A/N: My poor poor attempt at a Paul x Bella. Here goes nothing...

OoO

And the same as before, Jacob left. My only crutch resisting the darkness Edward left me shrouded in.

The pain came back. Cold, aching. And I found myself staring out my window broken as before.

He wasn't coming back. I tried.

In the pouring down rain, I accosted him only for him to sneer at me and tell me to leave and never come back. The height my heart fell was just…

I was sick the next day. Charlie brought me soup before his shift. I laid in bed all day. Not showering, eat, barely moving. Time passed before I acknowledged it. I was out of it. In and out of sleeping. Forcing myself back to sleep just so I wouldn't feel the pain.

Another day passed. The sun had risen. Charlie came in to check on me before he went to bed.

"Bells?" A tentative whisper.

Jake used to call me that.

I suffocated myself in the sheets.

"Uh, you didn't touch your soup. You want me to make you some'more? Maybe give you an ibuprofen or two? You always did get headaches when you got sick. Your sinus being congested and all…"

"Bells?"

…

He wasn't going to leave until I said something. Anything. I just really wanted to be alone right now.

"No…dad. I'm fine. Go to bed."

Silence.

He palmed his mustache.

"Well, alright Bells. You can uh, talk about it when you're ready, I guess. I'm going to go take a shower. 'Left you a sandwich on the table."

I nodded, and he left.

ooo

Charlie never actually knew what transpired between me and Jake. He still had Billy and Harry over on Sundays. So Billy probably never mentioned it. Jake's mysterious pneumonia…

The third Sunday of October, dad had announced we were heading over to Billy's for a cookout. I refused to go, and relentlessly he insisted. I should've fought more, but a piece of me didn't want to cause any more heartache for Charlie. He had worried enough.

Dad was off today, so around 9 we headed to the grocery store. The atmosphere was…light. The lack of people, white florescent lights, our small talk. It was nice. A small comforting action that surprisingly made me feel better. I laughed a little. A few small ones here and there while we wandered through the aisles.

"Steak, or hamburgers?"

He pondered over the packaged meat selection for a minute. I hadn't quite gotten my appetite back, so I shrugged.

"Whatever you want dad."

He huffed.

"I mean, Harry says that the boys eat a lot so I was just thinking what would be better…"

We stayed for a bit, in the open. "You Know I'm No Good"* was playing over the intercom. I shivered a bit.

"Well…how about I just get both. You know, two of each. Bells, you want to get some kabobs?"

"Sure..."

He tossed the white packages into the basket before moving on, me close by.

ooo

The cookout had been a mistake. Obviously. Jake was there, cult included, and occasionally one would glance my way. I never looked up from my book. I was reading The Fisherman. Igbo culture; Post Westernization. An assigned English book, that surprisingly I was enjoying. The emotions were sincere.

But my diversion fell through.

The cookout was outside of Billy's place. 'Few aged tables and seats around his backyard.

Around 20 people had attended. The Clearwaters, and people of the sort. Everyone was talking and having a decent time, until Billy decided to be courteous.

"Bella!"

He waved a bit to get my attention. He was seated near my dad and Harry, who manned the grill.

"You hungry?"

Two sets of eyes snapped to me.

Uley, the cult leader himself, and Jake.

"N-no! It's okay Billy!..Thanks!"

I shrunk more into the garden seat distanced away from the event.

"Nonsense! Come get a hamburger!"

…

I wasn't given the option of saying no, so slowly I got up and made my over to the grill, passing the group of 5 hulking Quileute men.

"Leech lover."

It was murmured, followed by a low laughs.

I kept walking until I made it over to Charlie.

"Hey Bells. Burger or kabob?"

He took a small sip of his beer.

"Either is fine…"

"Kabob it is. Hey Harry!"

"On it!"

I watched as he grabbed the slightly charred stick and dropped it on a paper plate for me to take.

"Bbq?" He asked smiling.

"Ah, no thanks."

I nodded my thanks before crossing back over to my seat.

I made eye contact with one of Sam's disciples. The leering one that blatantly dared me to say anything;About him, Jake, or even his cult.

My feet stopped moving.

His expression softened.

My lips unknowingly parted.

We were making eye contact. His were a rich amber, reflecting unrecognizable sentiment that interrupted my train of thought.

…

I was quick to break away, attempting to avoid confrontation and simply return to my seat. He wouldn't stop looking though.

"Paul."

Sam Uley's domineering voice.

"Fuck man…"

Embry. Or at least what was left of him.

They all turned to me. Confusion riddled on Jake's face, amusement on Embry's, and a grim shadow overlaying Sam's stern expression. Only God knew what it meant. And I wasn't planning on staying to find out.

Promptly I pivoted and headed back to Charlie, all the while 5 pair of eyes following me.

"Bell?" He said.

I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Dad, can I go?"

"Why?" He actually made an effort to keep his voice low.

"I'm not feeling well."

"What's up?"

I grimaced.

"uh…Period."

Enough said.

He fished the keys to the truck out his pocket. He cleared his throat.

"I'll uh, catch a ride with Harry. Go on."

OoO

A/N: I chose any old song because who actually pays attention to the music in supermarkets. For now, the pack consists of Sam, Jared, Paul, Em, and Jake. Also is it just me or does it feel like no one really cares about Jared? Like I mentioned everyone's name except his lol. But you know, tell me if you want me to continue this fic.