REFLECTION
I'm trying to move on in order to wish for her happiness and start all over again.
However, it pains me and filled nothing but regret.
I gave Hisashi a favor to set him free from becoming one of "THEM".
But, Rei gave me her hatred that I will shoulder for the rest of my life.
I decided to fight alone against "THEM" in order to "atone" for my sins.
But, Rei stopped me in order for us to go together.
"Let's go together!" These are the words that made me happy and weak at the same time.
I think about what Rei told me after she stopped me from fighting against "THEM".
Are those words really true or she's only using me to replace what was lost to her?
Or is it only me who thinks that her words are nothing but a lie?
Rei talks about Hisashi again and I got mad.
Truth is I am so jealous of him; he's the one who should be alive, not me.
I saved a life of a little girl regardless of what Saeko said.
If Hisashi is in my place, he will never do what I did
Saya and Hirano chose me to become their leader, thinking that I have the skills.
I'm not fit to be one. Hisashi has more skills as a leader than I do.
Rei saw me that I alone was brave enough to risk my life for others.
But, the truth is that I only ran away from her by waiting for a good day to die.
I didn't comforted Rei from what Shidou did to her.
Yet, in my heart, I want to kill him and take that burden for her.
I admire Saeko, even though she finds joy in killing "THEM".
If I was stronger than her, I could protect her and shoulder her pain.
If Hisashi was still alive, Rei will be happy with him forever.
I will find my happiness with Saeko or other girls to move on.
If I have my own mirror, I want to see my reflection one more time.
I want to see right through my eyes if I have changed or not.
As a leader, their happiness is more important than mine.
I will take all of their pain, burden, and despair.
Someday, my own happiness will fade away.
But for now, I must fight to survive….