Here's my go at the challenge issued by ladygris and theicemenace. 562 words. MGM owns SGA.
"It was a dark and stormy night," said Rodney to his audience in a voice so sinister it would have been well matched with any James Bond villain. He waited a moment and cast a quick glance to his team mates standing near the door to the hut. He tried to remember how he'd been the one to get shanghaied into telling a scary story on a stormy night, but it escaped him. "And…"
"What are you now, Rodney?" interrupted Sheppard. "A big cliché?"
Rodney gave his audience an apologetic smile and looked at John. "It's not cliché, Sheppard," he said, his voice comically strained as he spoke through the smile he'd managed to keep plastered on his face. "It's classic."
John crossed his arms on his chest and smiled as Rodney looked back to his audience. Most of the kids were sitting on the floor of the glorified hut that served as the village community center, and Rodney couldn't help but notice a terrified Cleo grasping Casta's arm with enough force to make the boy grimace in pain. He had to admit that they'd really grown up to be a pretty girl and handsome boy.
"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Rodney said as he shot a quick yet potent glare to John which the Colonel simply shrugged off, "it was a dark and stormy night." He grinned maniacally as a timely flash of lightning lit up the room and a clap of thunder rang through their ears making most of them jump or cringe. "Much like tonight." He paused for a heartbeat or two and went on. "We were camping in a park near where I'm from…"
"They don't know what a park is, Rodney," Sheppard piped up, the joy in his voice a perfect compliment to the glee in his eyes.
Rodney was tempted to tell John what he could do, how he could do it and what tools would make it more painful for him and more fun for others to watch. The only thing that stopped him was the children present, not to mention the fact that John was right if the young blank faces looking at him was any indication. "A park is a place where people go to camp out and have fun with family and friends and so on." He gave the kids a nod and said, "Anyway, we were in our camper and I was sleeping soundly…"
"Camper?" asked John with raised brows.
"Do you mind, Sheppard?" said an exasperated Rodney. "I'm trying to tell a story here."
"Well tell them a story they can understand, McKay," responded John with a wave of his hand towards the kids for good measure. "What's the point in telling them about things they don't know?"
Rodney sighed and threw his arms into the air in surrender and frustration. "Fine, Sheppard," he said as he stood up and then indicated the seat he'd vacated with an exaggerated wave. "Why don't you come up and tell them a story?"
John rubbed his hands together in anticipation and made his way up to the chair. He sat down and took in his audience with a sweep of his eyes. Still, despite the expectant looks he was getting from the kids Sheppard couldn't help but eye Rodney as he said, "It was a dark and stormy night…"