My second ever fanfiction (and my first ever songfic!)! Ain't I proud…
It's on Taylor Swift's Teardrops on My Guitar, told from Yumi's POV. And the actual song doesn't come in for a bit, so you are warned. Plus, the characters act very out of… um… character?
In this fanfic, Odd, Aelita, XANA, Jeremie are non-existent. Sorry… (And in the lyrics I changed 'Drew' to 'He', so it would be more convenient.)
Disclaimer: As you have most probably figured out, I own neither Code Lyoko nor Teardrops on my Guitar.
For as long as I can remember, Ulrich Stern has been my best friend - my sanctuary from the nightmare that was my parents.
Also for as long as I have remembered, I have been in love with him. Him with his chocolate eyes and beautiful smile. Him with whom half the girls in school were mad over.
And yet it was me, he chose to sit with, me who he confided in. I told myself to be content with that. But, somewhere deep down, I knew this wouldn't hold.
(A/N I realised asterisks don't show up…)
I took a deep breath and knocked on Ulrich's dorm. This was it. The event I had been steeling myself to do for the last two months.
I couldn't hold my feelings in much longer. A little nagging voice in the back of my head had driven me to it. I suppose it had always been there, I just pushed it away.
I was going to tell Ulrich I loved him. After staying quiet for so long, my feelings were going to be released. After much lying awake at night contemplating doing it, and just as long during class composing my speech of admittance, I was going to do it.
But then a wave of uncertainty suddenly washed over me, and my hand faltered on the handle. The door flew open; Ulrich's beaming face behind it.
'Yumi, I was just looking for you! Have I got to tell you some great news!'
'You… you did?' I stammered. 'Well, I need to tell you something too…' My voice trailed off miserably as he waved his hand impatiently and pulled me inside.
'You were saying?' he asked, his eyes sparkling with happiness as we sat on his bed. His eyes kept flicking over to a piece of paper on his desk. It looked rather like a letter.
'You go first…' My resolve failed as I looked into those enchanting eyes. I could've cried. The one time I had plucked up enough courage, and I screwed it.
'Great!' Ulrich cried, leaping up and seizing the letter off his desk. I wonder if he noticed the less-than-enthusiastic look on my face. Probably not, he was too excited to notice.
Ulrich launched into a speech, waving the letter around at certain intervals. I only caught fragments of it as I sank deeper and deeper into despair.
'Pen-friend Sissi… moving here… honestly, Yumi, she sounds like the nicest person in the world… sent photo… so pretty… think I'm in love… think she's the one…' He continued in this matter for quite some time.
I closed my eyes. No hope for me now. I might as well just start organising Ulrich and Sissi's wedding already.
My eyes snapped open again, to see Ulrich looking at me concernedly. 'Yumi?'
'I… I have to go now,' I mumbled, looking down to hide the tears welling in my eyes.
As I stood up, still keeping my face hidden, he grabbed my hand to stop me. I trembled at the touch of his hand on mine.
'What did you want to tell me?' he asked.
'It doesn't matter,' I said softly.
'If you say so…' he said, sounding unconvinced and releasing my hand. I walked out, hardly seeing where I was going. I looked back once, to see Ulrich ecstatic once more over his letter.
'Not now, anyway,' I whispered, finishing my sentence, as I watched the face haunting my dreams at night blissfully oblivious of the pain I was experiencing.
I sat down in the cafeteria at an empty table with my lunch, thinking. I had spent most of last week in the depths of despair over Ulrich's new love. Everyday, he had talked of nothing else.
Around me people talked, but I wasn't listening.
'Yumi! Hey, Yumi!' A familiar voice sounded through the cafeteria. A few people looked up, and then went back to their own conversations.
Ulrich burst through to my table. He was dragging along by the hand a slim, beautiful girl. She had raven-black hair, huge liquid brown eyes and ivory-and-rose skin. I assumed this was Sissi.
'This is Sissi!' Ulrich announced. I hadn't seen him this happy since he won his first soccer match.
'Hi,' said Sissi shyly. Close up, she was even prettier, with a melodic voice to match.
He looks
at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
I smiled politely, hoping it looked authentic. It was hard keeping it up, because I was inwardly screaming. I quickly dropped my eyes as they sat down, looking at each other affectionately.
I stood up quickly, and muttered something about the bathroom. I abandoned my lunch and fled to the forest, leaving the couple behind. Besides, I doubted Ulrich would even notice I was gone.
What
I want, what I need
And everything that we should be
The day had passed in a blur. All around me, people were muttering about the 'new girl.' In the bathroom, I had come across a group of girls sobbing hysterically at the thought of Ulrich having a girlfriend.
But that was nothing compared to what I felt.
Once at home, in my room, I flung my bag on my bed and faced my mirror. I studied myself closely.
Shoulder-length black hair, tall, slender body, brown eyes reddened by crying and lack of sleep. I wasn't exceptionally beautiful, especially next to Sissi, but all the same, I wish Ulrich hadn't forgotten about me so soon.
I'll
bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got
everything
That I've had to live without
Downstairs, I could hear my parents screaming at each other again. I turned away from the mirror in disgust, and flung myself onto bed.
From the extensive information on Sissi I had gathered from Ulrich (he talked of nothing else), I knew Sissi had two perfectly loving parents, and two gorgeous little twin sisters to boot.
Me, all I had was nothing. I used to have Ulrich, but now no more.
How could Ulrich have picked Sissi, a random pen-friend he had met only last year, over me – his lasting best friend for all his life?
Well, that's easy, a snide voice in my head said. Sissi is obviously the better pick over you – why shouldn't Ulrich pick Sissi? My insides burned with unexpected anger.
I charged downstairs, right in the middle of my parents' row. And let it all out.
'WHY? Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you have brought me up properly? Why do you have to fight at every turn and…' I ranted on, unaware of what I was saying anymore, unaware of the tears pouring down my cheeks.
All the bottled up emotion I had was vented on my stunned parents. I ended with marching out the door, into the pouring rain outside, where I screamed, face upturned to the heavens. The rain mingled with the tears on my cheeks as the unearthly shriek ripped from my throat.
He
talks to me
I laugh, 'cause it's so damn funny
That I can't
even see anyone
When he's with me
The next day, as usual, I sat down and waited for Ulrich. No matter what he had done to me, I wasn't going to abandon him purely because he had found happiness. If anything, it was my fault I hadn't told him about the way I felt anyway.
Ulrich and Sissi wandered over, joking easily and sitting opposite me. As usual, they tied to include me in their conversation, but were soon repelled by my overly cheerful manner and faked laughter. I did, however, listen to what they were saying.
'Sissi, want to come with me to the school dance tonight?' Ulrich asked suddenly.
I felt a pang somewhere in my chest. I had forgotten all about the dance, and, of course, had given up all hopes of Ulrich going with me.
'Yeah, sure!' Sissi seemed delighted. Ulrich's eyes flicked guiltily over at me for a millisecond, but then returned to Sissi.
He
says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he
knows
He's all I think about at night
I didn't even think of going to the dance. What would I do there, apart from watch Ulrich and Sissi slow-dancing on the dance floor? And bear the sympathetic looks people kept shooting my way.
But then, I couldn't stand the suffocating silence at home either.
I made my decision, and, after a quick change of clothes, set out for school.
He's
the reason for
The teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that
keeps me wishing
On a wishing star
I walked into the gym, my black dress floating around me. Quite a few people looked around as I entered, Ulrich included. I avoided him, though it seemed quite obvious he wanted to speak with me.
After several dances and some food, I visited the bathroom. As I approached the door, giggling and moaning sounded from within. I paused, frowning, stepped in and switched on the light.
He's
the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
I gasped. There, on the floor, was Ulrich half undressed with Sissi on top of him. Judging by their expressions, they hadn't been expecting a visitor. There was a very awkward silence.
'I'll knock next time, shall I?' I asked icily, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I was determined not to cry. I turned and stalked out the door, slamming it behind me.
'Yumi…' Ulrich's half-hearted groan, albeit muffled, sounded. I ignored it and swept outside, regardless of the people I shoved aside to get to the door. Once outside, I ran, wishing fervently I had never met Ulrich Stern.
The heart breaks quietly. Nobody can hear.
He
walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he
goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
The next day at school, I walked down the corridor clutching my books. All emotion and life had been sucked out of me, save some sort of dull, aching emptiness.
As I passed Ulrich, he gave me a hopeful smile, which I didn't return, even if my heart had skipped a few beats as it usually did when Ulrich smiled. However, I turn around and watch him go past. Two seconds later, I wished I hadn't.
There he was, in full view, kissing Sissi as if there was no tomorrow. I let my books tumble out of my arms as I whirled around and took refuge in the forest. Again.
She
better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those
beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky
I sat at the foot of my favourite tree. No, I wasn't angry, if not at myself. Why had my dratted self not told Ulrich earlier? Then it would be me he went to the dance with, me he would kiss in corridors.
I wasn't jealous of Sissi. I mean, it's not her fault Ulrich loves her and not me, is it? But still…
I think I had still kindled some small, wild flame of hope that Ulrich would dump Sissi and declare his undying love for me. That, now, was extinguished.
Sissi didn't know how lucky she was. She had better treat him well. If she didn't, she'd have me to deal with.
'Cause
he's the reason for
The teardrops on my guitar
The only thing
that keeps me wishing
On a wishing star
He's the song in the
car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
I
didn't know what was wrong with me. I was naturally a strong girl,
but all this came tumbling down when I thought of Ulrich. I hated
myself for fooling me into thinking, for even a moment, that Ulrich
loved me back.
Now, I was some lifeless freak. I had thought I had no more tears to shed but I did. They fell like drops of dew to settle on the dying leaves underfoot.
So
I'll go home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture
down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
I loved Ulrich… but yet I hated him at the same time. Well, at least I would let him know what he put me through.
I levered myself up, dried my eyes, tugged a piece of paper out of my pocket and scribbled a note. It was the location of my diary in my room, in a code Ulrich and I had made up when we were children.
My diary was now the only thing I confided in. The last few pages were filled with the agony I felt.
I'll make him know the pain I have suffered, I thought grimly as I slipped the note under his door.
'Cause
he's the reason for
The teardrops on my guitar
The only one
who's got enough of me
To break my heart
He's the song in the
car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
Two days later, my parents divorced. I thought I would my heart would be ripped apart when I was told I had to move to Japan. But I was forced to anyway.
He's
the time taken up
But there's never enough
And he's all that I
need to fall into
On the plane, I looked out the window, seeing France for the last time. All my life there, and for nothing. Hopefully, I would start a new life in Japan, and try to forget the things that happened here.
But I knew I could never forget.
He
looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see.
Yes, I know that was a tad long-winded. But what can I say… It was my first songfic, after all.
Hope you liked it, please review! (I figured there's no point in saying read and review, as you probably have read it already.)