Title: Save Me From You

Pairing: Fletcher/Jones

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own the members of McFly. This is pure fiction and whereas the plot is mine Danny and Tom are not and this doesn't in any way reflect the reality.

Dedications: To my dear Fien, for the agony of falling in love one day and for being a true rock. I hope you'll like this.

Authors Note: There's a sequal to this one that I'll post if anyone is interested and this SA can also be read on the temp, as well as Official McFly boards.

Save Me From You

It was a self destruction really… a pain so deep and powerful that it sometimes sucked the air right out of my lungs. I could feel it burn deep down in my stomach and my chest felt terrifyingly tight. The ground shifted underneath my feet and my fingertips felt warm and clammy as I desperately tried to hold on to something… someone… you.

It was a pain that I knew could and probably would kill me one day. Any day now you'd push me over the edge and still I couldn't even imagine my life without it. It was warm and cold at the same time, bitter and sweet in the same bite. I knew that I wasn't supposed to escape this pain, and I knew that I didn't want to. If this was what you did to me… if this was your mark on me then I loved it and I loved you even more for putting me in such distress.

I longed all day for something I knew I couldn't have or the consequences would be disastrous. It was having a chocolate cake walk around right in front of you. A kind you'd never had before but the frosting was enough to ensure you that once you'd had a small slice you'd never go back… you'd never have anything else, ever.

Said chocolate cake had made a habit out of walking around the house in his boxers. That didn't help.

"Morning Tom…"

I stared at your lips as they moved, the freckles on your face playing before my eyes as you talked. I couldn't hear you, but as I saw your lips form my name I shuddered in my seat and I could feel heat building up in my feet slowly creeping its way up my legs. I wanted to cry right there and then. You could have stabbed me in the chest with the bread knife that you lazily grabbed from the counter top when Dougie had left it after I'd shot him a warning glare, telling him to back away from the weapon, before cutting the bread for him. You could have plunged the sharp metal into my chest again and again and I would still not suffer as much as I did as you simply turned your back to me to get yourself breakfast.

My eyes burned into your neck as my chest rose and fell frantically. My breathing sped up together with my heart as I realized that you'd within seconds would plop down on the chair opposite me… or even, god forbid next to me. I had little ghosts of thoughts flying through my head and they all screamed at me in the same agonizing tone, all of them with different messages. Calm down and stay… you've had breakfast with him every day for the past four year, you can do it one more time. Run, Tom! Just leave. He'll see you sweat. He'll notice your blush. He'll hear your heart racing – racing for him. Leave before it's too late!

My mouth was dry and my legs felt weak as you turned around in what seemed as slow motion, coffee cup in one hand and a sandwich in the other. He'd used the last piece of ham. Harry would throw a fit, I thought for a second before being brought back from my thoughts as Danny sat down opposite me, reaching a freckled and perfect hand towards me. I shuffled backwards in pure panic at his hand reaching for me and as he pushed his curls around on his face with one hand and grabbing this mornings paper with the other I fell backwards on my chair, crashing down on the floor with a cry.

I could never just slip out of a room could I. The discrete and swift exit I'd planned didn't seem to happen today either, and just like many other times before it had been all Danny Jones' fault.

I cursed under my breath as Danny shot from his seat, a worried expression creasing his flawless face. He practically ran over to me and I tugged self consciously on the t-shirt I was wearing as his big blue eyes, glazed and round with worry landed on my flushed body. Even my fingers pulsated as my heart pumped my blood violently around my body. I shook with adrenaline as he hovered over him – close enough for me to touch… close enough for him to touch me. God forbid. My body seemed to have decided to demonstrate just about every body function there was right then and there and I felt my stomach convulse as nausea hit me together with a cold sweat.

"Tom! Are you okay?" Danny crouched next to me and reached out to help me up. I could feel the heat radiation off his body and goose bumps broke out all over my arms and legs as his creamy skin met mine. I had to do something. Surely he'd be able to hear my ridiculously fast beating heart and he'd feel the cold sweat on my skin. He can't know. He can never know! His big palm was pressed against the flushed skin of my forearm and I could have thrown up right there and still felt the greatest pleasure I'd ever felt. He will hate you.

"Come Tom," he hardened his grip on me and pushed my body closer to his, "let me see if you hurt yourself…"

I screamed. Yes, I know not the most logical and sensitive thing to do when the love of your life, the biggest crush you've ever had, practically offers you to climb onto his lap but as the months had passed I'd seem to be able to produce less and less logical thoughts around Danny. My sense of reason was perfectly fine around the other two but with Danny's blue eyes locking with mine, twinkling in the sunlight just for me, his beautiful mouth curling into a smile… just for me… I screamed and I didn't stop until a confused Danny released his grip on me and both Dougie and Harry stood staring at me in the door way, Harry's hair tousled and his boxers on inside out.

"He… he fell and I…" Danny stammered looking from me to the other two and Harry rubbed a hand over his face, his blue eyes landing on the heap on the floor that was me.

"Are you hurt Tom? What's with the screaming? Don't do that. I thought someone was bloody murdering you."

I tore my eyes from the drummer and looked at Danny, his forehead wrinkled in confusion but his eyes big and kind… he was worried about me and I wished that Harry knew how right he was. I was slowly being murdered. My heart was slowly being ripped from my chest with every little touch that Danny offered me… every stroke of my skin that I couldn't return. The beauty I saw in him, that he'd never see in me burned my eyes and made me want to cry. Just cry and sob until I felt empty. I had too much filling my chest… the love for you bringing with it too many emotions to deal with. Pain, agony, jealousy, sorrow… If I could cry myself empty I would.

They all stared at me and I realized that they waited for some kind of answer.

"What's wrong?" Dougie coaxed from his position in the door way as Harry came forward and helped Danny to his feet. I'd never felt so trapped and small before them before in all the time I'd known them. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment at the same time as I felt rage well up inside me. Why couldn't this happen to one of them instead? Why did I have to turn into a mess whenever Danny Jones was present, why me? Why was he doing this to me?

I staggered to my feet and I could see Harry's fingers twitching with the need to reach out and steady me as I swayed on my feet, my legs shaking with the adrenaline still being pumped through my veins and every nerve in my entire body sparked painfully as I pushed my way past them, my chest brushing Danny as I moved past him to get out of the cramped room.

"I'm dying." I breathed, my tongue feeling as it would suffocate me any second as I spoke. I climbed the stairs to get to my room and threw the door to my balcony open. It had been a close call today. Too close and I hadn't made it pass noon yet. I searched my brain and heart for the strength that helped me get through yesterday and the day before that but there was nothing but a burning need, a piercing longing for Danny. I pushed my body up on the banister my legs dangling over the edge as I held on to the plank underneath me with sweaty palms and warm fingers. The wind played with my hair and I soon found myself shaking in the freezing cold. I flexed my toes and closed my eyes willing that magic answer to pop into my head. How do I get through this alive?

The skin that Danny had touched on my arm still tingled and I replayed the moment he'd grabbed me over and over in my head. My head lolled backwards and I shifted in my seat… the December air was sucking my energy out of my body and the skin on my bare legs burned in the cold. Wearing something more than boxers and a t-shirt would have been the sensible thing to do… shame… I had lost my mind a long time ago.

The pain in my chest grew more and more intense with every time I saw the scene of you putting your warm hand on my body play before my eyes and small fantasies of how I would touch you if I could danced before me. I felt so tired suddenly. Hours had passed since I came out here and the cold weather together with the pain of having Danny so close but at the same time not be able to reach him in the way I wanted was eating me up. I had none of my defenses left. I'd given you everything I would ever have to give and you didn't even know it. My head felt unbearably heavy on my neck and it once again lolled backwards and then to the side as I let the hopelessness I'd felt lately completely whisk me away to a place where there was nothing. No me, no you… no pain and no love. I longed for that emptiness. I wanted it… I was going to let it take me. I released one of my hands and felt myself glide further down, all I had to do was release the other as well and my body would plummet to the ground… to emptiness and nothing at all.

Something warm enveloped me from behind… warm long arms placing blanket after blanked over my blue arms and shaking shoulders.

I let go of the other hand and fell…

…I cried as I fell and fell for what felt as an eternity… backwards onto the balcony, into your arms and into the warmth of the blankets. I fought against him as he carried me inside again. I kicked and punched him with all the strength that I had.

"I hate you!" I sobbed, my heart aching with a love so strong that I thought my heart would burst.

"Why?" Danny asked as he placed me on my bed, his freckled fingers stroking over my forehead. His eyes were as kind as ever and I knew that I had lied to him. I loved him and hated myself for doing so.

"You saved me…I was supposed to save me! I was saving me!" I cried and tried to sit up, tried to escape his hands that were now rubbing up and down my arms in an attempt to warm me up.

"From what?" He asked, his voice calm and warm as he stared into my eyes.

"From you!" I blurted between clenched teeth and he shook his head slowly as he climbed on top of me, laying down holding me down and trying to warm me up again. I buried my head in his shoulder as the tears fell like a river from my eyes. He didn't understand, he never would, and yet, he had me and my heart right in his hand.

The End