Author's Note: If you have never heard the song Too Much Love Will Kill You by Queen, then you need to right now! It is Itachi's song and brings me almost to tears whenever I hear it.
I want to thank my brother, Lord Pikachu, for helping me write Sasuke's meltdown in the first section.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor the song, Too Much Love Will Kill You.
• {Too Much Love Will Kill You} •
Itachi couldn't truly admit to knowing when he had first taken up his nightly post. He knew it must have been a while ago, but that night and the first few that followed were so terrible to remember, they had become mixed up in his young mind. There was one night, though, in those early years following his willing exile that had remained more or less separate from the jumbled memories and might even have been the start of his daily watchings. It took place on an evening when his little brother was about nine years old.
Itachi had entered Konaha at early dusk, the bright red light from the setting sun making him stick to the secrecy of the shadows. It had taken a long while to make his way from where he had scaled the west wall of the crowded city to the old ruins of the Uchiha Compound. It was well past eight when he was finally able to stop and catch his breath in one of the deserted threshoKlds.
He had crouched in the darkness and forced his heaving to be as soft as it could for several moments. Why was he so out of breath suddenly? Was it anxiety, perhaps? Was he coming down with something? Or was it just plain nervousness at the thought of seeing his brother again for the firat time since the massacre?
He had smirked ever so slightly to himself, shaking his head in a serious fashion. What am I doing here, anyway? I swore to myself that I would never see this place, this village, again. I would never even see him, until he appeared before me as a strong man ready to avenge his family's wrong. Yet here I am... I really am weak.
A sudden scuffling sound interrupted the lost-nin's silent reprimand. Itachi froze and allowed himself to sink deeper into the shadows. The sound continued, until a loud squeak like that from a gate cut across the otherwise still air. The next moment the gate closed with another obnoxious screech and the sound of heavy footsteps made their way up the dirt road.
Itachi's heartbeat quickened. He knew there was only one person who could be coming up the path. The footsteps grew closer, when suddenly a small, shadowy figure was walking infront of the house that the lost-nin lay hidden within.
Sasuke... Itachi whispered to himself.
The thin, silvery light from the half moon lit up the little boy trudging diligently on his way home that evening. He looked almost nothing like the cheerful, loving baby brother Itachi had left behind. His black hair was messy and thick, with long bangs covering his dark eyes. His face was very pale and his ribs stuck out of his much too small clothing. His little back was bent with exhaustion and his feet continually stumbled on their slow, clumsy march.
Itachi stood in stunned silence. He could not believe this was his beautiful little brother. This lonely, dirty, hungry boy.
Sasuke! The desperate scream caught in his throat. He would have given anything at that moment to be able to swoop in and save the boy, but he knew he couldn't. It wouldn't do either of them any good.
The young man did the only thing he could; follow him home. Itachi trailed Sasuke for the short distance left in the boy's homeward journey. He stayed deep in the shadows, but he afterwards thought that it really wasn't necessary. Sasuke looked so tired, he might not even have noticed if Itachi had walked directly behind him.
In front of the last house, Sasuke suddenly stopped. Itachi hid swiftly in between two of the other houses on the long row. He could see his brother clearly in front of their old home.
"I'm back!" Sasuke suddenly shouted, raising his weary head and smiling at the empty, dark house.
Itachi watched in confusion. What is he doing?
"I'm home!" The boy repeated, louder. He took a few steps forward. "Mom! Dad! I'm home! I'm sorry I'm so late! I stayed after school to train with my shirikin!" The boy's voices faulted. "Mom? Dad?" The only sound that answered was his own echo.
Sasuke suddenly collapsed to his knees, bitter tears began streaking down his face and his lower lip quivered. "Mom... Dad..." he repeated shakily, letting his head droop more. "Mom... Dad... Why...? Why did you..." The boy suddenly brought his fists down hard onto ground. "I hate him..." he muttered, his chilly tone made the utterance hang in the air like an icicle. "I really hate him..." He grew louder in volume as he began to shout into the evening, starting to pound the dirt below him mercilessly as he chanted the stinging words. "I hate him! I hate him!" Sasuke's little body began trembling with the negative emotion coursing through it. He stood up and screamed: "I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I HATE him!"
Itachi stood for a long time, watching in painful silence as his little brother cried himself out on the hard, dirty ground. It took every ounce of resolution not to run to Sasuke and comfort him.
It was a long time before the boy finally calmed down enough to shakily get to his feet and enter the empty house. Itachi had turned away hesitatingly, not able to abandon Sasuke in his current condition.
"Foolish little brother..." He whispered softly. "How can you hope to kill me if you act so weak?"
The old, rusting gate squeaked closed loudly. Footsteps stirred the still sand and dust that blanketed the deserted compound. The only sound was the light treading of feet.
Sasuke yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily. He wasn't nearly so exhausted as he usually was after training. He pondered briefly if that meant he was getting stronger, actually smiling a little proudly as he decided it must be so.
His small grin faded, though, as he set eyes on his empty home. Many people seemed to forget that he was only nine, a mere little boy whose mind was still prone to fantasy. Every evening when he stumbled home from the Academy, he made this silent prayer that "that night" had only been some nightmarish dream and he would instantly forget about it as soon as he was in his mother's loving arms, feeling the hand of his father on his shoulder, the look of pleasure that would light up his brother's face whenever-
He shook his head. No longer would he think fondly of that man.
He paused to listen for a moment on the steps of his house, a suffocating silence consuming both his own home and those throughout the independent village. He shivered in the cool air, wrapping his arms around himself, a few tears stinging his dark eyes. He brushed them away and entered his lonely dwelling.
Everything was just how he had left it that morning. A clean swept floor, the dishes from his meager breakfast still in the basin. The small wooden table was clear and the chairs all pushed in. Yet something new caught his eye.
On the table stood a short, long box, closed and sealed with a bright crimson ribbon. Sasuke looked around the room, but there seemed to be no other thing out of place. Cautiously, he approached the box.
He immediately noticed an envelop attached to the bow, seizing it and ripping the seal impatiently open. The handwriting was a swirl of dashes and dots with no meaning whatsoever, succeeding only in making the writing hard to discern. Sasuke peered at it, trying to understand the message.
Get a haircut. It read simply.
Sasuke glared at the page, crumpling the letter up and throwing it into the waste basket. He took another moment to glance around the room, his icy stare examining every shadow where the offender might be hidden. With a sigh, he went curious back to the box.
He undid the loosely tied bow and pulled off the lid. He gasped in shock.
Inside was a variety of items. Two sets of clothing - one completely black the other having white shorts and a blue shirt - were lying folded neatly on the top. Sasuke eagerly pulled them out, finding that the black clothes would be a perfect replacement for his usual outfit, which was much too small. The blue shirt would serve well as a nightgown until he was older.
Directly underneath, several pairs of needles and red and white thread were kept neatly inside a small, clear bag. Sasuke smiled, realizing they were for embroidering the Uchiha Clan symbol on the back of his shirts.
Next came a well-sized bag of money. Then some dozen shirikin and kunai. A hairbrush, new sandals and a half-dozen other small yet necessary items. When he was finally at the bottom of the box, he searched eagerly for another note. But there was none; the box was empty.
He looked again at the first message, trying to recognize the hand writing. He realized now that the excess of dashes and blobs were made purposely to hid the sender's identity. Sasuke sighed heavily.
It's probably the Third Hokage... He reasoned silently. He's always offering me bags of money and calling me from class to make sure I've eaten and have money. I guess my blowing him off each time hasn't made it clear that I don't want his pity. Maybe I should just take this stuff back to him... Sasuke paused, looking over the things laid out on his table. Or... I could just keep them... If it makes the old man happy...
That was only the first of many boxes I received over the years before I left Konaha. The Third Hokage never admitted to having left them, nor did I ever ask him about it. He still offered me money and such whenever we saw each other, which I used to believe was because he didn't want the other genin to know my new clothes and weapons were from him. I was grateful for it at the time, but now I realize it was just another lie. Sarutobi didn't leave those boxes; it was Itachi.
Why must I only find out the truth, when it is too late to do anything to repay it? The only consultation I have is knowing I must have pleased him, because I spent the very next day after I received the first box in the barber's chair.
• {The End} •
By the way, for those of you waiting for the next chapter for Under the Red Clouds, I am working on it. But all of my extra writing time is mostly being given to the Fire Emblem: Awakening fanfiction I am writing for my little brother's birthday!
(: Thank you for reading! Please review! :)