".and the hummus stands alone"- vengefull_buddah
It was a day like any other in an average middle class suburb in Middle America. The sun rose on an average house where an average (and I'm being generous) writer was just waking up. Our average writer was quikly made alert when the average writer stepped on an exteremly large crate filled with the average writer's above average porn collection.
"Argh!" yelled our writer, "my toe is swelling up!!" But then brilliance (or brilliance's estranged cousin, mediocrity, depending on who you ask) struck our writer. "Swollen..swollen MEMBER!!" Quick as lightning our writer was off to the computer. Less quick however was the internet connection which caused a slight delay. But I digress.
As soon as word popped up our writer tried to set about doing what writers do: write (albeit poorly in our writers case). But that day, the one that had appeared so normal, turned out to be the strangest day our writer had ever experienced. Where he usually spewed forth a torrent of homosexual smut he now found himself blank.
He tried to console himself with the fact that all good writers got writers block. He figured some fresh air would help ease his mind and get him back into that dirty groove he loved so much.
He walked out to obtain the newspaper (the only link that remained between him and reality) and who should pass by but a beautiful woman riding a bicycle. All of a sudden he had these urges. He wanted to belch and wrestle and spend exhorbinate amounts of money at home depot.
He ran back to his house trying to rein in these emotions which were overwhelming him.
He decided to get dressed, but when he was done and turned around to face the mirror his reflection betrayed that he was wearing a pair of dungarees and a flannel shirt! The leftovers from a gay lumberjack skit he did at a drag show. He screamed and found his voice to be deep and manly..so he screamed again!
He ran to the living room and quickly put on a Judy Garland racourd. But even that was not enough to pull him back..our hero had found himself STRAIGHT!!!
Flame me I dare you
It was a day like any other in an average middle class suburb in Middle America. The sun rose on an average house where an average (and I'm being generous) writer was just waking up. Our average writer was quikly made alert when the average writer stepped on an exteremly large crate filled with the average writer's above average porn collection.
"Argh!" yelled our writer, "my toe is swelling up!!" But then brilliance (or brilliance's estranged cousin, mediocrity, depending on who you ask) struck our writer. "Swollen..swollen MEMBER!!" Quick as lightning our writer was off to the computer. Less quick however was the internet connection which caused a slight delay. But I digress.
As soon as word popped up our writer tried to set about doing what writers do: write (albeit poorly in our writers case). But that day, the one that had appeared so normal, turned out to be the strangest day our writer had ever experienced. Where he usually spewed forth a torrent of homosexual smut he now found himself blank.
He tried to console himself with the fact that all good writers got writers block. He figured some fresh air would help ease his mind and get him back into that dirty groove he loved so much.
He walked out to obtain the newspaper (the only link that remained between him and reality) and who should pass by but a beautiful woman riding a bicycle. All of a sudden he had these urges. He wanted to belch and wrestle and spend exhorbinate amounts of money at home depot.
He ran back to his house trying to rein in these emotions which were overwhelming him.
He decided to get dressed, but when he was done and turned around to face the mirror his reflection betrayed that he was wearing a pair of dungarees and a flannel shirt! The leftovers from a gay lumberjack skit he did at a drag show. He screamed and found his voice to be deep and manly..so he screamed again!
He ran to the living room and quickly put on a Judy Garland racourd. But even that was not enough to pull him back..our hero had found himself STRAIGHT!!!
Flame me I dare you