"Something in relation to this quote from Alias:
"In my mind I can't tell the difference between what he made me do or say and what I do or say on my own. The only reason I know I wasn't in love with him is that I say to myself: How could I be? I hate him. That's it. That's what my sanity is holding on to. But that's where it ends. Other than that it feels like I was in love with him."
A burst of lightning lit up the room forcing Jessica's eyes open, even if it only hung for a millisecond. Kilgrave was unmoved by the flash, instead murmuring slightly as Jess got up out of bed to get a glass of water.
As she walked down the hallway to the bathroom where said glass sat, she glanced at a clock which sat on the burgundy-painted wall; 4:56 it read, still a number of hours before Kilgrave would likely rise from bed.
As she reached the bathroom and switched on the light, a small murmur appeared at the back of her mind. Initially, she indulged it and listened in: Jess, you know it isn't right. You know you don't want to be here…
She turned away, blocking the thought from her mind and downing the full glass of water. Her vision returned to the mirror in front of her as the glass clunked slightly against the sink, and for a moment she saw her mind – broken at the hands of an evil man-
"No," she cursed at herself, but she was unable to break this image from her mind, of her lost, despondent… all alone at Kilgrave's beck and call.
"JESSICA? Where are you, darling?" Oh great, he's up-
"Stop it," She murmured to no-one in particular as she saw the Brit stumble up out of bed and towards her over her shoulder in the mirror. He got closer to her and she put on a smile, but whether she was fooling her captor (no, lover) or herself was yet to be seen.
"Are you okay?" He asked lazily, placing one hand on her right shoulder and stroking up her vest-covered back with the other.
"Of course I am!" She responded gleefully, while one corner of her mind sighed and tutted at her.
After a moment of silence where Jessica expected some instruction of where their love would take them next, Kilgrave yawned before proclaiming "Well if you're alright I'll go back to bed. See you in a bit."
As he headed back to the bedroom, Jess couldn't help looking back at him with mouth slightly open. You see? Her thoughts whispered, he doesn't care as long as you're here. You're his.
She couldn't believe it, didn't want to, this man she loved so strongly… or did she? Thinking back the last time he'd asked her to do anything was… well, last night. He headed out at 8 o'clock at night to play poker (that egotistic side of him coming through) and told Jessica not to go to bed too late.
In fact, Jessica headed to bed as soon as he left so as not to disappoint and lay there. That made it nearly nine hours since she had received orders (no, directions) from Kilgrave, and all of a sudden she felt an overwhelmingly warm sense that something wasn't right flood back into her mind.
"What are you doing in there?" Kilgrave called from the bedroom, and just before she was about to answer honestly her mind cried Wait! Think of something more… acceptable.
"Just thinking," was the best thing her mind could come up with under the pressure, and Kilgrave scoffed.
"Well you don't want to be doing that, it's dangerous. Stop it."
All of a sudden, her mind cleared, and those warm thoughts about something-or-other were replaced with equally warm and inviting thoughts about the man in the bed they shared, and how he lay there only in his boxers with messy hair.
"Come back to bed," he called, and out of nowhere that was what she wanted to do, more than anything; returning to bed seemed the best idea in the world.
She strolled back to the bedroom after another half-glass of water, running her hand along the wall of the corridor as she went, before looking into the room and seeing Kilgrave, appearing mildly bemused at her actions while propping himself up on the bed with his elbow.
Crawling back under the cover with him was a wonderful feeling, especially as he exhaled deeply and happily while sliding back down onto his back, with an arm wrapped around Jessica.
A few breaths later and he seemed to have dropped rather blissfully back into sleep, just leaving Jess to return too. But as she fell asleep, a small nudge appeared from the back of her conscience:
"Don't forget – you hate him. You. Hate. Kilgrave."