A/N: So I just watched the episode Rampage and I felt the definite need to write a fiction after it. It was amazing, and I am still crying over it. Ugh, I still can't process everything that happened really because it was so high actionish but wow. I want to go watch it again and again but I should go to bed since I'm sick. But I'm going to write this first, and I have to say, I was pleased at the sudden burst of Eric/Calleigh scenes, although I could have went for a hug when he found out his sister was dead, but at least she was there for him sort of… I literally started crying at the first Eric/Calleigh scene just because there hasn't been a good scene with them for sooo long! Anyhow, story.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, I only own the idea and the little monologue of sorts at the beginning!
And it's Calleigh/Eric you know, if you didn't guess or don't know me at all haha.
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I used to want to live forever. I used to want a lot of things that I don't want anymore. For the older I grew, the wiser I got. The longer I lived, the more things I did in past years, things I loved in past years, seemed silly and pointless. I grew to realize that I've gained more knowledge than I've ever possessed by acknowledging that I know nothing at all. And by knowing that in two years from now I'll be laughing in spite of myself at something I'll do tomorrow, or next week. In life, you have to realize that things can't last forever, nothing does. Your friends will lie and they'll deceive you. Love will come, and it will pass. Vacations, jobs, nothing in life is a guarantee. Nothing in life will last as long as you want it to but you have to remember: If you're able to remember the good times, the secrets, if you're able to forgive... then in a way, you have the power to make anything last as long as you want it to in your personal forever. And if you're able to love who you are, what you're doing and who you are with every second of every day, then forever, your life, could end tomorrow for you and it would be alright. But if you're suffering, if you're burdening yourself with worries of tomorrow rather than the joys of today, then you might as well surpass forever for if your world ended five minutes from now, none of your suffering is worth anything. Years of hard work and stress and it's over and you never knew the wonders of the moment, you never lived your dreams, you never expressed yourself. You never knew happiness. So consider how you live your life because forever could end tomorrow for you and you don't want regrets. In the wise words of Jonathan Larson, "No day but today."
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It was a short and sweet service that started in a small church in the Cuban neighbourhood where Eric's parents lived. He felt bad for them considering they didn't even know Marisol was married until she was dying. Why did she have to die anyways? It wasn't fair that she died that way. She had beaten the cancer, she was moving on, she was living life and then this. Sometimes he considered quitting his job. Lots of times really. After Speed's death, now, and various points in between. Would Marisol have gotten shot if he hadn't been with the force? Probably not. She wouldn't have met Horatio either which in the long run of things was the reason she got shot, but would she have been as happy as she was if she wouldn't have met Horatio? As much as Eric wanted to think it was a mistake, that they shouldn't have rushed into things like that, he knew Marisol loved his boss, and visa versa. He could tell she was happier than she had been since she'd gotten cancer but everything just made him hate the world. Why Marisol? Why his beautiful, intelligent, amazing older sister? Why did she have to get cancer, why did she have to die so young? She had the rest of her life ahead of her, she was just married, they were trying to conceive. Everything was going blurry in Eric's head as he tried to figure out all of his thoughts and listen to the minister at the same time. The service was ending and this was goodbye. Goodbye forever to his big sister. The sister he had looked up to all through his childhood. The sister he had saved from trouble countless times in their teens. The sister he had shared secrets with, cried with, when times got rough. The sister who had cried on his shoulder when she was diagnosed. The sister who he spent years going to treatments with. The sister he spent years fight death with. How could he say goodbye to her? He couldn't. He couldn't do this. Closing his eyes, he felt his sanity slipping out of his body with every tear that trickled down his cheek. He faintly felt Calleigh squeezing his hand from where she sat beside him. Would Calleigh be next? It seemed as if every person who was important in his life disappeared one by one. First Speed, his best friend, now Marisol, his sister, the person he was most close to for his whole life. Would Calleigh be next? He couldn't lose her too. He would do anything he had to to protect her. Anything. He opened his eyes and realized that he and Calleigh were the only ones left in the room.
"You okay Eric?" She asked him quietly after moments of pure silence.
"No." He answered honestly. "I don't think I've been okay for a long time. I mean, I thought I was okay, I pretended I was okay after Speed… and then I was really getting to be okay… and then this… and…" He couldn't explain what was going through his head out loud. He couldn't make anyone else understand.
"Eric," Calleigh began, and then stopped. She didn't know what to say to make things better. Sometimes actions conveyed more than words. She stood up and offered him her hand. A metaphor to show she was there to support him. He accepted and she pulled him up. They just stood there facing each other for what seemed like eternity before they simultaneously moved closer into each other's embrace for a hug.
"Excuse me, but we've got to…" One of the funeral home workers motioned towards the casket, which was being closed.
"Eric, let's go get into my car okay? I'll drive you to the cemetery. We can come back for your car later." Calleigh told him, and he just nodded, silently wiping away at the tears that were still steadily falling down his cheeks. Calleigh took his hand and led him to her car.
The ride from the funeral to the burial site was silent except from the occasional sniffle from Eric. They could see everyone already starting to gather around the spot where Marisol was to be buried. It wasn't a large funeral really she wouldn't have wanted that. Horatio was there naturally, Eric's parents and sisters, Ryan, Alexx and Frank, then Eric and Calleigh. They were the last to arrive seeing as they had been the last to leave the funeral home, therefore the last car in line-up behind the hearse. Getting out, the silently made their way over to the gathering. Eric was pulled into his Mother's embrace immediately as he played strong and wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his shoulder. Calleigh made her way over to Horatio who hadn't spoken or acknowledged anyone since the service started. "How're you doing Horatio?" She asked quietly as she stood behind him. At first, she thought he was going to ignore her when he didn't turn around but after moments of silence he spoke.
"I don't know what to do Calleigh, I really don't." He told her quietly, not turning around, head facing the grass. It was one of those rare moments where Horatio let someone see past his strong shell and inside to the fragile person he really was.
"I know Horatio, I can't imagine how you feel." Calleigh sympathized.
"I know you can Calleigh." Horatio whispered. For the first time that day Calleigh let a tear fall down her cheek. "I know you can." He repeated. "How did you bounce back? How did you find something to live for again? First I lost my Mother, then Ray, then Speed, and then I got Ray back and lost him again as quickly as I found him and this time he took Yelina and Ray Jr. with him. Then I found Marisol and everything that ever happened to me was forgotten. She made me happier than anything Calleigh, and now she's gone, and it's my fault. I know it's my fault, and now I have nothing."
"You still have Eric and I, and Ryan and Alexx. Yelina and Ray Jr will come back sometime, I'm sure of it. They'll miss you Horatio, you're they're family." Calleigh consoled him.
"I'm bad luck." Horatio sighed.
"Horatio, you're not bad luck…" Calleigh started, but the minister had started talking and Calleigh didn't feel like talking over him. She'd talk to Horatio in time. If she had gotten through things, he could to. She was sure of it, because she'd help him every step of the way. Eric too. They were in this together, and there was no backing out.
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So this was going to be some sort of oneshot deal but what do you know? I've started some sort of weird thing that I think needs to be continued. What do you guys think? Tell me in a review? Pleasee? Thank you lovlies! Hope you enjoyed it!