I think I'll miss this place.
After countless lives, this is the one that Murata Ken is sure will be the best, most fascinating one. But perhaps he had thought that before. It didn't matter. It was this life that he loved, the life he wanted to hold tightly to, lest it slip away too soon.
It started off so simply and continued that way for so many years that he had started to wonder whether there had been some sort of mistake. Then, in middle school, he met Shibuya Yuuri and everything changed. It did not change for Yuuri, but for Murata the world spun and twirled and from the instant their eyes met he knew—knew that Yuuri was going to be the most important person in this life. Yuuri, this oblivious, gentle, wonderful boy, was going to be a king to rival Shinou himself. Murata knew this, but he kept silent and kept his distance because he knew it wasn't the right time just yet. And so the Sage and the Maoh coexisted, lives borderline overlapping but never reaching far enough even to call each other "friends." Classmates. Acquaintances. Murata Ken and Shibuya Yuuri.
Sometimes, Murata would catch a tiny flicker of Shinou in Yuuri. The way he stood up for others, his sense of justice, the way he held himself in those moments reminded Murata of his long-absent friend. In those moments, when it hurt the most to look at Yuuri, he told himself he would not get too close, would not put his heart on the line, because this wasn't Shinou and he couldn't let himself think, even for a moment, that this would be love. A safe distance away, he watched and he waited, never sure whether he was meant to reach out or pull back, and so settled for something that was neither and never satisfied him.
Years passed. Yuuri got a little older, but he was still the same person inside, still pure and innocent and unblemished. Murata was afraid to get near him because he loved that purity and didn't want to tarnish it with his presence, with his past. It still hurt a little to look at the other boy, but he had grown used to the bittersweet heartache to the point where he only noticed it on his worst days. In the meantime, he let Yuuri continue with his everyday life and didn't trouble him, knowing that soon there would be trouble enough.
It was that day soon enough and he knew it from the moment his eyes opened on that morning. He was restless throughout the day and barely took his eyes off of the other boy, expecting him to disappear at any moment. It was rather annoying when he didn't.
Murata didn't particularly care about "bullies," not those stupid older boys who just wanted quick cash and the pleasure of beating up someone smaller than them. Most of the time, he ignored those sort, knowing they were, in the end, harmless, and there were much worse things to be thinking about.
But that day, when they came up to him, something told him that it was important, so he played the fool, the wimp, the nerd, what they wanted to see. He pretended they intimidated him, even though he wasn't sure why he needed to. Then Yuuri came. Shibuya Yuuri, just an ordinary teenager pedaling by, who stopped, hesitated, and then proceeded to defend a boy he knew nothing about. This is it, Murata thought, and though he felt bad about the "running away," it had to be done. A few minutes later, he knew Yuuri was in Shinmakoku and wondered what it was like because, in this life, he'd never been there.
He felt oddly homesick as he waited for Yuuri to return. He almost wished he had gone along for the ride, but that wouldn't be right. There's still some time before he can come clean to Yuuri about everything. For now, though, he thinks it might be okay to become more than acquaintances when Yuuri returns. He has gone far too long without any friends in this life, and it seems acceptable now.
When Yuuri returns, he's dripping wet, his pants are open, and he's wearing a thong. It's all Murata can do not to burst out laughing because this is so wonderfully Yuuri and so wonderfully not like a king at all. Instead, he points it out gently (kind of), Yuuri stammers excuses, and he keeps smiling because he knows now that this life is going to be much more fun with this new Maoh around. He feels lucky to be the one Yuuri confides in on Earth, even if they won't be discussing the important things until later. For now, it is enough to know Yuuri's feelings regarding his family, his friends, his hobbies, the everyday things that are really more important and make Yuuri human, and make him the sort of person who really deserves to be Maoh, even though he has no knowledge of it. Murata hoped it would last a long time.
It did, he supposed, in the end, but nearly everything seems so fleeting and short to him now that his time with Yuuri as normal teenage boys ended in seconds. It's tough to be with him in Shinmakoku, even though it's nice to be home, because they both know there's something the other can't say just yet and neither can start that conversation until much later.
It's an oddly stressful yet comforting conversation when they do have it aboard a boat just as the sun is going down. Murata is glad it's Yuuri then, because Yuuri is one of those people who, while disliking having things hidden from him, always knows what to say to make someone feel right again.
You're definitely MuraKen.
That was all he ever really needed to hear. The sea breeze feels so much warmer after those words, the air softer. He would hug Yuuri, but doesn't, partially because Wolfram would kill him and partially because this isn't the time or place and words are enough for now.
It's only later, when all their adventures seem to be over and they've gone home for what feels like the last time, that Murata allows himself that privilege of holding the king close. Except now it's Yuuri that needs the comfort, because he's had to leave behind a place he loves with all his heart, a place that is just as important as his Earth home, and all the people there who are important to him. They are important to Murata too, but he is used to goodbyes. To Yuuri, this boy with such a kind soul, it is cruel to take away what he so dearly loved, and so Murata holds him and holds him and holds him until he's not sure where he ends and Yuuri begins and they fall asleep in each other's arms. In the morning, they will move on, but for now Yuuri can allow himself this weakness and Murata can indulge him and try and make up for what has been lost, however futile it is.
Once Yuuri is back on his feet and a few days have passed, Murata begins to feel like there's something he's missing. The uncertainty grows and grows until one day, when he and Yuuri are walking home, he feels the urge to just shove him into the water and see what happens, and amazingly enough, it works, and Yuuri starts to smile again.
When Yuuri is happy, the world seems brighter to Murata. He knows the feeling is foolish and unfounded, but it is true. And, as time begins to pass once more in Shinmakoku, Murata comes to understand his feelings, though they cannot be named. He does not love Yuuri, not the romantic kind of love—he'll leave those feelings to Wolfram and wish the "wimp" all the best with his fiancé. No, it is a sort of familial, pure, brotherly love that he feels for Yuuri. He understands Shouri a little better now, since watching Yuuri mature makes him feel like a proud older sibling, wanting to guide and protect the king as he must learn about the things that make life harder. He is more than a friend; he is the family that Murata never had the pleasure of having, in any of his lives. Yuuri is home.
He is sure Yuuri understands it this way too, because the naïve Maoh always comes by to the temple to check on him, always seems to understand when he's having a bad day and they don't need to talk, always holds him as someone precious after all they've been through. Perhaps, he hopes, he can be part of Yuuri's "home" too.
Life continues, life flows.
Murata wrestles with his feelings regarding Shinou, since the former king hardly leaves him alone. It is hard, after so long, yet it is also easy, because Shinou is Shinou and he knows Murata, all of him, and understands more than the others. Finally, after many restless nights, Murata accepts and allows his uncertain feelings to grow. This is romantic love, this is something that has endured for many years, this is what is most precious to him. This was what he had missed, what he had longed for, what he had seen in Yuuri occasionally but never quite taken hold of.
He continues as before though, complaining and arguing and pestering Shinou to leave him alone, but he does like the small figure that occupies his shoulder. He'll admit it one day, perhaps, but they have waited years, so what is another day? There is no need for words, anyway, not with the important things.
Time passes slowly and quickly and never and all at once. Shinmakoku sees spring and winter and everything in between and Murata has never been more content with his existence. This is life as Murata Ken. The people are familiar, and he loves to watch them. Yuuri, a little older and none the wiser, still plays the hero and proclaims "justice" when necessary. Wolfram is, as always, at Yuuri's side, ready to protect his beloved king and fiancé. Their relationship has changed, as do all relationships, and while there is still no public display of affection, Murata often finds them in deserted corridors or back rooms with their hands and lips tangled together. He pretends not to notice, as does everyone else, because they all know by now and are just too polite (and a little scared of Wolfram) to say it. Conrad is doing well too, still the same calming figure and kind smile and extreme loyalty to his king. Yozak is often by his side now, Murata notices, through word-of-mouth (the maids) and Yozak himself, who is constantly updating Murata on the status of their relationship. Sometimes, Murata thinks, he'd rather not know. Gwendal, on the other hand, still as stoic as ever, has loosened up just a little, and everyone knows it's because of Gunter's presence. Murata gets the feeling that Gwendal will be proposing any day now, and hopes he is prepared for the aftermath. Tseri is Tseri, still talking about "free love" trips and such, but he notices that her trips lead her more often than not in the same direction. He makes no mention of it, but wishes her the best, that she might be happy with him and perhaps, for once, find a steady partner. Then there is Hube and Nicola, with El, who come by to visit frequently. They are still deeply, wonderfully in love, and are envied by those who see their gentle looks and touches. El is walking now too, and seems a little less accident-prone than before, which Murata is grateful for. Another regular visitor is Saralegui, who, still apologetic, is determined to befriend them all (Wolfram and Gwendal were, as always, hard to please, but gave in when Yuuri showed his feelings on the matter) and mend things.
All in all, Shinmakoku was what it had always been: home. With the worst of their adventures over, they could look back and smile and enjoy their time here, enjoy their time on Earth, and enjoy the journeys there and back. Yuuri was Yuuri and would never understand how grateful they all were to him for everything. Murata Ken was Murata Ken and would always be there to watch and guide and lend his power and, more than anything, offer his hand in friendship and support to the boy that had made his mediocre life worthwhile.
Yes, I think I will miss it.