Disclaimer: I only own my oc's, currently known as 'Lilly' and 'Jasmine'.
ps. This is an idea I had after a really funky dream, criticism is welcome.
"Maybe your right" he answered softly
His tone so vulnerable and soft caught her off guard, it was as if he plucked out his heart and held it out just for her. "oh" she breathed out.
He looked so sad. She reached out and touched his face gently tracing her fingers along his jaw line. He winced as if it hurt and she nearly yanked her hand back. But for some reason she couldn't quit grasp, it only made her want to be closer to him, his heart. Common sense snatched her into reality when he pushed her hand away and marched out of the room, and out of her life.
She woke with a start feeling her wet cheeks and taking in the peacefulness of her dorm room thankful that her roommate was out for the night. Probably partying and getting drunk. After meeting professor Camilla Rodenhiem on her first day at ISU. Camilla insisted on being on a first name basis but Lilly was so used to using miss or Mr. that Camilla regularly had to correct her. Camilla liked Lilly right off and Lilly was grateful that Camilla with her long Black-as-coffee with streaks of cream hair was willing to help her with anything from homework and getting new scholarships, to paying for her dorm.
Jasmine was stuck, her companion for the night had come down with a serious case of the stomach flu and now she was trying to figure a way to get back to the dorm. Jasmine winced she knew she was stomping all over Lilly's hospitality With calling her in to rescue her on more than one occasion when a nervous new customer backed out after realizing what all night with her would entail. She had long ago learned to clearly spell out a no return policy. After all she had to pay for college and a place to fall into slumber at night, and she couldn't very well just give her services away freely. Jasmine finally scraped up the courage to push her pride away and call Lilly it was nearly five in the morning now, on the first ring Lilly picked it up.
A muffled hello sounded on the other end of the line and Jasmine imagined her friend freshly woken up from the nightmare that plagued her on occasions. Someday Jasmine would need to find out just what happened that scarred Lilly so badly she couldn't talk about it. Lilly immediately agreed to come and even offered to take Jasmine out to eat, Lilly knew Jasmine didn't eat hardly, and Jasmine couldn't say no to Lilly's friendship so Jasmine easily agreed to go down to the local IHOP for an early morning breakfast.
It was dark still and it was sprinkling when Lilly marched out to her bug, thankful she had gotten the leak in the moon roof fixed. She dashed the last few feet to her bug as the rain began to pelt her. Her nightmare seemed to plague her more often than not, and the helpless feeling of not being good enough felt like a stab wound to the heart, Except a stab wound might just hurt less.
When she pulled up to the dilapidated motel where Jasmine was, a burly man somewhere in his forties sat on a bench seat on the wraparound porch and the rain poured buckets down now, as if feeling her pain. Almost immediately Jasmine appeared in a short black skirt, a very revealing halter style black blouse, biker jacket, and black boots that came up to her knees. Her hair once prettily crimped, now flattened in some places and sticking out in odd directions. Jasmine ran to the passenger side door and quickly slipped in. The burly man got up and began walking toward them, in no mood to be haggled out of her money Lilly drove off immediately toward the nearest IHOP.
Walking into the dry warm IHOP, Lilly could already taste the chocolate chip and strawberry pancakes and vanilla coffee. A calming fragrance after her most recent nightmare episode. "You had it again didn't you?" Jasmine asked interrupting her thoughts.
Lilly blew out a breath "Yeah" it made her feel better that someone cared.
"You gonna tell me or not?" Jasmine's matter of fact tone implied she wouldn't be offended if Lilly didn't tell her but Lilly felt it was time to let
her friend know just what plagued her every sleeping hour, and sometimes woke Jasmine up. Lilly nodded her head and motioned to a corner booth, they slid in and in a couple minutes the waitress who looked like she got up on the wrong side of the bed took their order and moved off swiftly to fill it. "So?" Jasmine prodded.
"It started when I was fifteen, he was two years older than me, it was an infatuation at the time" Lilly took a breath and continued. "He started paying attention to me a year later, his friends had ditched him and so he hung out with me and a couple of my friends. Nothing happened for a few months, and then out of the blue he said it." She paused and took a forced breath, she felt like she hadn't breathed for
an eternity. "He said he loved me, I don't know what caused him to say it or if he meant it. But it made my heart flutter just the same. We never actually dated but he hinted at a relationship for a long time. Three years after the youth group event, I began to notice a war going on inside of him and whenever I asked he would push me away."
Lilly took another deep breath and had to force herself to continue. "Eventually he finally told me what was bothering him, and in between the lines I read that he thought I was too young for him. It hurt, he was leaving in just three months for Marine boot camp and he said it wouldn't work between us. I was in a lot more pain than I thought I could handle, and it wasn't until he left that it truly dawned on me. I wasn't good enough for him, never was, and the day he told me so has been with me ever since." Lilly finished and sipped her coffee trying to swallow the lump that lodged itself in her throat and waited for Jasmine's response, it didn't come. She looked up and Jasmine just sat there "I wish that Michael hadn't just walked out, hadn't made me feel like I wasn't enough."
Jasmine couldn't find any words to say. How could Lilly's God be so loving and let the man she loved walk out of her life. "That doesn't sound fair."
"I know."
"Well I don't know about you but that piece of trash didn't deserve you."
"Well that's not the end either."
"What do you mean?"
"Well when I went home a little later I found the door locked and my belongings strewn across the yard. Apparently I wasn't good enough for my dad either". Lilly's tone brightened "But hey on the bright side if I hadn't been forced out I wouldn't have met you."
"Wait, You wanted to meet me?"
"Well not at first but hey under your tough-as-nails wall, you're just a big ole softie." Lilly nudged her friend playfully.
A few days later:
Lilly tried to forget, tried to wake up, but it was no use the nightmare wouldn't go away. It hurt each and every time she had to relive the day he left, the day he tore part of her heart out. The day she realized, she would never be enough for anyone... She sat up and knocked heads with Jasmine.
"Ouch!" the girls said in unison.
"Sorry." jasmine said.
"it's ok, whats up?"
"Ok so I just got a call from Camilla and she said that she took that job at CUNY (The City College of New York). She said that if we want to that the college will accept us with a full ride scholarship!" Jasmine started jumping up and down on her knees as she finished.
"OK, why are we talking about this?" Lilly asked groggily.
"Um cause we need to transfer to finish our degrees, you always said you wanted to visit new york, now we can do it together!"
This is where I have left off, I am not sure where I am taking this... Any advice is welcome.