Disclaimer: If this had anything to do with the actual production of Glee I would be worried. And highly amused.
Word Count: ~650
Author's Note: I'm not even going to tell you what sparked this fic. Suffice it to say that I couldn't resist the idea of writing it down.
A high pitched voice came from the choir room. "Do that one more time and you won't be getting any for a month!"
"No!" The response seemed to be automatic. The voice was male, and it sounded horrified.
"I'm serious. Do that again and there will be a one month ban."
"You can't do that to me; you know how much I need it!"
"Then you'd better stop doing that, hadn't you?" The voice was Kurt's, the Glee clubbers realised. But who was the other guy?
"Please don't do this to me! It's the best thing ever – now I've tried it I can't go back to how I was before."
"Just because you have this new-found desire to gobble down my creamy-"
"Fine! I'll stop it."
"Thank you."
"Can I have some, then?"
"Very well then," the high pitched voice conceded. There was a sound like a zipper being pulled down. The Glee club members eyed each other in shock. They heard the splat of liquid on a hand, and the wet sound of a mouth on something slippery.
"Not so fast!" Kurt's voice said. "Don't choke yourself!"
There was no response, only a damp sucking sound. Followed by a lot of swallowing sounds.
There was a sigh, followed by the other guy saying, "That was so good. Every single damn time…"
There was what, for those in the room, must have been a contented silence. For those outside, it was more awkward than the time they had overheard Brittany and Artie from the auditorium sound booth, when Brittany had accidentally switched the headset microphones to play in all the speakers.
After an interminable pause, the lower voice spoke again in a petulant tone. "I could go for a month without it."
"Oh really?" The higher voice was smug and satisfied. "Remember what happened last time I cut you off?"
"That was different, I… like, really needed it."
"You lasted two day! You said, and I quote, "I can't last any longer without it. It's so creamy and perfect and delicious; I just can't!"
"I can't help it!"
Kurt sighed. "I know. I don't know why I do it for you."
"'Cos you love it, too. You love how I love it so much."
"That's true. Anyway, it's time for Glee. Shouldn't the others be here?"
"Yeah. I'll go check if they're outside."
The listeners at the door scurried away towards their lockers, pretending to be just approaching as the door opened. Noah Puckerman peered out. He was licking his fingers and there was a blob of white at the corner of his mouth.
"Hey guys, there you are! Kurt was getting worried."
The club members filed in, trying not to blush as they made eye contact with Kurt, taking their seats without speaking.
Puck broke the silence. "Have you guys ever tried Kurt's panna cotta? It's like, the best dessert ever. He made it for Finn's birthday, like, four months ago, and I'm kind of addicted to it."
The Glee clubbers swivelled in their seats to turn to Kurt. He unzipped his back pack and pulled out a plastic carton filled with a white blob-like substance. "Sorry guys, I forgot to bring spoons. You'd have to use your hands like this Neanderthal over here." He jerked his head in Puck's direction.
"Dude, that's not fair. It's too good not to eat just 'cause we don't have a damn spoon."
The conversation drifted over to more normal planes as people realised what had really been happening prior to their entry to the room.
Mercedes moved over to her usual seat beside Kurt.
"Hey Kurt, isn't that panna whatever stuff made with-"
"Gelatin? Yeah," Kurt whispered. "But don't tell Puck. He might kill himself if he found out that the most delicious thing in the world wasn't kosher."