Because most of the fans seem to be into Jash, I decided to give the pairing a try, and this fic is the result. ;) More Ash than Jash, I guess, or maybe not? Find out yourself! And have fun! ^^ Also, many thanks to Bookreader525 for her amazing beta-work! :)
Ash is getting up like all the other animals do, watching the bride walking down the aisle. Like all the other animals, she smiles, but unlike all the other animals, she hopes that no one can see behind her act. Because she's wearing a mask, a mask of happiness, a mask of a smile. She only hopes her mask looks real enough and isn't cracking somehow. Because if there were any cracks, someone could see the sad face hiding behind that smile. The hurting face. The crying face.
Ash watches the bride's every move, and every step that brings her closer to the altar is a step on Ash's heart.
But then Ash sets eyes on Johnny waiting at the altar for his bride. And he looks so damn happy, grinning like an idiot, that Ash adds some extra layers to her mask. Just in case.
The thing is Ash even likes her. Well as much as she can like someone who is being closer to Johnny than she'll ever be. She can't even blame her for taking Johnny's heart. She only took a heart that was free, not knowing that Ash's own hand had been lingering over this heart for so long. For too long. It's not her fault. It's Ash's fault, and Ash's fault alone.
She had her chances, lots of them, actually. There was a time when she could have gotten as close to Johnny as this female walking down the aisle is now.
But all that counts now is seeing Johnny happy. Because when Johnny's happy, she can be happy, too. Or so she's trying to tell herself. It doesn't work, though. Never did. Because every time she sees Johnny talk about his girlfriend, then fiancée, now bride, and he gets that dreamy look on his face, it's another stab to Ash's heart. And the more it hurts, the more Ash smiles. She's gotten really good at it now. Johnny never became suspicious. Nor did anyone else.
It's Johnny that counts, though. It's always Johnny.
It always has been Johnny.
When the bride reaches the altar, reaches Johnny, he gives her that dreamy, loving, adorable look that it's almost too much for Ash to watch. It sends a burning flame right through her heart, making her feel like she's consumed by fire from the inside. She tries to breathe, but suddenly, there's this tightness around her chest and no matter how hard she wants to, no air is filling her lungs.
It just hurts.
She wonders if it'll catch someone's eye if she looked away now. It's just too much to handle, and she's afraid her mask might break in two once and for all, revealing her true face. She's afraid she might run away, crying and sobbing. And Ash realizes she can't do that. She can't ruin this for Johnny.
So she forces the corners of her mouth up a little more. And it hurts. A lot. But she ignores it.
Come on, Ash! she tells herself. You can do this! For Johnny!
So she forces the corners of her mouth even more up. And it still hurts. But she doesn't care.
However, almost breaking down like that brings back the memory of a time when she actually did break down like that. A time that feels like ages ago.
The time when it all began...