"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

It was weird, hearing the news.

Like the world around me just stopped and started moving in a completely different direction, throwing me off balance completely.

Nothing we can do, so, so sorry. A few months at the most. If we can help in any way...

I clutch Usa-chan so tight that it turns my knuckles white. I can feel Takashi staring at me. And it makes me squirm in my seat. He opens his mouth to ask the doctor something, but I'm already off the seat and heading toward the door.

I walk out into the hallway and begin to navigate the corridors, walking toward the exit. I hear footsteps echo behind me and I know that Takashi is following close behind whilst giving me space, for which I am grateful.

The driver picks us up at the entrance to the Ootori owned hospital. He offhandedly asks about the check-up, I am silent. Takashi shakes his head, indicating that the driver to leave them alone. The car pulls away from the hospital.

The tension in the car is unbearable. There were so many words just waiting to be said. Arguments, statements,

Plans.

Planning my death.

Saying goodbye.

My mind jumps through all the people I will never see again.

Takashi, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyoya, Haruhi, Yasuchika, Satoshi.

My parents.

My family.

The host club.

Gone.

And then I get angry. It boils up inside me, this unavoidable rage at whoever thought it would be funny to strike me down. The complete and utter fury at whatever inhabits the heavens, that gave this ailment to me.

Takashi knows I'm about to lose it. He knows how angry I am.

The car pulls to a stop outside Haninozuka Mansion and Takashi thanks the driver.

I walk up to my room, and head straight for my bookcase, picking up the first book I find and starting to read. I hear Takashi enter and shut the door behind him.

"Mitsukuni..." He states uncertainly. I ignore him, turning a page in my book.

"Mitsukuni." He repeats in a tone that brooks no argument.

"What?" I reply.

"We need to talk abo-"

"What? My death? My final goodbye? The moment when everything I ever worked up to is fucking useless? What more is there to talk about Takashi? Why should I pretend to care anymore?" My voice is hysterical, I'm laughing though my eyes are shimmering with tears that threaten to fall, my body won't stop shaking, my head is pounding like I've run a marathon and a half and my nose is stuffy as hell. The book lies forgotten as the words come pouring out of my mouth. "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"What about everyone else? Don't you think they deserve to care? Even if you don't, even if you've given up all hope, let them care for you. Let me care for you." He states, his emotionless mask slipping to the most emotion I've ever seen on my cousins face.

I look up at him, the tears finally falling down my face, dripping off the end of my face, a continuous stream. I look up at my cousin, and whisper the unspoken words at the front of my mind, occupying my thoughts.

"I don't want to die, Takashi."

My phone buzzes from the bedside cabinet, and I roll over and reach out to grab it. Takashi is lying in the spare bed. I know he isn't asleep. I hear my parents downstairs. They are arguing, loudly. What started as a normal, adult conversation has turned into the blame game.

I hear a soft knock from my bedroom door and I roll out of bed, resolving to check my phone later. I walk over to the door and open it to reveal an ashen faced Yasuchika.

"Chika?" I question.

"Please tell me it isn't true."He whispers. "Please tell me this is just a misunderstanding."

"No more midnight cakes for me anymore." My attempt at humour falls flat. Chika's face goes even paler and his eyes go wide.

"Do you think this is a joke? You've just told me that I'm going to lose my only brother, and you make a joke out of it?"

"Well, excuse me for trying to lighten the mood."

"The mood can't be lightened, you'll be dead and buried and-"

"That's enough." Takashi cuts in. Effectively cutting off where the conversation was heading. Chika gives me a lingering look before spinning on his heel and walking away. But instead of storming off to his room, he heads in the direction of our parents.

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE, AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO DO IT SOMEWHERE THAT WE CAN'T FUCKING HEAR!" He screams at them. The argument dies and Chika comes storming back up the stairs again.

"Sleep well, Mitsukuni." He mutters before heading to his bedroom.

I unlock my phone, and I see that the message is from Kyoya. He probably already knows, as his father does own the company. It's a simple question.

Are you telling the others?-KO

I mull it over in my head, before asking Takashi what he thinks I should do. He just gives me the look that says 'Whatever you decide I'll back you up.' Yes he does have a look for that.

I don't know. -MH

I think on the pros and cons of telling the host club of my current predicament.

They'll find out eventually.-KO

I would hope that me being dead would be noticea-

I can't finish the text, as I break into a round of hacking coughs so violent, I feel like my insides are on fire. Takashi grabs me some water and strokes my back as the coughs rack my body. When I'm sure they're over, I take a long sip of the water and relish in the coolness on my aching insides.

"Will you be alright?" Takashi questions. I nod.

It was the cough that sent me to the doctors in the first place, that and the waves of dizziness that would hit at random moments.

I would hope that me being dead would be noticeable!-MH

Would it?-MH

AN
Yup. This is happening.
Heads up, there is no happy ending. No 'mistakes'.

I don't feel well, I've had a crappy few weeks with exams, being attacked by a guy 3 times my size and changing timetable, it's been pretty shit.

SO... I'll finish up the next chapter of Menimienai Means The Invisible, update a few other fanfics that haven't been updated in YEARS and faff around for a bit :D

Review and stuff! xxxx