Notes:

Lyrics aren't mine.

I wanna be yours, by Arctic Monkeys, poem written by John Cooper Clark

Thank you Moonie, for the idea

Thank you Obito, for re-reading

Thank you Swirly, for everything.

~~If you like your coffee hot; let me be your coffee pot.~~

It didn't look like her, being so nervous about a simple dinner.

She couldn't count how many times she had to fix her hair again, never being satisfied with how it turned out.

She ended up dropping her hair-grip and letting her dark strands of silk fall on her shoulders. It was impressive, how long her hair was. Hashirama never understood why she insisted on fastening them, even when they weren't on a battlefield. One day, back in the times when they were teens, she told him she wanted to look like a man. She had that severe look and those large shoulders, and if she remembered correctly she was even taller than both her cousins at that time. Senju men who didn't know her often mistook her for a boy. The way she was wearing her heavy weapons, throwing them in the air, beheaded her opponent as if she was picking a flower by its stem; it was all so natural for her. Feeling the hot blood on her skin, the adrenaline pumping through your veins when you put your life on the line to protect the ones you loved; there was nothing that could drive her crazier than that – and that's probably why she was getting along so well with that Uchiha leader Hashirama was so fond of. And as time went by it became her little ritual: every time she made her hair for battle she dropped her femininity and became a warrior.

And as time went by she realized she was only feeling like herself when she was wearing a bun.

(Ironically most of the Senju's warriors, starting with Hashirama, wore their hair long on the battlefield. She never understood exactly why she felt the urge to deny who she was physically in order to feel in peace with herself.)

So it was easy to understand how puzzled Toka was when she looked at the reflection in the mirror in front of her. She was far from being ugly, with a single line of black Kohl and wearing her sole…dress – it was more like a tunic, and she was wearing a pair of linen trousers underneath anyway – staring at the final touch of her disguise. Long, silver, glittering earrings. It was her gift from last year. She'd never had the courage to wear them. But tonight was different.

Tonight she wanted to be pretty.

Tonight she wanted to feel like a woman.

Tonight she wanted to acknowledge who and what she really was and feel at peace with herself.

She was doing it for her.

She had put on her heels and was waiting for the other to arrive. Toka was very aware that all eyes were set on her – it seemed she was the most breathtaking divine creature in the restaurant tonight, not for too long though – but she couldn't care less. What people were thinking about her was none of her business. She had been judged all her lifetime, she wasn't going to let those gossipers ruined their first night together.

(Just as she had thought, the moment Mito entered the small restaurant the whispers stopped. They couldn't help but just stare, astounded by so much beauty.)

Toka remembered the first time Hashirama had introduced them to each other – years, so many years ago. She was going to be his wife, the future mother of his children, and just by knowing that she was finding her pathetic, before she had the opportunity to meet her face to face. She was just a walking uterus and she was happy about that, even proud. It made her feel queasy.

But she was wrong. So wrong. It took her only a second to realize what kind of woman Mito Uzumaki was.

It was in the way she was standing. The way she was walking. The way her eyes would lock with hers and how firm her gaze would be. Everybody had been holding their breath as soon as she had appeared. She was glowing, not like a candle but just like the sun, glowing with respect and independence and strength – Toka learned after that day that Mito was a great summoner, and had mastered sealing techniques like no other – and at the same time she was so delicate. Her nails were made. Her hair was perfectly fixed. Her dress was gorgeous. Her make-up was subtle and yet, at the same time underlining her natural beauty.

Instantly, people were acknowledging her for the person she was. They did not see her as a woman, or as Hashirama's wife, or as Konoha first lady, but as a whole person in her own right.

Toka had never felt so jealous in her entire life.

Why ? Why was this happening?

This woman…she had succeeded where Toka had failed. And she couldn't stand the idea.

How could she wander safely in this sea of sharks, just being herself? Where was her armour? Where was her façade? Why wasn't she wearing any? She was totally bare, and she even could have been nude that wouldn't have made any difference. All around her there were only men, with their blood-red armours looking like perfect idiots and then, there was Toka.

Toka didn't really know what she was any more.

They all seemed so deceitful and insipid next to this creature. And in a matter of seconds, she had become the pathetic one.

It's funny, really, how every single armour, as good and tough as it might be, could be dismantled by a slight flick when it was being used by the right person.

"Toka, I think you are mistaken." Mito had said, one day – actually it was a year ago, exactly, just before she had given her the earrings. "I don't think they are the ones who aren't acknowledging you for who you are. I think it's you. It has always been you. When I look at you I can only see a beautiful and strong woman. But, you only seemed to see the weakness in being a woman and thus, you have spent your life trying to hide it. But, you're born the way you're born; there are things that can't be fixed. Why are you running away from it? What are you so ashamed of?"

The next thing she remembered was her lips crashing against Mito's and then, she had run away.

It had been a long run, but eventually she managed to reach home.

The week before, she had knocked at Hashirama's door. He wasn't there – Mito said he was busy, pathetically trying to hide his affair with Madara by summoning work work and work again but she wasn't falling for it any more – but she didn't care. She wasn't here to see her cousin. It was for her. It has always been for her. She had fallen in love with Mito the moment she had set her gaze upon her and it took her more than ten years to realize.

And for the first time in her entire life she felt at peace with herself.

Sure, it was going to be hard: she couldn't change her way of living in a single week, but she knew time would be on her side. From now on, she was Toka Senju, and she was in love with the most beautiful woman in this town, and she was on a date with her.

When Mito caught sight of her, she smiled – God that smile could killed anyone in the moment – and joined her, leaving a small kiss on her lips.

"Happy Birthday, darling."

She handed her a present. It was a Thermos bottle.

"I know it looks ridiculous. But I thought 'hey, she has been complaining all week about how her chess plays were long and never ending, and that at the end of the day her tea was always so cold she couldn't drink it any more'. So…Tada! Now you can play with Madara all day long with a hot tea on your side. No doubt you're going to kick his Uchiha gorgeous ass."

It wasn't ridiculous. Well, maybe the design was but, not for Toka.

It was all she had ever wanted. It was perfect. Mito was perfection and there were no other words that could describe her better at the moment.

It was a hidden promise.

I'll make sure to keep you warm, no matter how long our journey takes, no matter with who you choose to spend your free time, no matter how hard it's going to be, no matter where you want to take me. At the end of the day I'll always make sure to keep you warm under my hands.

Toka wanted to cry. But, she had her own pride. So she just said,

"Thank you."

But Mito understood.

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

I wanna be yours.

A ma p'tite femme,

Bon Anniversaire

Queenie.