Let's be honest with ourselves, this is what would really happen if we ever found ourselves in Fullmetal Alchemist.

What Would Really Happen

Her name was Amelia Pond. Actually, it wasn't, but she figured that if she was zapped into an anime the least she could do was amuse herself a bit by making references nobody but her understood. That is why Hiccup decided that her name would be whatever the hell she wanted it to be (and who cared if 'Hiccup' was technically a boy, she'd make it work). Anyway, Princess Buttercup really couldn't believe her luck when she found herself in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist. One moment, she was eating icecream at home, the next she was still eating icecream, but she wasn't watching the Office anymore. Her spoon was halfway to her mouth when suddenly she appeared right in the center of some sort of crime bust. All the important people were there, y'know, Edward and Alphonse and Mustang and the like, and they were just as surprised to see her as she was to see them.

"Well this is awkward," she declared, before scooting off to the side to finish eating her icecream while the fictional characters finished up with arresting the fictional bad guys (they weren't any real bad guys, who would actually come into play later, or had some impact on the plot, they were only there so that everyone would be around when Mary Sue lll appeared out of nowhere).

After all that was taken care of, she was hauled back to military headquarters, probably for questioning on how she literally appeared from nowhere. Her bowl and spoon had been left at the site, since she didn't want to carry it around, and now she was wondering what would happen if someone discovered her plastic product. Had these people invented plastic yet? She didn't think so.

"Who are you?" Mustang asked, and she had to hold back a squeal (he was her favorite character after all).

Since the truth wouldn't really work, she decided to just go for it and exclaimed dramatically, "I am an oracle! I can tell the future!" She grinned from ear to ear and said, "But you can call me Grey."

"Grey?"

"Yeah! 'Cause it sounds all cool and mystical or something. If you want, you can call me Rapunzel." She didn't look anything like Rapunzel, mind you. Oh right, I forgot to describe her! Well, she was a bit short for her size (don't you mean age?) and had short, curly hair that was black and vaguely blue-ish, green-ish eyes. And freckles. If we really wanted to get Mary Sue-ish, then we could go into her body type, except that makes her uncomfortable and she would really rather we didn't.

"Now," she said, clasping her hands. "What part are we at? What's happened so far?"

"Excuse me-"

"Look, look, I'm super smart," she told them airily. "I know exactly what's going to happen. But I can't figure that out until you tell me what's happened so far. Have you met any homunculi, yet?"

"How do you know about that?" Ed demanded, glaring at her.

"'Cause I know everything!" she replied cheekily.

She wasn't sure what it was, probably plot convenience or maybe it was because she had a vague Mary Sue effect (she was only half Mary Sue, the other half was a normal, well rounded person), but Ed for some reason ended up telling her something that made her freeze on the spot. "I met Lust, Envy, and Gluttony in Laboratory 5," he explained.

"Mn-hm," she nodded along.

"They tried to force me to create a philosopher's stone-"

"Mn- wait, what?!" The poor girl was taken aback. That...that didn't happen. That wasn't supposed to happen! "Uh-oh." It was then that Dorothy realized that she was not in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. The anime she knew and loved. No, no, she was in Fullmetal Alchemist. Just that. The original series. The one she never saw.

"What's wrong?" Mustang asked, because for some reason he didn't find her behavior up until this point remotely weird at all. Also, Al was somewhere in the room. Probably. And Hawkeye as well. Maybe.

"Well, see, remember when I said I knew everything? Well, there's a slight problem." She then grabbed a sheet of paper as well as a pen off Mustang's desk, and drew a line. "Imagine that this line is the timeline of your world, kay? So it goes alone, does its thing, whatever. But then imagine there's a different world, that starts out the same-" She drew over the start of the line before moving off into a different direction. "-but then, because of slight changes you didn't really notice in the beginning, has made it turn out completely different." She labeled the top line 'Line A' and the bottom one 'Line B.' "Now, imagine we are currently on the Line A timeline," she went on. "Except I know everything from what happens in Line B."

"I see," Mustang mused, even though the situation was way too weird and complicated to be taken so casually. "How inconvenient that there happens to be two, different types of this world and you happened to appear in the wrong one."

"Yeah, and that's not even including the movies," she added in helpfully.

"That makes perfect sense," Ed felt the need to add.

"Anyway," she sighed sadly (did you see that alliteration there? Didya see it?). "i don't really know much about this world, except that the homunculi are different somehow, and Lust has actual backstory or something, and I don't even think Selim is Pride anymore. And who knows what Hohenheim is up to." Normally, Ed would burst out into an angry rant at the mention of his father's name, but this time he simply nodded sagely.

"Oh well," Cleopatra sighed again. "I'm here, I might as well enjoy myself while it lasts. Hopefully, none of my favorite characters die." And that is how she joined the Fullmetal Alchemist on his quest to restore his brother's body and save Amestris. She decided that she didn't really like the ending very much. And she lived happily ever after, staying eternally in Amestris and making her living by inventing icecream. The end.

Yep...I watched the original series and thought that this had to be made.