Harry Potter the Master of Explosives

a/n: I know I have an actual story going on right now, but I just had to do this. And I've actually blown up an egg with a cherry bomb. It didn't work too well... I just got burned egg.

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When Harry Potter was eight years old, he was allowed to wander the streets alone. Naturally, the first thing he came across was trouble.

There were three boys using C4 to blow up an egg.

It looked like a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, some cops came along. Using some quick thinking, Harry managed to get the boys out of trouble. It turned out that the boys were the sons of some rich gangsters, and in return for getting them out of trouble, they gave Harry a lifetime's supply of explosives. C4, dynamite, TNT and cherry bombs.

It was the best gift he had ever gotten.

Harry quickly became very adept at blowing things up, becoming basically untraceable. When he got his letter three years later, he read it then blew it up. To keep in practice.

Hogwarts wouldn't know what hit it.

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The train ride was uneventful, but the sorting... The sorting was something to remember forever.

Harry had sneaked (a/n: Apparently 'snuck' is wrong...) off when waiting for McGonagoll to take them into the Great Hall and had rigged the doors with C4.

Right before the first years had entered, Harry triggered the remote and blew them up. Instantly, people started screaming.

The teachers managed to restore order, and the sorting continued.

When Harry's name was called, he sat on the stool and the hat instantly cried, "You blew up the doors?"

There were some muffled protests from Harry and all the teachers instantly scowled. They could tell it wouldn't be a good year.

After a few more minutes, Harry was sorted into Gryffindor. He took the hat off sheepishly and ran down to the Gryffindor table to hide behind some third years, who happened to be the Weasley twins. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

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Harry, Ron and Hermione whistled to gt past Fluffy, and when the landed on the Devil's Snare Harry blew it up.

To get past the keys, Harry blew up the door.

Guess how they got past the chess set... Yup, Harry blew it up.

The troll was bypassed, and Harry was disappointed that he couldn't blow up Snape's logic puzzle. Still, Hermione managed to solve it in a few minutes and Harry went forward alone. Well, except for his explosives.

Harry confronted Quirrell, and blew up the mirror without even touching it. It was a talent of his.

Harry then started to make random explosions, scaring the bijeezes out of Quirrell.

Harry turned his face into dust by touching him, and fainted.

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The end of his second year was interesting to say the least.

Harry blew up the basilisk with a whole crate of TNT.

When questioned later, he said it was the most fun he had ever had.

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At the end of his third year, Harry made just a little explosion to scare Black, but then he learned that Black as good and tried to blow up Peter. Too bad Hermione stopped him.

Harry did get to blow up the dementors, however, so the evening had not been a total waste.

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To try and get out of the tournament, Harry had threatened to blow everything up. However, they didn't let him off the hook and he had to compete anyway.

For the first task, he blew it up. He had summoned a good amount of C4 and placed it around the stadium, everywhere except the eggs. Then he detonated it.

The resulting explosion had Harry kicked out of the task.

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At the end of Harry's fifth year, Harry contacted Sirius via the mirrors and found him safe, so Harry decided to blow up the ministry of magic.

Unfortunately, he was talked out of it.

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At the end of Harry's sixth year, Harry laced the cave with the Horcrux in it with enough C4 to blow up a cave, and blew it up.

The Horcrux was definitely destroyed.

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At the end of Harry's seventh year, Harry decided to go for a big finish and blew up Voldemort.

Everyone agreed it was the best explosion Harry had ever caused.

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After Hogwarts, Harry worked for the ministry blowing stuff up.

Harry lived explosively ever after.

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a/n: That's it! I hope you all liked it. Tell me what you think!