Yeah it's Yugi-oh.
"Yugi!" Tea yelled.
"Yugi!" Joey yelled.
"Yugi!" Tristan yelled.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP GUYS! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?" I screamed. Yet again I was in the middle of a duel whilst hearing their screaming whenever I seemed to lose some life points. It was often accompanied with over-exaggerated movement and a 10 minute friendship speech from Tea.
"No guys, remember that Yugi can defeat him, if we all just have hope!" Tea loudly proclaimed while Joey and Tristan agreed in unison.
I sighed, I don't know why he continued to put up with it. Everyday is the same thing, someone would randomly ask to duel Yugi without having prior knowledge if he was even a duelist. Yugi would accept, and then bring out me to duel for him since he's a spineless wimp with the brain power of a rock. I would grudgingly duel and beat the guy, who would have some strange revelation, and see the error of their way. And though he leaves on a good note, he is never seen again.
After the duel, everyone cheers and is happy and I go away while Yugi in congratulated for doing nothing, and they all walk towards some unknown destination. I once assumed that destination was school since they are never out of their uniform (Yugi even sleeps in his…wait does he even sleep?), but soon realized they never seem to arrive at their destination, nor do they ever go to school. And when they are at school, no teacher is ever present, there are no lessons, and everyone seems to just be dueling. I question Joey's and Tristan's age, they certainly don't look like high schoolers. Tea is just creepy, her background is unknown, and I wonder where she goes when everyone goes their separate ways. I even question Yugi, he lives with his grandpa but where are his parents? Even if I look through his memories, no memories of his parents seem to exist.
Then Seto will appear and declare some tournament, or try and duel me. I'll defeat him and he'll seek revenge on me but secretly understanding the friendship that we have. After all that is over, even if I attended a tournament, I am no richer, haven't done anything useful and wasted about three days doing nothing except make insane amounts of friendship speeches to an invisible audience. Then I go home, go to sleep, and the next day it all repeats, just with another random duelist.
My thoughts were interrupted by the nameless duelist who screamed some mediocre threats at me like "you're going down" and "I will win. You aren't good enough to beat me."
"Fuck you!" I yelled back, but the duelist didn't acknowledge my profanity. Whenever I yelled any curse it was never acknowledged, instead the other person would have a glazed over look and act as if it never occurred.
The duelist repeated his prior lines again, as if he has no knowledge that he has already yelled it at me. I rolled my eyes. My life points were 500, and his were 2000. I looked over at the field; I had no monsters out, and no trap cards. While my opponent had two monsters with 1800 attack and an assortment of trap cards.
I looked at the cards currently in my hand, they were all lousy monsters that weren't useful at all. I sighed, I knew what will happen. I would pick up a card, it'll be super awesome and a card that's never been in my deck before but now, for some odd reason, it is.
I picked up the card, it was "switch-a-roo" a ridiculous name but useful benefits. It lets me take my opponents life point, and all it's monsters in exchange for mine.
I looked at my smirking and proud opponent. I imagined the day that would unfold if I put this card down. The same routine over and over again… I stared long and hard at the card, then I looked up at my opponent, and smiled.
I ignored the switch-a-roo card and instead put out Kuriboh. The opponent looked at the monster reluctantly but he attacked. My life points went down to zero.
A loud crack echoed from somewhere.
I looked around to see Tea tilt her head slowly to the side. In a voice barely audible she said "Yugi…". Joey and Tristan stared at me, standing rigidly with a look of extreme distress. I looked away from them and at my opponent, he had disappeared. I looked back at my friends, Tea was weaving around in a sporadic movement while Joey and Tristan where laughing silently.
I know what had happened, I have disrupted the order of the world by losing, I have created chaos. Kaiba suddenly stood in front of me. He was speaking but it sounded strange. His voice was robotic and skipping, like a broken recorder. He reached for me saying in that metallic voice "Y-Y-Yugi, h-h-h-how c-c-ould y-y-ou" his head moving side to side frantically. I backed away from him.
Tea grabbed me from the back, her eyes wide with insanity. Hs screamed at Joey and Tristan "No guys, remember that Yugi can defeat him, if we all just have hope! We just need friendship! WE JUST NEED FRIENDSHIP" her voice was shrill. Her grip was iron-tight, I couldn't pry her away from me. Joey and Tristan continued to laugh but it had gotten louder and more hysterical. I took off my long jacket, and ran away. I looked back and saw Tea staring at me, her eyes still wide and a smile plastered onto her face, her hands tightly holding the coat. I ran as far as I could, I didn't want to be near that freak show.
I unconsciously ran all the way home. Grandpa was there sweeping in front of the store. His back was turned to me, I softly called to him.
"Grandpa?" His face slowly began to turn towards me, until it was turned all the way to the back, he was smiling insanely. A spout of vomit escaped him and was projected a feet in front of him, but he still continued to smile at me. I ran away further until I reached to some unknown place that Yugi and his friends never traveled. Suddenly I couldn't breathe anymore,. I clutched at my throat and fell to the floor. A voice in my head called to me.
"That's a no-no Yami" It was Yugi's voice.
"Yugi, stop what are you doing? You'll kill us both!" I screamed at myself.
"I'll have to kill us if you continue to do what you want. We need to apologize to our sacred God for what you have done." Yugi replied in his high pitched voice.
"What sacred God? What the hell are you talking about Yugi?"
"The God of everything, he made us, he loves us, he is almighty and powerful, our God, Nickalodean!" Yugi cried in my head. It was getting harder and harder to breathe.
"Okay, okay, I apologize God, please let me breathe!" I spluttered.
"No you must appease him, you must APPEASE HIM!" Yugi cried.
"I'll do whatever you want, let me breathe!" I screamed back. I could feel air pass through his throat again, he breathed deeply.
"Now go back" Yugi said loudly, I had no choice but to obey.
I walked back and stood awe-struck at the scene before me. Tea, Joey, and Tristan have captured the nameless duelist from before and were forcing him onto a pole which Kaiba was tying him onto. The duelist's face was streaked with tears.
Tea walked forward and lifted her hands to the sky.
"GOD WE ARE GIVING YOU THIS DUELIST AS SACRIFICE, MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT AGAIN!" Her voice echoed in the empty city.
"Come forward Yugi!" She screamed at me. She started to dance in circles in an odd fashion, uttering strange words in a demonic voice. Yugi went to the duelist. The nameless duelist sobbed loudly.
"My name is Martin Keeler, tell my wife I love her." He told me. Tea appeared from behind me carrying a knife with letters inscribed in a different language on it.
Tea thrust the knife into Martin's stomach. Martin coughed blood and dropped down. She handed the knife to me, I looked from her to the knife.
"You must carve the sacred logo of our God on his body!" Tea screamed in his ear. I started to cry, with my eyes blurred with tears I began to use the knife to carve, while Joey and Tristan chanted "Nickalodean" behind me in pure ecstasy.
The next day, everything was back to normal and no one seemed to say anything about the other day. After taking control of Yugi's body I tried to speak to them.
"About Martin…" I started. Tea, Joey and Tristan all simultaneously turned to me, their eyes wide with insanity. I never mentioned Martin again.
I also vowed to never divert from my linear life, ever again.
THE END