'How Wario' series
By TRUE Unknown
Note: I do not own Nintendo, or the Wario/WarioWare games. I only own this fic.
This is the beginning of a series of how Wario and his friends are so great, that they also save many holidays/occasions. I hope you all read this and enjoy it!
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How Wario… saved Thanksgiving
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[Diamond City; A scraggly man wearing a purple shirt, black overalls, a purple upside-down L hat, and a jagged mustache walks into town]
Waluigi: So… This is Diamond City.
[Who should walk by him but the intrepid reporter dog Ken.]
Waluigi: Excuse me! Do you know where Wario lives?
Ken [sounding like a reporter]: You mean the inventor of the famous WarioWare Inc. game? Why of course! [Points] He resides in the WarioWare Corporation building in the centre of town!
Waluigi [couldn't believe what he just heard]: Famous!? Game!? CORPORATION!!?? I'm gonna kill him!! [Walks off in a burning fervor of determination]
[Waluigi makes his way into the center of town, seeing the WarioWare Corporation building the dog told him about; he makes it to the door, and knocks on the door, also with the burning fervor of determination. Who should open it but a red and white clothed, multi-colored afro man.]
Jimmy T. [disco-style]: Hey! What you need?
Waluigi [eying Jimmy strangely]: I'm here to kill Wario!
[Suddenly, in his WarioWare clothes, save for his lucky yellow W hat, comes Wario himself.]
Wario [sarcastic]: I'm sorry, we're fresh out of that!
Waluigi: Wario!!
Wario: Now, why are you here?
Waluigi: I'm going to make you suffer!
[Waluigi tried to leap on Wario, but, thanks to some battle skills he picked up from battling the evil Black Jewel, he performed a one-two-noggin slammer to the skinny guy, stunning him. Wario then grabbed the stunned Waluigi, and performed his infamous pile driver]
Waluigi [in considerable pain]: Ow… when did you learn some new moves…?
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[Some time passed]
Waluigi [with a head bandage]: So, let me get this straight: You saw a commercial about a best-selling game called Pyoro. This made you realize that the big bucks are in software development, so you and your [With his fingers] "friends" [Stops] decided to make your own game. And when you wanted to keep the profits for yourself, you flew up in a rocket, ran into a floating scientist in a lemon-colored jumpsuit, and all your profits fell into the hands of your associates. Correct?
Wario: Yes.
Waluigi: Might I ask, WHY DIDN'T YOU GET ME INVOLVED!?
Wario: You know I like money. But I didn't know that everyone else was greedy too! And I don't like you too!
Jimmy T. [flashing bling-bling]: You got that right. The name's Jimmy T.
Waluigi: I'm Waluigi.
[Suddenly, coming out of the bathroom was one of Wario's female friends, wearing a red skirt and halter-top, with flowing orange hair and goggles, Mona.]
Waluigi [thinking]: Wow. She's hot. [Aloud] Wow, Wario! You must be so rich, you can buy your own women! WEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [gets kicked in the face by Mona]
Wario: You must be really stupid. My relationship with Mona is platonic. [To Mona] Mona, this is Waluigi. Waluigi, Mona.
Waluigi: I don't believe it one bit! She's hotter than Princess Peach, and you don't even phase one bit!
Wario: So?
Waluigi: … Are you into men?
Wario [glaring]: … Mona, you know what to do.
Mona [quirky smile]: Got it, Wario!
[Mona walks up to Waluigi, kicks him down, and then grabs Waluigi's leg, spinning him around and around, mimicking Wario's giant swing, until she lets him go, hitting the wall]
Waluigi: Ow…
Mona: Like that?
Wario: Thanks much, Mona. [Gets up, and heads to the fridge] Now, where's that shopping list?
Jimmy T.: On the fridge.
Wario: On the fridge!? [Looks up] Oh, there. We need a large turkey for the Thanksgiving dinner. I'll be back. [Goes out]
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[Twenty minutes later, Wario comes back]
Mona: So?
Wario: Nope.
Mona: Nope!?
Waluigi: Probably ate it along the way. WEHEHEHEHE!
Jimmy T. [slaps Waluigi upside the head]: Dude. Not cool.
Wario: They were out of turkeys!
[Now, with a lemon colored jumpsuit, a clown red nose, and a metal visor covering his eyes and right half of his head, Dr. Crygor entered the house.]
Dr. Crygor: This is terrible!
Wario: What?
Dr. Crygor: Someone leaked information to the turkeys, and they all migrated south!
[Wario, Mona, Jimmy, and Waluigi look at him with disbelief]
Waluigi: Is he always this insane?
Wario: Yes.
[With the turkeys; they hitched a ride]
Turkey Alpha: [random gobbling]
Driver: I'm trying! Stop yelling at me!
[Back with the gang]
Dr. Crygor: If we do not apprehend those turkeys, Thanksgiving will be ruined!
Mona: Don't forget Christmas as well, since people eat turkeys around that time too.
Waluigi: What should we do?
Wario [determined]: If those turkeys think they can ruin Thanksgiving by not offering themselves as sacrifices and getting in my belly, then guys, they are so wrong! Let's go!
[The five of them head off to the garage; Wario, along with Mona and Jimmy, go in his Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Vehicle, the Wario Car. Waluigi and Crygor go in Waluigi's vehicle, the Waluigi Racer]
Waluigi [small vein in forehead]: What was my car doing here?
Wario: Holding pickle jars!
Waluigi: EWWW!!
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[And THEY'RE OFF! They wiz past the town, and go down south; not too far ahead, they see a car, whose windows are blocked with turkey feathers]
Crygor: That must be it!
Wario: Someone, take the wheel!
[Wario switches places with Mona; he pulls a Bob-omb out of his pocket]
Waluigi [eying it; it's already ignited]: WAH!! IT'S ALREADY ON, YOU FOOL!
Wario: Oh, crap! [He tosses it ahead to the car; an explosion occurs] Got 'em!
[They, however, are too late to see the smoldering car wreck in front of them, and both of the cars come to a screeching halt; Wario's car stopped, but Waluigi's car hit the wreckage, sending Crygor flying]
Dr. Crygor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GET THE TURKEYS! [Pretty star effect]
Waluigi: Well, that was unexpected.
Turkey Alpha [still going, with some minor turkey officials]: [random gobbling]
Jimmy T.: They've initiated battle!
Wario: We can handle them! Right, guys?
Mona: Right!
Waluigi [laughing evilly]: Most certainly.
[It was a death-defying battle as plump flightless birds with waddles and large brown feathers took on a scraggly man, a disco dancer, a part-time gelateria worker and student, and a greedy antihero who likes the bling-bling; oh! Here comes the finishing blow!]
Wario: Get that bugger over here!
Dr. Crygor: Wait!
Jimmy T.: Why?
Dr. Crygor: If I clone that turkey that you're about to kill, then I can repopulate the area you violently ripped apart.
Turkey Alpha: [random gobbling]
Waluigi [getting irritated]: Can't you just clone it from dead turkeys?
Dr. Crygor: I'm going to ignore what you just said.
[All around them, we see... death. All the turkeys that tried to rebel against our hero(es)[?] are now dead. The only alive one is the Turkey Alpha, whom they promptly stuffed in a cage]
Waluigi: Wow. Look at all the death!
Mona: Yeah.
Wario: Well, with these, we can at least re-stock the stores!
Waluigi: Heh.
Jimmy T.: What?
Waluigi: He's not thinking about the green this time!
Wario: Shut up!
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[At Wario's house/WarioWare Corporation building, here we see the WarioWare gang (Kat, Ana, Orbulon, 9-Volt, Dr. Crygor, Dribble, Spitz, Mona, Jimmy T., Waluigi, and Wario) about to feast on delicious Thanksgiving meal, including turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, etc.]
Wario [he raises a champagne glass; Kat, Ana, and 9-Volt can't have champagne, so, uh, ginger ale will do]: My friends, a toast! To me!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--I'm just yanking you there this time.
Jimmy T.: Mean it this time, man!
Wario: I am! I am! I shall give thanks to all my friends! For without friends, I wouldn't have made WarioWare Inc.!
[Everyone face faults]
Waluigi: You have some nerve!
Mona: Yeah! Lard-ass!
Wario: Well, I guess that was a little uncalled for. [Everyone looks at him] Okay, it was uncalled for! Let us just enjoy our meal! Of course! [raises glass again] A toast! TO US!!
Everyone: TO US!!
[And so after the meal, everyone was 'a little tipsy' and played Twister. You wouldn't believe how easy Waluigi found it. When it got a little too far, Kat, Ana, 9-Volt, and Spitz (who needs approx. 10 champagne glasses to get intoxicated) had to get everyone home. Waluigi ended up following Kat and Ana home, sleeping outside in the cruel cold]
Waluigi: WHY IS IT SO COLD!? AAACHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
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Well, what think?