AN: Okay, this story is very personal to me. Majority of it is real of it is true. The feelings are real. Most of this story is going to be based off my life and what I have been through and what I am going through. This is the only way I could find to vent out my feelings, and I thought why not post it? I am not looking for attention either. I don't like people like that, so why would I do that myself? Well, I hope that you enjoy this and maybe some of you readers can relate. Thank you for reading :)

Today was the day of the rest of my life. I used to think that was the stupidest line ever. I mean it didn't make sense. At all. Until now that is.

My whole life I was the fat girl. Today, I made my goal weight of 120 pounds. Thought I would ever look down at a scale and see those numbers, in that exact order, look up at me....My journey this far was challenging, but man was it worth it all! Yeah sure, I have been living with my brother for awhile now, but it wasn't always this good.

I was made fun of my whole life. Even my so called best friends made cracks at me sometimes. Well I guess not directly, but then they would make fun of people that were around them were overweight. For example when we would walk through the mall, one of my closest friends would turn her nose up at a girl walking past that was smaller than me, start mooing at her, or just going ewww!. Sometimes it would be just a simple fat joke. You know like those yo momma ones. It seemed as if they were actually talking about me. They never realized just how much it hurt.

My own Mother was even bad at making comments about my weight. She wasn't the smallest person either. Don't get me wrong I love my mom, but she just pissed me off too many times. It didn't matter what I did I was never pretty enough, my hair wasn't ever good enough and I was never smart enough. I was fucking Valedictorian and always was on the honor role in high school for Christ's sake! My Dad really never talked to me. He knew that it bothered me but never said anything. He was never one for talking. My sister, well, she was just there living her own life pretending to not know us, or even be related. She was one of those blonde bimbos who walked around thinking they owned the world. Yup, I hated her for it. We were best friends until she got to middle school and started hanging out with the rest of those kind of people. My 2 older brothers, Ben and Nick, were the only ones that I ever really got along with. They were the ones never commented on my looks and just took me for who I was. The night before my high school graduation, I packed my bags. After the ceremony, I left. I just got fed up and left my whole life behind, never mentioning to anyone where I was going. Except Ben and Nick.

I ended up in a couple cities over in a university studying music. You name the course; I took it, if it was available. But eventually my life savings had run out and I couldn't afford it anymore. All the scholarships I had gotten were all for just 1 year and only for certain courses, like AP English and stuff. I wanted to do music for the rest of my life. It was my saving grace, something that I loved and was only truly happy doing. For a year and a half I had done some things that one person should never have to go through. I'm not proud of some of my decisions but I had to survive. Those things put a roof over my head and had a little to eat. But I'd rather not go into gory details.. After that, Ben found me again and convinced me to go live with him and his girlfriend. And I did.

His girlfriend, Jennifer (Jenny), had never met me before, but gladly accepted me with open arms. I sort of resented her in the beginning, she was a little hyperactive and too bubbly. I didn't know how to take it. Over the past year she became my best friend. I was surprised when she actually liked me for me and didn't judge. Ben was pretty surprised at our closeness. I was never person to make friends that quickly. I had always been extremely self conscious about my looks, never had confidence in myself and was dangerously shy. I still was sort of like that.

I was standing on a scale, feeling so accomplished. I must have been there grinning like an idiot at the inanimate object when my brother walked in.

"Carly? What are you doing?" He asked. I never heard him.

"CAROLYN LEIGH!" he yelled in my ear. I then snapped back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" He asked again.

"Come here and look!!" I screamed beckoning him to get his ass over to where I was. He did as he was told.

"You did it Car!" He yelled picking me up off the scale and twirling me around. "I'm so happy for you!"

"You know, its like its not even real..." I trailed off.

"Believe it baby sister! Cause it is baby! Whoooo!" he started cheering. My brother was... well, a little crazy. He had his moments though. But if he wasn't his huge, tall, crazy self, I don't know what I would do.

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That night I had gone to bed quite late as we had gone out to the club Nick owned. He gave me free drinks all night. Seeing how he was just starting his business, and he usually made us pay for our drinks, I thought he was being pretty nice. I could usually drink a lot and still hold my own too. But I got pretty shit faced.

At the moment I was out dancing with this British guy. I love British guys. They're accents are so sexy!I wish I could remember his name. He had come up to me and started hitting on me. I never really listened to what he was talking about as I had just grabbed him and started making out with him. I didn't know what I was doing. I had had This wasn't me at all! Somehow we were able to stagger our way to the dance floor and start grinding somewhat to the beat against each other, his hands roaming all over my body. For once, I wasn't self conscious Suddenly he just grabbed my hand and towed me back to the bar. When we got there his hands traveled down to my ass again and was just rubbing everywhere. My arms snaked their way up around his neck.

"What do you want? I'm buying." He slurred in my ear with his adorable accent.

"Oh! Um…. Ask for a lee-lee" I mumbled while kissing his neck.

"What's that?" He asked as he was confused. What was his name? I just couldn't put my finger on it…

"Well its only this bar's specialty" I whispered. "I invented it!" I suddenly yelled proudly almost losing my balance when I was stupidly threw my hands in the air pointing at myself. I was never graceful sober, let alone wasted.

"Cool!" He exclaimed. God he is gorgeous! I was getting lost in his sparkling blue green eyes. Earlier he had been wearing some ray bans, in a club of all places, but whatever. His hair was dirty blonde and was tousled enough so it kind of stood up a little bit. He stood at about 6'1. Just perfect for me as I was 5'8.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my brother. Oh shit! He was going to make a big deal out of this. He was really overprotective.

"Jenny, let go of me! I need to kick that little fucker's ass! That's my baby sister!" Ben screeched, while Jenny held him back, who I might add is very little but can actually. But if she needed to, she could take my brother, who I might add is a soldier in the Canadian forces. She was a brute.

"Benjamin Frederick Hood! She is an adult! She is 20 years old! I'm pretty sure she can handle herself!" Jenny scolded my poor brother. Did I mention that I really love her right now? Well I do.

"Come on Benji Boy! Lets go home!" I yelled in my drunken haze as I staggered through the swarm of people and into the dimly lit up streets. The next thing I knew I was on the ground. I was never known to be graceful. I fell down quite a bit. Stairs were my enemy too. I broke my leg in three places last time I fell down the stairs.

Ben came over and picked me up off the ground, and carried me home bridal style. I don't know how he managed to pick me up. He was pretty plastered too.

I woke up the next morning from the sun shining through my neon orange room. I groaned and rolled over trying to block the sun from blinding my eyes. I knew I would regret painting my room that color. Hurts the eyes. I wanted to stay there and die. I rolled back over towards my bedside table where my clock was located. I slowly opened my eyes and saw that it was about 12:00 pm. Great. I recently began to hate sleeping in. After all, who would want to miss out on precious time with their brother who was going to be shipped off to Afghanistan in couple of weeks? Not me that's for sure! Especially since he was going to be gone for 8 months….

All of a sudden my door swung open revealing a very chipper Jenny. I immediately closed my eyes and prayed to the ever loving god that she would just leave me alone.

"Wakey wakey Caca!" Shit. Of course she just had to wake me up with that name. It's something that Ben always called me. When I was little he couldn't say my name right and it ended up coming out as Caca. I loved it for some reason… I guess I'm just weird that way.

"What do you want?" I'm usually happy but I had a killer hangover. Sue me.

"Time to get up!" she exclaimed and jumped on my bed continuously. I shot up out of bed and beat it to the bathroom. I bent over the bowl and just hurled. I was never okay after a night like that. Ever. Jenny just came into the bathroom and held my hair and patted my back.

"You going to be okay for a minute?" She asked me as I laid down on the cool tiles

I meekly nodded and she scurried out of the door towards her and Ben's bathroom. Her cheeriness was just getting on my nerves. I hated it when people fawned over me, it makes me feel useless. I really liked doing things on my own. As I waited I started to think of what happened last night. The whole night was a blur to me. All I could remember was this gorgeous guy's face, dancing, drinking, and well, falling down. The last I remembered was Ben freaking out over something. Then everything was black after that.

"Here you go." Jenny said as she handed me 2 blue pills. Advil liquid gels. The most amazing creation on this earth. I swear it was the only thing that you could get without a prescription that actually worked for me.

"Thanks." I replied gratefully.

After about 20 minutes of laying down on my cool tiled bathroom floor and periodically leaning over the flush, I went to the living room. When I got there I just flopped down on the black leather couch and fell back asleep.

AN: Hope you liked it :)