A/N: So a few nice reviewers told me I should write another. And since I can hardly wait until Thursday and I keep imagining that either jack and/or kate are going to count to five in this episode, I decided to write a little story about it. It still has some kinks to be worked out, but I wanted to get it out in time for thursday because I know I won't like my idea after I have seen the real thing.
Minor spoilers for 4x10
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, and I am kind of glad I don't because Darlton are so genius that I like watching their magic put on screen.
The chocolate brown orbs that once glittered when they looked upon her would never sparkle again. She choked back a sob when the realization hit her. Just five seconds earlier, his brilliant orbs, slightly glazed over, still shone as they gazed into hers, showing the love and affection that she always knew was there, the love and affection she never got to fully experience, the love and affection she wish she had. She had thrown it away and now she couldn't go back; he was gone. Gone somewhere where she couldn't follow twenty minutes later.
When Juliet told her there was nothing more she could do, she remained confident. She knew Jack better than Juliet did, despite the blonde's claims. Sure she knew about his family, his friends, his ex-wife, his medical records, but she didn't know like Kate did that Jack was a fighter. He wasn't going to give up; he never gave up on his patients and he wouldn't give up on himself. He had made a promise to the other survivors that he would get them off the island and he had yet to break a promise. Kate was silently reassured- that is until Jack whispered her name. It was the whisper of a dying man with his dying words upon his lips. He told her she was now the leader, that she must save the survivors, she must uphold his promise. He believed in her, had faith in her, even when he had faith in nothing else, not even himself. She tried to protest, grasping hopelessly onto the idea that he may still live, but when he murmured, "please", she instantly became quiet as she nodded her head in acquiescence.
She knew she needed to say goodbye, to let her feelings be known and she knew she didn't have much time; he was wasting away before her eyes. He wanted to say her loved her, that he loved her just the way she was. However, when their eyes met, instinctively, they knew each other's thoughts and no words needed to be spoken. They merely fixed their gazes upon each other and began to count, her voice wavering as she tried to fight back her tears, his voice barely above a whisper, but unafraid. Even as he lay there dying, he was trying to protect her; he didn't want her to know how much he was suffering, not only from the pain, but also from the realization that he would never look into those emerald orbs again.
…1…
…2…
…3…
…4…
He didn't reach five and she didn't have the heart or the strength to continue. Without his steady voice to guide her, she didn't want to go on. If she finished the count alone, then she could no longer fear. She would once again have to be strong, not only so she could survive, but also so she could lead the other survivors as he had instructed her to do. She wasn't ready to let him go. As the tears poured from her eyes, she held onto his hand and felt the warmth that had yet to leave it. She was still comforted by his touch, even when he was gone.
Suddenly, she felt a light pressure on her hand, as someone tenderly squeezed it. Startled, he eyes flew open, meeting a pair of life-filled brown ones brimming with mirth. It had all been a dream! He was ghost white and appeared to be exhausted, but he was alive and breathing, lying right in front of her and even laughing at her! He reached out his available hand and brushed away the tears that were still spilling down her cheeks. His eyes once again shone with love and affection, when he whispered, "you didn't finish." Puzzled, she looked at him inquisitively, wondering what he meant. And then it dawned on her. She had been counting in her sleep. Although embarrassed that he had caught her, she smiled gleefully, knowing she wouldn't have to finish the count alone.
…"5", they both breathed, as the fear left them, allowing room for their love to fill the deep crevices of their souls.
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