A/N: This story contains self harm, depressing/suicidal thoughts, and an attempted suicide. If you are easily triggered by any of these, I advise you not to read this story. It will also be femslash, so if that's not your cup of tea, then do not read this story. This is my first attempt at a Glee fic. Pairings will include: Faberry, Brittana, and Klaine.
Prologue
I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be in this position. I never thought I would become a statistic. I was supposed to be a star, supposed to be special, bigger and better than this town, bigger and better than these Lima Losers. In the end though, I'm no better than them, I'm not even good enough to be a Lima Loser. Every day I would plaster that stupid fake smile on my face, and pretend to be okay, pretend to not be falling apart at the seams, pretend that their words and actions don't hurt when in reality they were slowly killing me on the inside. Sometimes I wish someone had noticed how much pain I'm in, but soon it won't matter. Nothing will matter.
I stare at the cuts and scars that mar my arms and legs, as I wonder what it will feel like to end it all. I slowly bring my blade to lay gently against the skin of my wrists. Every time I had done this in the last few months, I was careful. I didn't want anyone to find out just how far the star had fallen, but now it won't make a difference if they know. I'll be gone by the time they realize how deep my pain ran.
My steel escape flashes in the light, almost as if daring me to get a move on and finish it already. The temptation soon becomes too much to ignore, not that I want to anyway. I press the sharp blade deep into my skin, sighing as I feel the familiar bite I've relied on to get through the days lately. I slowly start to drag the edge across my wrist, watching as the blood bubbles to the surface, and spills down my hand to drip to the floor. I slide down the wall next to the door leading to my room as the feeling sets in. It's a wonderful, yet terrible feeling. Knowing that you have to physically hurt yourself just to feel. I wish I had never made the first cut, but sometimes I'm glad I did. I transfer my blood stained friend from my right hand to my left to make an identical incision on my right wrist.
I start to feel as if I'm floating. I drop the crimson cloaked razor to the floor as I watch the rivers of red flow, staining the pristine white tile of my bathroom floor an ugly red. Just as my vision starts to blur and darken, I vaguely hear footsteps running up the stairs. The pounding feet get closer and closer until they stop just outside the bathroom door. The door handle jiggles as the person tries to open it. I'm happy to have had the forethought to lock the door, before starting. I hear them curse lightly when they realize the door is locked.
"Rachel?' I freeze when I recognize who is outside the door.
"No, no, no. Go away." I manage to whisper. They breathe a sigh of relief when they hear me.
"Open the door, Rach." They command lightly. I flinch at the nickname.
"No. Just go away. This is what you all wanted, isn't it? So just go away." By now my vision is getting darker, and the pool of red I'm sitting in is growing by the second.
"Fine. We'll do it the hard way then." I don't even have time to wonder what they mean before I hear a loud bang and the door flew open to reveal the person behind the door. I close my eyes as I feel myself drifting farther and farther away from the world.
"Oh god no. Rachel look at me please. Please. Just stay awake. Talk to me. Tell me you hate me, just please be okay. Please." I can hear the tears in their voice. I hear them rummaging around in drawers and cabinets while talking to someone. I can't hear what they're saying, because its like I have cotton in my ears. The next thing I know I feel them wrapping something around both of my wrists. I crack my eyes open to see a towel wrapped around each wrist, both becoming saturated with my blood quickly. I struggle weakly to get away from my "savior" but soon realize its pointless.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel." Is the last thing I heat before I finally feel the darkness consume me.
A/N: So what did you think? Good? Terrible? Alright? Shoot me a review and let me know.
Thanks,
Tink