I first wrote this story on binder paper at school, but now I've re-written it, because the original version was crappy as hell, though very funny. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the Sasuke Emo Ninja song, but I do own the plot.

Warning: This is a YAOI story, meaning boyxboy! Also Sasuke is the main victim of pranks, so Sasuke fans BEWARE!

Pairing: SasukexNaruto, ItachixNaruto

If you don't like these pairings, or you don't read gay stories, I suggest you click the "back" button and search somewhere else.

Dedication: To my good friends Inu'sNinjaKitty, typewriter junkie, and Master Cai.

The School From Hell

1

In the Rain

A steady downpour of rain splattered noisily against two bobbing umbrellas moving down the street. An ebony-haired boy and his older brother were squeezed together under a dark blue one while a blonde boy carried a hideous orange one with big yellow smiley faces printed all over it.

"Sasuke!" the blonde boy yelled, catching the other boy's attention. "I bet I can beat you to school!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. It was another one of Naruto's ridiculous challenges. He replied smoothly, "I bet my money – and my ass – that you'll reach the gates ten minutes after I do."

Naruto smiled and began cackling evilly, "Bwahahaha! So if I prove you wrong, does that mean that I get both your fortune and that hunk of meat you call an ass?"

Sasuke blushed at the last statement, but then an evil smirk glued itself to his lips. "So you pay more attention to my beautiful ass than to me?" he teased, his eyes glinting. He watched through the veil of falling rain as Naruto's eyes widened and his cheeks and ears burned bright red.

"N-no!" he stammered, waving his one free hand around in a wild "no" gesture. "I-I didn't m-mean it that w-way!"

Itachi, Sasuke's older brother, watched them with amusement showing in his obsidian eyes. Sasuke chuckled and said, "Just yanking your chain, Naruto. Your face was just so damn priceless."

The telltale signs of a blush disappeared from Naruto's face as quickly as it had come. "You wanna fight, duckturd?!" he growled.

"Bring it on, fish cake!" was Sasuke's equally insulting answer.

"Hey!" Naruto protested. "Don't insult the name!"

He suddenly stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment. Or at least Sasuke – wait a minute. Holy shazznafrazz! Naruto was thinking?! What has the world come to? Naruto and thinking do not belong in the same category.

Sasuke cleared his throat and said, "You know, Naruto, Itachi is a senior and you're only a freshman, therefore he is your superior and he can get you kicked out of Konoha High."

Naruto snapped out of his musings and scowled, shooting back, "Superior my ass! That stupid weasel turd can't even spell my name right!"

Itachi's left eye twitched. "Idiot," he muttered.

Unfortunately, Naruto had superior hearing just like his older brother Kyuubi. "I heard that, you bastard!" he yelled. The two began to bicker like there was no end to tomorrow.

Sasuke sighed. Naruto was too clueless for his own good. One day that idiocy could come back and bite him in the ass.

"If you guys are finished arguing, may we move on so we can get to school on time and not be soaked through to the skin?" he asked, interrupting their storm of insults.

They both glared at him. While Sasuke was completely unfazed by Naruto's amateur glare (which he didn't consider a glare at all, more like a "Naruto-style anger face"), he was slightly intimidated by Itachi's famous "death glare", courtesy of the Uchiha family.

Naruto stopped "glaring" where he realized it wasn't affecting Sasuke. He then stuck his tongue out and yelled, "FAGSUKE IS A BIG FAT BUM!"

Sasuke bristled angrily at this insult and leaped at the blonde boy. Naruto smirked and dodged his attacks. He began to sing something he knew would get Sasuke riled up badly:

"Sasuke the emo ninja

Had a very emo way.

And if you ever saw him

You would really think he's gay."

"NARUTO!" Sasuke roared, tackling the smaller boy to the ground.

Naruto squeaked in surprise. "W-what the hell?! Get off of me, you asshole!" he said, blushing when Sasuke sat on him, straddling his hips.

The older boy leaned down and whispered, "What if I don't want to?" Poor Naruto squirmed on the sidewalk.

"We're in public, now get off me!" Naruto attempted to shove him off, but of no avail.

Sasuke giggled. "I know what you want, Naru-chan!" He got off of the fuming blonde and began to walk down the street, snickering.

Naruto growled, getting up from the soaked sidewalk, and back under his umbrella. "King of All Giggle Bitches," he muttered.

The trio continued down the sidewalk, with Naruto attempting – key word is attempting – to glared holes into the duck turd's head.

They reached the school grounds, but all three groaned when they caught sight of a large, white tarp flapping loosely above the school gates, wording:

MAJOR RAIN STORM: SCHOOL IS CLOSED!

"We went all that day for nothing?!" Both Naruto and Sasuke exclaimed simultaneously.

"Apparently yes, we did," Itachi admitted, frowning at the sign. He turned around and said to them, "Let's go home, then."

Naruto was crying fake tears of grief. "You guys woke me up and dragged me along in a fucking rain storm for this! You better have a good reason for making it up to me, ya faggots!"

"Naruto, I assure you that I am not a bundle of sticks," Itachi replied.

"Maybe not, but I'm sure each and every Uchiha in your family has a ten-foot pole shoved up their High-and-Mighty asses," Naruto said.

"Don't you dare insult the Uchiha name!" Sasuke defended.

"I can do whatever I want to!"

Suddenly a familiar, high-pitched voice rang out from behind them, "Oh, school is closed…stupid rain!"

"It's Sakura! Help!" Sasuke panicked, darting behind Naruto so he would be out of her sight, but it was too late.

"Sasuke!" the pink-haired girl, squealed, heading towards them with the usual crazy gleam of pure fangirlishness in her emerald eyes.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!" Sasuke screamed, running down the street. "Somebody help me!"

Naruto broke down laughing. Itachi's lips curved upwards in a semi-genuine smile.

Sakura somehow caught up to Sasuke and hugged him from behind. "Oh, my sweet honeybun!" she cooed. "I would give anything to be in your bed!"

"I would give anything to get the fuck away from you!" Sasuke ground out, gritting his teeth in irritation.

Naruto's bright blue eyes lit up. "Sasuke, anything?" he asked.

Sasuke snapped back, "Not everything."

"Can I have all your money?" the blonde asked hopefully.

"Never as long as I live will I hand my money over to you!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto grinned evilly. "So if you die, I get your money!" he cackled, pulling out a chainsaw from his backpack and starting after them.

Both Sasuke and Sakura's eyes popped out of their sockets at the sight of the whirring chainsaw. "Mother shit! How the hell did you get a hold of that?!" Sasuke shouted, taking off as fast as he could.

Naruto giggled. "Oh, Sasu-chan – " he earned himself a perpetual glare from said person " – I get your fortune if I kill you, am I right?"

"No, you are definitely wrong!"

"Oh, Sasuke! You're such a gentleman, saving a poor damsel in distress from an insane chainsaw wielder!" Sakura sniffed.

"I don't give a shit about you!" Sasuke paused for a moment to pry the leech off of him, then continued on his way down the street.

He felt a sudden impulse to stop and face the deadly chainsaw when Naruto sang:

"Sasuke the emo ninja

Had a very emo way.

And if you ever saw him

You would really think he's gay.

Then one ghastly ninja eve

Orochimaru came to say,

"Sasuke and your emo ways

Won't you come and be my slave?"

And how the ninja shunned him

Orochimaru said with glee,

"Sasuke the emo ninja

Won't you please marry me?"

Sasuke was totally infuriated and he, at once, whirled around and –

He only saw Itachi walking towards him. Both Naruto and Sakura had disappeared. The chainsaw was nowhere in sight. Sasuke gritted his teeth in annoyance, but went back home, stewing vengeful thoughts.

I know this chapter wasn't that long, but the next ones, I assure you, will be longer. Please review if you like this, and click the back button if you don't like yaoi, or you're a Sasuke fan. And keep in mind that I will not allow any flames, so if you don't like this, shove off.

MangaFreak15