I've always wondered, what is the furthest limit of happiness? Is it the one that leads you to grow in love or is it the one that just makes you smile and laugh to the point you just can't stop. And what if both of them happen because it feels like it's happening.
I've always been able to distinguish the fact between falling in love and growing in love.
Its just a matter of perspective, alot of time people may say or give stories about how they "fell" in love and got their heart broken, to me it seems as if they chose to step in to someone's life and tried their best but it failed so they moved on and even called it a heart break.
Whereas growing in love, as a matter of my perspective seems like the best thing that can happen to one, its where you get to know someone and build up from there, yeah sure get to know eachothers past and present, but make it a slow and steady move where friendship playes a big role. Make history together, spend time and little moments with each other. Be there for each other in times of stress and comfort. Dream and make a future together.
And when you know you have built so much together you move on from there and life takes both of you together along for a long time.
See i may not have much experience with love but its the idea and thought that makes it indispensable for me to look at in a certain way
So here it begins,
She is a blessing...
This is about her.. blessing i call her. We'd think of blessing as a thing that would come upon us once, maybe more. But I'd chose to name her blessing because thats the one thing greater than or equal to love. She creates this home like feeling that gives me the keen sense of calmness and happiness id not expect even from my own "home"
See I've always considered that home is where people are, where your loved ones are.. the home isn't a physical thing it's a sense of comfort and closeness from within us and the people around is that makes us say "ok im home"
08/03/18- today she told me how she's writing a rap for her lover. A lover she can't have... i wonder who it is or why exactly she can't have them. Is it someone from her school, a friend perhaps, but why could she not have them. Could it be that the person is already taken? Or could it be some other reason. Is she in love with any of her mentors? Or anyone older perhaps. I can't just guess who it is, is it me? No why would it be me i've only been talking to her for a little while. Im probably just a friend to her, or am i? Idk
Why would she open up alot with me. I couldn't have been comfortable enough with anyone else as i am with her. Idk i cant even read her stuff i think she took it off bc i was able to read it. Oh i hope she doesn't read this
Am i really that stupid that i don't even know what's going on. Or i couldn't even take a hint that shes giving maybe.
Does she love me? Idk probably not im not good enough and she's just way better so theres no chance. But idk i cant be true on that, maybe she does like me. I think i do, actually i don't think, i KNOW i do because ever since she came along even in the beginning when i first started hanging out with her. She was just there to make me happy and I'd just try to stay away from others just so i could be with her because she was just so different.
Blessing was able to sense my thoughts many a times before i would even speak to her.. she is just so different. Blessing would talk about herself and her life, and then ask about me and my life which is something i find really rare. She is just so different
She would make every pain every struggle an easy task and she would stay with me and motivate me, as the perfect perfect in my eyes she is, everything around her starts to relive again. One might point out something about her and say that she isn't in a way they would want her to be or how she is faulty.. but if they were to look through my eyes.. and if blessing herself were to look at herself through my eyes she would start crying, because she with all her imperfections is absolutely perfect. And there is none like her and i absolutely adore her and i hope will always and forever too. Blessing is the best thing to happen to me, the best connection to ever build up with me. And i hope i never have to say goodbye to this blessing ever..