I DONT OWN IT!!!
I HATE THEM, I screamed to myself, I hate them for killing James; I hate him for going and leaving me with no real reason to do anything… They had killed him, so now I would kill, I would kill, I would kill, I was straining to think of a safe way for me to hurt them, in particular to hurt Edward. Then suddenly it hit me, that human girl, the one who caused all the problems. But I couldn't go there, not now. I will get Laurent to go for me, check it out, see where they are, if their clan has grown, and, to eliminate any signs of danger for me. He will come back and tell me it is safe and I will go and KILL that weak frail human girl. They can do NOTHING to stop me. But, I only have to convince Laurent to do that for me… Why did he have to make that deal with that clan… ugh! I hate them! "Laurent," I yelled. "I need you to do something for me." There was no need for me to yell, but I did, for effect.
"What, Victoria?" He demanded, I hate when he is impatient.
"I need you to go and make sure it is safe for me to return to Forks."
"And why would you want me to do that." He asked.
"I want to hurt them for what they did to James, to me, I want them to feel the same thing I am doomed to feel everyday for the rest of my long existence. Pain, a pain that is so excruciatingly … real, and the most real emotion I have felt for a long time." I stated, with so much emotion, I could hardly believe that it came from me.
"I understand that you are upset but-"
"NO!" I screamed, cutting him off. "No trying to be civil with me it won't work! I am going to go to Forks to kill that weak frail girl, the one they welcomed into their clan, the one they accepted. Edward will hurt like I do."
"Fine, if you will stop sulking I will leave tomorrow." He said, I intended to hold him to that promise.
All night he tried to reason with me, "what did she do to you?" "Cant you just settle it with Edward?" "How can you justify doing to him what he did to you? Then wouldn't you deserve to be punished for it?"
I helped him pack, I bought his plane ticket and I made it non-transferable, so he couldn't go somewhere else and claim to have helped me. I did everything I could think of to prevent him going back on his word. He left this morning, in a bad mood. He didn't say goodbye at the airport, he just scowled at me and boarded that plane. Now I am all alone, nothing to do. Perhaps I should call, just to- NO, no, I mustn't do that. I need him to trust that I trust him or he will betray me.
I can't have him betraying me, then I would be alone and more vulnerable than I have ever been, except maybe when I was human, but who can say? I know no-one of our kind who remembers their human life. I would love to remember my life as a human, I mean, who wouldn't? I wonder what would be a typical day for a human, I will find out tomorrow, something to distract me from being lonely. I wonder if I could befriend one, just long enough to find out what they do, the last part was more to reassure myself then anything. I DON'T want to befriend a human, I repeated to myself. I let my thoughts wonder for a while until it was an acceptable hour to go find a human.
I will go to the… park… no not the park to open, too sunny, the mall. Yes that is good; I will go to the mall and befriend a human by… hmm, I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
"Hi." I said to a shy, small looking girl.
"umm…" she said looking to make sure I was talking to her. "Hi."
"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked trying to look innocent, nice.
"No, go ahead."
We continued on with the awkward small talk, I was zoning in and out of the conversation and answering at appropriate times.
After about an hour of this, I invited her for a walk. Human pace is so frustratingly annoying. Then I was invited to her house for a dinner party she was holding for her and her few friends, hmm, dinner party, food is served, I debated going for a while before saying that I would love to. God what have I done?!
Have I gone as insane as I think I have? Can loneliness really drive even me to do crazy things?
THAT'S IT I AM CALLING HIM!
Ok I know the second half isnt the best in the world, but I was stuck and I really wanted to upload.