. No. Logan thought. He chose guitar over being bored. It has nothing to do with you. He's obviously in love with Kendall. He's meant to be with Kendall. Not me. Why did he care so much anyway? It shouldn't even be in his mind to think of Dustin and Kendall's relationship. Logan would never have Dustin. Whoa. What? I don't want Dustin!...Except when he smiles at me like that...No! Even then. He's Kendall's boyfriend… He smells nice.
Dustin scooted closer to Logan where they were thigh to thigh now. "Alright, so let's do this." Dustin said. Logan swallowed thickly and looked down at Dustin's hands moving toward the guitar in his lap.
"So, all you have to do to play an F Chord is put your fingers on these frets. Now, you strum." Dustin put his arm behind Logan and his long, slender fingers over the strings he'd become familiar with. Logan strummed and tried to breath at the same time. It made a perfect pitch that he'd had heard plenty of times. This time was a bit different though.
"See how that sounds? That's an F. Now you try without me." Dustin removed his arm from Logan's back. Logan sighed quietly and tried to mimic where Dustin's fingers had been. He put them in the general area of where Dustin's had been. He had been paying close attention to Dustin's proximity rather than his guitar playing. He hoped for the best and strummed again. A broken, out of tune, note cut through the quiet room. Logan half groaned and his shoulders slumped. Dustin quickly moved even closer. They were side-to-side now as well. Friends sat this close right?
"No. No wait. You were almost there. You just need a little...guidance. That's where I come in." He put his arm behind Logan again and lightly placed his hand over the smaller one's shaking fingers. Which Dustin assumed was from Logan's nerves to learn a new instrument. "Here. Like this." Dustin was leaning forward to look around Logan's chest to see where to move their hands to.
Logan was trying to at least appear calm. Inside he was freaking the fuck out. He couldn't decide if he should focus on the guitar, Dustin's arm behind his back, his hand being covered by Dustin's bigger one, or dead puppies. He really didn't need to get a boner right now.
Once their fingers were in place, Dustin leaned back but was pretty much in Logan's bubble. Their faces were only a few inches apart but Logan was looking down until Dustin got his attention.
"Alright, that's where your fingers go. So all you've gotta do is..." Logan looked right into Dustin's eyes. Dustin stopped talking and stared back at the other brunette. Their chocolate eyes were locked and had no sign of changing. Dustin licked his lips, nervously. Of course it didn't go unnoticed by Logan. His eyes went down to Dustin's freshly wet lips. He knew what the taller boy wanted. Dustin started leaning in and he could feel his breath when he said, "strum."
Logan dropped his hand and strummed that same beautiful note as before as he closed the gap between them and kissed the other man. They both let out a breath they'd been holding thru their noses. Dustin took the guitar from Logan and set it down on the couch beside him, never breaking the kiss. It was sweet and desperate and wet and just not enough for either of them.
Logan knew he shouldn't be doing this. No one ever had this effect on Logan. Not the confident Logan that all the ladies loved. This one guy comes along and flips everything around. Logan wasn't even gay! He's never even thought about another guy like that before. Well, he appreciated other guys' good looks but he would never date another guy, or kiss another guy. All that went out the window when Dustin had licked his lips and just looked at him. Of course, he was indeed kissing him now and didn't want to be thinking. Just feeling what he's wanted to feel for 3 years.
Dustin put one hand on Logan's neck and the other on his hip, squeezing lightly. Logan knew he needed to stop this before they got too far but he couldn't find the strength in himself to do it. Instead, he threw caution to the wind and straddled Dustin's hips. They both smiled into the kiss and Logan licked his way into the other's mouth. Dustin's smile was replaced by a groan at Logan's small act of dominance. Logan grinned wickedly because Dustin's groan caused his stubble to tickle the boy on top. Dustin's hands quickly made their way to Logan's ass. The shorter boy slid closer to Dustin and raked his hands through the already messy hair below him.
Dustin nipped at Logan's lower lip and it caused the shorter boy's hips to jerk. Dustin squeezed his ass even tighter and they moaned together when their jean-clad members brushed against each other. They started rocking together awkwardly on the couch. The room became stuffy and filled with "ooh's" and "fuck yeah's" and loud panting. Logan was never very quiet in the bedroom. Being with Dustin enhanced everything so he couldn't help it when his moans steadily got louder as his neck was assaulted by said boy.
"Fuck, Dustin, so good!" Logan groaned.
Carlos was not usually an eavesdropper. However, today he found himself standing outside of Kendall's dressing room, camera in hand, recording Logan's make-out sesh with some random guy. He just assumed it would come in handy later for blackmail purposes or just for a good laugh with James and Kendall. He couldn't tell who the guy was with Logan because of his friend kind of being in his lap. He could tell Logan definitely enjoyed whoever it was though. Carlos had never even heard a girl moan as much (or as loud) as Logan which made him giggle even harder from outside the door.
However, all his giggles died down when he heard Logan quite distinctly say, "Fuck, Dustin, so good." Logan was making out with Dustin. Dustin, as in Kendall's boyfriend, Dustin. "Aw, fuck." Carlos muttered as he slid his camera back in his pocket. He turned quickly and ran down the hallway. He had to find James. James would know what to do.
Logan stilled his hips immediately. He pushed Dustin's chest. He fell back after making a 'pop' from disconnecting from Logan's collarbone.
"Wait. Did you hear that?" Logan asked with wide eyes. They both listened for sounds but the room was deathly quiet.
"Nope. Nothing." Dustin whispered as he went back to where he left off on Logan's collarbone. Logan almost gave in but knew that he had heard something. It had to be a sign right?
"No. Dustin. We can't do this... It's wrong." Logan whispered sadly. He finally had what he'd been dreaming about. However, if he continued, the guilt would surely kill him.
Dustin sat back and rubbed his hands over his face. Logan felt a little emptier and lighter when there was no more pressure on his sore ass. There would probably be bruises on his milky skin there and on his neck.
Dustin groaned, "God, you're right. What the fuck just happened? I've never lost it like that before. I made it three years without attacking you. I guess I just finally snapped." He was more talking to himself than Logan.
Logan frowned, "Yeah, me neither. I've never even kissed another guy before. Well, not sober anyways. Wait, you've wanted to "attack" me for three years?" Logan's eyebrow rose and he almost smiled.
Dustin smirked, "I don't know what you're talking about..." Then his face turned serious, "So... Is this gonna be weird now or do we just pretend it didn't happen? I mean, we obviously weren't thinking straight… Pun intended."
Logan grinned. Bad joke or not, Dustin was adorable. Nontheless, he wasn't sure what they should do. Logan opened and closed his mouth a few times before he sighed. He wanted to tell Dustin the truth. Tell him how much he's wanted him since that party they met at 3 years ago. The only problem with that was that he was afraid Dustin felt the same. Logan would never purposefully hurt Kendall. They had become best friends over the years and he knew Kendall would never betray him like Logan had already done. He had to do what he had to do. He lied.
"Yeah, nothing happened. We were both just really tired or something. Not thinking clearly." Logan tried to laugh it off like it was no big deal. Inside, he was slowly breaking. He finally had what he wanted but it was ripped out of his hands. What made it worse was that he had done the ripping to himself.
Dustin nodded but looked semi-disappointed for a second before he covered it with a small smile. "Hey, we can still be buds and stuff though right? Since, nothing happened?"
Logan grinned as best as he could and it came out more of a grimace. Dustin rubbed Logan's arm in a soothing manor. "Logan." The boy in question felt his knees would've given out again if he hadn't still been in Dustin's lap. Just because he said his name? That's all it took? Really?
Logan had to swallow the lump in his throat to reply, "What?" is all he could get out.
"Quit stressing so much. I can feel it pouring off you. Come here." Dustin held his arms open and Logan quickly closed the gap and put his head into the taller boy's broad chest. It was definitely helping Logan relax but at the same time he was even more confused than before.
"Dustin?" Logan whispered into the other's shirt.
"Hmm?" He questioned.
"We're definitely acting like something happened." Logan laughed. "And I'm still in your lap."
Dustin looked down, "So you are. Are you planning on un-mounting me today?" he smirked.
Logan found himself swooning at that smirk yet again. "Maybe. Maybe not." Logan whispered into Dustin's ear, not able to fight his flirtatious nature. "Are you gonna keep being a sex panther?"
Dustin shivered at Logan's unusually sexy tone. He couldn't help himself when he snaked his arms around Logan's waist, pulling him closer. He whispered back into Logan's ear, "Keep talking like that, and I'll be whatever you want me to be." He nibbled Logan's ear lobe.
Logan groaned and shivered before his eyes went wide. He pushed himself out of Dustin's lap, landing straight on his back on the floor. "Dude! This," he motioned between the two of them frantically, "isn't how to act like nothing happened! Anyone could tell something the fuck happened here!" Logan was starting to feel hysterical. He kept sitting on the floor because he didn't trust his feet yet.
Dustin put his head between his knees and groaned. "What the fuck have you done to me Logan?" he laughed humorlessly. "Seriously, I feel like... Well, I mean, it doesn't matter. Nothing happened, right?"
Logan nodded, not looking at the other. Dustin stood up and helped Logan up as well. He held Logan's hand a second longer than normal but eventually let go and put his head down. He walked towards the door, leaving Logan by himself.
Before he walked out the door, Dustin turned and had one more thing to say to Logan. "Logan?" The boy in question turned around to face Dustin. "I'm sorry. About that party-" Logan knew Dustin was about to tell him something they'd both been thinking about since that night three years ago. He knew if Dustin told him he regretted being with Kendall, they'd both feel horrible about it later and Kendall would be devastated. No, they belonged together. They complimented each other and Logan couldn't imagine Kendall with anyone else.
"Dustin. Don't. Seriously, it's all in the past. Let's not think about what could've happened, ok?" Logan looked at Dustin with a small smile. Dustin frowned and looked away from the other boy. Logan continued, "Now, you better get to movin! I bet Kendall's missing you on set."
Dustin gave Logan a sad smile, understanding why Logan was letting him down gently. They both knew this was for the best, even if it wasn't what either of them wanted. This is how it had to be.