Disclaimer: You know the deal, i don't own bleach. If i did there would be more Kisuke. There's just something about hats and clogs...teehee.

Hope you read the summary or you'll be going into this blindly.

Rated M

(Sunday morning)

'What in the hell is wrong with you?' Ichigo shouted, ducking for cover as Rukia threw yet another object at him. Rukia seemed extra igitated today, and she was taking her anger out on Ichigo. From across the room ichigo stared at Rukia in irritation. She was sitting on top of his desk with a blank expression on his her, balancing another object in her tiny hand.

'Damn midget...what the hell' He thought. As she pulled back to throw, Ichigo took quick action. Rukia's eyes grow wide at the sight of ichigo rushing at her, and Ichigo smiled devilry.

' I GOT YOU NOW, MIDGET!'

Rukia tried to escape from ichigo grasp, but waited just a second to late to move. He caught her as the tip of her fingers touched the door. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Ichigo lifted Rukia off the floor with ease.

'Release me, damn it...' Rukia struggled against Ichigo, but he had her in a iron grip around her middle. As Rukia squirmed restlessly, Ichigo's mind shorted; then, wandered as her little frame rubbed up against him. Ichigo had never realized Rukia as a woman until that very moment, and he was at a complete loss of word. Her body pressed against him like a puzzle piece, shaping to his in a precise fit; Rukia's lower half making delightful friction against Ichigo crotch area. The orange head bit back the groan that was building up his thoart, but he couldn't fight back his growing arousal.

...Damn it...

As Ichigo hesitated, Rukia took advantage,and stubbed his foot with all her might. Ichigo was to affixed to let go; therefore, the pain only served to bring back his irritation.

'So you want to play like that, huh.'

Ichigo looked around his room, until he spied a forgotten ruler lying on the floor. Ichigo smiled wickedly at his intended payback. Throwing Rukia over his shoulder, Ichigo picked up the ruler on his way to his bed. Sitting down, Ichigo slung a still fighting Rukia over his lap and lifted her skirt, revealing pink lace and an ample bottom; then, with an almost deranged expression ichigo began spanking the flailing vixen.

SMACK!

For a whole two seconds, Rukia was completely still; then, as if realizing what was happening, she screamed.

'OH, HOW DARE YOU, ICHIGO! DAMN IT, UNHAND ME OR I PROMISE I'LL-'

'WHAT? YOU'LL DO WHAT, RUKIA' Ichigo bit out, unrefraining in his punishment.

'I...I...-'

Smirking at Rukia's lost for words, Ichigo murmured. "Exactly what i thought" Throwing the ruler down on the floor, Ichigo and replaced the wooden tool with his bare hand.

'Ahh! You asshole!'

At that moment Ichigo's family burst into the room, and everybody froze. Ichigo was in mid spank, with Rukia resting arkwardly across his legs; her skirt lifted, bottom tender and red. Isshin had a knowing look on his face, while his daughter's expression range from shock to amusement.

Ichigo was the first to recover after the long pregnant silence, tossing Rukia off his lap and onto the floor. Ignoring the death glare from the flushed shinigami, Ichigo made to explain ' We were just-

'You don't have to explain, son.' Isshin said, 'I don't have a problem with what you and Rukia do when you're alone.'

It only took a couple of second for the teenager to register his father's implication, causing a crimson blush to dust his cheeks. Of course Ichigo being Ichigo...

' ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT RUKIA AND I ARE HAVING SEX?"

Ichigo's words hung heavy in the air. From somewhere beside him, Rukia was overcome with a coughing fit. Yuzu seemed visibly uncomfortable, while Karin smirked. Isshin on the other hand seemed calm and comprehending.

'You don't have to be embarassed, Ichigo. What you and Rukia are doing is natural. I know at your age you began to get a little curious...'

Ichigo didn't want to hear this! He could not believe his father was actually saying this and with Yuzu and Karin present,too!. Did he actually believe that he and Rukia were being intimate! Really! It was not possibe, well technical it was, but it could never happen, would never happen. Rukia was ultimately out of his league, unreachable for a sixteen year old teenage boy. She was a grown woman, hundreds of years his senior and Ichigo doubted she was with the whole cougar thing. Ichigo shook his head, reluctantly tuning back in to his father's endless rant.

'... and then there's the responsiblity of becoming a father. So, i' m saying this as clearly as i can... use protection. I'm not ready to be a granfather just yet, Ichigo.'

'Protection?... WHAT THE HELL? WE HAVEN'T BEEN DOING ANYTHING'

Isshin shrugged. ' It's bound to happen'

'NO IT'S NOT!' Ichigo shouted, fidgeting uncomfortable

'So, you're telling me Ichigo...that your not 'attracted' to Rukia? Isshin asked, his brows furrowing low on his forehead.

'NO, GODDAMMIT!'

' Son...are you...confused?'

'What?..NO, WHAT THE HELL, I'M NOT GAY!'

Isshin did a silent prayer to his deceased wife. ' Thank Kami...our son IS attracted to the opposite sex'

Ichigo could feel a headache coming on full force and he just wanted some peace and fucking quiet and everybody out of is damn room, but of course that was out of the question when Karin decied to put in her input with a bearly contain snicker.

'Are you sure you not attracted to Rukia?' Karin asked, taunting. Boy, was she gonna burn his ass good.

"No' Ichigo spat, glaring at his sister, daring her to say another word. Yuzu pulled on Karin's shirt, pleading her to stop, but Karin wouldn't have it.

' Well, for a someone who says there's no attracttion you're sure popping some serious wood, big brother'

Karin had the urge to laugh her ass off. This was just so priceless! Here was Ichigo, her big and 'stronger' older brother squirming like a little bitch under pressure. It was even more hilarious to see her brother cover his crotch with a face full of red apples at her little comment, but kami it was worth it

Karin left, giving in to her urge, but not without comment to the ever so silent soulreaper on the floor who seemed just a little to complacent.

'You've unleashed the beast, Ruka, hope you're prepared to suffer the consequences?'

Karin watched a steady blush climb the dark haired woman's face before smirking and taking her leave. She didn't have to elaborate. Rukia was a smart girl. Yuzu, offering a apologize, followed close behind with a more esctatic, Isshin.

Rukia thought it better to just stay quiet. Of course she felt quilty for letting Ichigo fend for himself against his eccentric father uncanny assumption, and they were crazy,mind you, but it wasn't enough to make her step in. Besides, he had it coming afterall.

...Humiliate me, will you Ichigo...Yes, revenge's a bitch isn't it my friend...

Rukia wasn't lifting a finger to help him,not that he'd ask anyway, so she enjoyed the little show while it transpired. She smugly watched as the young substitute soul reaper nearly piss his pants as his sister pointed out his painfully obvious erection. Rukia nearly knealed over in laughter. Teenage hormones were a even bigger bitch. Rukia was so sure that the attention was wholy on Ichigo, and didn't expect Karin's cryptic comment.

'You've unleashed the beast, Ruka, hope you're prepared to suffer the consequences'

Rukia couldn't help the blush that crawaled up from her neck to her face, squishing her superior mode. It wasn't so hard to decipher the younger Kurosaki's little remark. The older woman stared dumbly after the retreating backs of the fraternal twins and their father, then at the teen sitting rigidly on the bed, who was conviently not looking in her direction. This was going to be awkward...to say the very least.

Authot's note: Yeah, yeah, let me have it. Review please. Don't be to harsh on me and crush my hope, i actually wany to finish this. : D. Thanks.