Attack of the Killer Teachers!
….At Hogwarts
Based on real
life situations, not suitable for children under the age of 5. Please do not be
scared.
A Documentary on Harots Week at Hogwarts-
Live at Ten.
Reporter- Hello and welcome Muggles to the first real
look into wizard life. Only this is no playground. This is pure horror. I'm
Carl Windershlaugh. Have you ever had
some SCARY teachers? Well, you've never been to Hogwarts during Harots Week. I bet you don't even know what Harots Week
is! Poor muggles, well, actually lucky
because you don't have to see the horrific changes of these teachers go
through. Stevenson Latrinsa Onas
founded Harots Week in 1897. He was
being taught in Hogwarts at the time and often got into trouble. Salamedius Snape, Snape's great-grandfather
was a teacher here and always yelled at Stevenson. Well, one day Stevenson got mad, real mad and set a Harots Curse
on all the teachers at Hogwarts. Since
he cast the spell inside the headmaster's room, so the curse has stuck and will
stick forever.It starts out while they are usually teaching a class. Snape has always had the worst time with the
changings because he was related to Salamedius. All teachers go through different types of changes, some to
romantic womanizers to crazy protesters. It's all parts of the horror of the changing!"
Lets go talk to some of the students here at
Hogwarts with our on the site reporter.
On scene reporter- (stops a kid
in hallway) Hello, you're live with the documentary of Harots week. Can you please state your name and what you
have witnessed here in the years you have been to Hogwarts?
Kid- Wow! I'm on TV??? Well, hi, my name
is ::cough:: Harry Potter and I have been attending Hogwarts for 4 years. Boy, I've witnessed the weirdest things during
Harots week such as Professor Snape wearing a feather boa and singing "It's
Raining Men" and such, it was a scary sight to see!
On site reporter- As
you can see here Carl, the horrors these young, innocent minds have seen are
atrocious! We must investigate further.
Carl-
Let us go in now for a closer look on these teachers. ::Creeps towards door:: We are now in front of Professor McGonagall's
room. We disguised ourselves using
Polyjuice Potion and are slipping into some empty seats. ::hides camera in book:: We are about to
witness the changes.
McGonagall- ::shrinks down:: ::whispers:: Hello class, today we..we..we..we'll learn about…umm..oh
class, I just want to hide behind my dest and read, please don't be mad ::cries
and runs off::.
Carl- The curse
is taking in affect. We must be
going. ::Creeps across hallway:: This is Professor Trelawney's room. Come on, don't be scared.
Trelawney- WEELLLCCOOMMEE everyone. I hope you like CATS because that's all
we're doing today! We will learn about
CATS and how good CATS are!! No lesson,
just CATS, bwahahahaha!
Random Kid- What, no lesson?
Trelawney- NO! JUST CATS!!! ::Pulls out a big box:: Everyone take a CAT!!!!! NOW!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ::Steam comes
out of her ears::
Random Kid- She's gonna blow!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!
Carl- Well, we
better leave before this gets messy. Our final stop leads us into the Potion Classroom where we will witness
Snape snap.
Snape- (With lisp) Hello, thudentsth Welcome to my ::giggles:: clasth. Hee hee hee,
yeth I am sthrait. Ok, now, Gryffendor,
50 poinths from you becauthe you are annoying me, and Hermione knowsth too
much. Oh, I'm too sthexy for my sthirt.
::pulls out a feather boa:: I'm stho
exthided and I justht can't hide it! I know I know I know I want you ::points
to Draco;: ::Draco screams and runs out
of the room:: Don't worry about him
clasth, he justht needsth time to breathe.
Carl- Okay…I
think that was all we needed to see… This Hogwarts curse hopefully, will
sthoon, I mean soon run its course. Join me next time in "Real Mythical Creatures Attack, Part II". I'. Carl Windershlaugh and good night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Disclaimer~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't own any Harry Potter J.K. Rowling
does, and the story is just a figment of my imagination and a spoof off of my
own teachers.
*JR/R J*