Kingdom Hearts 0.8 broke into my house, beat me up, and left me with all these feelings. Explicit smut/angst/fluff ahead. Happy reading!
The tall man sitting on the ledge isn't real, though he plays the part convincingly. He's got a strong jaw and a dreamer's blue eyes and the same brown hair that he always took so much care to deliberately tousle. Every time Aqua sees this phantom her heart aches for the familiarity of it. He is not really here, and she knows it.
She's seen this illusion too many times to be fooled by it anymore.
Aqua sits down on the lip of rock next to Terra's ghost, knees almost touching, like they used to do in better days. If she looks at Terra and not at the abyss beyond her feet it's almost like they're back in the Land of Departure. Sitting on the ledge and looking at the stars and dreaming of a million other worlds. Little bits of false light twinkle in the vast dark, a pale imitation of the real thing.
"Terra," she says. It echoes in the stillness.
He turns towards her voice, blue eyes meeting hers. There's sadness in them that was never there before, Aqua thinks. Or maybe there's just sadness in her now that was never there before.
"Hey."
Terra's voice is still the same warm rumble. What might he sound like, this apparition summoned up by the dark and her lonely mind, if she ever forgot that sound? She holds Terra's voice tight in her memory, because she dreads the day she can't remember.
Aqua's started to think that these conjurings of her friends inside her head are the only things keeping her sane lately.
"It's been a while," she says. "Hasn't it?"
There's no way for her to tell how long it's really been. Time doesn't pass in the dark realm, or at least not the way she's used to it. There's just the endless walk, one footstep in front of the other without even an ache in her legs to remind her to stop, no rumbling in her stomach or weakness in her body, her only weariness the one growing deep in her heart.
She tried counting up seconds once, tried adding them up into days or weeks - she was always good at math. Anything to keep the darkness at bay. She lost count around twenty thousand seconds and never tried again. In the real world it's been years but she hasn't changed one bit.
Mickey said that ten years had passed in the real world while she wandered alone in the dark, but how long has passed since then?
"I shouldn't stay still for too long," Aqua says to Terra's illusion. "It isn't safe to stop moving in this place."
Terra tilts his head at her, the blue of his eyes piercing and intense in the dark. "I miss you," he says, quiet. "You and Ven and-" His sigh is heavy, broad shoulders drooping under the weight of it.
Aqua has to hold back the ache in her chest before it spreads. What would she give to see sunlight again, to touch a single blade of grass, to see her friends smile? "I know how you feel. Why else would you be here?"
Terra leans closer to her, so close that he almost feels warm. He was always warmer than the rest of them, a big furnace who could go without his jacket in the snow, so warm that one arm slung over her shoulders could make a chilly night bearable.
"What do you mean?"
Aqua gasps, her view of her knees swimming in near-tears. "I mean you're not real, Terra," she says. "I dreamed you up so I wouldn't be alone down here."
"Are you sure about that?"
Aqua's head snaps up, her eyes meeting Terra's swiftly. His brow is furrowed, stare intense. Aqua can feel the warmth of his breath on her cheeks. She brings her hand up and then snatches it back to her aching chest. What if he disappears under her touch?
"What do you mean?" she asks. "There's no way you're really- really here."
"I don't know where I am or how I got here," Terra says, eyes roving their surroundings and settling back on Aqua. He smiles, soft and tender, and it pierces right to Aqua's heart. "I only know I'm here with you."
Aqua closes her eyes, bracing for the feel of nothingness under her hand as she stretches it forward. Fingers brush cloth and beneath it warm yielding flesh and hard muscle. Aqua opens her eyes one at a time to look at her fingers touching Terra's chest. Under her curious palm, Terra's chest rises and falls with his breath.
Aqua launches herself at his chest, nearly knocking him back onto the black rock behind, arms tight around his neck. Terra's arms find her waist, gentle and strong, and he holds Aqua while she buries her face in his chest and hugs him as hard as she can. Terra groans a bit under the strength of her arms but he doesn't let go while savors the feeling of touch. Aqua can't remember the last time she had a proper hug.
"I can't believe it, you're really here!" Aqua can feel the wet heat of her tears soaking into Terra's shirt but she is beyond caring. He smells just like she remembers, like sweat and warm earth and home.
He rubs her back in long steady strokes and Aqua instinctively leans into the touch. "I'm here Aqua. I'm here."
Aqua leans back from the embrace, joy tempered at last by reason- though not gone. She looks into his familiar blue eyes. "But how are you here? Last time I saw you I couldn't touch you," shei says confused. She pulls back, away from the warmth of Terra's arms, suspicion cooling her. She hasn't made it this long in the realm of darkness without cultivating some self-preservation. "You said that you weren't yourself, that Xehanort was using you to get to Ven."
At the name Xehanort, Terra flinches away. Aqua reaches out, pain for him seizing her heart, but she cannot close that gap until her own worries are assuaged.
"You're probably right not to trust me," Terra says, not meeting her eyes.
"Terra."
"I don't know how I can be here with you, but I know that my heart is still not free of him," Terra spits, bitter. "I can't be sure that he won't bleed in again Aqua. That he won't hurt you."
Aqua takes Terra's hand, clasps his fingers tightly in hers to lend him whatever strength she can. Terra looks into her face, desperate with hope. Aqua smiles. "I believe in you Terra. I believe that you will win out against him, and that we'll find our way back to each other, you me and Ven. And a powerful enough dream is all we need, right?"
Terra gazes at her, a long and holding stare that has Aqua struck to the spot with his naked admiration for her as she echoes his words from so long ago. "Aqua…"
"So we won't talk about Ven, or secrets or Keyblades," she continues, shifting closer so her thighs brush his, so her hand thrust out behind her for support is nearly encircling his back. This close she has to lean up to look into his eyes. "There's plenty of other things we can do."
Aqua tilts her head up and presses her lips softly to Terra's. He stills and then relaxes into the kiss, gently cupping the back of her head. His mouth is warm like the sun, and for the first time since she fell into this wretched place Aqua feels suffused with light.
"I've been waiting so long to do that," Aqua says, moving away only by inches, their noses still brushing. She's had so long to dwell on all of her bitter regrets. "Too long. I was so stupid…"
Terra chuckles. "You? You were always the smart one, where does that leave me and Ven?" he says.
Aqua chuckles and leans her forehead against Terra's. "Our friendship was too important to me, I didn't want my feelings to damage it," she says. "It seems like such a stupid fear now, after everything that's happened."
Terra strokes Aqua's cheek, thumb tracing her tear tracks and continuing down her jaw line. "Not that stupid. I was afraid of the same thing." He tilts her face up by the chin, kisses her again, sweet and lingering with all the longing they both have felt. "We've both learned a lot of lessons, and most of them haven't been fair."
"No, they haven't been," Aqua says. "Do you know? A fairy godmother told me years ago that light wasn't the best thing to fight against the darkness and I didn't understand what she meant, but I think now I know what is best to fight against darkness?"
Terra's eyes flicker over Aqua's face. "And what's that?"
"Love."
Aqua leans in and kisses Terra again, this time stronger, with the insistence waves crashing against stone. He responds, leaning in, his lips bruisingly strong against hers. Terra kisses like a man lost in a desert might drink his first taste of water, drinking her in greedily, his hands at the nape of her neck drawing her closer. Aqua opens her mouth, full of need for the sensation of touch, for the feel of Terra here at last in her arms.
Aqua slides her hands up Terra's chest, delighting in the feel of his musculature, the flex and give of him as he shudders with desire under her fingers. He moans, low in his throat, and the sound is a bolt of light through Aqua that warms her with desire. Terra pulls her close, hands on her hips, so that Aqua ends up nearly in his lap. He's aroused, firm against the brush of her thigh and press of her hips.
Aqua slips Terra's suspenders from his shoulders. She returns to his shoulderblades, committing the feel of the hard muscle to memory. Terra moans his appreciation and presses his mouth into Aqua's, unleashing another burst of light in Aqua's abdomen.
She inches Terra's shirt up, his bare skin warm and welcome to the touch. It reminds her of summer days in the Land of Departure, when Terra would take his shirt off for training and Aqua would admire him longingly from afar. Well no longer. She savors the solid feel of Terra's sternum, his pectorals, his abs before eagerly pulling Terra's shirt over his head. It catches on his neck, further tousling his unruly hair, leaving him delectably disheveled..
Terra pulls back, surprised by Aqua's audacity. "Are you sure, Aqua?"
"Yes," Aqua says easily, though she is warmed by Terra's consideration. "I've been alone in the dark for so long Terra."
"Hmm." Terra smiles, so full of affection it breaks Aqua's heart, and rests his forehead against hers. Even this tiny touch after so long alone is enough to take the breath from Aqua. "I understand what you mean. We should move away from the edge."
Aqua glances back at the forgotten edge which looms behind her, reminded of the dangers of this place. There are no Heartless around for the moment, but it would be a poor move to let her guard down fully now. A chill from that blackness passes over Aqua's shoulders, and she huddles instinctively back into Terra's warmth. "Yes lets."
Terra scoops Aqua up easily, whisking her away to a safer vantage point and settling her down as gently as he can on the cold stone. Aqua might in her wildest fantasies have hoped for a better venue than the middle of a rock path in the Land of Darkness, but here and now this is more than enough especially when Terra kisses her hard and slides his hands up her shirt.
Aqua lets Terra take the lead, arches into his touch when he palms her breasts. His body is heavy and warm atop her, his arousal apparent in the single-minded fervor with which he attends to teasing her. His fingers find her nipples, surprisingly deft, stoking her arousal with each brush of her tender flesh. Terra skims his hands over her ribcage and down her stomach and back up again. Aqua's shirt rides up in the wake of Terra's hands. He kisses her exposed flesh, his mouth hot and tender. He returns at last to her breasts, their undersides just barely exposed, stroking them leisurely. Aqua mewls, needing more, grinding her hips into Terra's firm thigh. It's scant relief. He smirks, amused, and just kisses Aqua again.
"Terra," she whines, breath short and panting. "Please.."
Again, that smirk. It's unfairly hot. "Do you need something from me?" Terra is deceptively innocent- he knows exactly what she needs.
"Touch me Terra," she orders. "I need- I-"
"You're still so bossy," he says, amused. Aqua's fond rolling of eyes is cut off when he obliges her need, his hand traveling to where Aqua most wants it, pressing against her through the thin fabric of her shorts. Pleasure bursts through her body as she grinds against the palm of his hand, the friction delicious if not quite enough. She can't stop the small sounds that echo from her throat into the waiting darkness, reduced as she is to her base needs.
Terra slips his hand into Aqua's shorts. She's so slick that his fingers glide easily, parting her folds. Aqua gasps. Closes her eyes. Terra presses down on her clit and she bucks her hips, back arching up off the stone. He presses his fingers into her again and Aqua squeezes her eyes shut.
She's no stranger to taking care of herself. Even here in the long darkness she's found places to stop and- pretend for a while that she's not alone, that Terra is with her and touching her.
It doesn't compare to his fingers slipping deliberately inside her, teasing out insistent moans as he delves deeper. She can feel the two fingers inside of her, especially when Terra crooks them and she has to bite her lip to keep from screaming.
Terra's fingers press deeper, finding some spot sweet and hot inside of her. The sound Aqua makes is almost a sob as she fucks herself on Terra's fingers.
Terra's been using his other arm to prop himself up and Aqua clutches at it for stability as he easily works her into a frenzy. She opens her eyes again at last.
He's grinning, smug at wringing such a reaction from her. How can he be so calm when she's burning up inside? Aqua reaches up, pulls his head down for another kiss. It's sloppy and rushed, lips and tongues colliding. She grabs a fistful of his hair, accidentally tugging it in her eagerness. Terra's fingers slip out of her but he resumes his attentions on her clit, keeping her on the brink.
A shift of Terra's thigh, and Aqua learns that he's not nearly so collected as he's pretending to be. She would love to let this go on forever, but they're both so ready. She's not entirely sure what sort of magic brought him here, and she can't stomach the idea of him disappearing before they're both fulfilled.
"Stop Terra," she gasps through one of his punishing kisses. He stills his fingers, leaving Aqua quivering with desire. Terra looks at her, blue eyes wide and waiting for her to take the lead. Aqua pants shallowly a moment, catching her breath, taking in the sight of Terra. Oh, she has missed him. "I want you. I'm ready."
Terra nods, understanding immediately what she means. There's a great deal of shifting and rustling with cloth as Terra unlaces his pants and Aqua peels down her shorts and underthings. Not all the way - the threat of the heartless is ever-present - but enough to get the job done.
There's no protection in the Realm of Darkness, Aqua considers. She'll just have to rely on her magic to do the trick if there are any consequences, if the Terra who is with her is real enough for there to be consequences. Necessity has made her a lot better at magic lately.
Pants dealt with, Terra positions himself above Aqua. He cups her chin, kisses her, surprisingly tender in the midst of everything. Aqua leans into the kiss, prolonging it, love lighting her heart.
Terra adjusts, lines himself up at her entrance. His cock is hot, hard and pulsing against Aqua's skin, and it feels so good. He thrusts forward, missing the mark by centimeters, succeeding only in stimulating her further. That's not so bad, although his gaze slides away, embarrassed. Aqua reaches for his face, presses her forehead to Terra's.
He tries once more and- there, oh yes. It's a strange sensation, not bad but rather uncomfortably full as he slides slowly into her. Aqua grunts, shifts her hips a little to get used to the feeling, and Terra stops moving.
"Are you alright?" he asks, concern evident. "The master said it might hurt at first, for girls…"
Aqua can think of very few things she would like to think less about than her former master and their long-ago sex-ed lessons while she is fucking his other student.
"Terra," she says, fond. She leans up, kisses him, mouth sliding hot against his. "Shut up and move."
Again, Terra obliges Aqua's wishes, his hips stuttering forwards and driving his cock deeper inside. It's better when he's moving, or maybe she's just getting used to the feeling. She lets out a breathy gasp when he fully bottoms out and a sharp burst of pleasure arcs through her.
It takes them a few moments and some adjustment to find a comfortable rhythm, both of them starting and stopping. The rocky ground, cold and hard beneath, does this effort no favors. They manage eventually, Terra setting up a steady rhythm, applying that single-minded focus of his to every snap of his hips. Every stroke is enough to elicit another bust of pleasure, building rapidly like it did with his fingers inside of her. Aqua finds that when she rolls her hips just right Terra makes the most amazing sounds, feeding right back into her arousal and driving her to even greater heights.
"I can't think when you do that," Terra admits through ragged breaths.
"Then don't think," Aqua counsels, and rolls her hips again. Terra kisses her like a man driven, fingers tangling in her hair. It's the kind of kiss that can chase away the darkness and Aqua savors it. She's never needed a kiss more.
Terra picks up his rhythm after that, driving into her hard and fast. Aqua wraps her legs around his waist, mewling with delight every time he brushes against that sensitive spot inside of her. Her sounds seem to spur him on, and he sets a punishing pace that is almost impossible for her to keep up with. She settles for letting her hands rove, exploring the perfectly chiseled planes of Terra's chest.
"Aqua," he pants, thick with lust. "I won't last much longer like this." And in one smooth move Terra takes her by the hips and flips her on top so that his back is to the hard ground. Aqua has to pause to get her bearings, marveling at the ease with which Terra moved her. He was always so strong.
It's easier to move like this, her knees taking the brunt of her weight as Aqua shifts experimentally on Terra's cock. He groans, a drawn out and needy sound. She sets her rhythm to his sounds, loving the way they echo in her own pleasure. In her wildest imaginings she'd never thought that hearing Terra aroused would be this, well, hot.
She soon gets lost in her own pleasure, in grinding herself against him, in the feeling of him inside of her. Terra stares up at her while she rocks on his length, looking awestruck. His hands find purchase on her breasts, her ribs, her hips. With each touch Aqua loses herself a little more to the oncoming sensation building inside of her.
His fingers at last find her clit and that is enough, his fingers on her and his cock inside of her. It takes only two or three strokes and something white-hot bursts inside of Aqua. Her back arches, toes curling in her shoes, as she crests the wave. She's left feeling all limp and quivery inside.
She continues to rock on top of Terra, like some soft wave lapping at the shore. She feels light through her body, radiating from her heart and belly through the rest of her body. This, this was the sensation she was looking for.
Her finish seems to have unleashed something in Terra. He flips her again, so quickly her shoulders knock into the rocky floor. His thrusts are wild, untamed by any of his earlier self-control. Even in the aftermath of her release this sudden escalation of pace draws out Aqua's own pleasure. At the very last second Terra draws out of her and spills all over Aqua's exposed stomach, his hips still stuttering as he falls limp on top of her.
Aqua savors Terra's weight above her, pressing her down into the rock. It means that he's real and he's here with her and she can touch him. She runs her hands up and down his sides, still heaving with exertion, just taking pleasure in the feel of him. Terra leans down and kisses Aqua, lips lingering.
Eventually it's too much and she can't breathe and Aqua pushes Terra off of her. He does not go far, just rolls over with his arms outstretched. With Terra gone comes an awareness that she's a mess, all sticky and sweaty. Aqua closes her eyes and summons up enough magic to clean them both off before rolling her shorts up and her shirt down.
"That's very handy," Terra remarks when the light from the magic fades.
"No baths in the realm of darkness," Aqua says. Terra laughs, the sound warm and rumbling through her. She snuggles closer, laying her head on Terra's broad chest. Listens to him breathe. Under her fingers she can feel his heartbeat, still racing just like hers. "What do you think would have happened to us, if everything hadn't gone wrong?"
Aqua knows that she's courting pain to ask what-ifs, but she's dwelt with that pain a long time.
"It would be me you and Ven, like it should be. I would have confessed my feelings to you after attaining my Mastery," Terra says. He's looking out into false lights in the darkness like they're the twinkling stars.
"Maybe I would have confessed to you first," Aqua teases. "You always were slow on the uptake."
Terra nudges Aqua gently with his shoulder. "Maybe you would have. I still would have kissed you every day, every second I could have. We'd both be Masters of course, so we'd travel the stars and keep the worlds in balance. But we'd always come back home to one another."
Aqua remains like that - her head on Terra's chest, his arm curled around her side, letting him spin stories of a better world - for as long as she can. It's not long enough. Even if Aqua can touch him, Terra can't remain forever in this realm, as much as Aqua tries pretend otherwise.
A glow builds as light fills up the cavern. It's coming from Terra, his body dissolving slowly into little bits of light. Aqua clings to him harder, even as she can feel his corporeality slipping slowly away with each breath. She buries her head into his chest, trying in vain to keep from crying.
"I don't want you to go." Her voice tears from her in a sob.
Terra wraps his arms around her. They hardly feel solid anymore. "I don't want to either," he says. He sounds resigned. Fingers almost entirely dissolved into light tilt Aqua's chin up, so that she is looking into Terra's eyes. "Aqua, listen to me. Whenever you need me I'll be here." He presses his hand against her heart, which glows when he touches it. "I promise."
Aqua tries to nod, all the things she never said to him on the tip of her tongue, but it's too late. The light that was Terra breaks apart into its component motes. Aqua grasps at it, trying to scoop it up and hold it close, but it slips through her fingers. "Terra!" she cries.
He's gone, leaving Aqua sobbing on the stone where they just made love. There's only the fading light and the ache inside of her to let her know that any of this was real. And once that fades, then what?
She waits as the lights flicker out one by one, unable to bear the darkness in this place, dwindling away until only one is left. It lingers, slowly fading as it drifts towards Aqua. She watches its slow passage as it bobs haltingly closer and then alights upon her breast and there sinks into her heart, warming her from inside.
"Aqua," she hears Terra's voice. "Don't give up."
Aqua takes a deep breath and stands up. She dusts herself off and stares ahead into the long darkness. She starts walking forward.