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A Job for the Code Writers

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"Ladies... oh, and gentleman," Captain Willoughby-Smith added with a courteous nod to his one male code writer in one of Bletchley Park's grand rooms.

Mr. Clinger nodded to him in acknowledgement, and the Captain continued.

"We have received a new task from HQ. An important mission is in preparation, which under no circumstances must become known to the enemy. That's why the codewriting for it has been assigned to two different departments, and we have been chosen for the second leg of the encoding."

Hesitantly, Ms. Jones raised her hand a little, but Willoughby-Smith would never fail to notice any movement the pretty girl made. "Yes, Ms. Jones?"

"This... this important mission, sir, is it... D-Day?" She almost whispered the last word.

Captain Willoughby-Smith shook his head. "I am not at liberty to say. In fact, I do not know myself. All I know, is that we have been given some lines of code, and it is our task to disguise them, so that the enemy will not suspect them to be a code for our operatives."

There were a few nods around.

"So what exactly do we do?" Ms. Jenkins asked.

The Captain took a good breath. "The messages have already been coded. Ours is the task to work these coded lines into stories - as inconspicuously and as naturally as we can, and without changing a single letter or even a comma. Speechmarks may be added indeed, but nothing in the phrases can be changed. The operatives will know what to look for and pick them out of the text immediately, but for the enemy, the coded lines must look like they're just part of the story. Nothing special. Is that clear?"

Nods all around this time.

"So does everyone take one of those coded lines for a story? Or do we have to include all of them in one story?" Ms. Hope inquired.

"No, no, no. It won't hurt to use all of the codes in one story, but the basic task is to write a story using only one of the lines. But more can be used, yes." He smirked. "I know you are all good writers. If you have enough time, you could always write more than one story."

Mr. Clinger frowned. "What do you mean, 'if we have enough time'? There is a deadline then?"

"Yes." Captain Willoughby-Smith looked at his papers. "All stories are to be handed in on Saturday, June 6th. No earlier, no later, but Saturday, June 6th. As a matter of fact, the stories are not to be shown to anyone, or discussed with anyone, before Saturday, June 6th. Each of your stories is Top Secret until that date - for your eyes only!"

"And how long should the stories be?" Ms. Tennyson asked.

"Let me see... Between 1000 and 5000 words - no more, no less." The Captain looked around. "Any more questions? Or shall I give you the coded lines to be included?"

"Yes - give us the lines!" some people called.

"Okay. Here you go, in alphabetical order:

Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?

E.T. phone home.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!

Good thing it wasn't the goldfish!

I see you've managed to get your shirt off.

If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go crazy.

I'm too frightened to be scared.

It's the simple things in life you treasure.

It was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Put the candle back.

Whoever wrote this episode should die!

You're gonna need a bigger boat.

So pick your line, make sure you don't change a single letter or comma of it, and start writing, ladies and gentleman! See how many stories these lines can inspire by Saturday, June 6th!"

Everyone grabbed their notepad and their pencil, but... "Um... Captain, sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Clinger?"

"What do we write about?"

Captain Willoughby-Smith gave him an exasperated look. "About our fictional heroes in Nazi Germany of course: Hogan's Heroes!"

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Author's note: So just to make sure everything is clear: you are challenged to write a HH story using one (or more) of the 13 lines above. Use the line in your story in a most natural, inconspicuous way, to have it blend in into a HH story without standing out (so the enemy code breakers won't pay any special attention to it).

Unlike previous years, you can use the line anywhere you want in the story. It doesn't necessarily have to be the opening line.

The story must have a minimum of 1000 words (and lengthy author's notes and disclaimers in order to reach the 1000 will get your story disqualified - the *story* must be at least 1000 words!), and a maximum of 5000 words. FFnet's word count goes.

All genres are allowed, including poetry, crossovers and slash, as long as they abide by the guidelines. Not allowed however are crackfics (random rambling without a plot), and the quoting of existing song lyrics and poetry - it has to be *your* work, not someone else's.

You may enter as many stories as you want.

All stories are to be posted two weeks from today, on D-Day, Saturday June 6th, or as close to that date as possible in case you have no chance of getting online that day.

The challenge is open to everyone who wants to try his/her hand at it.

Each qualifying entry will raise at least 8 USD for some assorted charities: the Holocaust Museum (Sgt. Moffitt), a German Shepherd Rescue Centre (Bits and Pieces), the Anne Frank House (konarciq) and a yet to be determined charity (Abracadebra). If you would like to use the occasion for a charitable donation yourself, just let me know and we'll be happy to add you to the list.

So here's to fruitful writing - that it may snow stories on June 6th!

Oh, and one more thing: in your story, E.T. can not stand for a cute little extraterrestrial!