I decided MSB needed even MORE nonsensical pairings. I give you:

DA/R

----

Drinking alone was boring, Ralphie Tenelli had found.

With a beer can in one hand, a remote in the other, and a rousing game of dodgeball on the television, he couldn't help but feel like an alcoholic.

Leaning over the large arm rest on his well worn, patched couch, the twenty-two year old set the beer on the end table and swiped the phone off the charger.

Flipping over the phone, the metallic worn in some places, he went over his mental phone book. Old girlfriends past, no. New friends from college, no. How about old friends?

He had last seen Tim when he went off to college in New York.

Keesha was more recent, but she was in California, chasing the dream of becoming an actress.

He had seen her in a shampoo commercial. He was pretty damn proud.

Thinking... thinking...

Wanda was in London. Why, he wasn't sure.

Phoebe was always working. As an intern to a vet, she was all work.

Arnold was the same way, as a full time geologist. Besides, he thought, he was currently in Hawaii.

Carlos! Wait, no. He was mountain biking in Colorado.

Speaking of Carlos, what about the blonde who was always following him, bickering with him?

Dorothy Ann was still in town. He dialed her home phone number.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the line answered.

"Dorothy Ann?" He had asked hopefully.

"No, this is Emily. May I ask who's calling?"

"Emily? You sound so much older!" He said, astonished. "This is Ralphie. Is your sister there?"

"Oh, thanks! Everyone says that. And no, D.A. moved out. Do you want her number?"

"If it's no problem."

"Not at all!" She said, giving him the number. A voice sounding suspiciously like Carlos' own interjected in the background. 'Em, if you want to get that project done, we should probably get back to work.'

"Ah, sorry for holding you up," Ralphie commented sheepishly.

"Oh, er, no problem. It was nice talking to you." As she started to put the phone back on the reciever, he could hear her admonishing her companion. 'Well, excuuuuse me, Mikey, if I was taking five minutes to tal--'

The phone clicked, and he switched off his own.

He grinned. That was a cute pair. Even he could admit it.

Glancing at the piece of paper he had scribbled out the digits on, he dialed the number.

Ringing... ringing... ringing.

"Hello?" A female voice answered. "Parker Residence."

"DA?" He asked, a smile in his voice.

"...Ralphie?" She questioned back, hesitantly.

"Yeah! I got your number from Emily, if that isn't too weird."

She relaxed. "No, hey! Long time no see."

"Or talk for that matter. You still live in town, right? I didn't have to punch in an area code."

"Yeah, still in town." She nodded, even though he couldn't see it.

"Great! Y'busy, because I think we should catch up."

"Oh, no. I'm free. You wanna meet somewhere?"

"Yeah. Any place in particular?" He asked. His preference would be a bar, but he guessed hers... wouldn't.

"Do you know the Barnes and Nobles by the mall? I need to pick up a few books for classes." He had forgotten that she had prolonged her college experience to train in pediatrics.

Ralphie was content with his job as a... fuck. What did he do? Office Bitch wasn't a real title.

"Okay. I'll see you in about twenty minutes, then?"

"Better make it thirty. Traffic is horrible. See you then." Click.

Throwing on a sweatshirt and a scarf, he trudged outside and got into his car, a 1998 Mazda Protege he had had gotten for his seventeenth birthday.

He flexed his fingers around the steering wheel and backed out. Nearly 30 minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot. He fingered the frayed edge of his cap.

Striding up to the large wooden and glass doors, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Turning around, he felt his face crack into a wide grin. "Hey!" He said, enveloping the petite girl in a bear hug, lifting her up for a few seconds.

She muttered a muffled plea to put her down into his chest.

He obliged, and then he held the door open for her. Like a gentleman should.

After she sifted through the large medical books and found the three she needed, they settled at a table in the adjoining cafe, a Starbucks that tried too hard to look like a chic Parsian-indoors cafe.

"So. I hear Carlos is in Colorado." He started off. "How is that working out?"

She stirred the tea she had ordered. "We broke up before he left. Things were getting rocky." She paused, "No pun intended."

They shared a small, awkward chuckle. She continued. "What happened with that girl? Uhm... Alicia."

"Oh. She cheated on me." He shrugged. "Everyday for a few weeks. We broke up."

"Ah." There wasn't much else to say.

And after a few coffees, a lot of talking, her phone rang, a friend reminding her she had class in an hour.

They bid each other farewell and made plans for the next weekend.

Because, as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

----

So it wasn't exactly DA/R.

But it was kinda close.