Book One: Renesmee

Blank Futures

THERE NEVER WAS MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT. JACOB HAD LOVED ME since he'd seen me, and he was my caretaker, my guardian. I dreamed about him just as much as dreamed of my mother, Bella. With such a level of commitment he gave me, it was hard to resist what I wanted, what I needed. My mother told me of how Jacob used to be a drug for her, the only thing that made her happy when my father had left. He was like that for me now, but not because I was sad. He just made me happy when I was around him. My own personal sun. That's what he was for me. And even without all this, I loved him. He was different than anyone I had ever met, even now that I could go to High School.

Everyone there was too dreary, caught up in stupid human dramas. I guess it was hard for me to make that judgment, considering that no one even looked my way half the time. They only ever paid attention to me when I'd first moved there. I had no friends. I just sat with the rest of my family. My father and mother, 2 aunts and 2 uncles. They all appeared to be the same age as I, but they had lived through much more, so I hardly had any idea what they were talking about half the time. I was bored. School was too easy. I knew everything after it had been said once. Away from school was no better.

We used to live in Forks, but at the rate I had been growing, it had been impossible to stay inconspicuous. We had to move too often. I hadn't grown in 140 years, but we still couldn't return. People would remember us—or rather, their town records would. It was too bad that humans kept better track of things now. According to my father, it had been much easier when everything that humans knew was based on memories and fables, so the stories couldn't last long.

I was sick and tired of the Himalayas; there were almost no good choices in predators for feeding on. They all tasted so…so…just…non-flavorful. They were boring and bland. I wish Carlisle still had a blood bank. At least that would be something new. Was there any possible way to move again? Now? I wasn't sure. As long as Jacob was with me. And I knew he would come wherever I went.

"Ed…Dad?" I always said Edward around the public. If people knew he was my father, they'd be perplexed, and more informed of our world. It's just become habit.

"Yes sweetheart?" he answered me coolly. There was no need to keep talking once I got his attention. I just thought to myself and I knew he heard it. When can we move again? The choices here are so…unappetizing. I can tell nobody else really likes it either. Well, Jasper can, and he tells me just about everything. Not that he wants to.

Since I'd been born, I'd had the ability to show people what I was thinking, but it had changed, now I could touch them and both show them what I was thinking and see what they were thinking at that moment. It was sort of a variation of what my father and Aro Volturi--I shivered at the name--could do.

"Here," he said, holding out his hand. Apparently, he didn't want anyone else hearing this. It's not so much what everyone else wants, but rather that the humans would notice if we left after only being here a month. We HAD planned to stay for a while, and everyone knew it. We aren't hiking Everest, well, not that they know about. We have to stay for at least another year here, or the humans will talk.

Alice doesn't think so. She's seen me make the decision to leave, and it didn't affect anything.

That's because Alice can't see everything as clearly as she used to, as little as she wants to admit it. It's like a newborn's strength. After a while, the strength wears off because there isn't as much fresh human blood running through their veins. This is, in a way, like that, just lengthened. I don't know why and Carlisle can't possibly theorize, because Alice hasn't told him.

If Alice hasn't even told Carlisle, then why are you telling me? She obviously wants to keep this a secret.

He dropped his hand. "Because someone needs to know besides me who I trust to be able to keep the secret. It's been eating out my insides, not being able tell someone. Usually, I can easily keep others' secrets, but this…it's too hard to keep. It's something that will implicate us all if we don't figure it out. Someone else…"He paused to search for the right word"…deserves…to know."

"Alright. I'm gonna go hunt. I'll see you later?"

"Yes, darling. I'll be here. I think your mother will be getting back with Alice soon. You might cross them on your way out. I love you…more than my own life."

"Plus que ma vie." I mimicked. It had been our phrase since I was less than 6 months old. I wore it on the locket around my neck.

"Where are you headed Nessie?" Jacob inquired as I left.

"Just out to hunt for a bit. You don't need to come."

"But I want to…" he argued, but I cut him off.

"I don't want you to come. Sorry. I just need some time alone."

"Sure, sure. Sorry."

I walked out towards the town. It separated the only small forest from our house. I was sunny, and hard to keep in the shadows, not that anyone noticed me. I didn't sparkle, just glowed. But still, any precautions I could take to prevent the Volturi from coming to find us. Ugh. I shuddered at the memory.

Even though I was only 4 months old then, I remembered it well. Aro, being the leader, always creeped me out when I thought of him. He seemed so sure and exuberant, but I knew that he had been plotting the whole time. Caius, his menacing physique and tone. And then there was Marcus, uninterested, bored. There wasn't really another way to describe it. Although he was always bored with everything, there seemed to be some undertone of fascination that he had.

While heading through the shadows, I met up with my mother and Alice, who looked like she was having another headache, much like the ones she told me of having before I was born. She didn't look very happy, either. My mother's head was creased with worry, though she probably had no idea why Alice was in "pain". I knew, too well. Why did my father have to share so much with me. It was hardly fair. If he didn't like keeping a secret such as this, how could he expect me to have an easy time with it?

"Hi Momma. Hi Auntie Alice. How was your hunt?" Although I preferred to speak with my own "special" way, I didn't feel like running to meet then today, and Alice probably wanted to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Hey Renesmee," Alice said dully. She wore a "bored-out-of-her-mind" expression, but that was probably to keep anyone from seeing the truth beneath the face.

"Salut ma chere. Ma petite." My mother, Bella, had picked up some French over that last couple of years. And Spanish. And Polynesian. And Norwegian. And Arabic. The list goes on and on. I was truly amazed that she had the time, what with her night life being…I was ashamed to have thought of that. And disgusted by myself. For heaven's sake! I really was only six years old!

"The hunt was…fine," they said in almost perfect synchronization. My mother seemed irritated by Alice and Alice seemed lost in another world.

"Auntie, may I 'speak' to you for just minute?" I asked. Alice's eyes flashed from me to Bella and then back to me again. I could only guess what she was thinking. I had to be touching her to be sure.

"Umm…sure…I guess. But maybe later." She then turned to my mom. "I think I'm going to go hunt some more…with Renesmee," she said, looking at me. A line of worry vertically creasing her forehead. "Later Bella?"

"You're keeping something from me, and I don't like it. Who could I tell Alice? I've gotten better at acting."

"Oh, never mind. I'm sure Edward already knows."

"I still want to hunt," I said.

"Want to come with us mom? If it's alright with Auntie Alice, of course."

"Umm…I guess it would be fine. You obviously already know. Bella, I'll need to clue you in before I start answering questions."

We all headed back in the same direction they'd came from, the same direction I had been going. They were very careful to avoid the sun, but even then, they ran with amazing speed. I could barely keep up.

When we reached the forest, Alice stopped. My mother and I kept running for a few hundred feet, thinking Alice would catch up. She stayed stopped. We then slowed and turned to go back to her. Had she been holding something, she would have dropped it. Shock, confusion, and anger played across her almost-blank face. Her eyes were far away. Did she get her vision back?

"A-A-Alice," I stammered. "What did you see?" I was bewildered. I didn't think she had her vision to start with and then I find out that something horrible --by the look of her face-- was going to happen. "Alice, tell me what you saw," my mother mimicked.

"I-I..don't know. All of the sudden. I thought I was going to see something and, it was just, blank. Not even like when I see you or the werewolves Renesmee. My sight…it just, left. One second I was seeing this," She motioned to the forest around us. "…and the next my vision went blurry, like I was having a vision, but there was nothing there. No scenery, no nothing. I couldn't even see my surroundings for about a minute."

"Does this have anything to do with the REST of the blurred visions?" I asked her, accusingly, though that was not at all how I meant it to come out.

"I don't know. Maybe." She was dazed, but there was a hint of anger that came out in her voice and would have been much prominent had she really been paying attention. "Wait," she said. "Who told you that?"

"Umm…well…nobody really told me. It was just sort of, going through their head when I "talked" to him."

"Of course Edward would tell you. It'd be nice if he could keep things from you once in a while. I swear…whatever you or your mother wants to know from him, he says. He USED TO be able to keep a secret that we didn't want anyone else to know, but now? You just ask and he tells." She spoke stridently and it hurt my ears, a bit. I was so used to quiet voices. No one ever spoke to me with such an acidic tone either. "Look, Nessie. I'm sorry for going off like that. I am just getting the worst headache right now, even trying to focus on futures. I hate it when I can't see. It feels so…uncomfortable, like holding your breath for a long time."

"Alice, don't worry about it. Momma? I think Daddy was waiting for you to get back. He was very…anxious." I tried to hold back a little giggle, to no avail. "I'll talk to Alice for now and we will fill you in afterwards?"

"Why is that a question, Renesmee?"

"I was asking Alice what she wanted. I mean, she deserves a say in what she tells us." I looked to Alice for conformation, and her face was blank. If she hadn't been a vampire, I would have believed she was dead. "Alice? Alice!" I shook her feverishly, trying to get her out of her trance. She was frozen. She didn't respond to the trembles, nor to the slap I laid across her face. It was as if she had been turned to stone.