Sitting.
The seconds ticked by like full minutes as Rin and Daikichi stared at each other from across the bedroll. Rin's eyes were blank and wide, as they had always been when she was a child. Daikichi inwardly groaned.
Scratch that! he thought. Don't think about that!
Rin was a grown woman now. They had been planning this for a while. He knew it was coming, but the butterflies in his stomach were threatening to bang down the doors. It was the biggest night of his life; he and his new wife were going to consummate.
Rin would murder him if he chickened out on her twice. The young woman had gone out and bought lingerie that would make a father go mad. For a second, Daikichi had even seen past the rosy cheeks and brown blank eyes at the woman who fit her undergarments quite well. But that was only a second. Now he sat up at full attention, with the important bits, not at attention.
Rin cocked her head to the side. No doubt she was wondering what about the garments, the odd incense burning in the kitchen, and the fancy oyster dinner they had eaten in preparation for this night had not worked. The forty year-old couldn't take it anymore, her confused stare was just too much for him right now.
Rin shifted, adjusting one the straps of her pink teddy. Daikichi's eyes wandered down her body. Rin's skin was perfect, pale, and smooth. The young woman's body was one that most men his age would kill to touch, but to this man it was one forbidden fruit that was just too much to bear.
"Daikichi?" the woman murmured.
The man bolted upright, making as intense eye contact as possible. From the blush on her face, he could guess that Rin had probably caught him. His face felt like a furnace, but he did not waiver.
"Yes, what is it Rin," he asked, in a painfully rigid voice.
He was sure that he looked horrendously uncomfortable. Hell, the situation was horrendously uncomfortable. He had treated Rin as his own child for how long?
Perhaps she wouldn't want to go through with it anymore. She wasn't making eye contact with him anymore. Maybe she was sick of having an old man looking her over. She had realized that this marriage was not the best idea after all. She would ask for an annulment. She would leave. But Daikichi was not sure if he'd like that.
He had lived in an empty house before. It was cold. It was dark. There was a silence there that could only be filled by his breath and the singeing of tobacco and paper with each drag of his cigarette. It was much like the silence he was consumed by now, except for one distance: her breath.
Daikichi closed his eyes. Her exhales fluttered through the room like small butterflies, intertwining his own clunky ones. They were like a miniature concerto, completely in sync; they had been ever since Daikichi could remember.
A warmness crept into the deep crevices of the man's cold chest. The more he thought about their relationship over the years, the more it felt like fate, and Daikichi had never been one to believe in fate. Rin's mother had mentioned it though. So had Kouki's mother. But was it possible?
He opened his eyes to see Rin inches away from his face, her eyes studying him seriously. Her lips were flushed like her cheeks. He blinked and fell back, heart leaping into his chest.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack," he snapped at her. His face was burning again.
The woman did not seem to be very phased by his reaction. She just pouted, clear, flat disappointment plastered all over her face.
"You're thinking about backing out again," she stated.
"I was not!" he yelled. "I just need time to focus." She nailed it.
He sighed and sat back up, crossing his arms and closing his eyes pensively. He let out a lengthy grunt, trying to ignore the woman who was once again extremely close to him. He had to think fast. If he did anything to Rin he wasn't sure that he would be able to live with himself, but if he broke her heart again he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He let out a deep breath.
"What if we just slept together tonight," he said. He now felt calm enough to look her in the eyes again. Sleeping wasn't harmful; when she was younger they had shared a bed space all the time. The only difference was that it was just one bed roll… and she was half naked… and had been expecting something else for most of the night.
Rin blinked at him for a second before plopping underneath the comforter without any complaint. With her head poking out from underneath the heavy blanket, she looked even more like a child. Her eyes were bright and expecting as Daikichi turned off the light and went to join her. When he got into the bed the story was totally different. Her body was suddenly at a close proximity to his, and, for the first time in a long time, that was uncomfortable.
Perhaps this was something that he could get used to all over again, like when Rin first came to stay with him. The last time he had been with a woman like this, his wife had not even been born. Being uncomfortable was to be expected.
Her hand found his, underneath the covers. Its warm, soft, delicate touch permeated through his fingertips. He looked at her. Her face was pressed against the pillow, smiling. He could get used to this. If he tried hard enough to focus on moments like this, he could probably work up the courage the please her eventually. All she wanted was for him to give her a child, right? Though, every instinct he had about her told him that that was a lie. She wanted much more than that; she deserved much more than that.
Perhaps it was in these moments of sleepless smoke that men begin to wonder. She was too close for him not to notice how warm her body was making the sheets, and although she seemed serene there was a chance that she was not actually comfortable in those exposing garments. Perhaps he should just touch the ruffles for a second to make sure it was as soft as it had looked.
He shook his head. If he let go of her hand to do anything, Rin would surely notice. However, her breathing was beginning to slow, and the corners of her mouth were starting to droop. She was falling asleep.
He found himself reaching his hand up to her cheek before he could even think about it. Her gently stroked his fingers across her soft rosy skin. It brushed her thick eyelashes, which tickled his skin like a butterfly's tongue. Then it brushed her lips which the man found to be surprisingly feverish. He quickly placed his palm against the sleeping woman's forehead, but the residual heat from her hand made it too difficult to get a clear reading. The man gulped. He had only one other option.
Slowly, and with great care, Daikichi slid himself closer until his forehead met Rin's. He let out a sigh of relief: no fever.
Rin's eyes flew open; so did Daikichi's.
Sitting.
That's all Daikichi could do. He couldn't pull back; Rin had already spotted him. He could feel her face heating up. He rested his now misplaced hand on her bare shoulder, shuddering at his enjoyment when he felt how soft it was. Then he felt Rin's hands running up his shirt to rest on his chest between them. Her eyes were once again eluding his own.
He closed his eyes. He could feel her waiting for him through the shaking grasp of her fingertips, but he wasn't sure if he could answer. Though his heart raced and something burned deep within him to touch that distant forbidden fruit, would it be alright to accept her? A small part of him still questioned whether or not confining Rin to a life by his side was truly in her best interest, whether she desired it or not. Would this fairy still lose her wings if the cage was of her own choosing?
"Daikichi," he heard her whisper. "I love you."
His eyes flew open to see Rin staring at him with her usual stare. What had he been worried about? She wasn't just a child anymore. Hell, even when she was a child there were times when she was more mature than he was. She had been the one who had realized it would be too weird to date. She was the one who always had to tell him to put down the video games and watch his health. And she had been the one to care for him whenever he was sick. She cooked, she cleaned, and she even mended his shirts.
She had been right the first time, he just didn't want to believe it: she had been acting like his wife for years already, and he even after marriage could not bring himself the act like her husband.
With a solemn resolve, Daikichi slid his hand up from her shoulder to her face, bringing the bridges of their noses together. The warmth of her body drew even closer to his, flooding feelings through the doors newly opened to desire.
"Rin," He said. His heart was pounding rapidly, as her eyes fixed their shocked, nervous gaze on his. He cleared his throat, like he usually did to attain her full attention and respect. "If you are certain that this is what you want, I will give it to you."
Sweat pooled on the back of his neck, as the silence passed between them. Then finally with a nervous grin, Rin attempted a nod, knocking her head awkwardly against Daikichi's. Another round of silence passed between them as Daikichi's head throbbed.
"Sorry," Rin muttered, doing a bad job at suppressing a smirk.
Daikichi shook it off, and took a deep breath. "Are you ready?"
The young woman didn't nod this time. She simply closed her eyes and smiled.
"Yes."
And with that he kissed her.
Her lips were warm and soft, unlike anything Daikichi had ever imagined. He could actually feel her smile through his lips, sending bolts of electric pleasure through his brain. He never thought he would be able to accept it, but there he was, fully focused. She was a woman. She was a woman. She was a woman!
Then as a man would with a woman, they consummated their marriage, and he enjoyed it. He took great care with her, and he could tell that she had reveled in every moment with him. Cradling Rin is his arms afterwards, all Daikichi had left to do was wait for sweet dreams which would never encompass reality.
Sitting.