Jacob knows nothing about me.. Not one little bit. He only knows the part about me being a Hybrid, and that I look older than I really am. I've known him since I was born, but he still knows nothing of what's happened in my life. What's happened when he wasn't around. How violent and brutal my family really is, and how they hurt me many times. I know, saying that kind of stuff about them.. It's scary, and that's why I don't tell anyone. It's too scary to believe. It's not easy to believe that my father, the one full of love and passion for me mother and me, could harm me so badly. It's hard to believe that small little Jasper, could give me mental wounds so bad, that they'd never go away. And Emmett.. Let's just say.. I won't ever speak to him again. Carlisle and Esme have no idea, otherwise it would have never happened. They don't know.. Because they've been dead.. Totally dead.. For about three years now. The Volturi had ripped them apart, for no apparent reason. It was weird.. But I never knew what had gone on.. But I have a feeling that my family did.

It all started about three years ago, right after Carlisle and Esme had been killed. My family started falling apart then.. Acting different towards each other. Emmett and Rosalie split up, and started taking it out on me. Rosalie and i had been somewhat close until that time, and then she started hating me. Whenever I'd just into her room, to ask a favor of her, she'd end up throwing something at my head and screaming horrible things at me. And then Emmett.. He beat me.. Made me beg him to stop.. Made me scream out as loud as I could in pain, as he.. Well.. Never mind.

And then my Mom and Dad. I think that was the worst. First my mom, going into deep depression, and hating me. She stayed in-love with my father, loved the rest of the family, but hated me. She'd tell me that she didn't love me, that she never did. That she wished she would have let them kill me when she first found out about me. She'd say that I was a disappointment to the whole vampire world, that no one would ever love me. I didn't let it get to me.. Because I knew it was just the depression talking. Or was it? But then.. Then everything with my Dad started. He started to always mess with my hair, kiss my cheeks, tell me he loved me. And then.. One night.. While Alice dragged Bella out of the house for some fun, Emmett and my Dad.. Did something. Something I'll never get over.

So.. Now that all of this has happened.. It's resulted into a few things.

1. I hate human contact. I won't let anyone touch me. It's not like I spaz out if they do.. It just.. Scares the shit out of me.

2. I can't sleep now. At all. Nightmares fill the precious little sleep I get, if I ever do.

3. The only sane part of our family left.. The only one that I can trust, Alice, has stayed by my side through all of this. She was the one i was always closest to, closer than I ever was with my Mother.

4. I'm having to lie to my best friend in the whole world. Jacob. he has no idea what's happened to me, he has no idea that when we're around my family, that the smile I have on, is literally and completely FAKE. It scares me that he might find out one day, and then treat me like I'll break if he ever gets near me. Or worse.. That he might run away, and never look back. Which, will probably result in, me either dieing of depression, or killing myself. Because, quite franking, him and Alice are all I have left in this world, and if they ever end up being taken away from me.. It won't be pretty.

So, what I have to do in about an hour, is put on that fake smile again, because Jacob will be coming over to see me, so that we can hang out. So I lie on the floor of my closet, buried in a pile of clothes, not being able to find anything I really could wear to cover up the bruises that were all over the upper, and lower, part of my body. Neck, shoulders, arms, chest, torso, thighs, inner thighs, and legs. If Jacob saw those, he'd want to know where they had come from, and I was in no position to tell him.. EVER.

That's when I heard a small knock on my door, making me jump up, and wrap my damp towel around my naked body, my eyes wide from shock. I composed myself enough to say 'Who is it?', and walk over to my bed. I already knew who it was, the only over person than Jacob to come in my room, Alice. But I still liked to be safe.

"It's me.." I heard Alice's small voice say, and it made me smile lightly.

"Come in." I said quietly, sitting down on my bed, fidgeting with a loose thread on the corner of the neon green comforter. I watched as Alice's little pixie body slipped through the door, and closed it quietly, and walked over to my bed, sitting down next to me. She had a bag in her hand, and she was grinning lightly. "What's that..?" I asked, eying the bag curiously.

"Something for you to wear," Her eyes lit up as she heard the small giggle escape my mouth, and pushed the bag towards me. "Here, I though you would look beautiful in it."

I took the bag from her hands, and opened it up, trying not to let my towel slip off while I did so. Inside the paper wrapping, inside the bag, was a long sleeved green, tight, v-neck shirt that would fit my curves perfectly, and go great with my hair. Also in the bag, was a pair of light blue jeans, rhinestones one the back pockets. I held the shirt up to myself, and smiled brightly. "Thanks Alice," I said quietly. "I love it, and it'll cover..." I let my voice trail off, not wanting to mention anything like that right now. I was happy about this day, because I got to see Jacob, my best friend.

"You're welcome, Ness. I have to get to work now though.. I'll be home later." She leaned in to kissed my cheek in a motherly way, but stopped when she remembered that I hate human contact, and stood up, looking into my eyes. "Be.. Careful while Jake isn't here. Don't come out of your room until you hear him.. Alright?" She asked sternly, and I nodded in agreement. Ever since everything had.. Happened.. Alice and I made a Pact to stick together, and listen to each other, even if we didn't always want to.

When I had first told Alice about everything that had happened, she hadn't believed me, she thought that I was just trying to get attention. But then, one day, she'd walked in on what Emmett was.. Doing to me.. And she'd believed me. She pretty much beat him until he was unconscious, or as unconscious as a vampire can get. And then she'd taken me to live with Jacob for a couple days, until she had figured something out. I had just told Jake that I wanted to spend some time with him, and being Jacob, he couldn't turn that down.

"I love you, Sweetie. I'll be home soon." I heard her mumbled quietly, just before she walked out the door, locked it, and closed it behind her quietly. The second she was out, I lied back on my bed, letting my towel slip off now that no one was in the room, not caring if I was just lieing there naked. Jacob always came through my window, and he had seen me naked plenty of times, so it was nothing new to him. I was comfortable with Jacob, there was no reason not to be. He would never hurt me like everyone else had. Even if someone told him he would die if he didn't, he'd still never do it, he'd rather die.

Another thing about Jacob, he was the only one that could touch me, without making me cringe and back away. Even when I was fully naked like this, he could hold me, caress my cheek, put his hands in my hair. He'd tried it once, and nothing had happened. But we never went farther than that. Everything about him was gentle and soft. His touch, his voice. Everything. I loved the way he could just sit there, and look like a dark angel, or something to that affect.

I heard a light knock on my window, and knew it was him. I raised my hand to wave him in, and then I heard the squeak of the hinges. I just stayed where I was on my bed, not moving one inch, while he did his normal routine. Taking off his shoes, then his socks, and then his shirt. After that, he came to lay next to me, and I could feel the warm heat his body gave off, and it made me shiver in a good way. I inched closer to him, and then turned, to where our chests were touching. It didn't mean anything though.. At least.. It wouldn't for now. I closed my eyes, taking in his musky scent, and grinned lightly.

"Decided to go with the birthday suit again today, huh?" He chuckled, lightly brushing my hair out of my face.

"Yep.. It's more comfortable than jeans and a t-shirt." I then realized something, I had bruises all over my body. But I decided to forget about them. I had an excuse this time, and he knew what it was.

He looked down at them then, I could feel his head move on the sheets. "Training with Alice again?" He asked me, and I could feel his eyes on my face.

"Yep, I don't think I'll do it for a while." I laughed, inching closer again. I felt his hand go to my waist, the warmth of his skin sending another pleasant shiver down my spine. He chuckled as I did.

"Go get dressed." He whispered in my ear. "I'm taking you out to the park. You need to get out of this house." He got up, and went to go sit in the chair in the corner, knowing that would get me up. I groaned lightly, and opened my eyes, feeling sad that his scent and warmth was gone. I got up, and walked over to my closet, and put the shirt and jeans Alice had given me on. I combed my fingers through my hair, and then threw some green flats on that matched my shirt perfectly. I walked back out to Jacob, and he smiled. "Perfect." He said softly, and put his shirt, socks and shoes back on. He took my hand then, and helped me out my window. Once I was on the ground, he jumped out, landing in a perfect crouch in front of me.

I rolled my eyes at him, and muttered 'Show off." under my breath. He laughed his throaty laugh, and took my hand, in a friendly way, and we started walking towards the park.

Once we were there, I headed right for the swings. It was my favorite place to think, other than the floor of my closer. I took the swing in the middle, and Jacob took the one next to me. Our hands were still clasped together, and I didn't mind. It was nice to know that he wanted to hold my hand as much as I wanted to hold his. Jacob had been my best friend since I was born. We'd spent almost every waking moment together, until three years ago, when it all happened. he had thought I was bored with him, that I had moved on to someone else and made best friends with them. It was so hard lieing to him, telling him everything was fine, and that I was just really busy. It was hard telling him these things when I knew it wasn't true, when I really want to tell him everything that was going on. I knew that I could trust him with it all, that if I told him never to tell anyone, that he wouldn't. I knew I could give him my trust. But I was still scared that he'd run away, or treat me like a little kid, and I could never stand for either of those.

I finally realized that Jacob was trying to get my attention, and that I was in a daze. "Nessssssssieeeee." He laughed lightly, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh..?" I said, coming back now. "Oh! I'm sorry.. I--I wasn't listening. I was thinking. Could you repeat what you said?" I asked, giving him an apologetic smile. He shrugged, and tried again.

"I said that.. I was thinking. You've been becoming more comfortable with me lately. I mean.. Like when I came over, you were just laying there on your bed.. Naked," I could see a light blush on his cheeks as he said the word. "I mean.. I wasn't taking it in any way at first, but then you started doing it more, and I started to think you were getting at something. I just.. I'm probably wrong.. I just wanted to say so." He was looking down the whole time he said this, now he looked up into my eyes, his eyes smoldering with something that I'd never seen in them. "What I'm trying to say, Ness.. Is that.. I think I'm in-love with you. Really in love. I can't keep you out of my head.. You're all I ever think about, night and day. I just.. I wanted you to know."

He had a small smile on, one that I returned. The truth was, I had never thought of Jacob that way.. Until about two months ago, the first time he'd ever seen me the way I was today. He had been surprised at first, then confused, and then accepted it when I told him to come lay down by me. I told him to hold me.. Just hold me, and he did, with no questions asked. It was nice, being able to breath in his spent for the hours that we lied there, to have his big strong arms around me, and to feel his warmth. It was perfect, and that's when I realized how I'd always felt about him. It took awhile to really see it, but after he left, it was clear. It was clear that I didn't want him to leave, that I wanted his arms around me forever. It was clear that.. I loved him.

That's why I returned his smile. Why I felt like doing so. I squeezed his hand, and he grinned wider. "I feel the same way." I said softly. And as if God was trying to ruin it, I slipped, and fell backwards off the swing. My hand was still clamped with Jacob's, so I ended up pulling him down on-top of me, and we started to laugh. We stayed like that, laughing, until our stomachs hurt. But then he stopped, and he caressed my cheek softly, and then kissed it. Then his hands found their way to me hair, and his fingers intertwined into it. Then he kissed me, soft at first, and then harder and deeper.

Something told me to stop, to push him off, but I didn't want to. But my stomach started to ping, and then that little voice in the back of my head started screaming DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

I gasped as a flash-back went soaring through my mind.

FLASH-BACK:

"NO!" I screamed as my dad threw me down to the ground, and Emmett held my arms down. My dad grabbed my shirt, and ripped it off, along with my shorts. Underneath was my bra, and small lace thong. He grinned evilly at the sight, and started placing kisses all over my neck, collarbone, chest, stomach. And then.. Everything was off, and I was completely naked. His hands were on me, rubbing smalls circles on my stomach as he kissed my mouth hard, Emmett still holding me down. That's when he..

END OF FLASH-BACK.

I gasped, and pulled back, and scrambled to back away. His face was a look of shock, and he let me go, looking worried. I was breathing heavily, or more like just trying to breath. I noticed that his hands were coming to cup my face, and I cringed slightly before I could stop myself.

"Did I hurt you..?" He asked softly, as he placed his hand on my cheek now, and I let him.

"No.." I whispered, lieing to him again, still trying to breath. "You just surprised me," I mumbled a little louder. "I'm fine."