2:59

Kurt watched the numbers of his electronic alarm clock changing into "3:00". The only light was that of those red numbers, pulsing in the darkness of his grey Dior room. Red, just like Blaine's scarf in his dream, where they had finally become more then two Dalton Warblers enjoying a coffee at Starbucks. Still, Kurt was so happy… no, charmed by the calm and magic atmosphere between Blaine and him. So charmed, that he was also afraid of destroying it with a wrong word. In the last days, Kurt had decided to wait, to let things born by themselves while spending every Saturday morning with Blaine. He thought that the simple fact that Blaine was gay didn't necessarily mean that he was interested in him; moreover, he surely had more experience with guys than Kurt, because he wasn't the only officially homosexual boy in his school. Kurt got up from his bed with a sigh, turned on the little lamp on his turtledove bedside table and headed toward the stairs to go to the kitchen. The rest of the house was very different from his room: he hadn't been able to transfer his sense of style to his father, and so he had finally decided to let it go and deal with his own room, as if it was his little personal loft. It was like walking from a woodcutter refuge to the atelier of Dolce & Gabbana. Kurt tried to walk carefully on the living room's floor, in order to keep everybody asleep. It was something he could do quite well: having a graceful step was very important for fashion parades. When he was a child, he used to do a lot of them in his room, while his father was at work. He used to pick his mother's high heels from her wardrobe, – they were still there, as if she would have been able to wear them – then, a scarf and sometimes a fur, trying to combine them with the colour of his pijamas. He also had to put quintals of cotton in each shoe to let his feet in; it hurted, but he didn't care at all. He just imagined to be in Paris, Milan, NYC for the fashion week. And more than anything else, there was his mother's smell, making him feel so protected and safe…

Once he got in the kitchen, Kurt was surprised discovering the light on. In facts, his father never used to roam in the house during the night; but then he realised that he also didn't use to do it, so how could he be so sure of that? Only a second later, Kurt remembered that his father and him weren't the only people living in that house anymore. Once he crossed the wood-made door of the kitchen, he found Finn. His shoulders seemed even more larger, standing in front of a so little kitchenette; he seemed like a huge bear licking his own wounds in a corner, because he was sitting by the table in the centre of the room, crouching in front of an empty cup. And to Kurt, he just had been like that before: a sad puppy he would have liked to take care of. But it seemed like a lifetime before. "Hi Finn" said Kurt with a bored voice, knowing that, as always, his new half-brother wouldn't have liked to talk about his problems and neither care about Kurt's ones. Just as he expected, the only answer was "Hi Kurt" – even without a look. Kurt noticed that near Finn's empty cup there was his mobile phone. Trying to read some word from the text on the screen, he came closer to the table and walked behind Finn's shoulders to get to the fridge. The only word he could understand was the sender, "Rachel", and it was quite enough. In facts, Rachel had told him about problems with Finn. Once he opened the fridge, he took a package of milk among gassed drinks and toasts of the day before, to warm it and then drink it with honey. "Would you like some milk?" he asked to Finn, just to be kind. That sentence used to be followed by another one, like "What's the matter Finn? Let's talk about it!", but that night it was really just to be kind. He was in that kitchen just to sit, think about Blaine and what to do about him, not to hear somebody talk about Miss Rachel Berry and her egocentrism… because he was pretty sure that the matter was something about her losing her mind. But still, knowing to have missed so many Mercedes' solos, fights between Finn and Puck, even slushies on his face and new ways invented by Rachel on how to get anybody else's attention, it was like being an alien from another planet – an alien with a red 'n blue uniform. He was comforted by the fact that the safe sensation that only Blaine could give to him was worth the miss of all those things.

"No, but thanks" answered Finn, rounding his forefinger on the cup's board in a hypnotizing way. He surely had been deceived by the question, and answered that way just to avoid a long "heart-to-heart" conversation. Kurt understood that and said: "No, I'm serious, I don't wanna talk". "Oh, then it's fine" answered Finn, pulling his cup in front of Kurt and waiting for the hot milk. Ten minutes later, they both had finished to drink and there wasn't a good excuse left to stay in silence. Kurt took the dirty cups, stopping Finn from rounding his finger over and over on his one, and put them in the kitchen sink. Without a single word, he went closer to the door to reach his room and think in peace. He was sure that Finn wouldn't have disturbed him there – he just didn't get there since he had said that word, the forbidden word of his house. "We'd better put a sign on the door" Kurt once said to his father to make him laugh about it. "Wait". Kurt stopped by the kitchen's door. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm sorry to be so… cold". "It's ok Finn, i get it. There's something bothering you… but you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to". But after saying that, Kurt didn't make a step and remained by the door, just waiting for the typical straight speech starting with "GIRLS!" or something like that. When Finn was the target of a great plan, which was basically about discrediting women, he had the chance to understand how troublesome a girl could be. In particular, he understood that Rachel was able to be more unbearable than a pregnant teen girl who was angry with her parents and the rest of the human beings. Kurt, so proud of being able to predict straight people's words, smiled at Finn, waiting for his speech. Instead Finn said to him: "And you? Why did you get up from bed?" – "M-me? I…" Kurt esitated, looking at his feet, "…it's getting late, I'll go to bed again". Then he turned around and head toward his loft, not caring at all about his feet's noise on the floor. Telling his half-brother about his doubts and feelings for Blaine would have been a way to prove that Finn was right about the fact that Kurt was just a "hunk stalker", who wasn't able to distinguish between a friendship and a crush. Moreover, why should he have been the first to talk? Lying on his bed, Kurt finally realised that probably nobody could understand him, not even Mercedes. "Keep things as they are" he kept repeating in his head, looking at the ceiling above him and then with his eyes closed, after turning off the lamp on his bedside table. His thoughts soon focused on the eye sockets he would have had the day after, and he finally fell asleep, still thinking about skin cremes and make-up to cover them.

Author's corner:

Hi, I'm _hurricane. I thinks it's better for me to be clear about the fact that I'm italian, so english is not my language. In facts, this is a translation from a Fanfiction I'm still writing on EFP - the italian site to publish fanfictions. I decided to translate it because I hope that, in this way, many people will be able to read it and enjoy it, and also I would like to improve my english. So please please please tell me about any kind of mistake, it will be a pleasure to learn from you. In its italian version, the story has already 22 chapters; I think I'll decide whether to keep translating it or not after reading some of your opinions (if there will be one!).

With love, Maria.