Konnichiwa! Here's another What if oneshot inspired by one of my many inspirational conversations with shiro-tsubasa-chan!
Question: What if America didn't choose China?
Fandom: Hetalia
Main characters: The Allies
Tanoshimu!
P.S I apologise in advance for all the pokemon references that I make. See if you can spot how many I make! Make sure you tell me which ones that you spot otherwise I won't be able to tell you which one you may have missed!
The three sat around the fire, roasting marshmallows peacefully. Well, I say three but really it was only two sitting down. The third lay sleeping on the sandy floor.
Suddenly the two looked up, sensing that something was wrong. The blond haired man, who was wearing a blue cap, stood up and took off his jacket. The second black haired man stood up in turn.
"It seems zey are here." Muttered the blond haired man.
"Hai, I agree." Said the second man.
Then the third, who had been sleeping on the floor until now, slowly got up onto his knees to say:
"Say whaat?"
Up on the cliff stood five men. Three of which had blond hair though one had brown and the other had white hair. They seemed to be dressed for war because one was wearing a bomber jacket with the number 50 printed on the back and another was dressed in a green military uniform.
"Ze God dammit Allies." Germany growled.
"HAHAHA! Listen to me and my total hero voice guys!" Laughed the obnoxious American.
Then America pointed to the side dramatically.
"China! I choose you!"
Now usually after America's Pokémon reference, China would jump up and start attacking Germany and Japan, eventually knocking the two out and then they would either see a vision of the Roman Empire, Finland driving a flying sleigh or England with Busby's chair looking creepy and evil.
But nothing happened.
America, France, Russia and England turned to China who was standing there with his arms folded and staring off into space.
"Dude, China you listening? I said I choose you!" America yelled.
"I know. But I disagree with being chosen all the time. Make someone else do it." China explained.
"Okay, okay! Hey Axis power dudes! We need to rethink our battle strategy. Stay right there!" America shouted.
Then the Allies ran away, leaving Germany, Italy and Japan standing there absolutely dumbfounded by what they had just witnessed.
"What the-" Italy began.
"I guess ve should do as zey say." Germany muttered.
Germany shrugged his shoulders and sat back down. Italy crawled over and lay down by the fire once more so that he could fall asleep again. Japan took one last look at the cliff before joining them.
"It's not rike we can go anywhere. We are stranded after all." Japan mumbled.
Japan and Germany sat together for a few minutes. Since the Allies had left, they had begun roasting another set of marshmallows. Italy was dreaming of pasta of course.
Then they sensed the Allies presence again and so they each stood up one by one.
"Zey're back again." Germany growled.
"Hai, I agree." Japan said again.
"Say whaat?" Italy asked.
There the five men stood once more on top of the cliffs. They all looked very impressive, but none more so than America who had seemed to have forgotten about China's adamant nature.
"HAHAHA! Listen to me and my total hero voice guys!" America laughed.
Japan, Germany and Italy braced themselves. If what they had gathered was true, America was about to choose a new ally to fight. Japan got out his sword in preparation, Germany took out his gun and Italy readied his white flag.
"France! I choose you!" America beamed.
The Axis powers looked horrified. They turned to France to see what he was about to do. France stood there, the creepy grin on his face getting wider and wider by the second. He jumped off the cliff and approached them slowly, hands outstretched and making suggestive squeezing motions with his fingers.
"Ohonhonhon..." He chuckled.
"Whoa whoa whoa! Cut! France, what the hell man? What the actual hell? I thought you said you'd take care of them?" America yelled.
"I am. Now come 'ere Italy and let me take care of you..." France smirked.
Germany ran up to France immediately and punched him in the face. France fell to the floor, slight traces of blood splattering out.
"I take zat as a no..." France whispered weakly.
"Hahaha! England, pick up France." America commanded.
"What? I don't think so! Leave that frog where he is and let's get out of here!" England snapped.
"Good point, RUN AWAY!" America screeched.
Then the four remaining Allies ran off into the forest, leaving France like England had told them to do. France, who had been lying on the floor, looked up and slowly crawled away in the same direction that the Allies had fled.
"Vhat ze heck vas zat?" Germany asked.
"Seriousry. They need to do better than that." Japan muttered.
The Axis powers found themselves in the same position as they were in before. Roasting marshmallows and in Italy's case sleeping away on the floor since he didn't find it hard getting to sleep.
Then they felt that familiar feeling again, signalling that the Allies were there again. All three looked up and then got up but rather tiredly this time, showing that they were beginning to bore of this.
"HAHAHA! Listen to me and my total hero voice guys!" America laughed.
The Axis powers readied themselves again but they were even more vigilant this time, not wanting to have another France incident. America pointed to the side dramatically and yelled out the name of who he was about to use.
"Russia! I choose you!" America yelled.
The Axis powers looked up at Russia. He was standing there with his eyes closed and wearing that creepy yet cute smile that he always had on his face.
"Da!" He beamed.
Then he jumped off the cliff shouting 'VODKAA' as he went. He walked up to them with his creepy smile and then he stopped when he was a short distance away from them.
"Would you like some Vodka?" He asked as he held up a bottle filled with vodka.
"Errr..."
The Axis powers weren't quite sure what was going on. Was it supposed to be a way to beat them or weaken them?
"Wait what? Russia, cut! That's not a way to weaken them!" America yelled.
"No don't you get it? I will make them drunk and they will become delirious. Then when they are at their weakest we'll get them and eat their-"
"NO DUDE! JUST NO! What is it with you and eating weird stuff?" America yelled.
"I was going to say their country's food." Russia smiled.
"Oh. Well I'm sorry for wrongly accusin' you then bro." America apologised.
"And then after we can grind their faces into dust..." Russia mumbled.
"Okay that's it, RUN AWAY!" America commanded.
And so the Allies escaped using run away while the Axis powers watched them go. Japan and Germany sighed and then sat down again. Italy didn't seem bored though: he just smiled and waved to the Allied forces.
"Oh well, maybe next time guys!" Italy called.
"If zey keep going zis vay zere von't be a next time..." Germany growled.
Once again, the Axis powers sat around the fire. Italy wasn't sleeping this time though because there wasn't much point since the Allies would be back soon.
And that was exactly right for a few moments later Germany and Japan looked up, sensing that the Allies had arrived. They stood up with a sigh, sounding tired. Italy didn't however because he found it fun.
"Hahaha... You know what I'm about to say so I'll skip it." America sighed.
America was obviously getting bored too. So he pointed but not as dramatic as before because his hand looked limp.
"So guys, I've got no other choice so you've guessed it, I'm gonna choose..."
The Axis powers looked up at America as he explained and their eyes drifted to England expectantly. England's face looked smug and lit up so it was obvious what was coming next.
"That's right!" America yelled, suddenly full of life. "I choose...Myself!"
Germany, Japan and Italy stood there shocked. France, Russia and China looked at America with a shocked expression too. America had his hands on his hips and was laughing but England looked outraged.
"What the bloody hell do you mean 'yourself'? You were supposed to choose me!" England yelled.
"Well I thought about it and there was a small change in plans. I figured that your method isn't gonna work so I just changed the whole thing." America explained.
"My plan will work! I can guarantee it!" England growled.
"Okay dude, go ahead an' prove it." America laughed. "England! I choose you!"
England smirked and then jumped down from the cliff. But instead of charging at them or slowly walking towards them, he stayed in the same spot and began to draw a pentagram on the floor.
"Seriousry? This is his big pran?" Japan asked.
"Spooky circles... Usually when I draw circles they're happy!" Italy complained.
"Ja, ve know Italy. Ve've all heard your song." Germany sighed.
"Shut up!" England snapped. "Prepare to feel the full wrath of the United Kingdom of Great Britain! All I need to do is finish this circle and..."
"Okay dude, I'm stoppin' this right now." America sighed.
America had slid down the cliff to join England and had put his hand on England's shoulder, stopping him from drawing the pentagram.
"What? Why not?" England asked.
"The whole magic thing just isn't gonna work. Why don't you cook something and then threaten 'em with that?" America asked.
"You giant wanker! I can't believe you! When I finish this pentagram, I'm laying a curse on you!" England yelled.
"Dude that was harsh!" America gasped.
"Well so was the Revolutionary War you declared against me!" England snapped.
"Dude you still beat up about that? That is so 1783! Let the past go man." America laughed.
"This is rearry getting out of hand..." Japan whispered.
"Ve... What should we do Germany?" Italy asked.
Here I have two endings. I decided to use this ending here but at the bottom I will show the alternate ending. Sorry to interrupt your reading experience. Tanoshimu!
Germany sighed with exasperation. Then he looked to Japan and Italy and smiled.
"Do you guys vant to head to ze ozer side of ze island? It vill be quieter zere." Germany explained.
"Yeah that sounds like fun!" Italy beamed.
"Those Arried forces won't notice I'm sure." Japan smiled.
So the Axis powers got up and left their beach at a leisurely pace. England and America carried on fighting without even realising that the Axis powers had left and France, China and Russia just sat together on the edge of the cliff.
"I knew I should have done as I was told-aru. This was not very good idea." China sighed.
"Well at least you know for next time." France smiled.
"Should we stop them now then?" China asked.
"No let's just sit and watch." Russia smiled.
"Oui, mes amis."
Alternate ending:
Germany smiled to himself, knowing what he could do to stop these stupid Allied Forces. Italy seemed confused and so did Japan but Germany simply stepped forward but looked back at the two calmly to say:
"Just vatch."
Then he turned back to America and England who looked like they were strangling each other or something. Since you guys choose people to fight for you, I figured I'd follow your example.
"Hey you two!" Germany yelled.
America and England stopped fighting to look at their common enemy. Germany just smirked and then, in a similar way to America, he dramatically pointed to the side and yelled out the name of the person he was about to use to "fight" for him.
"Angel! I choose you!"
Then out of the water emerged a cloaked young figure. It was obviously female because of the build that she had and from out of the back of her cloak there was a cat tail that could be seen. Japan expected her to be a kind of weird anthro person but she looked completely normal.
The girl charged at America and England, bits of her long wavy brown hair being seen from underneath her cloak. Then she jumped up and tackled England to the floor, screaming his name as she did so.
Germany, Japan and Italy laughed at the sight. Russia just continued with his smile, though it was a little wider than usual, China and France couldn't help but snigger and America laughed heartily just like he always did.
"R-retreat!" England yelled.
"Dude, no way! This is priceless!" America laughed.
"I said retreat you bloody yank!" England snapped.
The girl looked up. "America...?"
America stopped laughing for he knew what was coming next. She jumped up and glomped him.
"America you're so kawaii!" She screamed.
"Like England said, let's get the hell out of here!" America yelled.
Then the Allies ran off with the girl still hanging around America's neck.
"Wait guys! I still need to pair you together in my USUK slash fanfiction!"
And there you have it. I'm not that mad, I promise you. Anyway R&R, PM me if you have a question and...
Sayonara minna-san!
~Neko