AND SASUKE OPENED HIS DOOR.

"HOLY SHIT A BEE!" He squealed like the gay sissy he was for the first time in about half an hour.

Oh why couldn't he make it the whole day?

Hiding his gayism was very hard. But luckily he was a ninja. And Ultimately Ninjas... were masters of disguised.

He didn't know it but today he would find his partner, his butt brother, the Uke to his Seme. Especially bad for him was the fact that he was going to come close to being Bro raped, by his number one bro. No one would have suspected it of Naruto, but as they say looks can be deceiving.

Naruto went for looks you see. Not that Sasuke knew.

Naruto had certain types of people on his list of 'to do' which really meant, 'to do'. Not that Sasuke knew.

Sasuke wasn't on that list. Naruto knew this.

Neji was on this list, Sasuke would however never be on this list. Gaara might have also been on the list, but Naruto didn't want to get sand in his pee hole. It was a great day for gay plots to be unleashed, the sky was blue, the birds were chirping, and somewhere in Konoha Iruka was giving up the balloon knot.

"Today... I'm going to do some fairly homoerotic things!" Yelled out Naruto for the world to hear.

Unfortunately the world seemed to hear him and just felt like spitting on Naruto, that was about when a bird poo'd on his head. Being the cool cool as a cu-cum-ber ninja he was, he spit in his hands and used the excretion material as hair wax.

The mirror said he looked okay, and the mirror was ALWAYS right.

Naruto felt like something exactly like this had happened before, until he remembered that Sasuke used duck butt wax on his hair.

Well except for the time he thought Sakura was packing some meat in the front. Honestly... she was so flat chested that he thought she was a he for most of his life. He thought she had just been fairly feminine, hell Haku proved that a dude could look better then most chicks he met.

"Haku..." He sighed suddenly remembering the She-he that would have been his if not for Zabuza's douchery. "Thinking of all the butt-love we could have shared is the worst Haku! DAMN YOU ZABUZA WITH YOUR TONED CHEST!" His angst moment of the day had, he proceeded to leave his apartment prepared to hunt down and sodomize Neji until the sun peaked over the horizon again.

Naruto bounded across the rooftops toward the Hyuuga mansion(s) His feet innocently cracking the roof tiles as he went!

Beliving the world is his oyster, and Neji his pearl, Naruto almost caught himself jumping into a musical number about the heights he could reach when orgasms peaked over the sun. Almost.

Mayhaps tomorrow he would really thrust himself into a good musical number though, that would be wonderful.

Tomorrow just might be his day.

The Hyuuga building came into view, and that's about when Naruto scanned the building over once for Neji's room.

Of course he stopped to ask for directions from Hinata, just like a good gentlemen would. Gentle for genital of couse, to Neji's room.

Neji's room always fascinated him. His own room was a rather bland colour of white, while Neji's was a dark pink, with swirls of purple mixed in. The photo of Konoha's male ninja population on the vanity desk disturbed him in such a way that it turned him on with intensity. His favourite masterpiece was Genma, in a speedo. The frame of the bush made it oh-so-perfect.

He had formed it into a G with with his piece acting as an underscore. Although the picture of Aoba the man-whore that he was, always stood on par with that of Genma and his package. Nothing though compared to his Neji... for he would be his, one way or another. By hook or by bro rape.

Naruto quickly loosed most of his clothing so he would supa sexy for Neji and then sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back ever so slightly.

It was like he was saying 'I'm ready Baby'

But his pants being unbuttoned make us all chuckle because he's Naruto.

He closed his eyes and savored this moment, Neji would be home soon. He had mapped out his schedule for this day. He had also slipped some questionable materials into Neji's morning meal... to help lower his inhibitions. He'd be tapping Hyuuga today, and tonight, and tomorrow morning if he had anything to say about it. Then he'd flash Hinata... just to see her faint. Maybe see if he could rope Sai into this situation as well.

He flinched at the thought of girls.

And was reminded of Sakura for the second time that day. Oh dear sweet lord. It was horrible.

To take his mind off them, he backtracked to his previous thoughts. Sai was another story altogether. His rope fetish, and his tendency to show his manlymanbits without any shame had made him a target. Ah, the good old days. It was as Naruto was reminiscing that Neji entered the room, carrying a long, plastic toy and humming the chorus of Gay Bar.

"Lets start a war! Lets start a nuclear war... at the gay bar gay bar gay bar!" Sang Neji to himself not noticing Naruto. He bent over to put down the object he was carrying exposing his backside to Naruto who knew it was time to act.

"You know Neji... if you wanted me to see it all you had to do was ask!" Neji quickly straightened up and turned to face Naruto.

"N-Naruto! What are you doing..." It was then that Neji noticed the state of Naruto's clothing. Naruto slowly walked over to Neji trailing a finger down his chest.

"I think you know what I want Neji... and I'm going to have it one way or another." A perverse leer crawled onto Naruto's face, while Neji slowly paled and started to shake.

"No! Not like this Naruto!"

"You have two options Neji... either I can take this shit!" Hissed Naruto before grabbing onto Neji's lower extremities. "Or you can give it to me willingly, now what is it gonna be?"

"Oh, dear god, oh dear GOD!"

"Hmm... God's not the name you're gonna be screaming at the top of your lungs in a minute, you pussy whipped man. My pussy whipped man..."

"Hahaha! You should have seen the look on your face Neji!" Said Naruto giving a fake laugh to sooth Neji and get him to play into his hand... and other parts. "Drink this sake man, it'll help you relax, we can listen to some music if you want, I got Daoji Matheru cds on me."

Neji slowly and purposefully drank the sake not noticing the slightly out of place taste due to his state of shock. "That was a horrible prank to pull Na-Na-ruto!" Croaked out Neji as his senses seemed to dull.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't help it though! Hey, it's getting hot in here Neji, you should take off your shirt!" Said Naruto before taking off the now in a stupor Neji's shirt. "I see you got the package I sent you too! I'll show you what it is in a minute. "Wow... really hot in here maybe you should take off those pants Neji!"

"Wha... what? Yeah... yeah you're right. It is really hot in here." Said Neji as he slowly bent over to remove his restrictive pants. He was in position now, and Naruto was going to capitalize.

"Hey Neji," He paused in the pulling down of his pants, looking back at Naruto and giving him the old fish eye, "You know that package?"

"Y-Yeah? What... what was it?"

"A Big. Black. Dildo! It's time Neji, you should have given it up willingly!" And with that Naruto descended on Neji's ass like a thunderbolt from Zeus himself.

"WHERE'S THE GAMECUBE!" Neji screamed just as 'it' happened to him for the first time.

That was when Neji decided that it was very much different from his play toys scattered in secrets spots around the room.

The toys in the room were alive with glee, watching from their hiding spots as the horrendous happened to Neji, who was beginning to scream like a pansy girl. It was this scream that attracted the ears of one Uchiha Sasuke. His finely attuned ears perked, and swivelled around, looking much like a moose. Hearing such a beautiful noise, for it was similar to his own girly screams, Sasuke took off into the air like a dog after a bitch on heat.

Sasuke rushed to the sound, hustling through the corridors of the Hyuuga compound. He noticed worringly that he was approaching Neji's room. He heard a heavy breathing that he quickly recognized as Naruto's. He sneaked to the door of the Hyuuga prodigy's room, opening it a crack to peer in. What he saw shocked and horrified him.

He tried to look away but he couldn't! This was his man, his butt brother... with another man, IN another man. For all his angst about it though, he looked on, his sharingan eyes glued to the scene recording each moment eternally in his eyes. A choked sob escaped his lips before he could mask it. He cursed under his breath for he knew that Naruto had heard him.

Naruto's head jerked up at the cry that was not Neji's and swiveled his head around trying to look for the source. Seeing the red and black eyes of his teammate peeking through the door he did the one thing he could think of in this situation.

"Eh... you want sloppy seconds or something?"

Sasuke wailed lightly.

"N-N-N-N YOU!" he blabbered.

"Me?" Naruto was confused. Naruto no know what to do.

Sasuke Sobbed a bit "I w-w-www-want you!" he sniffled.

"WOT? Okay, Woah thur buddy. Let's just hold for a minute here." Naruto thrust in a bit harder (Into Neji I suppose) and paused.

And like pressing 'play' on a stereo, Neji wailed, "NARUUUUUUUTOEEEEEEE!"

"Mission: success!" Naruto exclaimed, pumping his fist before bringing it down to pump Neji.

Naruto bent over Neji and spoke softly into his ear. "You were a champ... next time be ready for me in advance though, and have lube dammit, I'm chaffed now!" He got up and turned to Sasuke exposing himself in the process. "As for you... I'm not interested in duck haired men, with narrow asses. Not when I can have Neji-kins here." Stated Naruto firmly slapping Neji on his buttocks, causing Neji to twitch and squirm.

2 days later...

Sitting on Shikamaru's bed, after illustrating his story with pictures on a piece of paper, Naruto and the lazy man of wisdom heard a whimper within the closet.

Opening the closet door Shikamaru paused to stare for a moment and then sighed. Closing the door he spun on his heel, pointing at the wooden closet door he asked, "Sloppy seconds?"

Grinning at the image of Neji wrapped in a blanket and huddled to the back of the closet sucking his thumb, Naruto grinned wryly, "You know it."

"We could give him the old rotisserie style?" Said Naruto, while Neji huddled further and further into the back of the closet.

Shikamaru's eyes gleamed with a faggoty glint as he nodded, his shadows reached out to the now shrieking Neji, who tried to resist with all his might.

"Troublesome..."