Remember
His shallow yet apparent breathing was music to his ears as he leaned closer to him, making their noses touch each other. He could feel his soft blonde locks in his pale, delicate clutch, his pair of gray panes locked on the submissive pair of brown orbs.
"K-kaneki…" He could hear him stutter his words oh so softly that it kills him. He only realized that he was crying when droplets of what he could presume as tears made its way into his lover's unusually pale cheeks, sliding down towards his ear and the fact that his sight had blurred.
He wanted him so so much that he separated himself from him, because he knew that he would break when the other would realize that he was a ghoul. And yet, when he found out, he accepted him and went as far as going after him.
But it's too late. It's all too late—
He managed to choke out a small, "Hide" as he crouched, his forehead bumping into the other who was underneath him, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry…" He apologized, his other hand tightening its grasp on the other's hand, as it was intertwined.
"It's okay, Kaneki. I'm okay and you're gonna be okay too. I swear." Hide reassured and for the first time, he doubted his words when he knew that Hide was always right.
Hide closed the space between them, His lips clashing unto his best friend turned ghoul, and Kaneki opened his mouth to permit the entry of the other. Their tongues battled for dominance and the albino's hands once again worked its magic as he touched him mildly, making Hide visibly shiver and groan at the action.
Kaneki traced the other's bare chest before going down and down, unfastening the button on Hide's pants and slowly zipping his fly down. He could feel the others hardness on his palm and Kaneki purposely broke the passionate kiss to see how the other had moaned his name.
It was so foreign to him, too foreign that he couldn't help but remember the position the other was right now, and the pang of guilt was once again back, gnawing at his heart, making him pay for what he has done, torturing him so much that that bastard Yamori's sadistic actions felt so light.
He stopped, and he wanted to cry again.
"It's okay, Kaneki. This is what I want." Hide comforted and he wanted to melt. He wanted for the time to do him a favor just this once and stop. He couldn't bear him gone. How could he? He was everything to him. He was what made him as what he is today. He was the only light he could see in his fucked up life.
But what could he do right now?
He nodded at his words, trying to smile― trying to be happy for the last time that both of them would spend. Trying to be happy for he was finally his just like how he dreamed for him to be. Trying to be happy because it was his last request.
He tugged and pulled the other male's pants gently to not to agitate the wound on the other's stomach, and when it had successfully unlatched itself on Hide's skin, he once again leaned and delved on the other's sweet mouth. Tasting him and implanting it on his memory so he would never forget.
Kaneki touched his erection as Hide whimpered in pure bliss, the albino's fingers then settled on the blonde's hole, inserting a finger. Hide had a look of pain but Kaneki continued. He knew that Hide would've said that he should. He then inserted another finger and scissored its way for it to adapt.
After a good minute, the artificial ghoul removed his fingers and placed his throbbing wholeness just before the hole that his now wet fingers had occupied earlier, glancing at the blonde for confirmation and when he nodded, he plunged in.
Hide half-screamed and half-growled in sheer pain as Kaneki continued, a bit hesitant since he was afraid that the wound on the investigator's stomach might spill more blood. "Hide, should I—"
"Just—Just do it, Kaneki." Hide retched out between intense low screaming.
Kaneki's skepticism seemingly disappeared like it had never been there as he resumed his slow onslaught and when he finished lodging himself on the other's hot and tight cavern, he felt complete like he has never been before. He felt content and he knows why.
After seconds of staying still, Hide opened his teary eyes, mouthing him to move. And he did.
He thrust slowly, and when Hide's facial expression changed from pain to that of pleasure, he hurried his thrusts, realizing that he might have hit the other's prostrate.
"F-FASTER!"
And Kaneki obeyed, feeling great himself. He never thought that Hide would permit him to do this, never in his wildest dream. But he did. And he followed, because he comprehends that he will never be able to do it with him again, as much as he wanted him to.
When the albino could feel him on his peak, he circled his palm around Hide's wholeness and slid it up and down, with the intention that both of them release together.
"I'M CUMMING, KANEKI!" The blonde informed and Kaneki smiled softly, "Let's come together."
It didn't take long for them to release, with Hide first and Kaneki after him, as they both shivered in satisfaction.
Kaneki slumped forward and the sweet smell invaded his nose. It was by then that he realized, how incredibly faded had Hide's skin color become and the large pool of blood splattering on the waxed wood.
A cold hand cupped the side of his cheek and the albino looked towards the other, life draining out of his face and the light in his eyes were slowly dimming. "Than-k… you… Kaneki.."
Kaneki grabbed the other's hand as tears started to roll from his eyes once again. "Hide…. Please..Don't leave me alone! Don't close your eyes!"
"S-silly.. you were never …alone.." Hide breathed out, "Don't-… forget that.."
And his life vanished, and for such a long time, he cried so hard. Harder than when his mother died. Harder than when he found out that he had become a ghoul. Harder than when he told Amon to not make him eat him and to run away. Harder than when Yamori placed a centipede on his ears. Harder than he ever cried in his whole life.
He was gone and he was never coming back. To him. To his arms.
All he could remember was how he dressed himself, how he wrapped the corpse of his best friend he fucked just a few moments ago in a white pure sheet, and how he burned the Anteiku to the ground and strolled outside, carrying the limp body, and how he met a white-haired middle aged man with a suitcase as the said man fixed his glasses and the flashing lights of the helicopters on the atmosphere with its deafening sound.
It doesn't matter anymore, he thought. Everything doesn't matter anymore.
Sasaki Haise's eyes shot open as he quickly sat up, covering half of his face and catching his breath. What was that? Who was that? And that person just before the dream ended, was that Kishou Arima? He clutched his head, groaning. 'IthurtsIthurtsIthurts—'
"Don't escape from your sin."
Haise twisted his head to the side and saw an albino who impressively looked like him as the said albino eyed him in a disdainful manner.
"W-who?"
The albino trotted towards him, "Did you forget because it was way more convenient for you?"
"H-huh? What do you—"
The albino's left eye turned black, iris becoming crimson, and Haise couldn't gape more than he just did. The albino brought their faces inches apart and he spoke, "I am you. Accept me. Accept all your sins. Accept your Pain. Accept your Promises. Accept your Past. You are not a ghoul Investigator called 'Sasaki Haise', you are…."
Haise's mouth closed as it parted, but then closed once more. His face was struck with utter realization, "That's right. I'm…"
"Kaneki Ken."
A/N: A BIRTHDAY FIC FOR FUWAG HOPE YOU LIKED IT BC I DO NOT WRITE PORN AND IDK I THINK YOU LIKE PORN SO YEAH.
東京喰種-トーキョーグール- © Ishida Sui