Sasha sighed as she just finished putting clean dishes in the cupboards. The past few days had been tough, and very complicated to handle emotionally. Ashley and Sam had left earlier in the morning. Tom hadn't spoken to her and had gone straight to work. They had met a few times in the buildings, barely looking at each other and she couldn't shake the idea he might had deliberately tried to avoid her. Although the teenager and her father had left each other in good terms, she could feel that Tom was still upset by the words she had told him yesterday. It wasn't his type to confess easily, not even to her. He never confided in his demons and dark thoughts. But she knew that with a little time she would be able to know what was bothering him.
As she had suspected it, Tom had worked way overtime and went home late at night. She had stayed awake until then, keeping herself busy in the house. She needed to talk with him about what had happened and she was feeling a bit tensed at the thought of bringing the subject on the table. He had been pretty harsh on her these past few weeks, because of the work pressure and the conflicts with his kids. She didn't want to throw another fight at him.
Sasha felt her body tense as she heard the front door slamming, meaning he was home. When he didn't come greet her, she realized the situation was much more critical than she had imagined.
She didn't wait any longer and put the dishes towel on the kitchen counter. She walked to the living room, looking after him. After taking a quick look at the surrounding, she found him outside on the patio, leaning against the windowsill. She approached him from behind and leaned against the doorframe. She crossed her arms against her chest.
Tom was looking straight ahead. He'd immediately been aware of her presence. He knew it was only a matter of time before Sasha would come across him to talk about the fight with the kids. He knew how stubborn she could be and he had no other way of escaping the discussion anymore. He had tried to push the fateful moment away as far as possible. Even though he could no longer avoid it, he still didn't want to open up to anyone. Not even to the woman he was sharing his life with.
He slightly turned his head over his shoulder to acknowledge her presence, without crossing her eyes.
"Tom, please. You haven't said a word since they left." She paused, hoping he would say something. Instead, he turned his head away from her. "Talk to me." She was now begging him. She stood in silence considering whether she should keep going or give up. She was tired, and she felt like she was facing an impassable wall.
"Alright, I get it. I'm heading to bed, if you ever decide to join me." Her tone was harsher than she had wished it to be. She straightened herself and let her arms drop along her sides. She looked at him one more time before turning her back to him and walked away.
"Ashley was right." Sasha stopped her steps at the sound of his voice reaching her ears. She turned again to his direction. "I wasn't there."
"Tom…" She softly breathed out as she walked outside.
And you weren't there. The words had been echoing in his head since they had left his daughter's mouth and it felt like a knife slicing his heart. He had never really imagined how much Ashley had held him responsible for her mother's death. How much she had been mad at him for his absence.
"I wasn't there to save her." His voice turned to a whisper and he looked conflicted. As she absorbed his words, her expression went from tense to relieved, and then on to something sad.
"Tom, look at me." She softly placed a hand against his right cheek. He finally looked up and met her tender piercing blue eyes.
"There was nothing you could have done. Nothing." Her voice was warm and gentle. But even with all the will in the world, no words would ever convince him otherwise.
"I'm the one who should have died. It would have been easier for everyone." He slightly lowered his head and his jaw tightened.
Sasha felt like her heart was being brutally wrenched from her body and she fought hard against the pain crushing her chest.
"Don't ever say that again." Her throat was tight, her eyes blurring from tears. "You saved the world."
"I saved the world, but I failed my family. I failed her, Sasha. I failed them." He whispered in a cracked voice. She could see the man so usually strong, slowly letting his walls down one after the other.
She carefully brought her face to his. She dropped a light kiss on his temple then rested her cheek against it.
"Ashley loves you. Sam loves you. They know what you're going through. They know their father's doing everything in his power to protect them. But you are not God, Tom. You cannot save everyone." Her words reached his ear in a sweet melody. He was tired of fighting his demons, tired of fighting the war. He had seen too much misery, death, blood, distress. He was haunted by memories, by the faces of his friends, his late wife, his father and all those lives lost at the cost of peace. He was no longer the same man. He no longer wanted this role of hero which everyone acclaimed him for. His eyes were filling with tears but he tried to look brave. She leaned back just enough to turn her head. Her nose slightly brushed his jaw along the way until she reached his mouth. Her lips covered his in a warm and loving kiss. His strong arms encircled her waist and drew her body against his, as close as he could. He needed to feel her. The warmness of her body was something comforting to lean in.
As she broke the kiss, she slid her right hand behind his neck and he nestled his head instinctively in the crook of her neck. He closed his eyes and he could feel her hot breath tickling his ear.
"You're a good father, a good man. I love you, and I'm here for you. Always." She felt his body shaking softly as he let out a sharp and trembling breath. He could no longer contain the sobs.
"It's gonna be okay." She whispered in a weak and trembling voice, fighting against the tears at her turn. They were clinging to each other in a loving and desperate embrace; and she tightened her grip, hoping to hold together the pieces of his broken soul.