GoGo Tomago loved her suit.
It was yellow (which was her favorite color after purple), and she could practically fly. Thanks to Hiro, her suit gave her speeds that no bike had ever given her. She felt superhuman; she felt invincible.
But above all other things, her suit helped her forget.
There are times when it is too much for her. When Hiro or Fred get on her nerves, or when Wasabi annoyingly scolds her because of one stupid little thing, or when Honey Lemon accidentally 'poofs' the entire room into an obnoxious shade of pink.
But it's worse when she remembers him.
She berates herself daily. You are supposed to be strong. You are supposed to be the voice of reason. You are strong and you are a wall, no one can break you.
That was, of course, before Tadashi Hamada waltzed into her life and stuck to her like a piece of gum under her shoe. He made her feel funny things, made her say illogical things, made her face turn colors of pink she didn't even knew existed. Of course, she stopped feeling so strong altogether. He made her feel weak.
She just didn't imagine how weak she actually could be, when he was gone forever..
Sometimes, she looks at Hiro and realizes that he has a few mannerisms that Tadashi had. Sometimes, she looks at the laboratory he used to occupy, and wonder what he'd be doing if he was still here on earth.
Sometimes, she remembers things she doesn't want to remember, and she speeds off.
As she bursts through the streets of San Fransokyo, faster than a speeding bullet, possibly even faster than Superman, she lets herself fly, and lets loose.
Faster, come on GoGo, go faster, she chanted to herself, not feeling any pain as her legs try to push her past her speed limit. Her focus is concentrated on not bumping into cars, to narrowly making every corner, to jumping over puppies and kittens and bushes. Her focus is steered away from the lab, away from her troubles, and away from him.
She doesn't need the reminder that she's weak without him. She doesn't need a reminder that he's gone. She just needs to forget it. Him. Those feelings. Period.
Because when she slows down, she can hear him telling her to slow down, she can see his beautiful eyes, she can feel his palm against her cheek, she can hear him telling her that she matters-
She stops abruptly, her vision blurry. It takes her a few moments to realize that she's crying.
She shakes her head, disgusted by her weakness, disgusted by everything. Disgusted by the unfairness that is his premature death, that he was taken away from her, and that she couldn't even see his body because it burned down to ashes.
Her breathing is shaky, and she is again, thankful for the suit. She only ever lets herself break down when she's alone. When she's with them, with Hiro, Honey, Fred and Wasabi, she can't let them know how much it hurts her. She can't let them know how much she misses him.
"Enough of this," she mutters, and speeds off again.
GoGo circles the city, so certain that she can forget, so certain that a run around the city will clear her mind and make her sane again.
She always forgets that it never works, but she does it anyway. Speed is her drug, and yet, her kryptonite.
When she finally stops, she is far from civilization, in a remote, serene forest where she could always have peace of mind. She takes off her helmet, slowly approaches a tree, and slumps down.
And suddenly, like the day before, and all the days before that, the memories come rushing in, and she can't stop remembering.
His first hello.
His first smile to her.
His success with Baymax.
Holding his hand.
Making him blush.
His laugh.
His lips.
His heart, so open and willing to be shared.
His ears, ready to listen.
His voice.
And it is when, only when she remembers when she heard him stutter for the first time, when he seemed so vulnerable, and bared his soul to her, that she allows herself to cry.
I'm falling in love with you. And I don't know how to stop.
(*)
Wow. This was dark. Sheesh. The feels. I can't believe what happened. I just remember running and getting this idea stuck in my head. Ah, well. Short stories were never my forte.
I hope she wasn't too OOC for you! I was just thinking how, assuming the two had gotten together before BH6, how devastated GoGo would be when he died, and how hard it would be for her, since everyone looks at her to be the strong one.
Thanks for reading! Hope you review, too.