Disclaimer: All characters belong to the fabulous Dick Wolf
A/N This idea came to me in a collection of weird dreams, including one where ATM machines were put in my school. I disgress!
Bench Talk
She had to get away – from everyone and everything. She was being choked to death by her own life and felt like she was desperately screaming for help at the top of her lungs but no one would even look up.
Her relationship (if you could even call it that) was at an all time low. Now he was back with Kathy, EJ and the rest of his clan their relationship had begun to completely disappear. She felt used now all of a sudden he didn't need to be in her company because he had his family back. Until the next time She thought bitterly.
She missed how things used to be and wished she could revisit those times to remind herself to indulge on those good times before they went wrong.
She found herself seated on a park bench in the middle of central Park. The noises going on around her blended in as she slowly attempted to shut herself away from the world. Before she could achieve any of this, her train of thought was disrupted when an old man flopped down beside her.
"You look how I feel" he chuckled as if he'd known her his entire life although she could have sworn she had never seen this man before. Deciding it would be rude to simply ignore him she nodded and was glad to indugle in a conversation with someone who wasn't mad at her.
"Tell me about it" she replied taking a sip of hot coffee. The liquid scolded her tongue. Great, even my coffee hates me!
"Tough day?" he asked sympathetically. Olivia chuckled sarcastically.
"How about a tough life?" She corrected his statement. The old man sighed at her obvious trouble.
"Life is meant to be tough" He said, sounding wise. The last sort of person Olivia wanted to talk to right now was someone who was going to tell her what to do.
"Mine's completely breaking down" She said. The man looked at her with his head cocked to one side.
"Wanna talk about it? I'm a good listener." He said patting her hand. Olivia didn't even flinch, everything about this meeting was odd yet she didn't feel the slightest bit unnerved.
She couldn't believe she was sitting on a park bench with an old man, spinning her life story though she found it difficult to stop herself once she got started.
"I'm a cop, and it's nowhere near as glamorous as TV shows make it out to be. It's a tough job, you have to be alert all the time or it could cost someone's life. Sometimes I don't think I'm cut out for this job"
"How long have you been a cop?"
"9 years! I'm more than a cop-I'm an SVU cop…"
"ahh, Special Victims?" the man finished. Olivia nodded.
"It's hard to go home after a day in my line of work and just brush it under the carpet"
"Maybe it's because you've got no one to share it with when you do get home. That's why it builds up, like your anger" The man said. Olivia looked at him, her mouth agape.
"How did you? I never told you…" suddenly alarmed of this man's ability to read minds she was going to make her excuses and leave. But something propelled her to stay put.
"Besides, 9 years is a long time to be a cop, I think I've seen you in the papers a few times..you're quite the hero aren't you?"
"I don't feel like a hero…epecially when El…" she cut herself off at this point feeling the tension rise in her voice when it came to mentioning his voice.
"Somehow, I don't think this is just to do with the strangers you meet everyday. Whose Elliot?" The man asked. Olivia didn't even dare question his motives, this man was prepared to listen and that was good enough for her.
"He's my partner, my partner for 9 years…I'm closer to him than his wife is. He knows me better than anyone else. I'd give my life for him and that infuriates me because I know nothing will ever come of it. It can't and knowing that just makes it harder to seem him everyday"
"He doesn't know your in love with him, does he?" The old man said gently. Olivia looked at her feet, ashamed that she couldn't tell this to the face of the man she loved, yet she could tell an old man whom hadn't even told her his name.
"I'm sorry petal, but the only way you'll feel any better is by facing those demons"
"It will ruin my friendship with him, I can't loose him all together"
"Your life hasn't been easy for you, I'm sure, but how can you know that something good might come from this?" he questioned her.
"He's married with 5 kids. He's only just got back with his wife-I think it's unlikely he'll leave her again"
"It's happened already, it could happen again…don't completely push ideas or dreams to the back of your mind Olivia. If you don't do anything about this you'll self-distruct, I wouldn't like that to happen to a pretty young lady like you" the man figited slightly and looked out onto the river opposite them.
"They do not love that do not show their love, The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love, any of this ringing a bell?" he asked.
"It's Shakespeare" Olivia said remembering it from her old school days.
"I'm not saying you should do everything he says but just think about what you should do. Don't keep running away. Running never helps anyone, it just tires you out, so you stop…and your troubles still catch up with you" he finished.
"What did you say your name was?" Olivia said.
"I didn't, but It's Patrick McKenzie at your service" he smiled putting out his hand for her to shake. She winced at the coldness of his touch.
"Thanks for listening to me waffle on like that, I'm not usually that sort of person"
"Don't you worry, flower, I've got plenty of time on my hands" he said.
"Can I atleast get you a coffee, your hands are like ice" she said but he put up his hands in defense.
"No, thanks" he said. Suddenly her cell phone started ringing. She got up from the bench to answer it. It was Elliot. Remembering what Patrick had told her she answered confidently.
"Benson?"
"Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick" he said in a rather worried tone, a rather different tone to the one he'd last used on her.
"I'm sorry, about before, I was being an arse" he said apologetically. Olivia sighed pleased that he had calmed down but feared for when the next time his anger flared again.
"I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to worry you, I just needed some air, I'll be back soon" she said.
"Ok, I am sorry Liv" he apologised again. She loved it when he called her that. They said their goodbyes and hung up.
"I'm sorry Patrick but that was work, I've got to go, maybe I'll see you around…" she said before turning back to the bench where she had been seated previously. She gasped, Patrick was nowhere to be seen. She went back over to the bench to pick up her coffee cup to place in the garbage can next to the bench when a shiny placard caught her eye. It was nailed to the bench and there was an engraving on it. It read:
In memory of Patrick McKenzie
1914-1989
The man who loved to listen
Loving husband, father and friend