Addison Forbes-Montgomery sipped her hot chocolate as she sat on one of the benches in Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. It was her first day back, and she wasn't sure what to feel. It was all so familiar, and yet, so different. She was happy to be back, to see all her old friends.
But so much had changed, and she felt out of the loop. Everyone had moved on with their lives. Everyone but her. She was in the same position she was nine years ago. Single, and about to start a new job. Well, re-start an old job, but the idea was the same.
She looked up and saw Meredith and Derek in the distance. The new Shepherds. They were talking and laughing, a perfect picture of happiness. A nurse walked up to them with some files, and Meredith turned to tend to some patient or the other. Derek smiled as she walked away, and turned in Addison's direction. He noticed her less than sunny disposition, and came to sit by her.
"So. I guess I should say welcome back huh?" When she didn't return his smile, he changed his tone. "What's wrong Addie?" She was quiet for a few moments. For a few moments they just sat in silence. Derek was just about to try again, when she started to speak. "Is this my punishment? I made a mistake, I cheated on you. So now, all these years later, you are perfectly, perfectly blissfully happy, and I am a mess. Addison Forbes-Montgomery, train wreck extraordinaire." She laughed to herself bitterly, choking back tears. "What is about me Derek? What is about me that makes me impossible to love. You. Mark. Alex. Sam. Jake. I mean, I've made my fair share of mistakes, but am I not worth it? Am I not worth fighting for? Do I not deserve to be looked at like you look at Meredith?"
Derek stared at her. He opened his mouth, to say something comforting, but nothing came out. He supposed he should hold her hand, or stroke her hair or something, but he couldn't. Instead, he stood up to walk away. He made it a few steps before he stopped.
He turned to face her. "Goddam it Addie. No. No. You don't get to do this. You don't get to sit there and cry about this. Oh. Poor Addison. Nobody loves her. Well think again. This hospital, is filled with doctors who jumped, literally jumped, when they found out that you were coming back. Bailey? Torres? Those are not easy women to impress."
Derek laughed as he shook his head. "Karev. Alex Karev. He respects you. You inspired him to change his specialty." Addison sighed and shook her head.
But before she could say anything, Derek cut her off "And if that's not enough. What about me? Eleven years we were married. Eleven years. I was in love with you Addie. I didn't know what the word meant before I met you. I wrote you a song, that goddam song. When you came back to Seattle after – after Mark, I wanted to hate you. I tried so hard. But I couldn't. Because Addison Adrienne Montgomery-Forbes I loved you. And I always will."
Derek went back and sat next to her, turning her face towards him. "You think I never looked at you like I look at Meredith? I did. Every day, from the day I saw you across that cadaver. Every single day. You were my first love, the love of my life. And maybe we don't end up together, maybe that's not how our story goes. But it's a beautiful story"
There were tears in her eyes, and Addison's eyes were far from dry. They sat in silence for a few moments, closer to each other than they had been in ages. He could smell her perfume, she still wore the same one, after all these years. "So no. You do not get to sit here, and throw yourself a pity party. You matter. You matter so much. So get into that OR, and be the bad-ass I know you are."
Derek got up and walked away, without looking back. He smiled to himself, because the thought finally sunk in. Addie was back. She was here to stay. His best friend was back.