A/N: So here's a brother fic between Roxas and Cloud (centered around Roxas). I've always liked them as siblings, mind you, I also like when Roxas is portrayed as Cloud's adoptive son or son, but I have an affinity for them as brothers. Anyways, I was listening to one of my favorite songs and this came to mind. The song is called 'Hey Brother', by Avicii. I changed certain parts of the song to better fit the narrative for this fic, I hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know your thoughts for this fic! Thank You!
Disclaimer: I don't own neither the characters, nor the song. No profit is made.
Hey, brother
There's an endless road to re-discover
hey, brother
know the water's sweet but blood is thicker
oh, if the sky comes falling down
for you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
The war has been going on for I don't know how many years now. To me, it seems as if it has been going on throughout the twenty years of my life. That is why, the few carefree moments I remember I have had, I cherish them like my life depended on it. And to me, my life does depend on them…or at least my sanity does. But even now, as I run tired and battered through the endless ravines, and the ruins of what was once the splendid city of Radiant Gardens; Through flashing bombs, and magic spells, through the dead bodies of soldiers…and cutting down whoever gets in my way…I hold on to the thread of hope that has kept me going since the very start…to find my older brother, Cloud.
My brother…whom was taken from me. My brother, whom I haven't seen in five years…He had just turned eighteen and I was about to turn fifthteen when we got separated. We lived in the quiet and forgotten little hamlet of Twilight Town, and like many others, we had been orphaned by the war. A wise old man by the name of Ansem, or as some people called him; Diz, used his luxurious mansion as a foster home. For a time, we lived under something we could consider a life of 'normality', Twilight Town wasn't a big place so it went by overlooked most of the time…But of course, as the war grew, so did the need of more soldiers…the inevitable was fast approaching. At first, it was voluntary …it didn't take them long however, before they grew desperate and they started to forcefully strip people from their homes and families…men and women alike.
'I will become a soldier. I will become strong, that way I can try to stop this war…' those were the words my brother Cloud would tell me, whenever I told him that I was afraid I would be taken away someday
'If I help end this war, you won't have to be afraid…I will protect you.' I remember the resolve in his eyes…
'Do you really have to go, Cloud?' the dread and foreboding had tightened my chest…I didn't want him to go, but I couldn't bring myself to stop him either…
'I'll be back before you know it Roxas….I promise' he had promised the night before he was taken, a hopeful and childish promise made under a starry sky. A promise I hang on to even now.
When the next day came…and he was about to get on that truck…he had barely been able to say goodbye. A gentle, affectionate ruffle to my hair and a kind smile that was meant to remind us of our promise…I saw him turn and walk away…I had wanted to beg him not to go…hug him…but I didn't. I feared that if I did, I would never see him again…I thought that if I saved that affection, he would have a reason to come home…A ludicrous idea indeed, and one that I regret every day since then. For some time he wrote me letters about the friends he met, the things he had done, how he would come back victorious…that I should not lose faith, and then he would end his letter with the words from that song he used to sing again:
Hey Brother
Do you still believe in one another? Do you still believe in love I wonder?
Know that, even if the sky comes falling down, for you, there's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do.
Words that would forever repeat themselves in my head over and over. Words that would keep my faith from falling apart. But days turned into weeks, weeks dissolved into months and months faded into years…and so had my hope with them; his letters became less frequent, until they stopped…Cloud disappeared from existence… supposedly, he went missing during a mission...they had not found a single trace….or so they had told me.
'Cloud? Gone? bullshit' I said, a part of me was in denial, Cloud HAD to be out there somewhere.
'Cloud is strong, and he has never broken a promise to you Roxas…he can't be gone.' my inner voice would keep telling me, yet my heart felt heavy, the uneasiness and foreboding were my best friends…anger and fear were my masters…
When I was seventeen, Twilight Town had been viciously attacked in a crossfire…I too, was taken away to become a soldier myself, albeit, against my will…I still have the vivid image of how the inferno claimed the place I called home. I never saw the people I called family ever again…
The war was as bad as ever or worse; nothing had changed. I was left with no option, and the ruins of a home. All I have left is the oath I made to myself to find Cloud...or at least, at this point, know what happened to him...
My only relief was when I saw one of my friends from the orphanage; Xion, she had also been dragged into this hellish of a mess. At least, we found company and solace in each other during the gruesome, rigorous training we were put through.
Xion and I had been assigned to a special ops unit known as Unit 13. They injected us with enhancing substances to sharpen our performance and grant us the ability to use magic. During our time there, we were taken under the wing of one the Unit's best members; Axel. The three of us became really good friends and Xion and I quickly became two of the best in the whole Unit.
And even for the briefest of times…whenever I was with Xion and Axel, I felt that I belonged to a family again. Axel always insisted that he couldn't wait to meet Cloud…he always used to tell me not to give up…I would find Cloud…someday…
But I had forgotten….this was war…there was no room for happiness…no chance for hope…It had been an ambush. Axel, Xion and I had been assigned to a reconnaissance mission….Xion and I barely escaped with our lives….Axel…he used himself as decoy, to ensure me and Xion's escape….His final wish: Xion and I would look after each other…to make it out alive, so that way he could live on in our memories…I found it sickly ironic how the most ludicrous of ideas were born out of the shadows of war.
Yet, Xion always made sure that I would not dismiss such a simple wish. I didn't. Sometime after that, during a battle for territory…As if I was being punished for daring to be strong and move forward, I was once again grimly reminded that this was war…There was no soil to cultivate dreams nor place to fulfil humble wishes….
'Xion! gods no…please hang in there…' I had begged her. There was so much blood…the enemy had summoned particularly strong monsters. She had received a fatal blow to her abdomen.
'Roxas….' she had said weakly, slowly placing a hand over mine that were futilely trying to heal her with a Cure spell…but I didn't want to listen…I knew what she was going to say…
'D-don't t-talk…you'll pull through…' A lie…the tears that had formed in my eyes told me so…
'N-no…Roxas…you…you're gotta…gotta…live…' She coughed, her voice was low and weak. And still I shook my head in denial violently.
'NO! NOT AGAIN! I can't keep losing people I care about! I can't…Xion…I' My tears fell
'DAMN THE GODS! WHY ISN'T THIS WORTHLESS, SHITTY SPELL WORKING!' I screamed to the heavens, even if I knew that it wasn't the spell…I was weak…I didn't have the energy left to properly cast it. Still I tried…and tried…until my body drained every last bit of its magical energy and I could no longer use the spell. I cried and screamed, cursing my incompetence.
'Roxas…please…live on…you still have a promise to keep…you still have to find Cloud…'
'What about my promise to you….and Axel?!' I sobbed in anger. All Xion did was smile her sweetest of smiles, she affectionately reached up and caressed my cheek as tears rode down her face…
'Live on for us Ro-Roxas…he-help end this suffering….find your brother…te-elI him…I-I said hi…'ll say hi to Axel for you…' She smiled again. She asked me to embrace her…and so I did…another important person in my life…gone…
I keep running through this battlefield…bathed in blood…whether it's mine or that of my enemies, I cannot say; I lean against a wall and grip my bleeding ribs, my head is spinning, pounding with pain and blood rushing down the left side of my face. Two years I have been in this hell, or has it been three? I can't even tell. I've seen countless friends and comrades die. I've taken the life of someone's brother…sister…mother…father…friend…Is this heroism? Is this what you wanted brother?
Every soldier here has a reason to fight…regardless of which side they are on…regardless if their intention is 'good' or 'bad'. I feel like if I should have a reason to fight, but my mind tells me I have none. My home has been destroyed…my family and friends are gone…so what I am fighting for, exactly? In the name of faceless people and unfamiliar names?
All those stories of heroic and brave soldiers and their extraordinary achievements…how they saved the day, or died saving the lives of others...I respect them, I really do, but…this was never for me…not when it has taken away so much from me and changed me.
I'm just so tired…my lungs are burning…all I breathe is smoke and soot. My throat is scratchy and aching…my mouth is so dry it can barely produce saliva…I can feel my body is little by little failing me…maybe I should just give up. Sitting on the rocky floor, I look up at the dark sky above me, it's tainted not with the black of night, it's tainted with the hues of a gray scale and slate of rain clouds and smoke. In the distance, I can still hear the muffled sounds of artillery, bombs, magic spells and the occasional clash of a sword. I tighten my grip around Oblivion, one of my trusted weapons, though I really don't know why I do so; both my mind and heart feel blank, whatever little thoughts I have feel like if they were being spoken by someone else in my head.
I sense something coming…my perception of time seems to slow down as I turn my head, and see the approaching Firaga spell…my instincts try to jerk by body into action, but it fails to respond; it would be so much easier if I just let go….For all I know Cloud is dead…maybe he's waiting for me…along with Axel…and Xion…
The night had been cold and breezy, the dark sky above us was masterfully adorned with the thousands of glistening little specs of light. We laid down on the top of the clock tower, our favorite spot, you shared many stories with me that night...we joked, and we took jibes at each other. All to just try and ignore the fact that it could be the last time we would share such simple times with one another.
'Hey, brother?' I had asked you in uncertainty
'Yes, Roxas?'
'…..will…you tell me another story?' I was afraid that I wouldn't hear them ever again.
'Why don't you tell ME a story for a change?' I remember you smiled in a teasing manner
'I don't have good stories to tell…'
'Hm, well, I guess you'll have time to come up with some, for when I come back'
'….Do you really have to go Cloud?'
'I'll be back before you know it Roxas….I promise' You have broken your promise…..
'What if you don't'?! Why promise something you're not sure of!' A moment of silence. Anger, fear…I know you saw them in my eyes, and I could see the uncertainty in yours…yet…
'Then, you'll show me the way back…' you simply said gazing up to the stars
'Ho-how?' your words confused me, yet a part of me held those words to heart.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. After a small moment of silence:
'…..if I'm far from home…oh, brother I will hear you call. Even if I lose it all…'
You had sung, then looked at me as if expecting something from me. I was confused, but then you smiled at me again…It was when I realized…that song…I knew the words…they were a message you didn't want me to ever forget…words that I would carry me through my trials. I had been a bit annoyed on how you derailed the conversation and in any other circumstance I would have protested…but it was the last night we would spend under the same stars and I did not want to spend it fighting
'oh brother I will help you out…' I sang, to humor you, despite myself. You ruffled my hair with a smirk.
'if the sky comes falling down, for you…there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do…' we had sung…
I feel myself laying down… I open my eyes, I see nothing but a blurry haze…at first there is silence and then all I hear is a deafening ring in my ears. I have to give myself a few moments before everything nearby, finally stops spinning…the Firaga spell, it had hit close by and missed me by a few inches... From what I can see, the force of the impact has sent me flying quite a bit away from where I had been moments ago…I think I just remembered something...Ah, yes; I too, had made a promise…though I never said it aloud…The day you stepped into that truck, I bowed I would bring you home…one way or another.
I slowly flop to my stomach and try to cough out the dryness and taste of soot in my throat. I look in front of me and I see Oblivion laying a few inches away, the urge to grasp it, suddenly becomes bigger than ever. Firmly, I press both of my palms against the ground using them as leverage to stand up, my arms felt stiff as they trembled violently under the strain. I'm only able to raise my upper body, I can't get my legs to respond properly, I can barely feel my left leg and can't even feel my right. My arms give in under the weight and my upper body falls against the ground. Fierce determination is what makes my chest burn and swell and I try again, though my legs still refuse to respond.
My arms are threatening to buck again, but something is daring, driving me not to give in…I let out a guttural growl that turns into a cry brewing with new found resolve. If I can't walk there…I'll drag myself then…Cloud…I can't give up…You went to war to protect me…to protect us…our homes are no longer there…most of our friends are most likely dead…yet I…I…giving up so easily is a poor way to repay you…repay Axel…repay Xion…I…need to show you the way back…don't I?
I grab Oblivion and stab it onto the ground, with effort, I drag myself upward alongside it. I am so exhausted and my body is protesting in pain, I am panting for the breath my lungs can't seem to get enough of, I can feel the drops of sweat racing down my face dragging grime and blood with it. Yet, I can't bring myself to let the thought of giving up, cross my mind again…the last fighting breaths of a dying man I suppose? The proverbial "I'm not going down without a fight", and I can't help the humorous scoff that escapes at the irony; that, or my Strife genes of being stubborn are kicking in. I smirk remembering our sibling disputes…
Where exactly I'm dragging this limping battered body, I no longer know. It's almost as if it's walking on its own. Blood loss is eating away what I have left, but I keep on…using my weapon as support…I search for something…what is it?...I feel something calling me…my heart…it's swelling with anticipation.
My heart is telling me to hang on…my body can take no more, and I slump to the ground…sitting down against the remains of a brick wall…I wait…Is all I can do at this point..but for what do I wait?. For a moment I could have sworn I heard something…No, I can hear it…sounds like a whisper…
"Roxas…" it calls.
I look around for a moment I thought I saw something familiar…Cloud?. I must be imagining things… my brother isn't here…no matter how much I wish he were…yet there is a strange feeling in my chest…I can't shake it off…It's not fear…what is it?
"Roxas…" there it is again, that whisper that seems to draw closer.
The calling becomes more persistent as the unfamiliar but…comforting feeling continues to latch on to me, so I look around again and through the smoke I can swear I just saw him again... but…it can't be…I know it isn't him…I can't trust my mind in this state…
'Hey brother…you once asked me if I believed in you…If I still believed in love. I wonder that myself, to be honest.'
I see a strange figure approaching…a person?
'Hey brother, you told me that, even when we were far from home, we could still hear each other's call. Will I see you again? Will I see you in the afterlife? Will we go home?'
That someone keeps approaching…I can feel myself slipping. As I feel my bodily functions shutting down… I think…I think…am I dreaming?…
'Hey brother, Is my wish to see you that overwhelming? I can't tell what's real and what's not. All I know is that I have failed…but it's ok…you're here now…right?'
"Rorbaaa?!…Ro…a…?! Ro…ss!"
Who is that person that's coming this way? They seem to know me...everything is so blurry...the words they speak are unintelligible for me…everything goes black...I just want to go home...as I felt the cold chill running up my body, I hear that song again…
….I'm running through the forest back in Twilight Town?…yea...there's no mistaking it….I'm running…running without a single care in the world…just like we used to do with our friends…the strong but pleasant smell of pine filling my nostrils…
The gentle afternoon breeze caressing and ruffling my already wild hair…strange…something keeps whispering my name…I feel like if something is holding me…it's a comforting embrace…
"Roxas…I failed…" it's that whisper again….
I keep walking….I find myself heading over to our favorite place...the clock tower...countless sunsets spent on the top of that tower, sharing stories and eating ice cream…Funny…I know it was my favorite but I have forgotten how it tastes like…Do you remember?
"Roxas, I'm sorry…" it laments with so much sadness…guilt….regret.
As I now climb to the top of that tower I see the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen…it fills me with comforting warmth. The pain in my body is no longer there. I smile, maybe I should sit down and enjoy the view once again?
As I'm sitting there, I find it strange, that I feel something wetting my cheeks….
Frowning, I bring up a hand to touch my face but I feel no tears, I look up to the sky and there's no rain….
"Roxas…I love you"
I clench my chest as I bend my head down, my heart is thrumming painfully and in joy "I love you too" a mumble and I close my eyes for a moment.
When I look up towards the sunset again I see someone approaching. The figure is silhouetted by a pale golden light. Still, I can discern there's something familiar about it. I widen my eyes to try and make out who it is…
Strange noises I can't discern fill my ears…But they are far away so I paythem no mind. The person is now closer and see him stretch his hand towards me and I reach out for it…
"Hey….brother..."
What if I'm far from home?
Oh, brother I will hear you call!
What if I lose it all?
Oh, brother I will help you out!
Oh, If the sky comes falling down
for you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
- Hey brother by Avicii