The Worst Of Both Worlds
The MPAA has given this a rating of PG-13. It contains violence, scary images, language, drug use and adult themes.
ONE PIECE belongs to Eiichiro Oda. I also don't own Les Miserables
The goat was staring at him. Just staring and chewing on something green. And it made it really hard to focus. Not that he wanted to, really. What on Satan's green Earth could be more boring than sitting in a theater with a bunch of chumps and watching a really shitty musical? Doflamingo idly fiddled with his large pink feather coat and tried to ignore two really distracting things: the whiny, angsty sounds of Les Miserables coming from the stage and Sengoku's goat, which was most definitely planning something evil.
Oh. The bows were beginning. At last. Doflamingo stood up quickly and stalked out of the theater, snarling at the usher who wished him a good day. Sengoku had better have a good reason for ruining his day like this. His hand went up to his spiked blond hair, making sure for the thousandth time that it was unruffled. The day was cloudy but he kept his trademarked sunglasses (World Style, 200 million berries) on his face. He had an image to represent. He thought about kicking a pigeon that was getting too close to his high heeled, crocodile skin shoes (80 million berries), but decided against it.
Three Marines left the theater. Two were crying and leaning on Sengoku's shoulders. The Fleet Admiral attempted to keep their tears from ruining his dress uniform, grimacing. Akainu tried to get himself together, finally detaching himself from Sengoku and instead cradling his head in his hand. Aokiji just kept blubbering on Sengoku. Akainu's lined, hard face seemed odd when it was in this kind of distress. Aokiji looked even stranger. The flood of tears, apart from making Sengoku look really sweaty, had flattened half of Aokiji's frizzy curly hair.
"Aokiji, get yourself together," barked Sengoku, finally losing patience. He shoved Aokiji off of his shoulder. The Admiral fell to the ground and continued bawling.
"It's just so sad," he gasped. "They never made the world a better place…"
"It's tragic," agreed Akainu. "The hero committed suicide. Godammit!"
Aokiji stopped crying and looked up quizzically at Akainu. "Huh? The hero didn't... Wait a minute! Javert wasn't the bloody hero, you dolt."
Akainu glared out at Aokiji from under his hand. "What're you talking about? Of course he was." Sengoku cleared his throat.
"Stop this infantile nonsense. And get back here Doflamingo!" The Shichibukai, who had been surreptitiously walking away down the street, hands in his pockets, froze, then pivoted on his heels. He smirked at Sengoku, the undertone less than friendly.
"What do ya want already, Sengoku? You drag me to this piece of shit play and then ya want me to do something else for ya? You've got to be kidding me. Jeez!" Sengoku put a hand on his goat and Doflamingo shut up. That goat was too damn creepy.
"I've got a job for you guys. The three of you." They gaped at him. This was all wrong, thought Akainu. Not only did it conflict with prudent military strategy about not putting too many forces in one area (after all, what task besides a world war would require more than one Admiral?), he was about to be saddled with two people he absolutely could not stand. Doflamingo spent about twenty seconds in the silence after Sengoku's proclamation debating just how to get out of this, then decided against it. He would just try to ruin whatever it was most thoroughly. Those World Government goons so needed to get pissed on.
Aokiji actually did get out of it rather rapidly when (a very drunk) Vice Admiral Garp latched himself onto Aokiji's shoulders, muttered something to Sengoku about Mahjong, and led him away. Sengoku tutted, but was reduced to stroking the goat. Who was still eating something green.
"Well, anyway," said Sengoku, trying and failing to appear cool and collected, "You guys are going to hunt down a pirate. He's become a real threat to us, and we think that he needs to be stopped. Actually, he's one of your lot," gesturing at Doflamingo. "He goes by Buggy the Clown."
On a ship on an ocean but on the same planet, a man with ponytails and a large red nose sneezed, then laughed it off, with absolutely no idea of the impending doom heading his way. His crew of nefarious former inmates from the underwater prison Impel Down, as well as his original circus-themed crew (and a hitchhiker named Alvida who most of the crew knew Buggy only kept around with the hope of one day getting into her pants), were all engaging in some truly heavy partying. Grog, beer, and something brewed in a bathtub were circulating, the dancing was wild and uncoordinated, and the food was abundant. Cabaji's black hair, normally allowed to fall on one side of his face, was currently glued to a lion. While the lion roared, Cabaji tried in vain to free himself.
"Mohji you asswipe!" a frustrated Cabaji finally yelled. "You're going to pay for this!" Mohji, Buggy's first mate, simply giggled. His stubbled chin, beard and sideburns looked even stupider than normal, thought Buggy, and began to giggle uncontrollably. The lion, Ritchie, simply snarled and hit Mohji in the side of the head, knocking him off the ship. The crew and captain found this hilarious.
Back on top of the Red Line, in the shiny white city of Marijoa, Doflamingo likewise began to laugh. "Buggy the Clown? That wanker? You're sending us to deal with Buggy?" He continued to cackle, bending over and clutching his knees for support. "You're killing me, Sengoku. Really, man, that's hilarious." Theatrically wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, Doflamingo began to edge away. "Well, I guess ya don't really need me, now, do ya?" Sengoku responded by grabbing his ear and dragging him along back to Marine headquarters.